Where I Belong

Huh?

"You have to have sex to get pregnant Jared and that's not something I've done in a while. I need to get something to clean-..."

"Leave it I'll get it" He said cutting me off "Go get some rest I'll see you in the morning".

And that's exactly what I did. I curled myself into a ball in the middle of his bed surrounded by his smell, surrounded by everything that was him and I knew it was probably the biggest mistake ever. The next morning I was sitting trying to get through breakfast without spewing it back up, the smell was bad enough. Not being able to stand it anymore I pushed my plate away and stuck to my coffee. "Eat that breakfast you're getting to thin" Loved how my dad just says it how it is. "And get some bloody trousers on church is in 10 minutes. Those fuckers aren't getting the chance to ogle you". Rolling my eyes I gave his back the middle finger. I didn't move but when the guys came through the door laughing and joking I found myself getting a little nervous.

"You don't speak to her, you don't look at her you got that?".

What the hell?!

Turning my head I noticed Jared with two younger guys that looked terrified. Ah these must be the new prospects. Watching as he smacked one of them on the side of the head I bit my lip. "Told you not to look at her you little shit".

I think his bottom lip was trembling.

"You think I'm scary wait until you meet her man" He growled. "And you get some bloody trousers on" He hissed ruffling up my hair as he walked past. Seriously I had reasonably longer shorts on I wasn't exactly sitting with my ass hanging out.

"He's scary but he's got a good heart. I'm Ava and you are?" I asked getting to my feet. None of them would look at me they were looking behind me. "J-josh and he's Luke" the slightly taller and scrawnier one whispered "Please don't tell him we spoke to you."

"Don't worry I won't" I winked leaving them both with a panicked look on their face.

I must have spent at least an hour in the bath and when I did finally decide to get out my skin was like a prune. Wrapping a towel around my body I headed back to the room. I didn't have to work today so I planned on spending a day treating myself. I never was one for doing it but seeing as I had all this free time on my hands it was time I started looking after myself. Opening up his closet I knew I still had clothes in here from the last time we stayed.

Once I was ready and comfortable I gave myself a once over in the mirror and smiled. For once I felt good. Church was still ongoing so instead of rushing out without any notice I left a note sticking it to a bottle of Jack. Pulling up outside the salon I ran my fingers through my long blonde hair. Yeah it was definitely time to get rid.

I knew they were cops as soon as I pulled into my drive way. Sitting across the street in an unmarked car. Did they think I was stupid?! Lifting my bags from the back seat I continued on my way pretending I didn't notice them. "Miss Mendez?"

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Feeling my shoulders sag I turned to face them "I still haven't heard from or seen him". I don't know what they were expecting me to do and even if I was in contact with him I would never rat him out. I had a really good day by myself and something told me whatever they wanted was going to ruin that.

"Another dead body here in NewYork Miss Mendez. He's here you can't tell me you didn't know that".

I froze!! He was back? No this couldn't be him he said he wasn't coming back. "H-he's back?" Cursing myself mentally for stuttering I gripped my bag tighter. I needed to sit down he couldn't be back he wouldn't come back it must be someone else. Sitting on the steps outside my front door I buried my head in my hands.

"How many more times are you going to show up? My work first and now my house?" Getting to my feet I opened my door "I told you already I haven't seen nor heard from him so can you please leave me alone" Slamming the door shut behind me I slid down it. Was I ever going to stop thinking about him?

He wasn't here, he was gone and I was never going to see him again!!!

4 months later....

14 hour shifts seemed to be the only highlight in my life right now. Collapsing into my couch a groan fell from my lips when I heard them coming through the back door. It had been a regular thing now that Jared and sometimes Cage would drop by.

"Have you eaten?" Jared asked twisting the cap off a beer bottle and bringing it to his lips.

"I've ate yes" This was my routine now. Every time I finished a shift they would drop by like clockwork. I knew they were always going to look out for me and I appreciated that. The last couple of months I hadn't had any trouble. No threats, no police and lastly I still hadn't heard from Blaze. He really had cut me out of his life like I was nothing. The number I had for him was disconnected and I gave up on him ever contacting me again about a month ago.

"And how long ago did you eat something?"

"Jared" I sighed "You guys don't have to keep doing this, really I'm actually doing good" I smiled but I knew he didn't believe a word I said. I still had bad days, I still cried myself to sleep at times but I was getting there I was finally starting to become myself again.

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"Tough shit sweetheart because I'll always be checking up on you" He grinned causing me to roll my eyes.

"You spoke to Ally recently?" Cage piped up "She misses you".

I hadn't seen Ally in what seemed like forever. I was dealing with my shit and she was letting me get on with it and honestly I was glad. I missed her like crazy and definitely needed to catch up.

"I haven't we're on different shifts right now so I haven't really had the time. I miss her too" I smiled.

"Good because she's coming over tonight after her shift. I've stocked your fridge with wine and there's snacks in the pantry. A girls night is exactly what the two of you need".

Okay what the hell had happened to Cage and he brought snacks that he hadn't actually ate yet!!

"Do you maybe want to ask Ally for your dick back?" Jared asked causing me to burst into a fit of laughter.

"Fuck you" He growled storming his way into the kitchen. I knew he had left when the back door slammed shut.

"Boys whipped" Jared smirked pulling out a smoke "You mind? I've noticed you aren't smoking anymore"He asked.

There was a reason I wasn't smoking anymore and not one person knew about it!!

"Backdoor please" Swinging my legs down off my couch I got to my feet. "Did you bring any food with you? I could murder some fries right now".