Where I Belong

"What's happened?" I asked knowing she was ready to blurt everything out. You bottle so much stuff up inside that one day enough is enough and you can't take it anymore.

"I haven't heard from him Ava. He hasn't called he hasn't texted heck I don't even know where he is. I know I say it annoys me when he calls me all the time but truth is it makes me feel safe and lets me know he's okay but I don't know is he's safe Ava. He could be dead for all I know especially with everything going on" She cried tears falling from her eyes. "I need to know he's safe".

Moving closer I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer to me. "He'll be okay Ally he's not stupid and I'm sure he'll turn up when he's knows he can". I had no idea what to say to her. She was the one that always gave me the advice, I sucked at it.

"One text Ava that's all I need. I'm going out of my mind thinking something bad has happened to him". Sobbing into my chest I could feel my own eyes start to water. She was my best friend and I didn't like it when she was upset. As she pulled back I wiped my eyes as she poured herself another drink.

"He'll be fine Ally you've just got to give him time and please try and not worry about him to much and that" I said swiping the bottle of whiskey away from her "Is not going to make you feel any better".

"You're right" Pushing the glass away from her. "I don't know what I'd do without you A". She croaked giving me a half smile.

Hearing the clubhouse door swing open diverted my attention. Feeling my mouth fall open slightly I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip at the sight of him. Old dirty denim jeans that were covered in oil, bare chested, his hair in a man bun and the beard that he had yet to shave.

What the hell was he trying to do to me?

Blaze was the definition of a mans man. Rough and ready. As I openly stared at him I couldn't stop the little moan that fell from my lips.

"Did you just....."

"Huh?" I whispered now feeling slightly embarrassed that I was getting all hot and bothered while staring at my boyfriend while my best friend was sitting here upset. What the fuck is wrong with me? Giggling she pushed my shoulder "Guessing you haven't jumped on that yet?".

Peeling my eyes away from him as he disappeared into the bar I glanced at Ally. "What did you say?" I asked

"You need to get laid Ava, jump on that dick heck let him do all the work until you're better but for the love of god fuck that fine piece of ass before you end up having an orgasm just by looking at him".

"Say it like it is" I laughed "He wants to take me on a date but I don't want to until my casts are off".

"Like a date date?" She smirked

"Yes so I want to impress him and I can't do that with these on" I sighed "He's only ever seen me dressed up once and even then I wasn't exactly at my best. Everything is perfect right now so when we do go out I want him to be proud to have me on his arm. I want him to be proud that I'm his old lady".

"Are you on drugs?" She asked

"What? Why would you say that?"

"You're gorgeous Ava and Blaze loves you everyone can see it. You could put on a bin bag and he'd still think you're perfect. Seriously what goes on in that head of yours? Of course he's proud to have you and he's one lucky son of a bitch. You are the strongest most loyal person I've ever met".

Yep she got me crying.

"Everyone has insecurities Ally and I know he loves me but I still want to be able to take his breath away. Is that stupid?" I whispered

"Ava why are you crying?"He growled

Great...

Wiping at my eyes I smiled at him "No reason how's the bike going?"

"I'll leave you too it" Leaning in she wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me tight "You have nothing to worry about".

"Bye Blaze and if he contacts you will you let me know?".

Nodding his head his eyes never left mine "Gonna tell me what's up? I don't like to see you cry".

"I'm alr-...."

"Bullshit Ava" Cutting me off he started to pace up and down. "I can't fix it if you don't tell me what's going on. You don't cry for nothing baby".

"Me and Ally were talking stuff got said and I started to cry and before you lose it she didn't say anything bad. It's not a big deal Blaze honestly I'm fine".

"I know you're not and I know something is bothering you. I just wish you would tell me what's going on in that little mind of yours".

"I don't want to go on a date until my casts are off. I want to be able to impress you and I can't when these are still on".

"Baby please don't tell me that's what you were upset about?" He asked taking a seat beside me. "How many times do I have to tell you you're perfect before you start believing me?"

"Everyone has insecurities Blaze and I'm no different" Now I felt stupid and I didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"Tell me what your insecure about? Don't give me that look Ava, if something is bothering you or worrying you then I sure as hell want to know. You're my girl and I hate seeing you like this. I know when something's up baby but it kills me that you don't think you can talk to me". Sighing he got to his feet, heading towards the bar he got himself a beer.

What was the point in keeping it from him? I knew I was stupid to think it but I couldn't help it. "I want you to be proud that I'm your old lady, I want you to be proud that I'm on your arm. I want to be able to take your breath away and I want you to think 'fuck is she really mine' every time you look at me. I need to know that you feel exactly the same way I do when I look at you or when I'm with you. I know it's stupid but you wanted to know what was going on in my head well there you have it".

His back was to me so I couldn't read his expressions, couldn't see what he was thinking. I guess I had the insecurity that he would ditch me as soon as something better came a long, someone younger when I get older. I knew I was being daft but I couldn't stop everything that was going on in my head. We were getting on so good right now and I was seeing a side to him that he only let me peek at a few times. Was I thinking too much? Probably but I was after all a girl and when we fall we fall hard.

"You have no fucking idea do you?"

Snapping out of my thoughts I watched him as he made his way towards me. "I've been in love with you since the first time I laid eyes on you all them years ago. I knew from the start that one day I'd make you my wife. I don't know how many times you want me to tell you how much I love you, how much I care about you and to finally have you as mine fuck baby everything is going right for me for once. Do you know how hard it was for me to ride back and forth and not once talk to you? To never approach you or batter every little fucker that spoke to you?!".

"Blaze I'm-...."

Let me finish" He said lighting up a cigarette "I've never felt like this Ava not once, you make me feel things the guys would rip me for. I have a reputation baby and you know it's not a good one but you see the good in me you bring the good out in me. To have someone like you, someone so beautiful and strong as my girl fuck Ava I'm the luckiest guy alive. I worship you darlin' I'm thankful everyday to be blessed with you. God I sound like a fucking pansy, if the guys could hear me now...."

Laughing I wiped away my tears "Fuck the guys and fuck everyone else" Grabbing a hold of his belt I pulled him closer to me. "You have no idea how much that means to me. I appreciate everything you do for me now give me a kiss". "Look at you getting all demanding" He smirked leaning in closer but not close enough. "Would you like your surprise now?" He whispered making the hairs on the back of my neck standing up.

Trailing my fingers up his bare chest I could feel his muscles tightening. "We - we need to behave" I stuttered finding it hard to concentrate when he was sucking on my neck.

Sighing he pulled away from my neck and placed a kiss on my lips. "I'm going for a shower you be okay here?"

"Yeah".

Watching him walk away I knew straight away that he was getting frustrated. The longer I put it off the harder it seemed to get but I didn't want to have sex until I had the proper use of my hand and leg again. Deep down I knew he understood that but it still bothered me that I couldn't give him what he obviously needed.

But if he loves me he'll wait... right?

"VP about?".....

I really needed to stop going off in a world of my own. I didn't even hear Jared come in.

"He's in the shower" Jared wasn't exactly my favourite person but I knew all in all he wasn't a bad guy we just got off on the wrong foot.

"How long till they come off?" He asked nodding towards my leg.

"13 days and counting" I grinned as he grabbed himself a beer and took the chair opposite me. He was trying to make conversation so I was going to be nice. Was it weird that I felt a little awkward?!