Until You (Off-Limits)

I stare at my phone, a bittersweet smile on my face. Ida won the case, and it ended up being a landslide victory. I’m not surprised, considering the amount of work we put into it behind the scenes.

I wonder if Grayson has heard about it yet. He must have. I wish I knew what he was thinking, whether he’s happy and relieved, whether this makes him feel better.

He’s only a couple of steps away, but his office door is closed. It often is, lately. Part of me wants to walk in and find out how he’s taking the news, but a larger part of me has nothing left to give.

My phone buzzes in my hand, and my eyes widen when I read the message. I smile humorlessly and grab my handbag as I reply to the request to meet.

My thoughts are whirling as I walk over to the diner Ida works at. I’ve been working on this case for months, and it’s cost me everything. But maybe it always would have happened. Maybe Gray would always have lost interest in me. Maybe Ida’s case just accelerated that process.

She smiles at me when I walk in, and the similarity hits me right in the chest. It’s the eyes. Gray has her eyes. “Nyx,” she says, grabbing my hand. I stiffen as she leads me to a table, sitting down opposite me. “I can’t thank you enough. I’ve never felt freedom like this before. For years, I thought he got away with what he did, that no one would ever listen to me. Until you.”

I lean back in my seat and cross my arms, my eyes roaming over her. She looks happy, and I can’t help but feel like she stole that happiness from Grayson and me.

“It’s not me you should be thanking, Ida. It’s Grayson.”

She falls silent and looks away, a tinge of guilt in her eyes.

“Do you have any idea what it took to win your case? Things aren’t as simple as they seem. They never are. That video that moved the odds in your favor? Who do you think orchestrated that? Who do you think got that confession?”

I laugh, the sound shrill. My heart is bleeding, and staring at her makes me feel like whatever is left of it is being stabbed with a blunt knife.

“It killed him. Grayson was devastated after he met you, and when I found out what you told him, I was ready to drop your case. You do not deserve him. You do not deserve everything he’s done for you, the hell he put himself through. If it were up to me, I’d have let you burn. I’d have let you live with your sorrow for what you put the man I love through. But not Grayson.”

I swallow hard and grit my teeth, trying my best to remain in control of my emotions. “Since you had the guts to sit here and tell him he was born of sin, you’ll sit here and listen to what it took for him to win you that case. Because it was him that did this for you, not your lawyer.”

I lean in, looking into the eyes that are identical to the ones I love more than life itself, and all I feel is hatred. “You destroyed him, Ida. He’d been searching for you for years, going to the church he was left at every single Sunday, hoping for a glimpse of you. Do you have any idea how hard he’s worked? How he grew up? Do you even know who Grayson Callahan is?”

I glance down at her phone and shake my head. “That phone of yours? It wouldn’t work without the software Grayson’s company developed. The man you say never should have been born, is the same man that runs one of the most influential software companies in the world. He’s the same man that personally worked on hundreds of cases just like yours — pro bono and completely anonymous. That is the kind of man Grayson is. He’s brilliant, he’s kind, he’s compassionate… and without him, you’d still be living with unresolved crimes haunting you. You think it was your lawyer that won you the case?” I laugh humorlessly and clench my hands.

Ida looks at me, disbelief flickering through her wide eyes.

“That video Grayson made? It killed him to take it. It killed him to sit there and hear how he was conceived. He hasn’t been the same since. Despite everything you said to him, he went and did that for you, forsaking himself. But that’s not all he did, Ida. Grayson ensured the right people saw that video. At first, it was the judge that pushed your case forward to a trial instead of dismissing it. Then it was the jury, earning you that landslide victory. He broke countless laws to give you the justice he thought you deserved, but that’s not all he broke. He broke his own heart — and mine too.”

I look away, disgusted by her. “The next time you feel even an ounce of relief, the smallest sense of justice… remember who you owe it to. Remember what it cost. Grayson paid for your happiness by sacrificing his own. Every smile on your face for the rest of your life, is one you took from him. He might have been born as a result of a crime, but it doesn’t compare to the sins you committed against the one person who stood by you even when you turned your back on him. He didn’t choose to be born the way he did, but you chose to give him up. You chose to turn your back on him when he came to find you, his heart filled with hope. You looked him in the eye and destroyed him. You might be enjoying a sense of freedom now, but you’d better remember what it cost.”

I rise to my feet and turn to walk away, a tear rolling down my cheek as I walk out the door. My heart aches for everything Grayson went through, everything we went through. I hope it was worth it.