Written In Black

That was over a year ago, I remember it still, just as if it were yesterday. I laid there remembering the look in Peter’s eyes as he held my hand, he was so kind, there wasn’t a minute that went by when I didn’t want to be with him. After all, Peter was the only person on earth who had ever really understood me, the only one who really knew me, really helped me through my pain, when I was sad, or alone. He was apart of me now. And as I looked out this clear cold window to the city, I thought to myself, how much he really meant to me, how I would do anything for him. And one of my biggest questions of all, where was he?

I heard shuffles coming from the door, I turned my head, it was my mom.

“Any sign of him?” I sat up.

She shook her head.

It had been over a month since Peter’s disappearance. He had left my house late one night, said he was on his way to visit his grandmother, she had still been in the hospital, the poor old woman, she was only eighty or ninety at the most, that was all she ever did was lay in that ole’ hospital bed, I felt so bad, I always wish I could have done something, but everyday, I never see things getting better for her. But the next morning, I also visited her, hoping to hear news of the visit with Peter, but she said she never had one visitor that night.

That is when I grew suspicious, so I visited Peter’s dad; by that time, Peter was done with school, so his father lived alone, because Peter was off to college. But I had the same reply, there were no visitors, and no Peter. Although, despite the lack of pieces to this infinite puzzle, Peter did say something to me before he left, something I had never told anyone since that day, something I had even managed to hide away in my own crazy thoughts, Peter was trying to find his...hope. It didn’t sound as terrifying when I thought it, but then I remembered the day Peter told me that himself.

His whole face showed the smugness of that thought. The stiffness in his jaw, so brave, but his eyes, those were what really made me go pale, they were as wide as ever, full of hate and fury, they even managed to grow dark, yet they were so tired, that they almost sealed shut, but I could tell that at that very moment, that Peter wasn’t...Peter anymore, he was an entirely different person.

I looked back at mom, she was on my bed now, as I was sitting on the window seat. “He’ll show up, have faith.” Mom said. I shook my head, not because I felt hopeless, but because there was no hope. I have never been a person of faith, it has always been absent to me my entire life, it was absent to me when my dad died, it was absent to me when I thought school would get easier, it was absent to me when I thought it would get easier for my mom, and it was absent for me now, when Peter was not sitting here with me, snuggling up on our comfy couch downstairs watching a cheesy horror film and talking about how much we hate life but would give anything to live for it.

I walked over to the bed and sat next to mom. I couldn’t help but bury my face in her shoulders, I felt her hand rest on my head. Besides Peter, my mom was the only one who really knew what I was going through, my dad died years past due to cancer, so he was never around.

“You should probably get some rest Jay, it’s a quarter till eleven...you can’t keep going on about this, if you worry, you will be piled with stress for the rest of, well, whenever we spot Peter, but for now, you need to sleep, you have school tomorrow.” Mom kissed my forehead and left me lingering on the side of my bed. I got up and turned off the light, then slid myself into bed.

Fires, raging fires, flames everywhere, not a single spot of clear cool air. The sky was dismayed with black clouds and darkness. Down below, over a thousand soldiers stood side by side with their weapons armed, which looked to be long spiraled thin swords, the soldiers, they looked devilish with their cold dark skin, along with their eyes, pitch black, almost to the effect, you’d think they had no eyes , across the other side, was another army, they were armed as well, but something was peculiar about these warriors, they were...glowing, brighter than anything I had seen before, I couldn’t make out their appearance, but I could see the weapon they held, it was some kind of sword as well, but these swords were different, they were like a pirate’s sword in a way, they curved in just a little, releasing an end point sharp enough that one didn’t need to touch it to be harmed. But I couldn’t get over that glow, that bright mesmerizing glow that kept my gaze on them, it was beautiful.

“Surrender now while you still have the chance.” said one who glowed.

“We seek what you hold.”

Then one of the soldiers who glowed stepped up and said in an evil whisper, “You will have to rip my very soul out if you want it.” Want what, what was he talking about--

“Jay, wake up.” I opened my eyelids, and there, stood before me, Peter. He looked so much different then before, his dark hair grew longer, and more wavy. He was no longer lean and skinny, he had grown, and had increasingly large muscles, and not just that, but he had looked more worn out than ever.

“Are you alright?” Peter asked.

I jerked back, “Am I alright, you are the one who has been missing for over a month, what are you doing here, are you alright, what happened to you, you’re different?” I did a brief check on him to make sure he was actually here, I brushed my hand against his cheek, it was cold, and solid, now I could relax.

Peter nodded with despair, “I’m fine, but you still haven’t answered my question, are you alright?” Peter waited desperately for an answer.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

He knelt this time, “You were screaming in your sleep.”

“Oh, bad dream.” Peter smiled then came over to the bed and laid next to me.

I rested my head on his shoulder, as he wrapped his arms around mine, “I’m so glad you’re here...did you find what you were looking for?” Peter glanced at the picture on my wall, it was a picture of him. Lately, since Peter had been gone, I drew pictures, remembering him, wondering if I would see him again. Then Peter looked at me, reaching in kissing me on my cheek.

He reached for my hair, tucking it behind my ear, “Do you know how much I adore you?” I blushed, hearing Peter say that, it made me feel so much better.

“I wish you’d let me actually take a picture of you.” I smiled.

“So what happened, in your dream?” Peter seemed faintly concerned, but I answered him anyway.

“I’m not sure, it was a real horror, it was like...a war almost, there were these creepy looking...demons, they had black eyes.” Demons was the only word to describe those awful looking things.

Then I continued the story, “Then, there were these...bright beings, unlike anything I’ve seen before, I couldn’t see what they looked like, but they shined brighter than anything I had ever seen, well awake that is.” I laughed.

“And there was--” I stopped myself, it was only a dream, but for some reason, I felt uncomfortable telling Peter what the thing in my dream had said.

“And?” I shook my head.

Peter nudged me in a funny manner, “Come on, what else?”

I looked at Peter, “The demons, they wanted something important I guess, something the other glower’s had.” I remembered the look of it’s face, so determined, revolting, it scared the hell out of me,

I heard a laugh, I turned to Peter, “What is it?”

He looked at me, “Glower’s?”

I shoved him a little, “It was what I was calling them in my head.”

The moment ended and suddenly it got quiet.

I turned to Peter, his face grew pale, like he just saw a ghost.

“Peter, are you okay?” It took about ten seconds before he finally fell out of his trance.

“It sounds to me, like you should stop watching all those horror films.”

“You’re probably right.”

Peter sat up, about to leave. I reached for his arm, that’s when I saw it. That mark on his left shoulder. It was, what looked like two black rings connected to each other, but something about it, gave me chills.

“I hadn’t seen this before, when did you get it?” Peter ignored my question and laid back down.

He drew his fingers through my long brunette hair, then scooched in, “Get some sleep, I will make sure you won’t have anymore nightmares, I promise.”

“Wait--will you be here tomorrow?” I asked in a desperate tone.

“Maybe, but I can’t stay long, there are still things I need to clear up.” I tucked my head into his chest like a pillow, he was always so warming, so gentle, sometimes it made me cry. And for the rest of the night, I slept peacefully and happily, knowing that Peter was alright, a little bit different, but he was here, and safe.

“And Peter,”

“Ya?”

“Next time you decide to take a trip, make sure it’s not over a long month.” I tucked on his shirt, and felt a tear roll down my cheek.

“Don’t do that to me ever again, please.”

He brushed his hand against my cheek and kissed my forehead, “I promise.”

The alarm clock went for over ten seconds, probably the most annoying ten seconds I could possibly stand every morning. I looked around the room, Peter was gone. I got up and checked the time, seven forty-five! School started at eight thirty. I quickly ran and got dressed in my hoodie and jeans, then slipped into the bathroom to freshen up.

That’s when I noticed a small blue paper taped to the bathroom mirror,

‘Jay, I’m sorry about barging in like that last night and then leaving, Meet me under the bridge at five. ~Peter’

The bridge was always our place to go; Peter and I, it was near the park downtown. Every Time I finished school, I would take my car down there and meet him, we would usually stay for hours talking about our lives, past humiliations, (we laughed at those), and a ton of other stuff, which I missed, I just hoped there would be good news.

As anyone’s ordinary school day, it was a drag, long lectures, tests, people who can’t be the best people in the world, nerds, jocks, populars, but me, I was just--me. And I guess that was my big issue in society, is that I never fit in anywhere, no groups, not even the loners table, I guess one could say I wasn’t like other students, not going to parties, or homecoming games, not even to a movie with a friend. I had friends though, some.

My friend, her name’s Allie, she isn’t the typical high school girl either, she has a really good way of expressing herself, had her own style of music, clothing, movies, but the problem with her, is that she wants people to know that she is different, get everyone’s attention, and if no one thought she was good, she would change her opinion and appearances and start over, that’s what I mean, for that very reason is why she is like everyone else, striving to become popular, to be most liked, appreciated, but me, I wouldn’t waste my time trying in my best efforts to become other people’s happiness and appeal.

My mom always told me that if I was myself, the right people would find me.

I live by that motto, but as far as I’m concerned, Peter was the only one, there had been no one else, and actually, I’m quite appealed to that.

After the long day I drove my car down to the bridge. I had been waiting all day, there was nothing I could think about other than this. If this was the time I had to spend with Peter I would take it. Even though he had been gone for a month, it felt like eternity without him.

But I could probably imagine a month without a teacher, or a friend. But with Peter, it was much more, he wasn’t just some friend, or boyfriend, sometimes, before I met him, I would imagine meeting the perfect person, the type of person that would understand me, listen to me when I talk, I mean listen, and not babble on about some football game or who won the next championship, someone that would hold my hand when we walked, someone who would love me for me, and once I found Peter, it had almost been--just almost, like we were meant to be together, and when he came up missing, I felt like my soul had been ripped away. It may have seemed dramatic, maybe even a little theatrical at the most, but for Peter, nothing was over exaggerated. I couldn’t lose him again, this time I had to make sure he was alright.

I pulled on the corner of fifth street and walked along the bright green grass that led to the bridge. I finally reached it, and there he was, Peter standing there. But then I noticed someone else, a man, whom wore a long black trench coat and shades, he was talking to Peter.

“I don’t care what you say, you’re not having it!” Peter yelled.

“He won’t be pleased.” The man replied cautiously.

“I don’t give a damn who’s ass I’m not pleasing, you get the hell out of here while you still can.” The man started to leave but turned around,

“You better watch your back Peter, or something might just slip up.” I saw Peter’s jaw get tense, he clenched his fist like he was about to throw a punch, but held it in. Finally the man left.

I came out from behind the corner and rested my hand on Peter’s shoulder, “What was that about?”

Peter turned looking astonished, then shook his head, “Someone looking for trouble...I’m glad you’re here, I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

He held both of my hands in his and rested us both under the corner of the bridge. Then he looked up at me,

“I…” he shook his head, “There have been things going on lately, I haven’t been completely honest with you.” I tightened my grip in his hands, preparing for the worst scenario.

“To start off,” Peter sighed, then took a deep breath.

“My father, he is not my father, he was an old friend of mine awhile back and decided to give me a place to stay while I figured things out. And my grandmother, she and I are not related either, but saved my life when I was younger, I owe her very much since that day.”

My mind was beyond boggled right now, why had he lied? And an even better question, how had she saved Peter’s life?

“Hold on, why are you telling me this now? What happened with the woman, how did she save your life, what about your dad?”

Peter let out a large sigh, “Thing’s have been complicated lately, I thought now might be the best time to be truthful. I can’t exactly tell you why she saved my life, but let’s just say that’s the only reason she’s lying there in that hospital bed, and I owe her much, more than you know. Listen, I’m sorry for being so secretive, but there had been things in my life I have been trying to get past, I felt a little uncomfortable talking about them, and I’m sorry, I should have been honest.”

Peter waited, hoping for an it’s alright, or, you just didn’t know how to tell me, but I just answered with another question.

“Your real parents...what happened to them?” I felt nervous asking this question, hoping Peter would give me a reasonable answer.

Then Peter let out a long breath and began to speak, “I was in the foster system, my parents died, but when I turned fourteen I ran away, I had become so sick of that place, I decided to live my own life, I found him while I was running, he saw me and he was so kind, he allowed me a place to stay, and food to eat. I was extremely grateful, I owe him much as well.”

“Sound’s like you owe a lot to everyone.”

“There will never be a day, where I will stop owing them what they deserve, I will keep paying back the favor...until my heart stops beating.”

Now my heart stopped beating, whatever Peter did, whatever they did to help Peter, it must had been a pretty big deal. I said nothing, all I felt, was sympathy and love for Peter, I felt in a way like I understood him. I stayed silent.

He turned to me astonished, “That’s it? You’re not mad, not upset?” he asked quizzically.

I shrugged and pecked him on the cheek, “You’re a good person, that’s what I go on.” He smiled, knowing that we both knew everything was good. I leaned my head on Peter’s shoulders and closed my eyes, enjoying the rest of the evening with him. My phone buzzed, it was mom. I turned to Peter.

“Look’s like it’s time to go.” Peter said.

“So what happens now Peter, are you staying, or- -”

“I’ll stay for a while, but I need leave as soon as possible. Once things get out of hand--”

“What things, that’s all you keep saying, what things?”

Peter held my hands and chuckled, “Jay, always so curious, please trust me when I tell you that when these things get dealt with, I will tell you everything when the times right.” I nodded, knowing I wouldn’t get anymore information then I just had.

“What about my mom, can I tell her you’re here?” Peter shook his head.

“I’m sorry, but I have been missing for over a month now, she will want details, so will the police, a story, one of which I had not yet planned out unfortunately.” he chuckled.

Peter held my hand ready to walk me to my car.

Something wasn’t right though, I could see it in his eyes, he looked tensed and nervous.

“Is everything alright Peter?” He looked back at me.

His eyes were still off into space, “Just make sure you will go straight home after this, please?” I wasn’t sure why Peter asked me this, but I made my promise.

“Okay, I will see you soon.” Then, without warning, Peter leaned in gently pressing his lips against my own, but then it was intense, almost desirable, he leaned in further, as did I, it was like we hadn’t been with each other in forever. I felt like home. Peter pushed me against the wall of the bridge wrapping my face in his hands, nothing felt more real, than this moment. I began to tug tightly on the back of his neck, gently at first, then tightly.

Peter leaned in, reaching for more of me. I leaned back placing my palms against his chest. I felt a teardrop on my cheek, it was Peter’s. Was he, crying? I let back, using my thumb to wipe the tear off of Peter’s cheeks.

“I’ve missed you.” Peter sniffled. But not loudly, but in a manner of relief, joy.

“I’ve missed you too, I thought for a moment, before last night, that you might not ever come back.” I waited for another answer.

“Well, you should probably get going, and remember what I said, absolutely no stops whatsoever.” I nodded.

“Good.” Peter had added, as if I were a small child. That always bugged me when he did that, but if it was important to him, I would listen. Peter gave me one last remarkable kiss before he left. I dove into my car, heading back home.

Peter said no stops, so I kept my promise. When I finally reached the house it was practically eight o’clock, had I really been with Peter for three hours? I grabbed the keys and turned the handle, mom was waiting for me in the kitchen.

“And why exactly young lady, were you out so late?”

“Sorry mom, I was with a friend, we had studying to do, I forgot to call.”

“And what friend, may I ask?”

“Allie, you know her, she’s in my history class.” Mom untensed her shoulders then walked over to me.

“Don’t ever do that to me again, understand?” I nodded, then received a great hug.

Well then, it seemed everyone in my life wanted to keep me in check.

“I put pizza in the oven, it’s just about done cooling down, you hungry?”

I nodded, grabbing two slices of pizza, then heading to my room.

I slipped into the chair next to the desk, enjoying the pizza. Then, just as I took my last bites, I pulled out my sketchbook, starting a fresh new page, although this time, I drew Peter’s new tattoo, the two black rings. Why had he gotten those? Peter of all people knew that body art is bad.

Peter came from a religious family, even his father had been christian, Peter told me once, a few months back, that it said in the bible that it was a sin to put anything unmade from god unto your body, that your body was like a temple. He brought me to a few sermons once, but I got tired with it, I had told him it was his thing, not my own. Peter was fine with my decision, but it just bugged me the rest of the time that I never went back, I never knew why, it just did.

Their, the rings were perfectly aligned and shaped to the design on Peter’s arm. I closed up my sketchbook and headed to bed. There was another thing bugging me, besides the tattoo, in fact, it might as well been everything, the fact that Peter had lied, his disappearance and reappearance, the man who he spoke with under the bridge, not having what? What was it that the man desperately wanted? A thought popped up in my mind, this had sounded like an original argument I once heard before-in my dream, a man had said the same thing, that was strange. I ignored my mad thought, for I myself knew that combining dreams with reality would turn into a nightmare. I began to think of everything and nothing, and then anything, anything besides what I wanted to ignore. I began to think of school, which strangely enough, took my mind of things. I remembered I actually did have to study for history, tomorrow was the big test.

Unwillingly, I pulled out my notebook and studied for what seemed like all night. I checked my clock, two-thirty a.m. My eyes were still adjusting to the numbers on the dialogue. And my body was sore and frozen. Slowly, I shoved my notebook back into my backpack and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.