Way of the Wolf: Redemption

Lies. It had to be lies. More manipulation on a scale I hadn't comprehended, but it wasn't. Deep down in my soul, I knew what he'd said was true. And those closest to me had known. I suspected Signy had known from the very night she sat and asked me questions in return for food. That had been why she'd fought with her mate, he hadn't believed her. What had made him change his mind?

Frowning, my fingers brushed over my upper arm. The scar was hidden now by the sleeve of my dress but the Alpha had seen it. And I'd seen his reaction. I should have known then. I should have at least have begun to put the pieces together but I'd been so blind. He knew how I got this scar even while I couldn't remember a thing.

"You fell from the tree you watch the pups climb up when you were no more than three. A branch caught your arm on the way down. I'd know the shape of that scar anywhere," Alpha Jakkon spoke from behind me but I didn't turn to face him. I was still staring at the face of the male who claimed to be my brother.

"I don't remember that," I snapped, rubbing at my throbbing head.

"No," he agreed. "But it's true. You are my pup, there's no denying it any longer. You know this too, though you're fighting it."

My jaw clenched but I fought the urge to do just that, deny it. The words were on the tip of my tongue but I couldn't get them out, my body wouldn't let me lie to myself anymore. Orin watched me struggle with sympathy in his eyes and Bjarke began to rub my back in slow circles to sooth down my hackles.

Orin reached out to brush his fingers over my face as if making sure I was real. "I looked for you for years. Long after everyone accepted you were gone, I kept looking for you. You're my little sister, I was supposed to protect you and I didn't. I lost you, but I was determined to find you if it killed me."

"But then you gave up too," I hissed before moving out of reach of my mate. "You knew too, Beta?"

He swallowed then nodded slowly, and everything holding me together crumbled at that betrayal. He opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off with a growl.

"I don't want to hear anymore! Don't come near me, any of you!" The venom in my voice made both Orin and Bjarke step back.

At least they respected me enough to do as I asked. Why hadn't they told me all of this? Were they planning to ever tell me? Or if I hadn't overheard them, if I hadn't recognised Orin, would they have kept it a secret forever?

Glancing over my shoulder, Jakkon was holding Signy in his arms. She'd stopped crying but her eyes were red rimmed and swollen, pleading with me to listen.

She reached out a hand for me, her fingers trembling. "Frey-"

"No," I interrupted, closing my eyes and taking another few steps away from them all. "You're all liars. Secret keepers. And I wish to be left alone, I need to think."

I didn't run, but I did walk away, my legs threatening to give way. The wind blew louder, as if trying to push me back to the wolves who believed they were my family, my blood. I knew my mate was trailing me but he kept his distance. The bond felt tense and thrummed violently so I blocked it off. I heard his sharp inhale and knew it had hurt him.

I wanted privacy. I wanted to feel what I felt without him feeling it too. Stumbling over my own feet, I reached out to brace myself against the wall of my den. I hadn't even realised this was where I was headed but then again, where else did I have to go?

Pushing into the den that once made me feel safe, I made a point of slamming the door shut. I kept my body pressed against it, as if I could keep my Beta out if he really wanted to come in. Footsteps stopped outside but he made no move to force his way inside. Once I was sure he understood not to come in, I moved away.

Crumpling into the bedding, I finally let out the first sob. It shook my whole body and I heard the whine of a wolf outside. Still I didn't let him in. I curled myself around my bump, comforted a little by the knowledge my pup was with me. Tears came hard and fast no matter how many times I wiped them away. The fur beneath my cheek was soaked and my cried echoed in the dark.

Could they have made a mistake? How could I be her? How could my so called brother swear he spent his life looking for me when I'd been so close? They couldn't have tried. They'd left me behind long before Valdis had.

Wiping my face dry with my sleeve, I managed to calm down enough to take a proper breath. It was pitch black inside, and cold, so I forced myself to get up to light the fire. Before, I might have let myself freeze. Not now.

I struggled with the flint and nearly screamed in frustration when it refused to spark. My mate was just outside and it was oh so tempting to ask him to come in and help but facing him would mean facing everything else and I wasn't ready for that. So I sat in the dark.

The odd fluttering low in my belly made me smile just a little. It was as if my little pup was offering me comfort. These violent moodswings couldn't be good for either of us.

A low growl from outside and I looked towards the door with a frown. I heard a soft female voice and shuffling before there was a gentle rap against the wood.

"Freydis? It's Fenna. Can I come in?"

I didn't reply, propping my chin on my knee while noting my bump would eventually get too big for me to sit like this. An odd thought to have in that moment perhaps.

The female outside sighed but tried again anyway. There was no hiding I was here.

"I've brought you some food. Katrin told me to bring fish, she said you've been craving it recently. I also brought some chocolate from home. I had to walk here in skin to be able to carry all I wanted so please at least try some," she pleaded. "Chocolate is the best thing to eat in situations like these, trust me."

I wasn't sure what chocolate was but she sounded so genuinely concerned that my cold exterior melted. She hadn't known about all of this. She'd never lied or betrayed me, or left me behind, and if she truly didn't care, I doubted she'd be here.

"You can come in but the Beta stays outside," I called out.

She chuckled and the door creaked as it opened. I caught a small glimpse of my mate's brown wolf sitting at the door. He grumbled as Fenna slipped inside and shut the door in his face.

"There. Now it's just us females," she chirped, carefully picking her way towards me in the dark. She sat beside me, placing a plate of still warm food before me and a strange looking packet beside that. I knew the symbols on the plastic were letters but I couldn't read them.

"I'll get the fire going shall I?" She reached over for the flint and my lips pursed when it sparked and the leaves began to smoke without trouble.

Knowing I'd be scolded if I didn't, I began to pick at the fish on my plate. It tasted bland to me, but I had the feeling anything would. I didn't want to taste. I didn't know what to say to this female who was technically my sister if she was mated to my brother. She let me eat in silence, building the fire up until it crackled and lit up the den.

"This is nice, isn't it?" she noted, looking around.

I shrugged. It was more than nice to me. I'd never had a roof over my head before but Fenna had been brought up in a grand house like the humans lived in. I wondered what she made of all this. She continued on with idle chit chat, never faltering when I chose not to answer. I think she wanted to wait until I'd finished eating to discuss why she was really here. A good tactic. I lost my appetite when I got upset.

"You don't have to speak to me to fill the silence," I mumbled.

She smirked at me. "You and your brother are a lot alike you know; wolves of very few words. I've learned to hold up my end the conversation."

I gave her a watery smile in return, appreciating her effort at a joke. There was still a niggling disbelief in the revelation of my heritage. I'd always thought Signy was trying to turn me into the daughter she'd lost, could they all just be projecting that?

"If it's true, they gave up on me. I was out there and they stopped looking," I whispered, deciding to get this over with.

Fenna gave me a sad smile and reached out to take my hand. "That's why I came here. I thought there were a few things you should know before you go making any decisions. I have a story to tell. Will you listen?"

Swallowing, I contemplated whether I should. She squeezed my hand and I decided to be brave. Nodding, I gave her my full attention.

"I was travelling when I came upon a bear that attacked me. I was sure I was going to die and your brother saved my life. He wasn't like any male I'd ever met before. There was only one thing he cared about, something that put such a strain on his relationship with his parents and his pack. Finding you," she began, tugging my hand when I shook my head and began to turn away. The softness vanished from her, eyes fracturing with hints of gold as she growled at me. "You will listen because I almost lost my mate because of his desperation to either find you alive or avenge your death. Alpha Jakkon almost died because Orin left to track down your killer."

There was a growl from the wolf outside who was unhappy with the way his pregnant mate was being spoken to. Fenna sighed heavily and closed her eyes, releasing my hand to rub her face. "I'm sorry. But my greatest fear right now is that Orin is going to break. I sat and watched Signy tell him everything that happened to you and I watched him crumble, and cry, and blame himself once more. I just need you to listen and give everyone a chance. Please."

Nobody had ever begged me for anything before. I couldn't imagine a strong male like Orin breaking down as I had. Fresh tears formed and I spoke past the lump in my throat. "You said he was gone when Alpha Jakkon almost died. You're speaking about when Valdis attacked the pack's hunters?"

"Yes," she replied, watching as I choked on another sob.

"He was still looking for me even then?"

Her expression was pained and her own eyes held a sheen to them. "Yes, Freydis. He was still looking for you. Your parents and the pack scoured all of France and the surrounding countries for any trace of you for years. Surely you understand, they couldn't live like that. They had a pack to look after. You were just a pup, they were certain you couldn't have survived falling into the river. Orin told them he'd caught the scent of vampire in the area, he was supposed to be looking after you while your parents visited another Alpha. Do you remember?"

"I remember running. Something dark and foul smelling chasing me. Orin. . .my brother shouting my name. Then the creature catches me and there's so much pain like fire crawling through my veins." My hand went to my neck where the scars of that attack were still visible and ugly. "Then I remember the river, not being able to breathe . . .and nothing after that for a long time."

"There was a vampire then?" she asked, her hand finding mine again.

I shrugged helplessly. "I don't know. I don't know anything anymore."

Tears fell and I was pulled into Fenna's warm embrace. Her fingers stroked through my hair as she hushed and rocked me. At first, I recoiled but she wouldn't let me go and my need for touch won. I sank into her, breathing in her unique scent.

"I know a few things, Freydis. You have a mate who loves you, a pup on the way, a brother who would do anything to earn forgiveness for not finding you, and two parents who've watched you flourish and feared you'd hate them if you knew the truth," she stated confidently.

I mulled that over, rubbing my hand subconsciously over my bump. They'd taken me in, fed me, washed me, clothed me, encouraged me. That was why I sat where I did without question at meals. It was my birthright to be sat with the high ranked. Did the pack know who I was, was that why none of them challenged my place? I'd heard the stories about the mighty Fenna who'd fought her way to up the ranks to stand by her mate's side, I'd never had to fight for food. Especially now I was pregnant. I'd not proved myself like this she-wolf had.

She took my frown for disbelief and not any feelings of unworthiness. "If you think about it, Orin did find you."

"Bjarke found me," I snapped back. She chuckled at my defensiveness and bowed her head in agreement.

"True, he did. That's maybe another reason my mate is so upset. He's also feeling a little defensive over the fact his friend took his little sister as a mate before he knew who she was," she joked. "How Signy managed to stop Jakkon attacking his Beta is another mystery."

That did gain a real smile from me. So that had been why Orin attacked my Beta. Despite not having seen me in decades, he was still willing to protect his little sister.

"I don't know what to do," I admitted brokenly, too worn out to even cry anymore.

"Do nothing tonight. Get some rest, take some time to come to terms with it all, then act tomorrow," Fenna suggested. "If you don't want to speak to anyone, I'll keep them away. If you do, it doesn't have to be a grand speech."

I nodded. She was right, I didn't have to come up with anything to say. Frowning, I realised I'd been so cruel to Signy for treating me like a daughter when I had been all along. I'd practically disowned her in front of all the pack and all she'd done was laugh.

"I better get back to my mate. He's getting restless again. Please just give them all a chance." The female squeezed my hand as she got to her feet and then looked a little longingly at the chocolate.

Tearing it open, I broke a bit off for her but my mouth was watering at the sweet smell of it and I ended up eating it myself. I moaned, eyes falling shut as the treat melted in my mouth. Fenna laughed and patted the top of my head. "Enjoy while stocks last. Your brother hates the stuff."

I stared at her, eyebrow arched. How could he possible hate this? I thought the way they cooked meats here was the best thing I'd ever eaten but I'd definitely changed my mind now. When Fenna reached the door, she turned back.

"Your mate is still out there. Is there anything you want me to say to him?" she offered, opening the door enough that I could see his fur.

He'd lied and kept things from me too and that hurt, but I couldn't leave him out in the cold. "Tell him he can come in."

"On his knees begging for forgiveness?" she asked.

I blinked at her and she shrugged, grinning. "I made Orin do that."

Who was this female? Was it just a joke or had she really gotten my brother, a future Alpha, on his knees before her? She was still laughing as she opened the door wide enough to let my mate inside.

His ears were flat, tail drooping as he loped inside. The door was shut behind and him, trapping us together. I bit off another piece of chocolate, trying to keep my composure. The air shimmered as he shifted back to his skin and sat beside me.

"You're upset with me."

I nodded, keeping all my attention on the chocolate. Fenna was right, it really did help.

"I wasn't sure at first. Like Jakkon, I thought Signy was seeing something that wasn't there. I guess we've learned never to doubt a mother-wolf," he explained, relaxing when I didn't move away from the brush of his knuckles against my cheek. "You were just a pup when you went missing, I hadn't been Beta long. I hate to admit I never paid you much attention."

"It would have been inappropriate if you'd paid attention to a pup," I bit off, turning my face away from him. His hand fell away from me but he chuckled anyway.

"Yes. I suppose it would have been. If I'd watched you grow up, I don't think I'd have taken you as a mate," he admitted.

It shouldn't have hurt but it did. If I hadn't been attacked and gone missing, would I have still wanted him if I'd grown up with him there? I frowned. I couldn't imagine the pain of having to watch him choose another female.

"I didn't realise you were that much older than me," I mumbled, feeling even worse. I didn't want to eat anymore chocolate and shoved it towards him in a half assed offering.

"Wolves age slowly. Sometimes it's hard to gauge the age of one. Orin is a lot older than you are. You're only a couple of years older than Fenna. If it was too much of an age gap, I think your father might have done more than threaten me in private for taking you." He broke a small bit off and my lips twitched as he sniffed it before eating it. "It's good. But I can think of better tasting things."

The burn of his eyes on me told me exactly what he thought tasted better and I blushed. But something he'd said was still stuck at the forefront of my mind. I didn't know Alpha Jakkon had had words with Bjarke about taking me as his mate. Not that it was anything to do with him whether I was his daughter or not. That was my choice to make.

"Did Orinfaer really look for me this whole time?" Daring to look over, warm brown eyes bored into mine. I shuffled a little closer, opening the bond back up. A rush of emotions, worry that keeping secrets from me would ruin what we had, the fear he wouldn't be a good father, that I'd decide to leave now.

"You don't believe Fenna?"

I shook my head then hummed. "I would say anything to defend my mate too."

His fingers went back to my hair, stroking through, massaging over my scalp and down my neck until I was purring for him. The last of the tension floated away and I closed my eyes.

"She was telling the truth. Downplaying it all if anything. Orin spent years following every trail of vampires whose scent was anything like the one at the river. He only came back to the pack once a year, sometimes not even that. There was one time we didn't see him for nearly three. When he came back this year, he took Fenna with him. He'll argue, but he was in love with her from the moment he saw or he'd never have taken her with him." He chuckled and I smiled at the story he told. "They're mating was a little . . .tumultuous. Fenna marked him without his permission, they fought for a while, but it made Orin step up and see what he was doing to his family. Then on a patrol, he caught a scent. He left Fenna to track it just as she'd taken her place in the pack. Your brother tore the world apart to find you. He never stopped blaming himself, he felt he was unworthy so tore himself away from the pack. It was Fenna that brought him back."

I soaked in every word, rubbing eyes that were stinging but I had no more tears left to cry. At least now I was sure they hadn't abandoned me, or left me behind because they didn't want me, but I was still worried about how Orin was taking the news of my pregnancy. Would he resent the pup that was proof of how he'd failed me?

"I want to sleep. Tomorrow I'll talk to them all," I decided. Bjarke nodded, his hand over where mine was pressed against my bump.

"I felt him move today," I told him, heart clenching at the grin he gave me.

"You did?"

I laughed as he moved my hand out of the way and stroked his cheek. He could try all he liked but he wasn't going to feel anything. Not yet.

"I love you, little one," he whispered, lifting my dress up so he could place a kiss against skin.

I watched him in awe as I lay back on the furs but he was happy to whisper to his pup. He spoke in the language of the pack and I should have realised sooner that I shouldn't have been able to understand all, if any, of what he said. But I did. I'd switched from whatever language I'd spoke with Valdis to their tongue without even noticing.

It made me certain of one thing. This place, these wolves, this was where I was meant to be now.