Way of the Wolf: Redemption

Howls woke me from my sleep.

I rubbed my eyes then frowned when I found the space next to me empty. Bjarke wasn't there. That had me becoming alert and I quickly checked Basjan was still sound asleep. He was nestled into the furs, one hand clenched into a fist. Turning back to the place my mate should have left, I pressed my hand down to find the furs were still warm. He hadn't left too long ago.

Why wouldn't he have woken me?

The howls sounded up again and my heart began to pound as I remembered exactly why I'd woken up. Wolves could be sending out that signal for any number of reasons, but Valdis was at the forefront of my thoughts. Raking around in the dark, my fingers brushed over the cold bone of a dagger. I positioned myself between where my son slept and the door, ears straining to hear anything that would give away what was going on.

Minutes trailed by slowly but there was no sound of fighting or panic. A part of me wanted to investigate but I was still too terrified to leave the den, and I definitely wasn't going to leave my pup alone. Crunching in the snow and I tensed, shifting myself painfully in case I needed to defend myself. Everything still hurt but I wouldn't go down easily.

The door swung open and I breathed out in relief as my mate's face was lit up by the moonlight that streamed in. My whole body slumped as I took in his expression. He was surprised to see me awake, I noted that as I quickly looked him over. No bruises, no blood, no signs he'd exerted himself.

"Are you okay?" he asked, frowning at the dagger still in my hand.

"The howling woke me up, I thought something might be wrong," I replied, still in my defensive crouch.

"Nothing is wrong, my love," he promised, closing the door behind him.

He made his way slowly towards me like I was that skittish female he'd found months ago. With gentle hands, he took the dagger from me and guided me back to bed, tucking me under the furs. Climbing in behind me, he hooked an arm around my waist to draw me against his chest. I snuggled into him even if his skin was icy cold from being outside.

Once my racing heart had settled again and I was assured everything was as it should be, I looked over my shoulder. "Why were they howling?"

"Alpha Jakkon and Orin have returned with the last of the hunters. They were eager to see you but it's late, and I told them you need your sleep and that we would go to the hall tomorrow," he explained, rubbing up and down my side.

"Oh." It was all I could manage to get out. I already knew there was no point in arguing with him about tomorrow, it was clear in the tone he'd used.

My Beta chuckled and brushed his fingers over my pouting lips. "Don't you want to see them?"

"I do," I replied quickly, frowning a little. "I've missed them and I want them to meet Basjan. It's just. . ."

"Overwhelming?" he offered, and I nodded.

That was definitely the right word for how it felt when I thought about taking even a step outside of the den with my son.

"You'll be fine."

Distracting fingers stroked up and down my spine, trailing close to the swell of my breast. I shifted in my mate's arms, enjoying the heat his touch left. Wriggling a little, I blushed as he groaned, and then smirked when I felt the hard press of his erection against my rear. Anything to distract us both from the mess I'd become tomorrow. I couldn't even acknowledge what he'd said.

When I felt him inhale to speak, I nipped at his jaw. His entire body suddenly tensed, hands grabbing my hips to keep me still. Perhaps I could distract him enough that I could persuade him to change his mind, to give me a few more days hidden away here. A week hadn't been enough to sooth frazzled nerves.

"Enough. We can't. You're still healing," Bjarke grit out when I let my hands wander over him.

Shifting so I could turn enough to properly see his face, I let out a gentle purr. "There are other things I can do for you."

"Seductresses." He chuckled, nipping my jaw before he rolled over to give me his back. "Go to sleep."

I could hear the amusement in his voice and pouted at his back. Perhaps my hormones would take more than a few days to level out because I wanted to growl at him for denying me even though I knew he was right. As soon as Madden deemed me fit and healthy, I would have my Beta as much as I could.

Rolling over with a grin, I kept close so my back was still firmly pressed against Bjarke. The bassinet closer to me until I could hear the sound of my pup's gentle breaths. He'd slept through howling wolves, his father's return and our conversation. With everything as it should be, sleep began to pull me under again

***

Bjarke helped wrap Basjan up tight in his furs, strapping him to my front with a blanket tied behind me. I tucked him under my thick cloak as well, so worried that he'd feel the cold. I didn't want him to ever feel the cold.

"Can't we have a few more days?" I murmured, stroking my fingers over the top of the pup's head.

Despite my time to heal, I still felt incredibly weak. I refused to take the herbs for pain, I no longer liked the way they made me disconnect from the world; especially as I now had a little life that depended on me being clearheaded. Instead, Madden had made me a tea from some sort of bark but it wasn't as effective. It was a good thing pain was something I'd learnt to tolerate through life.

Bjarke slid his arm around my waist and pressed a kiss to my jaw. "Open the door, my female."

"I can't," I whispered, trying to take a step back only to bump into my mate's chest.

Outside this den was only danger. Anything could happen. I wrapped my arms around my pup, swallowing the lump of fear in my throat. Somehow I knew most of the pack would be in the hall waiting for us, waiting to see Basjan and get the chance to add their scents to his skin. That made me bristle. It was a tradition I wanted to refuse.

"What if they don't accept him?" I fretted.

"They've already accepted both of you. Nobody here will hurt you. Let's just take things one step at a time, yes?" he suggested, taking my hand in his to place against the rope to open the door. "We're just going to step outside."

I wanted to argue again but I forced myself to nod. Just a step outside, I could do that much. Tugging a little hesitantly, the door creaked as I pulled it open. Snow fluttered in and Bjarke nudged my back to get me to move.

The snow was so deep, my boot sank in and it soaked my dress, freezing my legs. I shivered as I scanned my surroundings, searching for shadows or anything out of place. My wolf was on high alert, low warning sounds rumbling out from my chest.

"Now we're just going to go for a little walk," he said casually, motioning for me to follow the path.

Another numb nod. It felt like wading water with the effort it took to take each step. When Bjarke felt I was being too slow, he'd begin nudging my back again, helping me forward. I felt a little better when we trudged into the heart of the village. We were definitely safe here.

Bjarke chuckled and pointed out the snow that had been piled together and moulded into something vaguely human shaped. Some even had cloaks or hats thrown on, and a group of pups were busy making another. One day I might be helping Basjan do the same thing, that put a smile on my face.

It wasn't until we reached the steps up to the hall that I froze once more. The doors were shut but the window shutters were propped slightly open so I could see the wolves inside. Bjarke was pressed against my back again to stop me from running.

"Now we're just going to go inside and take our seats. Nobody will bother us while we eat. I've warned Jakkon and Orin to give you some space until you get used to being here. They'll have passed that warning onto everyone else. Everything will be done at your pace, but it must be done," he stated, stroking soothingly up and down my arm.

My lips quirked up a little. "You gave your Alpha, and the heir of the pack, orders?"

"I suppose did." He chuckled, guiding me slowly up the first step.

When we reached the top, he moved in front of me so he would enter first. Once more, I wrapped my arms around my pup. Nobody would be able to see him, not until I allowed it. I was in control.

Breathing out, I took the dreaded step through the door. Warmth hit me like a wall, stinging me cheeks and I blinked against the glare of so many candles and fires. Bjarke stayed in front of me, a hand on my arm as I trailed cautiously behind him. He used his body like a shield but he couldn't hide me from everyone.

The few times I managed to look up, I caught the smiles on the faces of the pack. Some tried to catch a glimpse of the pup I held but were put in their place by growls from the top table. My father was doing as Bjarke ordered. Nobody tried to approach.

I curled one hand into the furs Bjarke wore, using it to help me forward. It didn't help that the room had gone eerily quiet. As we took our seats, conversation started up once more and I felt a little better when I was no longer the centre of attention.

Sat beside my mother again, she gently squeezed my shoulder. "You'll need to unwrap him, my female. You don't want him getting too hot."

I looked up at her and caught sight of my father trying not too inconspicuously to get a look. He smiled when his gaze met mine, giving me an encouraging nod.

"Let me see my grandson, dóttir," he urged.

But my arms wouldn't release their hold of the pup no matter how hard I tried. The walls of the hall were suddenly crushing in, all the sounds and smells overwhelming me. I had to clench my teeth to stop from growling.

Bjarke stroked his fingers over my cheek, leaning in so I could hear the rumble vibrating from his chest. Closing my eyes, I focussed on that sound and turned my head to press my nose against his shoulder. His earthy scent grounded my wolf and he kissed my forehead when I relaxed again.

I allowed my mate to ease the furs from my shoulder and blushed when he patted my bottom to get me to sit up so he could slide them beneath me, softening the hardness of the wooden bench. More tension left now there wasn't so much pressure between my legs as the pain dulled. Then he began to untie the blanket that kept the pup against my chest.

Orin was watching now too, attempting to peer around his father's huge frame but he would have to wait his turn. I'd only manage one at a time, or I'd run back to the den with no intentions of ever leaving again.

Unravelling the last of the furs until Basjan was left only in a blanket, he was finally there for anyone to see. At least he was coated in my scent, that made me feel a bit better. Everyone would know who he belonged to. Jakkon stood from the table, moving around his mate slowly, hands where I could see them. He crouched beside me, his eyes on my face instead of the pup.

"You've given him a name?" he asked.

I nodded but my tongue sat heavy in my mouth and I couldn't seem to speak. I had to though. It was part of tradition. My father reached up to cup my cheek, leaning in to greet me first. Closing my eyes as he pressed his skin against mine, I inhaled his scent. He smelt strongly of the wilds, something familiar to me.

"Basjan," I managed to say. "We've called him Basjan."

"A good name," he replied, placing a kiss to my cheek before falling back again.

I knew what came next but my arms were like a vice around the pup when my father and Alpha tried to take him from me. Bjarke nipped my jaw in gentle warning but I could feel my wolf beginning to get restless again. Instincts told me that he'd only be safe if I had him close, to snarl at the male that wanted to take him away.

"I just want to hold him The pack know to stay away for now. Give him to me and stay by my side, you can tell me off if I do something wrong." His voice took on a teasing lilt that drew a smile from me.

If only he knew that I as a mother now, I would definitely to cower from showing fangs if he did something I didn't like.

Just as Bjarke had promised, everything was being done slowly. At my place. Sort of. All I had to do was play along and it would all be over soon.

Finally, I managed to pass my son over to his grandsire. Jakkon was careful as he held the pup to his chest, nose going to the top of his head to scent him. I swallowed, terrified he might be able to see or smell something that told of who his father was but he only smiled.

"You're both alright?" he asked, blue eyes back on me, studying every inch and probably finding a few flaws. I was pale and sickly looking, I knew that. I'd seen my reflection.

"We're both alright." It was almost the truth and it made his smile brighten all the more.

Now I was more at ease, Jakkon felt safe enough to stand, putting a little unnerving distance between myself and my pup. Bjarke urged me to my feet, a hand on my hip to steady me.

Orin was beginning to rise too, a rare grin on his face. Fenna was trying to keep him still, her expression stern as she whispered at his ear. Mismatched eyes flew to me and he immediately stilled as if he could see the tremors wracking through me. I wasn't ready for him yet. He slumped back into the bench with an almost pout but he respected my needs.

One of my hands stayed on my father's arm, fingers stretched out so they touched my pup's bare leg that stuck out the blanket.

He swayed the pup gently, adoration in his eyes. "Signy says you've seen his wolf already."

"Yes. He's strong," I mused, unable to help but smile again.

"Of course he's strong. He's your son."

I laughed a little at that. His strength didn't come from me, more likely from him, but I didn't say so out loud.

My father kept the pup to himself for a while longer, asking me a few more questions about his health, and mine. He'd been worried about me. As any father would about their daughter, but I assured him I once more that I really was okay. I still felt shaky and emotional, but the pain had lessened.

My brother shifting impatiently caught my attention. Fenna looked just as eager but she remained in more control of herself than her mate. I reminded myself that neither would hurt Basjan, we were all family. Only when I gave a jerky nod did the pair get up to see their nephew. I wondered if Fenna had told Orin she'd already met him.

Like Jakkon, they moved slowly, purposefully. My eyes raked over them with a small glimpse of fangs just in case.

Orin opened his arms even though I was sure he'd have rather grabbed me and pulled me to him. He hesitated in front of me as my eyes filled with tears and I surprised us both when I almost jumped on him. He held me tight but I hugged him back even tighter.

"I told you that you would both survive, sister," he murmured. He was trying to joke but his voice was strangled with emotion. For all Jakkon and Orin knew, I could have died by the time they got back. For a while, I think even Bjarke and Signy believed that too.

"I will listen to you in future," I promised, inhaling his scent. The only scent I really recognised from before becoming lost. "Come meet your nephew."

He nodded, stepping forward as Jakkon held the pup for Orin and Fenna to see. My hands clenched by my sides as they both reached out to touch, adding their scents to his skin. So many scents on him now that my own marker was fading. I glanced up to see a soft smile on my brother's face and he met my gaze with such pride that my heart clenched.

"He looks so much like you," he breathed, as if amazed.

I chuckled and shook my head. "No, I think he looks more like you and father."

"I think so too," Fenna agreed, something akin to longing in her expression that became stronger when my son gripped her finger tight. "Can I hold him?"

I wanted to say no. I was struggling enough with my father holding him, but something in her eyes had me nodding instead. She'd already held him, I reminded myself. Her holding him in the safety of our den was no different to here. Slipping her finger from Basjan's little hand, she scooped him into her arms and Orin immediately crowded her.

I went to step forward, another growl building in my chest but my father placed a calming hand my shoulder at the same time as Bjarke placed a distracting kiss to my cheek. I couldn't see my pup now Orin's back was in the way but I could hear his contented gurgles as he was fawned over.

"Well done, my mate," Bjarke whispered at my ear.

This wasn't the real test though. The real test would be when Jakkon presented my son to the rest of the pack. The real test would be allowing all these wolves to scent my pup so they knew him.

My mate took my hand and it was only then I realised that I'd been picking at the skin around my nail. I squeezed his hand in thanks, especially as my self inflicted wounds began to sting. My nerves were frayed already but I glance at the hard set of my Beta's jaw told me he wasn't going to let me give in now.

"Is it my turn now?"

Fenna looked to me in question as Orin held his arms out to take his nephew. Another stiff nod from me, my heart was in my throat. Had my brother ever held a pup before? Did he know he had to be oh so gentle? Did he know he needed to support his head?

More soothing touches from my mate softened my hackles. My brother proved that he knew what he was doing though and his grin was contagious, making worries float away. Signy stood to join us all too, stepping up to give her mate a longer kiss. She went on tiptoe to murmur by her ear but I heard her words for him that warmed my soul.

Did I not tell you one day we would be standing watching our family grow, my love?

My father smiled down at her, his hand cupping her cheek and I turned away to let them have this moment. Her words repeated in my head, making me wonder if there had been a point in my father's life when he'd had doubts and insecurities. Now he stood as Alpha, Father, grandsire. . .

And I stood here now as daughter, sister, mate, and mother. Something I had never seen for myself, something that it had never once crossed my mind before to want to be. This was my family, and I loved them. Leaning into my Beta's side, I looked up at him. He was smiling as Orin and Fenna both admired our son.

"I love you," I announced, drawing brown eyes to me.

That smile got even brighter, if that was even possible. His hand slid up my back to play with strands of my hair in that way that always comforted me.

"I love you too." His voice was rough with emotion, eyes shining.

I kissed his arm then looked over my shoulder and catching my father's eyes. "I'm ready. You can introduce him now."

"Are you sure?" he asked gently, even as Orin passed Basjan back to him.

"I'm sure." Sliding my hand into Bjarke's, I gripped it tight.