Way of the Wolf: Redemption

Bjarke squeezed my hand gently then led me round the table to stand before the pack. My parents came to stand next to us, Orin and Fenna falling into place too. A quiet fell over the hall, wolves twisting in their seats or standing so they could all see the pup that wriggled in their Alpha's arms.

My fingers twitched, every bone in my body wanting to take my son back and keep him hidden. Bjarke kept me steady though, a comforting presence next to me with his arms folded over his chest, chin up and eyes watchful. He was an intimidating sight. And he was making sure the rest of the pack knew their places. They needed to show respect, or I doubted it would be me putting an end to this but my mate.

Alpha Jakkon stepped forward, fainting everyone's attention. He rocked his arms a little, smiling down at his grandson before looking out at his wolves.

"I present to pack the son of your Beta pair, my grandson, Basjan," Jakkon announced, his voice echoing around us. "May he grow to stand with us, hunt with us, fight with us, and join us when we howl as one."

I jumped when his words were followed by a mix of tribal calls and howling that shook the walls. Even the pups joined in, banging their fists on the table to add to the cacophony of noise. The pack were showing their acceptance of my son and another great weight slid from my shoulders, leaving me standing taller and filled with pride.

"You can come and meet him a few at a time, don't all rush at once." My father's gaze flicked to me and I gave him a subtle nod of thanks.

As Bjarke had promised, everything had been done at my pace. I'd worried over nothing, perhaps the only part of my nightmare that had been some vision was the berries that led me to naming my son. A name Bjarke had chosen without ever voicing so to me.

Maybe now I would stop fretting over every little thing. Nothing horrible had happened, my gut instinct had been wrong. I'd put up with so much bad in my own life that perhaps it made me expect the worse.

Leaning into Bjarke's side, a small sigh of contentment slipped past my lips.

Most of the pack went back to eating, happy to wait their turn to meet the newest member of the pack. I watched the goings on with a smile now, only bristling or growling a little when too many wolves came up at once. They backed off immediately, especially as Bjarke was by my side with a sharp glare that had heads bowing. I wasn't sure if he felt overwhelmed too or if he simply didn't like that they'd upset me.

The group seemed to decide amongst themselves who would go first but stopped short at a rhythmic tap of a staff on wood. They parted to let Sol through and I frowned at the way he moved. I spent almost everyday with this male, I knew that the slow and painful way he walked wasn't being faked today. I think everyone else could sense that too but he pushed on, coming to me first.

Bright eyes took in my face, a wrinkled hand pressed against my cheek. I inhaled and something coiled tight in my belly at his scent.

Sickness clung to his pores.

His hand fell to grip mine and his voice was crackly as he spoke. "Congratulations, Freydis. You're a wonderful mother."

I beamed at that. He hadn't said going to be or will be, but you are. It made my heart sing.

"Thank you," I replied, hoping he understood I meant for so much more than simply what he said.

He smiled then patted Bjarke's arm. My Beta bowed his head, giving the old male his respect. To an outsider, it might have seemed disrespectful or cold that they shared no words, but I saw the deep meaning behind their silent actions. It told me something was wrong. Even as Sol moved to meet my son, that sour smell of a dying wolf lingered in the air.

He'd been full of life only a few days ago, what had happened between my going into labour and today?

Bjarke tugged me tighter against his side, his chest vibrating beneath the hand I placed on his chest as if to cling onto something. I only needed to look up into warm brown eyes to know the answer to my question. It was written all over his face. Sol wouldn't make it through the winter. A reminder that while new life came for some, death would always come for others.

My heart hurt, but it was held in place by the sight of Sol chuckling at my energetic pup. He brushed a finger across a rosy cheek, leaving his mark on the pup he wouldn't get to see grow. Maybe it wasn't being old and frail he'd been playing after all, maybe his shows of strength and vitality had been what he'd faked.

Swaying a little on my feet, Bjarke's arm came out to catch me. He tried to guide me back to sit at the table but I didn't want my son out of my sight, even if he was surrounded by his family.

"You need to eat, Freydis. Come and sit down," he urged, tugging me again.

I stumbled a step, then another, eyes glued to my father, and son. More gentle tugs and my legs moved without my permission. My mate got me around the table and pushed down on my shoulders to get me to sit. Nothing really appealed to me but I forced food down, watching every wolf that came into contact with Basjan who gave them toothless smiles and happy gurgles.

"He loves the attention doesn't he," Bjarke murmured.

My lips twitched. "He does, very much."

"A bit like you," he continued, smirking when I glared over at him.

"I do not like attention," I argued.

A wider smirk graced his lips and he reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "Are you sure? All those tantrums you threw on our way here, the growling and impressions of angry cats, they weren't for attention?"

The old me would have attacked him for that, or at least growled. All I could do was purse my lips at his irritating way of distracting me. His grin only grew even wider in his enjoyment.

"When you didn't have a name, I came up with my own for you, something to call you in my head," he teased further, fingers trailing down from my cheekbone to trace the line of my jaw.

"I get the impression I won't like what you came up with," I muttered. Leaning into his touch, I closed my eyes for a moment, getting lost in how rough his skin was against mine.

"Hissy."

I snorted, eyes flying open. Whether he was being serious or not, I wasn't sure but I found myself relaxing anyway, laughter making my shoulders shake.

"Hissy," I repeated on a hum. "Not growly?"

"That was a close second."

I laughed again and shook my head at him. The nickname could have been worse, I supposed. Hissy wasn't too offensive. I'd definitely expected something a little worse. Bjarke chuckled too before feeding me more food, small pieces of fruit that made his fingers sticky against my lips.

A cry from my pup had me immediately on alert and I jumped to my feet, but Jakkon was already carrying him back over to me.

"This little one is hungry," he said, carefully placing the pup in my arms. He brushed his fingers across Basjan's cheek then placed a kiss to his forehead.

"He's always hungry," I muttered, more to myself than my father who laughed.

"So were you. Always crying and fussing until your mother would come. Even as you grew, you were always looking for something to eat. The amount of times I'd scold you for stealing food. . ." He got lost in the memory, chuckling a little as he looked up at me. "I will enjoy watching you tell this one off for the same, and come to me in exasperation when he does it again."

Everyone was so teasing today, I was laughing again and my father grinned wide at the sound. He cupped my cheek, joy shining in his eyes but our moment was interrupted when Basjan grew tired of waiting to be fed. His cry was piercing, his face growing red as it scrunched. Nuzzling into my chest, he sought out his source of food.

My father patted my shoulder, guiding me back to my seat before running over to wolves that wanted his attention.

I sat down again, sliding down the shoulder of my dress so I could free a breast for Basjan. The moment his mouth found what he wanted, his cries immediately stopped, replaced my contented sounds. Smiling, I patted his bum while he fed then found myself dozing with my head rested on my mate's arm. Even though he probably had work to be doing, he stayed put, rumbling every so often between talking to those that came to speak to him.

Once Basjan was full, I sorted my dress and held him close to my chest. Perhaps we could both squeeze in a nap until Bjarke had to move. He chuckled as I nuzzled into his warmth, his arm coming around me so his hand rested on his son's back. At least half an hour slipped by before I was woken by Bjarke nudging my arm. I looked up to see Katrin standing on the other side of the table with her own pup in her arms.

"I'm going to leave Ásdís outside the hall for a while. The crib is big enough for them both," she said, smiling brightly.

I swallowed hard, eyeing the door at the other end of the hall. My mate pressed close again, his lips by my ear. "There's plenty meat to prepare for winter, I'm going to help so I'll be outside to watch over the pups. They'll never leave my sight."

"Dirk will be there too," Katrin added. "He won't let any harm come to either of them."

Bjarke smirked up at Katrin. "I hear from Dirk there are other reasons you plan on keeping our pups close together, Katrin."

My friend laughed and sat beside me, leaning over to get a peek of my son. I held myself still, allowing her to croon and brush her fingers over his cheek.

"What can I say? Fate brought these two into the world so close together I feel they must be meant for each other."

I chuckled at that. So she had plans of matchmaking, and I wasn't entirely opposed. It pleased me to know that Basjan would grow up with another, and I did hope they would be close. Whether or not they mated wasn't something I could make happen.

"What stories we could tell them when they're older to embarrass them, of how they shared a crib and and bathed together as babies," Katrin jested, tickling Ásdís belly.

"Indeed," I mused, imagining just that.

Bjarke pecked my cheek as Dirk waved him over from the door and I tilted my head up to steal a proper, breaths stealing kiss with him. He groaned low from the back of his throat, desire clear in eyes.

"I won't be too long. Try and stay inside, finish what's on your plate too," he ordered, giving me a stern look.

I nodded to placate him even though I was full, but I was sure Katrin would make sure his demand was followed. I watched him pile on his furs and make his way to Dirk, catching sight of the bassinet outside the hall by the door. Still, I wasn't sure how I felt about leaving the pups in the cold.

"Why leave them outside?" I asked curiously, smiling as Ásdís reached out at me with tiny hands.

"Fresh air is good for them, it helps them sleep too. They won't be cold, we've got plenty furs, and I promise they'll be supervised," she answered.

That much I believed. There was nothing to worry about in the heart of the pack, I repeated that again and again in my head as I forced myself to eat until Katrin was satisfied. Standing slowly, I closed my eyes against the way my body protested. Katrin stood too, offering me an arm of support despite having her pup to carry too.

My strength would build up eventually, until then I wasn't going to remain stubborn and refuse help. Not anymore. She guided me around the table, taking a little of my weight. Our progression was painfully slow but she didn't seem to mind.

Cold wind bit at me as soon as we stepped outside but Katrin didn't reconsider. She pulled back the blankets and furs to lie Ásdís down and then looked at me expectantly. Gritting my teeth, I forced myself to place Basjan next to the little female who seemed happy to have a friend join her.

Tucking them in, neither pup seemed unhappy with the cold that must have been biting at their faces. I was making a bigger fuss than either of them.

"There. They should sleep for a while if we're lucky," Katrin chirped, hands on hips. "We can check on them in a bit."

I nodded, but made no move to go back inside. My friend gave me an understanding smile and touched my shoulder to turn me to face the river. She pointed to where wolves were gathered around many tables, all of them working on the catch from the hunt. I could see my mate amongst them, in direct line of sight of the pups.

"I'm being overprotective," I mumbled.

Katrin laughed and slung an arm around my shoulder as we stepped back into the warmth of the hall. "Not at all, you're acting as every first-time mother-wolf does. I'd be more concerned if you acted any different."

"Perhaps if you'd seen how I acted with Bjarke, you would think differently. I growled at him and he warned me if I snapped, he'd snap back." My cheeks heated at that admission, then burned even more when Katrin's laughter boomed out. She grabbed onto a nearby table, swiping tears from her eyes.

"Oh, Freydis." She wheezed, struggling to compose herself until she saw my expression. Able to breathe once more, her arm wound back around me. "I attacked Dirk when Tordis was born. He went to pick her up for the first time and I wouldn't let him. It's normal, you're normal. Don't beat yourself up over it."

I blinked at her in shock. I couldn't see her attacking her mate. She was so calm and in control, I'd never seen her so much as bare her teeth at someone. In fact, the harshest I'd ever heard her speak was when she was in labour and Dirk was growling at Madden.

She smirked at me as if she knew exactly what I was thinking. Taking my hand, she patted the back then looked around.

"I finished making your fabric for some dresses while you were. . .away. Why don't we use it to make something for your pup to wear?" she suggested.

I hadn't even thought about the fact my pup would need clothes too, at least he would when he was a little older. I didn't mind using blankets to cover him for now.

"You didn't have to do that, but thank you," I replied, letting her lead over to where the loom was kept.

Katrin waved a hand as she picked up a basket. The fabrics and cloths were mostly of a dark maroon, the colour Katrin had claimed suited me so long ago. I took a seat opposite her, pulling some out to study.

"Signy helped. As did a few others. Every new mother gets something from the pack, this is your gift."

Warmth filled my chest. There was more than I'd ever need for myself in my eyes. I was happy with the two dresses I already had. Basjan would have more than enough as well. It was easy to relax into usual chores, looking up every now and again just to make sure the bassinet was still there. Katrin helped me make pair of trousers that my pup would grow into and eventually Fenna came to join us too.

Before long, more wolves felt it was safe enough to approach me, some staying just long enough to congratulate me while other decided to join us. I managed to cope for a little while but the more wolves that crowded round, the harder it was to keep my smile in place. Their voices began to grate, their touches like someone running their hand the wrong way over my fur. I tried to seem interested in meaningless gossip but I felt a growl building in my chest whenever someone leaned in too close.

Fenna was staring at me, dark eyes almost all black and all too knowing. She tried to mouth something at me but I couldn't make out what and she shook her head before slipping away, only to return with my mate who had Basjan in his arms.

I grabbed for his hand when he held it out for me, pressing myself as close to him as I could get. The smell of the outdoors clung to every inch of him and I purred in appreciation. Nobody said anything as he led me away but it wasn't until we were outside that I could breathe easier again.

"Had enough for today?" he asked quietly, a slight hint of amusement coating his tone.

A growl of annoyance rumbled up and I pushed away, snapping defensively. "I managed to be without you for-"

"Hush, my love. I was only teasing, you did well. Better than I could have asked for. You're tired, let's get you to bed," he soothed, coaxing me back towards him.

I grumbled a little, fighting down the niggling need to ask him not to treat me like I was a pup too. But the truth was, I was more than tired. I was exhausted. And going to bed sounded delightful, especially if he would be joining me. My Beta chuckled as he caught sight of my pleased smile and he patted my rear.

"I knew talk of sleep would cheer you up. If you had your way, I imagine you'd hibernate right through winter." He smirked as I rolled my eyes.

If only I could.