Way of the Wolf: Redemption

I sat on damp grass, fidgeting with the sleeves of my dress and giving away to everyone how uncomfortable I was. It was still early in the morning and breakfast was being cooked across from me. Bjarke sat on the log behind me, running a comb through my hair and I hissed every time it snagged in a knot.

We were no longer hiding at the edges of the camp to keep me out of everyone's way. Today, the Beta had forced me to sit where the high ranked sat; somewhere I was sure I wasn't meant to sit but so far, nobody had questioned it. Most wolves were still in bed but I dreaded their reaction when they saw us. The idea of having to eat so close to the Alpha pair had me on edge too.

"Will you sit still, Freydis," Bjarke huffed as he once more had to untangle the comb from my hair.

I bristled at the use of the name which sent the Beta grumbling again. I'd demanded to do brush my hair myself, I wasn't a pup, but he'd insisted and I'd promised to obey. Going back to picking at the stitching on my sleeve, I tried to still myself enough for him to finish.

After a few more mutters and curses, he finally finished, running his fingers through it. I leaned back a little, feeling a purr build in my chest.

"There. That's better. Shall I braid it for you?" he offered, already separating my hair into sections. "I can't promise it'll be anywhere near as Aljana's but it'll keep it out of the way and maybe we won't have to brush it so much."

"I don't mind," I mumbled. The truth was, I did want him to. I liked the feeling of fingers in my hair and how soothing it was now it wasn't a mess.

While he got to work, his touch gentler now, I watched the pack begin to wake. Pups had no care for how early it was and were already squealing and laughing as their parents walked them to breakfast. I kept my gaze steady when they looked our way. Much to my surprise, it was more curiosity than anger in their expressions when they took on that I was sitting with the high ranked now.

Wolves I recognised from the group who'd surrounded me yesterday walked with their heads down. In their fur, tails would be tucked between legs. Bjarke stilled behind me, eyeing each one with a low growl that vibrated through me. It was just a reminder for them not to challenge him and they kept their distance. With more of the pack arriving, I was beginning to feel unsettled again. Bjarke tied a leather cord at the end of my braid that was indeed a little messy, and that became my new focus. It would be best to make myself as insignificant as possible now.

The braid was pulled over my shoulder and a sharp tug brought my chin up. The Beta loomed over me with a stern look and he leaned down at my ear to whisper, "I'm going to get our food. Don't growl at anyone while I'm gone and. . . don't lower your head. This is your place now, show them that."

He released my hair, watching me to make sure I'd understood. My shoulders tensed as he left me alone and a sense of panic took over when I spotted the Alpha pair coming to take their seats. More than anything, I wanted to tuck tail too. Despite having been placed in this spot by the Beta, I was prepared for the Alpha to demand I move.

They sat side by side on the bench behind me and my back tingled with awareness. I tried to ignore it, especially as the last of the pack arrived. Every instinct screamed at me to lower my head and curl up but I couldn't, as if the Beta's orders had overridden my own senses.

"Your hair looks very nice," Alpha Female Signy complimented. "Doesn't it Jakkon?"

Alpha Jakkon grunted as I peered over my shoulder at them and I pulled the braid into my hands. "Bjarke did it."

That caught the Alpha's attention. Blue eyes looked up from his food, flicking from me to where his Beta was making his way back over. When the alpha looked back at me again, he was frowning.

"He's taking good care of you," he finally grumbled, going back to eating his food but his gaze was far off, deep in thought.

More riddles I didn't understand. They seemed to dissect every little thing I said until they knew what I meant and I was no longer sure. I was a little happier when Bjarke took his place on the bench behind me. I was left sitting on the grass but I was more than happy to stay there. A tug on my shoulder guided me to shift to face him, not quite giving the rest of the pack my back. There was only one bowl in the Beta's hand and my nose scrunched when I realised he intended for us to share.

Still, when he fed me, I didn't complain or grumble like usual. I ate in silence while Bjarke spoke to the Alpha about what needed done today. I was more than happy to ignore them and watch the waterfall in the distance. The air was getting colder, a sure sign that we were in the throes of Autumn. Orin and Fenna were mentioned again, they'd be on their way back soon. I hadn't exactly made a good first impression with them but when had I ever really cared about that?

I'd be gone before Winter came.

Recognising the rhythmic thump of a staff, I lifted my head to see Sol approaching. There was a basket slung over one shoulder but I didn't greet him with the same smile he offered me. I was wary of him and his tricks now. Though I was slightly disappointed I wouldn't learn more about the art of tattooing, I knew it was better to stay away from him. Even Bjarke stopped whatever conversation he was having to growl at the old male.

"Have we missed something?" Alpha Jakkon asked.

A strong hand on my shoulder softened my hackles a little. Bjarke's voice was tight as he grit out, "He showed her the cave."

The Alpha was up and in front of Sol in the blink of an eye and the growl that tore from his chest silenced even the birds. I froze, feeling the trembling start up again as I scooted back in fear; even if the Alpha's anger wasn't directed at me. Bjarke pulled me up off the ground and onto his lap and though I wriggled a little, I felt safer.

"Was that on your orders my mate?" Alpha Jakkon asked without glancing once at the female next to me.

"No, it was not," she snapped, standing too. "She would have seen it eventually. If you're worried, it's because you fear it'll reveal the truth."

"There is no truth. You will both cease your meddling." The Alpha's words were final, filled with the power of his position. But Sol was an Alpha once, did such demands work on him?

"My apologies, I only showed her what I thought she should see. It's done now. I have berries I need to collect, I could use her help," Sol stated, looking over Jakkon's shoulder to where I sat cowering.

"She can't walk as far as you'll need to find your berries," Bjarke answered. "And I don't think it is good for her to spend time with you right now. She will stay with me today. Dirk can lead the hunt and I will take his place preparing the meat."

Despite the small part of me that bristled at once more feeling like a pup between adults, I was grateful. I didn't want to be alone with Sol ever again. He'd frightened me. Or at least, whatever he'd shown me had frightened me.

When the old wolf didn't look like he was going to back down, I was set on the log and Bjarke stood. He puffed himself up, daring the male to question him. Alpha Female Signy slowly moved closer to me, one hand on the hilt of her blade that was strapped to her belt. Bjarke would win if it came to a fight, I had no doubt about that, and the old male sighed heavily.

"You take her then, Beta. She'll come to me on her own eventually," Sol said, smiling at me before he turned and went on his way.

The tension melted and Bjarke relaxed. Alpha Jakkon patted his shoulder, the pair sharing quiet words not meant for me to hear.

Signy helped me to my feet, her hand cupping my cheek as her gaze scanned my face. "Are you alright?"

"Should I fear him, or you?" I asked, stepping out of her reach. "You all seem to know something I don't."

Her hand fell to her side, a small flicker of hurt showing in her eyes. The Alpha came to her side, Bjarke stepping up behind me.

"My mate and I need to talk," Alpha Jakkon said, pulling her into his arms.

She shoved him away, poking a finger into his chest. "I do not wish to talk to you until you've seen sense."

Even I flinched at the venom in her tone and Bjarke gently tugged me away to give the pair privacy. He led me over to one of the tables that had been dragged out from somewhere and motioned for me to sit. I hesitated, eyeing the other wolves that stopped working when they noticed me.

A push against my back and I made a point of sitting at the far end of the table, far from any of them. Bjarke chuckled but when I turned to glare, he was walking away. My fingers curled into my dress, noting that it was in need of a clean. As was I again. I sat and fidgeted, doing my best to ignore the sidelong glances and whispered words, keeping my head up like Bjarke had told me.

He returned with an array of knives and two rabbits. That perked up my wolf. I licked my lips, following them as they were placed on the table in front of me. Bjarke sat, smirking at my ravenous gaze.

"They aren't for eating yet. I'm going to teach you to skin and gut them so they can be cooked," he explained, pulling a rabbit in front of him.

I scrunched my nose. They looked ready to eat to me. I'd never done this before and as I glanced up the table, everyone was making quick work. I recognised the brown haired male at the top of the table, Hagan, the one who's led the fight against me the day before. He was busy with a small deer that had a mangled leg. Each slice of the knife was quick and clean.

Bjarke shifted, as he spoke. "We'll do it together so you can watch me."

I still wasn't sure, even less so when he held out a knife for me to take. At first, I thought it might have been some sort of joke.

"You're going to let me use that?" I gave him a sceptical look before eyeing the knife he held out for me again. It was sharp, glinting in the sun.

He laughed and tipped his head. "Do you have plans to stab me with it?"

I shook my head. Not currently, at least. I was still in no shape to fight or flee. Perhaps it would be good to learn what he was offering to teach me.

"Then take it. You should learn how to do this, it's important." He took my hand and placed the knife in it, giving me a smile of absolute trust.

After making sure he definitely wasn't playing a strange trick, I reached out for the other rabbit that was killed far more cleanly that anything I could do. There didn't seem to be a mark on it and I frowned, flipping it over to check the other side. If I didn't think I'd get teased, I'd have asked how they managed it.

Bjarke coughed for my attention and then proceeded to show me where best to slice in to remove the fur. I cringed as he began to tear it off to reveal the pink skin beneath. He spoke while he worked, talking me through each stage. When he sliced the belly open, my skin shifted with the presence of my wolf again. The sight of a fresh kill, the smell of blood and meat, it called to more feral instincts.

Brown eyes flicked up to my face and I knew he could sense my struggle. I hadn't run in fur in so long. Too long. But I was still stuck in useless skin until the healer deemed it safe enough that I wouldn't permanently damage bones.

A soft growl from him demanded my fur back down but it only made me more restless. I did my best to rein instincts back in. I even released the blade to show I wasn't meaning any harm.

"I can't do it," I muttered, pushing the rabbit away too.

"Of course you can," he encouraged, standing to come around to my side.

Freezing as he stood behind me, the heat of him burned into my back. He leaned forward and picked up the blade to give back to me, his own hand curling around mine which looked skeletal in comparison.

Gentle hands guided mine, helping me skin my first rabbit. Not that I really appreciated my progress when all I could think about was the feeling of a hard chest pressed against my back. Sometimes his breath would fan over my shoulder and I'd completely forget what I was supposed to be doing. It felt strange. Alarm bells were ringing in my head at being caged in with my back to a male but he kept his movements slow.

Taking my hand, he moved it to grip the grip the fir.

"Now all you have to do is pull," he instructed, his sound vibrating from his chest right through me.

I nodded, gripping the rabbit more firmly. It took more strength than I had to tear off the fur and I huffed in frustration. Another chuckle, he was always laughing at me. I dropped the rabbit in defeat and let him finish. He stayed behind me, leaning so close that his chin was practically resting on my shoulder.

"Pass me the other knife," he murmured.

Reaching over for the smaller one, I handed it to him but he shook his head. "You do it, I showed you how. Gently, we don't want anything to rupture and spill over the meet."

I made a face at that image. It shouldn't have made me feel queasy. I'd fought for scraps of guts and torn meat from bone all my life, but that was in fur. This was. . .different. Still, I took the small blade and made the cut like he'd shown me. They practically fell out, intestines and other things that looked squishy.

"There. Now we only have to do that a few more times. We can keep the furs and make you some winter clothes," Bjarke announced, grinning as he once more took his seat.

I couldn't believe this huge male sat and made clothes. The defensive side of me wanted to tell him I didn't want anything he made for me, that I didn't care for clothes, but for some reason I smiled and nodded instead. My winters were more often than not spent freezing cold and starving. I couldn't count the times I almost hadn't made it through to spring. What would it be like to have a winter where there was no struggle to survive?

But Winter would still bring with it something I dreaded. My heat. Would the Alpha give me to a male? Or would I have a choice? I eyed the tattooed and still smiling male in front of me. He'd said himself I was his charge, the Alpha had already given me to him. Would he see to my needs? Not once had he touched me inappropriately but the scent of a female in heat drove all males beyond sense.

"You've put yourself in a bad mood again," Bjarke noted, eyes on me even as he began to prepare another rabbit.

I shrugged and grabbed another too, needing an excuse to keep my head down. Something soft hit my forehead and I blinked at the rabbit foot that fell to the table. Bjarke made out like he hadn't so much as noticed and I cracked a smile. He was sillier than he let on.

Waiting until he was pulling the fur from the rabbit for me, I grabbed the foot from the table and slipped it into the pocket of my dress. A rabbit's foot was lucky, that was the only reason I wanted it.

Passing it the rabbit back, he bent down to pick up a few more for us to work on and chuckled when my face fell. My hands were already cramping and my arms aching from having to exert strength.

"We'll finish these and then take you to Madden. He might deem you well enough to shift soon and I can take you for a run, show you the territory. That'd be nice wouldn't it?" he spoke lightly, the way adults do to grumpy pups. But it did sound nice. Even just the mention of shifting had my skin prickling.

"Why are you so nice to me?" I blurted out before curling in on myself. I'd given him many reasons to hate me; I'd attacked him, bit him, scratched, growled, told him I hate him. Very rarely had he lost his temper with me.

"Throwing logs on a fire doesn't put it out," he replied. "You've only reacted how you've learned to, I can't be angry at that. Besides, you've had access to these blades all morning and you haven't stabbed me yet."

I laughed, feeling my cheeks heat up. "Yet?"

"You're unpredictable." He smirked, leaving me to believe that he didn't mind that fact.

"I guess I had to learn to be," I murmured, staring at the bloody knife in my hand.

The Beta's posture changed, his back straightening up as his eyes became more watchful. I put it down and finished gutting the rabbit, carefully tugging out guts to toss in the bucket. When we were finished, I'd need to see where the blades were kept. One could come in useful. If I still wanted to leave. . . Shaking my head, I clenched my jaw, of course I still wanted to leave.