(Un)wise

When I stepped outside the hotel, the chilled air slapped some sense into me; and I schooled my terror-filled expression. I couldn’t doubt myself any longer. Not even slightly. The dreams had continued after my discovery for a reason. I had lifetimes of wisdom in me. I just needed to remember it all. Remembering would help me survive. But to remember, I needed a safe place to sleep…I needed a lot of it. Where though? A public place would be good. A place where moaning in my sleep wouldn’t be too out of the ordinary. Somewhere low cost. A homeless shelter? I’d never been to one in real life and hoped they offered beds like in the movies.

Decided, I hailed a cab. The driver let me know about an overflow shelter where I’d have the best luck in winter months. After showing the cabbie I could pay, he took me there but dropped me off a few blocks away. I didn’t think it would look good if I arrived there in a taxi.

I managed two nights before I admitted to myself I’d made the wrong decision. All of the dreams—each memory—depicted hellish nightmares of brutal past deaths, further driving into me the need to run. I still didn’t have a destination. I just needed to keep moving. They were closing in. I would die.

Though I’d slept every chance I got, it felt like I’d stayed awake since I left the hotel. Hyped up on caffeine, I caught another bus. This time going south. I didn’t pay attention to the destination, nor did I make small talk with sweet old ladies.

On the outside, anyone looking at me would see a calm, sleepy girl. Inside, I twitched and jittered; I moaned and cried as I remembered all the slow tiny cuts from the night before. It had taken a week to die. In that dream, they hadn’t meant to kill me…her…us…whoever. A past version of one of the others like me had pretended to be more alert and resilient than she had actually been. When they’d realized they’d gone too far, it’d been too late.

The ride left me in a small town with no motel.

I cast my eyes in every direction trying to decide my next move when I spotted an old iron support bridge just down one of the side roads. Its metal skeleton blended with the leafless branches on the banks surrounding it. Trudging in that direction, I kept alert for anyone following me.

Since staying at the shelter, something had changed. The sleep-inducing memories pulled at me even while awake. The pull had an edge to it. It wouldn’t be denied for long. I needed a power nap. Thirty minutes tops, I promised myself.

I checked for cars before I stepped off the road and made my way into the ravine that the bridge spanned. The wooden decking provided covering but didn’t make a good shelter due to the gaps. Crushed stone had once covered the embankment. Weeds and other growth concealed much of it now. The dry winter vegetation snapped in the quiet as I headed under the bridge and picked a spot where most of the rocks were still exposed.

Peeling off my hoodie, I lay down. The rocks and cold wouldn’t allow for a deep sleep. The waiting dream pulled me under before I laid my head on my arm.

I immediately merged with the past.

In this dream, I was myself, or at least a past version of myself, and remembered the man standing before me. He had been responsible for my death twice in the same cycle. He looked much older now.

“This time, we’re going to do things a little differently.” He motioned for two of his men to step forward. “Hold her, and open her mouth.”

One man stepped behind me, grasping my already bound arms. Another man gripped my jaw roughly and pressed his fingers inward until I opened my mouth.

My face ached. His fingers left bruises on my skin, but I showed no fear, no pain. I remembered him. I remembered everything. This, however, was new and I wondered what he had in mind.

He motioned for another to join our little group.

This man I’d never seen before. Something about him pulled me, and I felt certain it wasn’t good. His eyes roamed over me from head to feet, lingering in any place that caught his interest.

“Her scent is perfect.”

“Go then,” the leader motioned the man to step toward us.

I braced myself for a brutal Claiming, but the man surprised me by stopping a step away. He tilted his neck to the side. I didn’t have time to wonder what it meant. The man holding me shoved my face forward into the man’s neck. I pulled my bruised lips back just before the second man holding me moved his hands on my jaw. Instead of forcing it open, he forced it closed so fast and hard that I bit the man’s neck. He howled in excitement. I pulled back, stunned and not understanding what had just happened. Both men let go of me and stepped back leaving me with the man I’d just bitten.

He pulled me to him and kissed my mouth passionately. He bruised my lips further. Still, I felt a stirring within me and tentatively responded. His hands tugged at my clothing.

“Stop. You can’t mate with her. Not yet.”

The man kissing me lifted his head with a feral growl.

The leader didn’t back down. Instead, he partially shifted. “She’s weak. She’s died on us twice already. You need to be in control, not newly Claimed. Wait.”

My hands, still bound behind my back, prevented me from catching myself when the man I’d bitten abruptly let go. I fell backward, landing hard on sharp rocks that bit into my thighs and buttocks.

Dream and reality blended in that moment. Rocks still bit into my butt, but they bit through my jeans. I needed to wake up but couldn’t open my eyes. The dream still lingered. I hadn’t died yet. I always died…except for those dreams with the Taupe Lady. Why hadn’t I died?

Something settled over me gently. The physical contact gave me what I needed to pull myself from the dream world. My eyes popped open.

The bronze-haired, hazel-eyed man from the mall swam into focus. He hovered over me. His hands were on my hoodie. We stared at each other for a heartbeat. Then he moved, straightening the hoodie over my shoulder.

I scrambled to my feet. My eyes never left his as he slowly stood from where he’d been crouched on the balls of his feet next to me. How could something so cruel still make my stomach flip in such a toe-tingling way?

We stared at each other for several long moments. His eyes swept over me with a tender look. Concern clouded them when I involuntarily shivered.

He lifted the hoodie still held in his fingertips. “My name is…”

That was as far as he got before I tried to deliver a swift kick to his balls. He dodged smoothly, but his easygoing expression changed to one of wary shock.

I didn’t wait for him to recover but turned and scrambled up the embankment to reach the road. It was pointless. I knew he was much faster. Still, I pushed on. Stones slid under my feet. He caught me from behind while I was still scrambling over the loose stones and pinned my arms to my side.

“Easy, luv. Unlike you, I mean no harm,” he spoke softly near my ear, sending tingles along my spine. His grip, though firm, wasn’t rough. He turned and walked back under the bridge, carrying me easily.

My heart freaked out, going into a very painful overdrive.

He surprised me by letting me go. I spun to face him again with my knees bent and my weight on the balls of my feet, ready to move. His expression seemed more concerned than wary. Probably concerned that someone would hear. We were fairly close to town, no doubt the reason why he’d pulled me back under the bridge.

“As I was saying, my name is Luke Taylor. And you are?”

“Not yours,” I answered automatically. “Touch me again and I’ll sac tap you so hard you’ll be coughing semen for a week. And this time I won’t miss.”

I felt a moment of pride at my tough words, but that quickly passed as the details of the life I’d just dreamt continued to filter in. I’d survived the fight, but at only fourteen, I hadn’t survived long in the hands of my Mate. He’d been rough and brutish but not completely uncaring. As his leader suggested, my fragility hadn’t withstood him.

I was older in this life and determined not to be as fragile. I wouldn’t be used that way again. They’d wanted to control me to influence a decision. I wasn’t sure what decision yet, but I knew it involved the others like me. The ones who had briefly shared the womb of the Taupe Lady with me, the ones I sometimes dreamed of.

In response to my eloquent threat, his lips twitched as if he wanted to smile.

That gave me pause. Something about this was wrong…

The wind rattled through the empty branches while I tried to pinpoint the problem. I risked looking away to scan the bank and trees behind him.

“What are you looking for?”

It wasn’t until I looked back at him that I realized what I’d been looking for—what was wrong. “Your pack of murdering dogs.”

Surprise flashed in his eyes. “I’m alone.”

I snorted in disbelief. They were never alone. Always in a pack. I stayed tense, waiting for his next move. I knew better than to try running again. Who knew how long his humor would last.

He didn’t say anything, just continued to study me. After a time listening to the dry rattle of barren tree branches and dead weeds around us, he sighed and sat down on the patch of rocks where we’d started.

I flicked the briefest glance at the trees again, puzzled. “What are you doing?”

“Waiting for you to decide your next move. Keeping up with you is exhausting. I thought giving you money would keep you in one place long enough so you could get the sleep you obviously need.” He pulled his knees up and rested his forearms on them in a relaxed pose. “So what are your nightmares about?”

The reminder that he’d been in my room had me narrowing my eyes. “All of the ways I’d rather die than bite the neck of a disgusting werewolf who’d be willing to rape a fourteen year old girl just to have control over her when Judgement comes.” The lingering memories of my young past life still haunted me, and the words were out of my mouth without thinking.

He flinched as he looked down at the ground. I didn’t know what I meant by it all, but the ring of it sounded so right. Something in what I’d said struck a chord in him, too, because with a clenched jaw, he paled. Satisfaction coursed through me. About time one of them felt guilty about what they did. Just as I had that thought, an angry red flush flooded his face.

“Has someone hurt you?” His softly intense words sounded strained. The veins on the back of his hand stood out. This wasn’t a mystery to me. I’d witnessed this many times in my dreams. He struggled to contain the beast.

I recalled the word I’d used. Werewolf. So laughably impossible to me a few short months ago, I embraced the truth of it…him…and of the nightmare of my life.

“Tell me who,” he demanded. When he looked up, his eyes were larger in his skull. The pupils dilated as he struggled to maintain control.

I didn’t bother wondering why he cared. They were territorial creatures, possessive of their unClaimed women. Even more so of their Mates.

“In this life? No one yet. But it looks like you’re about to fix that. In other lives, they’ve already died.” I thought about my dreams and wondered if that was true. Was this my first life in this cycle? I knew I could be born several times in the same cycle, making it possible to meet some of them in more than one life. I’d dreamt that very scenario.

My words seemed to turn off a switch in him. His change receded. “This life?” Confusion laced his voice.

He’s good, I thought. The rest had just bullied and beat me. No one had tried acting like they cared.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Why are you toying with me? We both know what you want.”

He shook his head slowly and stood, pulling something from his pocket. Hand outstretched, he offered me the cell phone I’d tossed into the garbage at the last hotel. “Press call. I have a…friend, Gabby. She sent me to look for you. Thought you might be like her.”

His words burst a bubble of anger within me. For a moment, I just struggled to breathe. One of my original sisters? This was different. New. Still, I couldn’t trust him. They’d talked about the others like me before, but we were never in their control at the same time. Not for very long, anyway. We kept dying on them. The thought made me smile briefly. It faded into a frown. I didn’t want to die again.

Looking up at the overcast sky, I decided something felt different this time. Some balance had been tipped. I just wished I knew in whose favor.

Declining to take the phone, I watched him as I gathered my things and put my hoodie back on. In the distance, I heard the rumble of a car starting up. Slowly, I turned away from him and climbed back up to the road. I reached the top. He didn’t stop me. I didn’t look back but remained focused forward.

Gravel crunched underfoot as I walked back into town. His steps echoed quietly behind me. I hoped it was well behind me. The car turned onto our road. I didn’t change my step, my breathing, nothing. No physical signs to give me away. The car increased its speed.

At the last moment, I stepped into the road waving the car down. My pulse jumped and my hands shook. Kill me or stop. Please stop. I didn’t want to die; I just wanted a ride. A fast getaway. It was a risk not just for me, but also for the driver of the car if Luke reached the car before I got in.

The two guys in the car didn’t hesitate. The car pulled to the side, and I quickly slid into the backseat slamming the door closed with a breathless, “Thanks.”

The car didn’t move. I glanced at the driver, but he wasn’t focused on me. I followed his gaze and met Luke’s eyes through the window. My stomach plunged to my toes. He stood on the shoulder of the road, less than a step away, looking down at the car—at me—through the glass. Though his stance was relaxed, he didn’t look very happy. I fought not to give into complete panic as his eyes narrowed on the boys in the front seat. Luke looked back at me, studied me for a moment, and arched a brow.

“Is your friend getting in, too?” the driver asked.

I held Luke’s gaze and shook my head. Luke’s lips twitched again as if he fought not to smile.

“A’right.” The kid put the car in drive and slowly pulled away.

I kept my eyes on Luke. I’d seen his kind do incredible things and didn’t trust him for a moment. From the front, the driver asked where I was headed.

“Doesn’t matter. Next town if you’re going that far.”

Luke faded into the distance along with his last censoring gaze.

Though I firmly believed there was nothing worse than facing a werewolf, the two boys in the front seat tested me. They suggestively asked about compensation for the ride they provided. Then, when I feigned ignorance of their innuendos, they flat out asked for head.

“Pull over,” I said through clenched teeth.

“Oh, come on,” the driver said with a laugh. “We’re just messing with you.”

The warmth of the car and the soft vibrations weren’t enough to keep me lucid, so I rolled down the window. With their current line of conversation, I couldn’t afford to fall asleep.

“I’ve been messed with enough. Just get me to the next town or as far as you can take me.”

The conversation silenced for almost a minute, and I let out a slow breath. As if it were a signal, the passenger turned in his seat to watch me.

“So do you have a boyfriend?”

Are you freaking kidding me? I’m on the run from sadistic beasts that actually wear fur and run on all fours, and he wanted to know if I had a boyfriend?

“No.” I met his gaze. After a few long moments, his smile faded, and he turned forward once more.

The respite from their inane conversation gave me a moment to consider my meeting with Luke. He was the first one ever to offer his name. Sure, I’d learned a few names over my lifetimes but always by listening to the conversation flowing around me. Not only had he offered his name, but he’d also let me go. I had no illusions. He could have stopped me easily by reaching through the glass and pulling me out forcibly. Why hadn’t he?

“Can you roll that window up?” The driver reached over and turned up the heat.

I needed the ride. Though it wasn’t a good idea, I rolled up the window. Within a minute, the temperature in the car jumped from cool to goodnight. My eyes blinked closed. In my dreams, I could no longer separate my past-self from my present-self. It was just me…

Several of them gathered where I lay broken at the bottom of a ravine. I’d tried jumping over the gap and misjudged the distance. For once, I had not purposely flung myself over the edge of something. My right leg throbbed painfully; and when I tried touching it, my fingers came away wet before I even got to the spot that really hurt. I shook all over. Definitely shock.

Lying on my back, looking up at the overcast sky and the scrub-dotted crumbling edge of the ravine, their faces danced in and out of my line of sight as each of them inspected me. Finally, the leader came close.

“We remember through stories passed down from each generation which of you is most likely to fight or run. Which has succumbed in the past. Who is born first. Who dies too easily. We remember.” He reached down and smoothed back a strand of hair that covered part of my face. “You, my wise little girl, have given us plenty of trouble because you remember, too. Let us create some new memories, shall we?”

Their hands tugged at my clothes and grasped my arms. Hurt and bleeding, I fought them as they…

…lifted me.

“Never again,” a voice said near my head. “She’s crazy!”

A hand fumbled for hold on my flailing arm. I stopped fighting and pried my eyes open. The driver had my legs while the passenger struggled with my arms.

“I’m awake,” I said. “Stop!”

The driver dropped me when I met his shocked gaze. The passenger was slower to catch on, and I had to yank my arms from his hold. They both stared at me for a second while I quickly looked around. We were still on a straight stretch of country road. I couldn’t have slept more than fifteen minutes. We hadn’t put enough distance between us and that thing, Luke.

“I have bad dreams,” I said as I brought my gaze back to the driver. “Night terrors. The car got too warm, and I fell asleep. It won’t happen again. Please, I just need a ride to the next town.”