Wildling

~~~Jaxson’s POV~~~

I’m not going to lie. I was a little hurt when I heard Ember was no longer a virgin. Ares was angered that he wouldn’t be her first, but I calmed him down by reminding him we would definitely be her last. In reality, not many people wait anymore. Even wolves who know they have a soulmate. Speaking for myself, I have never been with another before. I never held any interest in other woman. Sure, some tried. Mostly gold digging she wolves that only wanted status.

Ember just dropped the real bomb on me though. She used to be a wolf?! I mean it makes sense since she never got scared or anything and knew exactly what I was.

What has our mate gone through? How did she lose her wolf? My other half? Ares’ low whine filled my head.

Ember kept saying things like, I wouldn’t want her once I knew. That marking her would put me through too much.

I will rip apart whatever bastard hurt her so badly that she feels so low about herself that she doesn’t deserve love. Ares snarled.

You and me both. She is worth everything. Anything bad I could ever go through in this entire lifetime would be worth it just to have her in my life.

I love her.

She was so brave. Bearing herself to my eyes to make me understand. I had seen the scars before but only quick glimpses. Now she was giving me the opportunity to really see. I could barely contain my anger and sadness. My eyesight blurring with unshed tears as I looked at her marred skin. She was beautiful. Every mark on her showed how strong she was. She overcame it and is stronger for it. She might think she is weak, worthless, and destined for this bleak existence that she’s been living, but I intend to show her just how wrong she is.

I could not help but touch her. I felt her body’s reaction to my simple touch. Grazing her scar lightly. I know she feels the mate bond. She knows we are mates. Why is she denying us? It’s breaking my heart that I might not be able to climb past those walls she built around herself. They are so high, reinforced to withstand anything.

I felt her sink into the kiss. She was so perfect. Her lips molded perfectly to mine and fire spread through my veins as she slowly moved her lips with mine. I wanted to do something, anything, to make her see how right we were together. She’s stubborn though, I’ll give her that. She pushed me away saying we can’t. I don’t get how her being a wolf changes thing. She seems to think it does.

I need to figure this out. She seems so determine that I won’t want her if I learn the entirety of her past life. She’s afraid of the past. So afraid that she would give up everything that would make her life happy, just so the other person wouldn’t have to go through it. She is selfless, but god damn infuriating.

My heart is aching watching Ember crumble apart. She’s been so strong for so long. For years I bet she hasn’t let her emotions out. She can’t keep them in forever and now it seems like today is when she truly breaks. The other day on the mountain was nothing compared to this. I had watched her as a panic attack seized her body. She was gasping for breath and retching while she sobbed her heart out.

She seemed absolute. She had squared her shoulders as if her next words would bring her to the end. I used to be a wolf.

“What happened, Em? How did you lose your wolf? What happened to make you so afraid to accept something good in your life? To accept me, us. You’re willing to throw away the chance of having love, a family, companionship because of what? That the past will catch up to you?! I will always be by your side. I will always love and care for you regardless of what happens or happened. You can say you don’t want me. You can say you want to live alone for the rest of your life. But I call bullshit. You don’t want this. This is not a life. You used to be a wolf Ember. We crave companionship. Even if you no longer have a wolf, I bet you still miss being in a pack.” She stared at me, wide eyes as tears leaked down her cheeks. ” You can push me away all you want. You can never speak to me again. You can run away if it pleases you. But I will always be there. If you run, I will follow. If you are silent, I will continue to talk to you. If you push me away, I will fight to be back next to you. Whatever you think is best for me, isn’t. I want you. Don’t I get a say in this decision? You would walk away and not even give me a chance?” I shook my head as I walked closer to her. I grabbed her cheeks with both hands as I stared right into her eyes before continuing.

“You are mine. I am never leaving you no matter what. You can try to avoid me as much as you want but I’m not leaving. This is it. Forever. So, you can either choose to work things out and finally have a chance at being happy or you can ignore me. But I’m not leaving. You’re stuck with me no matter what.” She looked surprised by my admission. Her eyes searching mine for any hint of a lie, but she found none.