(Un)wise

The banter suggesting favors changed to worried, darting glances as the driver sped up. I struggled to stay awake—despite my promise—as we drove another twenty minutes in silence. With a sudden jerk of the steering wheel, the driver pulled over to drop me off near a department store. The door had barely closed before the car pulled away. I watched the car shrink in the distance. They were idiots but idiots who may have saved my life. I should be harder to track in a town this size.

Walking a short distance to a sub shop, I ordered food and sat down to plan my next move. I hadn’t been eating much since running, so I wolfed the sub down in seconds. People paused in their own eating and stared. Focused on picking the pieces of lettuce off the paper, I stopped paying attention to everyone around me. So, I jumped a little when someone slid into the booth and nudged another sub toward me.

Looking up, I froze with a piece of lettuce still pinched between my fingers. My stomach flipped in a sickeningly pleasant way, and my heart gave an excited beat before I could suppress my reaction.

Luke sat across from me. His hair was windblown, and he had a thread of worry in his eyes.

“Did they take your money?” he asked with a slight growl.

I flicked my eyes around the small seating area. No other men. Well, a few men sat with their families, but they didn’t count. He’d come alone again.

“What are you talking about?” I asked quietly, narrowing my eyes. This cat and mouse game made me edgy. When would the others appear?

“The car pulled over halfway here, and you all stood on the side of the road. Why?” He paused and his jaw clenched briefly before he leaned forward slightly. In a quiet, low voice he asked, “Did they hurt you?”

Hurt me? I frowned at him. He was worried they’d pulled over to what? Have a good time with me? My temper flared.

“Why are you doing this?” I said as I tried to keep my voice down.

My dreams had taught me to stay quiet to save lives. Through self-sacrifice, I saved others. Life after life…death after death, I had learned the people who tried helping me always died. I realized I hated my life as much as I wanted to cling to it.

He leaned back and studied me. “Because I want to help you,” he said with a slightly confused smile. He lifted a hand as if to reach across the table and touch me.

I jerked back suppressing the urge to punch him in the face. How dare he mock me by feigning ignorance and sympathy.

“If you want to help me, die.” My gaze remained locked on him, ready for anything.

His eyes flared slightly, and he dropped his hand. “You are very hostile for someone your age.”

I snorted. “Just how many teenagers do you know?” He looked like he’d passed eighteen several years ago. I guessed he had to be in his mid-twenties.

He sighed and scratched his jawline. After a moment he said, “Perhaps we started off poorly. I’m Luke Taylor. My friend, Gabby, sent me to find you. She thinks you may have something in common with her.”

I felt a tug of sympathy for Gabby. “How is she?” I murmured before I could stop myself. If they had her, she would already be suffering; and I really didn’t want to know the extent of it. It would just hurt more.

“Last time I saw her, she was weak but recovering.” He nudged the sub toward me again. “Eat. You’re too thin, and you’ll need your strength.”

Weak? I remembered all the torture his kind had inflicted upon me. He wanted me to be strong enough to endure. “You son of a—”

He cut me off by reaching over the table and gently clapping a hand over my mouth. He looked annoyed for the first time. “Hush,” he warned when I would have moved away to keep talking. “The decisions you make and the words you speak influence the people around you. Be aware of your influence.”

I scowled at him. What was he talking about?

He sighed and answered my question as if I’d spoken it aloud. “There is an adorable little girl just behind you. She can’t be more than two.”

When I turned, he dropped his hand. Two seats away, an admittedly cute little girl watched us with curiosity. Taking a calming breath, I turned back toward Luke.

He was gone. The cell phone rested on the table, a number already punched in. I stared at the phone for several heartbeats. What was with this guy? Appearing, disappearing. Letting me go. Giving me money and now food. As much as I wanted to know about Gabby, I wouldn’t…couldn’t call. They would use her to trap me just like they would use my mom. Besides, she might not even be one of the others I dreamed about.

I ignored the phone but took the sub, shoved it in my duffle, and left. Once outside, I carefully surveyed the light foot traffic around me. Luke seemed to have disappeared, but I didn’t believe he had gone far.

Keeping to the populated area, I walked slowly as I tried to figure him out. He had plenty of opportunity to force me to go with him, to hurt me, but he hadn’t done either. Instead, he’d found me in the hotels and snuck into the rooms without notice to what? To watch me sleep? To leave me a note and money? But he’d left me alone in the homeless shelter. Why? Probably too many people for whatever he had in mind. My eyes darted around counting as the thought “too many people” stuck in my head.

In all the past lives I’d remembered so far, never had humans gathered in such great numbers. Each time, the dogs had found us in small villages and decimated those around us. No. Not dogs. Werewolves. I needed to face the reality of their existence. The werewolves were vicious and strong, but I’d witnessed them receive injuries. They had weaknesses…and now we outnumbered them.

For the first time in days, a smile lit my face. Maybe there was hope after all.

I wore a new rough woven tunic that my mother and I had dyed with a red and brown pattern. At almost nine, I was glad to have something that made me feel pretty especially when I stepped out of our sod home and saw the stranger.

A boy on the cusp of manhood stood before me. His sudden appearance surprised me. Winded and shaking, his eyes traced over my tiny frame just as I studied him. His dark hair dripped with sweat and stuck to his olive skin.

My mother and sisters stepped out of our home behind me. I gave the boy a small smile and wondered why he’d come.

The boy fell to his knees before me and brought his face level with mine. His move surprised me, but I didn’t budge. I was too curious. My mother made an anxious sound behind me but didn’t tell the boy to leave.

His deep brown eyes locked onto mine. “They are coming,” he warned with a slight growl in his voice. “Just behind me. They will kill your family. You need to run—as far as you can—to save them.”

In this life, I remained unaware of the danger of which he spoke. Perhaps this was one of my sisters’ lives where I didn’t have the dreams to remember. Or perhaps I was too young for the dreams yet. With the boy’s shaking, I knew what was coming even if my dream-self did not.

My mother gasped and tried reaching for me. It proved too much for the struggling boy, and he burst into his fur. My sisters screamed and ran toward the field where my father struggled to turn the hard-packed earth. My mother, sobbing and pleading for mercy, followed them.

I stood frozen, watching the wild creature before me. He struggled with himself, slowly pulling back the beast until he was again in human form.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. You must hurry. There are too many of them coming this way.” He glanced over his shoulder, looking back at the way he’d come.

He turned back toward me with worry and desperation in his eyes. “Come here,” he said.

Heart hammering, I stepped forward. He clasped my hand in his own and looked at me with kindness in his eyes. “I’m going to protect you the only way I know how. After I do, you’ll need to run, little one. Go west. Look for my people. We will help you.” He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “I need you to bite me. It will confuse them and allow you to move away from your family.”

It took some convincing, but I did as he asked. He shuddered when I broke the skin, and as I apologized for hurting him, I patted his shoulder.

“Never mind that. Remember, west,” he said. He moved back a step, burst into his fur again, and took off at an amazing speed.

By then, my mother and father were running toward me. I waited for them and admitted to biting the boy but forgot about his plea for me to run.

My mother clasped me to her and wouldn’t let go. We were still standing like that when a group of men arrived.

I watched as the men attacked my family. Too late, I remembered the boy telling me to run. I screamed my anguish while the leader yelled and cursed.

“Find him. He needs to die so she can Claim another!” the man snarled through his elongating canines.

The dream shifted, but the memory did not fade.

The lady in the taupe gown stood in the circle while watching the women depart. One woman turned back, a worried look in her eyes and her hand resting protectively on her belly.

“What is it, dear one?” the Taupe Lady asked softly.

“I will do as you ask and keep her safe. But, who am I protecting her from?”

The Taupe Lady drifted from the circle, her gossamer skirts flowing as if in a breeze. “Not who, but what. Diversity may have gone too far in the beginning and created creatures your fragile race has no hope to withstand during their evolution and their struggles for dominance.”

“I do not understand,” the woman murmured in confusion.

The Taupe Lady reached forward and touched the woman’s cheek gently. “It is not for you to understand, dear one, but for the child you carry. She is wise, and her knowledge will last through the ages.”

I woke with a start as a train rumbled to a halt mere feet from my bench. The air swirled around me…reminding me of the Taupe Lady’s dress. I stood on shaky legs and glanced around the shelter. A few other people waited with us as several passengers disembarked, no one I considered suspicious. Still my skin crawled.

A man sitting on the bench a few feet away caught my attention. His focus wasn’t on me, but on a figure growing smaller in the distance. My stomach did a crazy flip when I looked.

“Nice of him to see you off,” the man said as he stood up to get on the train. “Should have stayed just a few more seconds. Boyfriend?”

Instead of answering, I reached into the pocket of my duffle and found my boarding pass along with more cash. He’d put it there. How much did this guy have on him? Ticket in hand, I climbed aboard and chose a seat away from most of the passengers. The ticket would take me two states west, but I wouldn’t actually ride the train that far. When I’d closed my eyes on the bench, I’d anticipated he’d find me. And just as I’d hoped, he’d looked at the ticket.

Leaning my head against the glass, I thought of the two dreams I’d just had. Though I’d only dreamt a portion of a past life in the first dream, I recalled how that life had ended.

The boy’s arrival before the rest of his pack had been unique and had spared me from torture. Instead, the men had focused their efforts on finding him. After searching for a day, they carried me east to their settlement. There, they shoved me into a rough half-buried hut already occupied with several other young women.

The women had looked up when I’d arrived but made no move toward me until the door closed. When they did approach, they began sniffing me and asking questions. They were werewolves like the men, but not as vicious. I’d lived with them for five years while the search for the boy who’d run continued.

During that time I had feelings that were not my own. Gradually, based on information from my cohabitants, I’d come to understand that it was the boy I felt.

Finally out of patience, the leader had forced me to bite someone else. It was then that they learned something very significant. The bond created with Claiming could be broken without killing one of the pair. You just needed to Claim another.

That memory, along with the latest one of the Taupe Lady, had me questioning what I thought I knew. The werewolves wanted me to bite one of their own and complete the mating bond. Typically, I didn’t live long after that so the purpose behind their insistence to choose still remained a mystery.

Likewise, the boy in the dream confused me. He’d been the only one I’d Claimed who had left me. How ironic that I sat on a train heading west…the same direction he’d told me to run. The thought settled over me for a moment before I realized the potential full message of the dream. It wasn’t just the direction. Maybe the werewolves that kept killing me weren’t the sum of what they represented. Could there be a few of their kind out there different from the rest? Some who were willing to help? Could Luke be like that boy?

I opened my duffle and ate the sub Luke had purchased for me. The same thing I’d ordered for myself. I thought back to the times we’d met while I was awake and the times I slept. He treated me the same as the boy had. With kindness. Sighing, I watched the scenery as the train rumbled west and fought the ever-increasing pull of sleep.

I stepped off the train with blurry eyes and scanned the crowd. Thankfully, I didn’t see any familiar faces. I’d stayed on the train as long as possible but hadn’t even traveled halfway to my destination. I knew I needed to crash soon and hadn’t thought my fellow passengers would understand my thrashing and screaming when I did.

Stumbling forward, I left the station as other passengers boarded. This stop, a decent sized town, had several hotels near the station. I picked one at random, paid for a room, and trudged up a flight of stairs. Sliding the room card through the pad, the door clicked open. I didn’t look around as I stepped in and closed the door. The duffle, barely clinging to my weary shoulder, fell to the floor.

I fell face-first into the firm mattress. I bounced once but barely noticed. Sleep had already wrapped its arms around me. Fully dressed and lying on top the covers, I gave in.

Absolute darkness surrounded me. A low distant rumble filled the cool, dank air. Lying on my back, I attempted to stretch out my arms, but they didn’t move. Bindings bit into the skin of my biceps and forearms. A small noise escaped me.

“She is awake,” a voice rumbled nearby.

“Untie her,” another voice responded.

My heart hammered as two large hands lifted me and set me on my feet. A light exploded in the darkness, blinding me.

I could remember dogs trotting into the village. They had rolled onto their backs, vying for father’s attention. He had laughed and thrown them some meat scraps. They, in turn, had hunted down two rabbits to set at father’s feet. He’d piled straw outside the sheep pen, and the dogs stayed there for three nights. On the fourth night, when father sent me out to feed them, they changed into men. One had scooped me up while the other gagged me. Then, they’d run.

But, something had gone wrong. While running, three dogs crossed our trail. The one carrying me had dropped me to the ground as he shifted and launched at one of the new dogs, tearing into it with deadly force. Then, whirling, he had gone after another while his partner fought the remaining one. The fights had inched closer to me, and I’d scrambled to my feet to try to run, but someone had caught me up from behind. When I’d looked up, the man who held me had a horrible gash where his right eye should have been.

The same man stared at me in the dim light while his partner untied me. Dried blood crusted his face, but I noticed the gash had closed a bit. His eye socket, however, appeared sunken.

“Do not dwell on it, child,” he said. “Your life is worth an eye and more.”

With the simple thoughts of youth, I didn’t understand how I could be worth such an injury but kept quiet.

“My name is Roulf, and I have searched for you these last fifty years.”

Since I’d just reached my fifth year, I couldn’t understand why he’d looked so long. “Why did you bind me?”

“We could not allow you to run. The cycle ends in a few days. They are still looking for the last one. You. This is your third life in this cycle. My son helped you in the last life,” he nodded at the man beside him, “and felt when the bond was broken.”

His eyes didn’t leave mine as if he waited for me to answer. I shrugged at him, my younger-self not understanding while my older, dream-self did. An ache grew within me. I wanted my father.

“You do not need to understand now, just listen. What I tell you will matter later. They must have all of you alive at once. It does not matter to them if you are Claimed. You saw what they did to me. If they take you, they will do the same to you. They will hurt everyone you have ever loved, and people you never knew. You cannot let them take you,” he stressed with a slight growl. He sighed and rolled his shoulders. His son set a comforting hand on him. Roulf reached up and patted it as he turned to smile sadly at his son.

“We will stay here as long as we can. If they find us, you must run that way,” he said pointing toward one end of the dark tunnel, “and remember my words.”

They extinguished the light then, and I sat isolated in the darkness, my little heart hammering, listening for a threat I didn’t understand. I shivered and tried to hold in the whimper that wanted to escape.

Roulf’s son, who had already helped me once in his life, sat beside me and wrapped an arm around me.

He whispered, “When you need to feel safe, remember this.” He gave my arms a gentle squeeze, much like my father might have if I’d woken with a bad dream. I leaned into him trying not to sniffle.

He remained beside me for two days, holding me in the darkness for hours, keeping me safe with his father not far from us. I slept and didn’t complain about hunger when I woke. Roulf’s words and their cautious silence impressed upon me the need to stay hidden.

In the dark, I lost all concept of day and night, but they never did. Baen, as I heard his father call him, whispered to me occasionally, telling me when a night animal entered the cave.

When I felt Baen suddenly shift into his wolf form, I knew we had been found.

Roulf pulled me to my feet, spun me to the left, and nudged me forward. I didn’t say anything. I knew what he wanted me to do. Sticking my hands out, I groped through the darkness, wanting to run but only managing a slow stumble.

“I am proud to call you son, Baen,” Roulf said.

The words struck a deeper fear in me than Baen’s abrupt shifting had. I tried moving faster. After his words, nothing but silence rang behind me.

Ahead, the distant roar, which had kept us company during our stay, grew gradually louder. Still, I stumbled forward. The thunderous rumble deafened me. The walls of the cave vibrated beneath my hands. Before me, a dim light glowed, a tiny bit of sight in the nothingness. I hurried toward it. The air grew damp. Running now, heart hammering with a mixture of fear—instilled by Roulf—and excitement for the light, I ignored the pain in my feet as I kept slipping on the sharp wet rock.

When I reached a churning wall of light, I stopped in confusion, not understanding what I saw. Mist coated my eyelashes, and I blinked away the droplets. The way Roulf had told me to go was blocked. I cautiously reached out. Water tore at my small hand, pulling me forward and down. Before it pulled me too far, I tugged my bruised hand back and stared at the rushing water. I couldn’t leave this way. Turning, I looked into the darkness behind me. Could I go back to Roulf and Baen?

Something glinted in the black tunnel as I considered going back. Two somethings that slowly grew larger. Eyes. Belonging to a dog. I felt a surge of hope until the dog shifted, and I saw it was neither Roulf nor Baen. Blood coated this man, and my heart ached for my would-be friends. The man stretched an arm forward and motioned for me to come to him.

My little heart hammered as I remembered Roulf’s words, “You cannot let them take you.” My tears mixed with the mist as I stepped into the falls.

I screamed myself awake and heard someone pounding on the door. Pulling myself off the mattress, I quickly checked the peephole. A member of the hotel staff, along with a police officer, stood outside. I debated not answering the door but ended up pulling it open despite my reservations.

After explaining about a bad dream and letting the officer into my room, the hotel very politely asked me to leave as I had disturbed too many of their guests. Just as politely, I asked for a refund since I hadn’t even slept an hour.

Duffle once again on my shoulder, I walked away from the hotel feeling the eyes of the police officer on my back. At least the hotel had refunded my money. I stopped a passerby and asked for directions to the nearest bus stop determined to keep heading west.

Still feeling exhausted, I climbed aboard the next bus, eyed the other passengers, and wished I knew what to look for. Werewolves looked just like everyone else until they started transforming.

I sat near the window, looked out with a sigh, and thought of the Taupe Lady. If she had the ability to carry six of us within her and send us into different mothers, why couldn’t she help us? Why did I have to die over and over? I thought back to the very first dream of her. She’d sent each of us to our mothers with a word: Strength, Wisdom, Hope, Peace, Prosperity, and Courage. From the way some of those things had talked to each of us in past lives, I knew I was Wisdom. So which sister had Luke and his people already found?

Shifting in my seat, I pulled up my hood so I could block out the world as I thought. My damn dreams. They had shown me that the werewolves would come and that I needed to run. And I had. I’d run from my home, my friends…my mom. But the dreams weren’t stopping. They had, however, changed. A little. I wasn’t stupid…maybe just a little slow, but hey I was sleep deprived. Twice Baen had helped me…or tried to, anyway. Two dreams showing me that not all werewolves were bad. It gave me a tiny spark of hope, and I knew what I needed to do. West, I thought.

The faint smell of soap tickled my nose. The dreams had just pointed out what I was too afraid to believe; someone had already been helping me. I unzipped the hoodie, pulled it off, and studied it. It wasn’t mine as I’d thought when I’d pulled it out of the duffle in the back of the truck. Holding it to my nose, I inhaled deeply. It smelled like Luke. He’d also given me money. Several times. Granted, he’d also snuck into my hotel room—several times—and seemed to be following me like a creeper. It would take more than cash and a hoodie to earn my trust, but I would listen to the dreams. I sighed and shrugged back into the hoodie.

My head ached from the need to sleep. After a few torturous hours, the bus stopped for a refuel. Stepping off the bus into the increasingly frigid air, I chose a road heading out of town and started walking.