Wildling

~~~Jaxson’s POV~~~

I watched as Ember’s face scrunched up as she closed her eyes and covered her mouth with her hand, a sob escaping her.

“Don’t you want a family? Pups?” My heart plummeted as she whispered her words in despair. “I can never give you that Jaxson.” She looked up into my eyes. I could see how heartbroken she was. She was pleading with me to just let her be, to give up. This is bad. “We could never have a family.”

My heart sank and my hope dashed. She looked broken like she had given up. Her eyes glazed over as she zoned out then all of a sudden, her face contorted into anger and she started pacing.

“He stole that from me. He obliterated my insides so that I could never feel a child growing inside my womb. He took away my chance at a future family!” She screamed in agony. “Why couldn’t he have just killed me!”

She hunched over as sobs wracked her body. I quickly drew her into my arms, holding tight, preventing her from collapsing.

“Who did this Ember.” I growled out, Ares beginning to overpower me. “Give me a name. Tell me what happened.” She shook her head muttering ‘I can’t’ under her breath.

“You don’t want me Jaxson. I’m broken. I’m so broken I’ll only drag you down with me.” She sounded so exhausted. I was hurting for her. For whatever she went through that made her so untrusting of the future. I don’t know how to make this better. I don’t know the right words to say to make her believe she is worth everything in this world.

“You aren’t broken. I don’t need any of that Ember. You are my family now. If you can’t have children, we could always adopt. There are always options. And if not, it can just be me and you. I can’t live without you, I won’t. I’m not walking away from you just because you told me these things. You need to bring your mind out of the past, Em. It’s not the future you’re afraid of. It’s the fear that the past will repeat itself that haunts you. I will be by your side and I will never let anything happen to you again. We have a future, Em. You have a future, one where you can be happy.” I continued rubbed her back in small circles, hoping to sooth her. This has really been an emotionally draining day.

I continued my ministrations as I felt Ember slowly relax against my chest. Her sobs calming to faint sniffles. I could tell she was falling asleep, her panic attack and the tension from the situation wearing down on her body as she was pulled into the depths of sleep. I’m hoping and praying that she doesn’t have nightmares tonight. She really can’t take much more.

I gently picked her up once I heard her breathing and heart rate even out. I walked over to the bed and carefully laid her down, pulling the covers over her. I gently cleaned and dressed her wound before leaving her to sleep.

I let Accalia out and went to search for some food I could feed her. I remembered Ember had some sort of food cellar around back where I found more venison. Accalia followed me back into the cabin where I gave her a deer leg. She happily snatched it from my hand and retreated to a corner, gnawing on the meat. I grabbed my cell from my duffle, turning it on while I walked back to the bed. I don’t have a way of charging it so I will need to use it sparingly. I decided to text Sean. I needed help.

J- Hey man. Things went haywire. We were ambushed by hunters and I had to shift in from of Ember.

S- Shit are you guys ok? How did she react?

J- It’s really complicated but short answer is she took it very well.

S- And the long answer?

J- Well she knew what I was and that we were mates. She had known the whole time.

S- What?! How is that possible? Is she a spy or something?

J- She used to be a wolf. Idk how she lost her wolf but.... damn man it has been a hell of a day. I thought she was going to reject me. She had a panic attack and has basically been sobbing since we got back because she thinks she doesn’t deserve me. She told me her past would catch up to her, that she was so broken she would drag me down. I felt so useless man, I couldn’t think of any words to make it better. She has been through tough shit and I don’t even know the whole story.

S- Jeez. She didn’t tell you how she lost her wolf? That doesn’t happen often. Pretty much the only way is massive doses of wolfsbane over a long period of time.

J- She’s been tortured by someone, I know that. Her back… dude it is COVERED in scars. They look like whip marks.

S- Damn.

J- She was determined to let me go. She was trying to make me leave. She told me she was impure. I’m not sure if it’s true or if she was just trying to make me angry. But then she went off on a tangent about how she can’t give me pups. How he destroyed her inside so that she could never bear children. She wouldn’t tell me who.

S- I can’t imagine what she went through. I’m so sorry man. But you know there are always options. Adoption or even a human surrogate.

J- That’s what I told her. I also told her she can push me away all she wants but I’m not going anywhere.

S- Good. Proud of you man. So, what can I do to help?

J- I was hoping to borrow your mate. She needs to talk to someone who has been through similar shit. I also don’t know how long this will take so idk when I’ll be back. I’m not coming back without her.

S- Sure man. I’ll tell Ash to start packing. I’m coming too. Just for a day. I want to meet this little spitfire. We will be there in two days. I have some stuff to take care of first.

J- Thanks man. Appreciate it! She doesn’t have electricity here so I can’t keep my phone on. I’ll turn it back on the day you should be arriving. You shouldn’t have many problems finding it if you follow the directions, I told you earlier. Just watch for hunters! I’ve been ambushed twice now.

S- Sounds good man. See you soon.

J- Later.

I turned my phone back off, slipping off my shirt and shorts so I was only in my boxers. I climbed into bed next to Em and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her back against my chest.

I sighed in content as I felt her warm body next to mine. No matter what, I’m not giving her up.