Un2talented (Book 3 of the Un2 Series)

DeLeon walked the torch-lined perimeter of the compass rose straightening any of the lamps that he felt were askew.

“Proper lighting is essential,” he commented to the group without turning to address them. He crossed his torso with one arm and pulled at its elbow. “As is stretching.” He then repeated the process with the other arm.

Dorian did a few alternating lunges with his hands at his hips followed by spinning his arms like windmills. DeLeon laughed at the sight.

“I can’t wait to see your swordsmanship knowing that is how you prepare!”

Dorian didn’t say a word as he dropped into the splits and then sprung back onto his feet in one fluid movement. He then held his blade horizontally before him and leaped high enough to sweep the sword beneath his feet. He repeated the action in reverse and then forward again followed by a backflip ending with the sword in front of him once again.

“You warm up your way, I’ll warm up mine!” He replied with a grin.

“A gymnast does not a swordsman make,” DeLeon rebuffed.

“Conquistador smack-talk leaves a lot to be desired!” Dorian poked.

“I shall let my sword do my talking!”

“I shall let my sword do my talking!” Dorian mocked back in an exaggerated old-timey accent. “Who are you, Errol Flynn? C’mon, rock star, you’ve traveled the world. You’ve got to have something better than that!”

“Could we have less talking and more stabbing?” Charlie urged.

“We have yet to set the rules,” DeLeon replied. “A proper duel needs guidelines. Fortunately, the breastplate will decide who wins so we only need to determine what will not be allowed. I propose we stay away from any facial damage. I have my fans to consider.”

“Can we agree to steer clear of genitalia? Because, well, genitalia!” Dorian added.

“No faces or balls!” Charlie proclaimed. “But backsides and the back of the head are fair game.”

“What about ears?” Dorian asked.

“Ears are allowed.”

“Ears are part of the face!” DeLeon insisted.

“Since when?”

“Do you want me to slice at your ears?” DeLeon asked Dorian.

“No!”

“No ears!” The pair stated in tandem.

“Ears are fair game. If you two want to avoid slicing at each other’s ears it will be up to you. Anything else?”

“A true duel requires an official start. We need to stand, facing each other, whilst another announces ‘en garde’. Then we begin.”

“Dorian, move into the compass thing and stand across from DeLeon,” Charlie directed. “When you two are ready the girl will ‘en garde’ you.”

DeLeon stood atop the western point and bowed slightly as Dorian positioned over the east.

“Are you on your marks?” Cadence queried.

“I guess,” Dorian looked at his feet.

“Are you set?”

“Hey, I was today years old when I realized that ‘On your mark, get set, go’ was actually meant for something like this!” Dorian replied, quite pleased with his enlightenment.

“That phrase won’t be used for another three hundred years. It was first used to begin a foot race. We would never use that to begin a duel,” DeLeon corrected.

“Well, you can’t say that anymore!”

“I certainly can! At best we will have an ‘on your mark, get set, en garde’!”

“You’re splitting hairs!” Dorian argued.

“I’ll split your hairs!” DeLeon retorted.

“There’s more of that stinging conquistadorian smack-talk!”

“Conquistadorian isn’t a real word!”

“Your face isn’t a real word!” Dorian lashed back without much thought.

“Gentlemen! And I use that term in the loosest way possible, can we proceed?” Charlie redirected.

DeLeon assumed the proper stance holding his sword before him. He motioned with the blade for Dorian to do the same. He mirrored DeLeon’s pose and looked back to Cadence.

“Remember what we discussed. It’s important,” Dorian urged.

“I will. I promise. Is everyone ready?”

The combatants nodded.

Cadence did not relish her role. She paused, but then called out,” En garde!”

DeLeon was quick to attack knowing that Dorian had no experience with a blade and would not know what to expect. He batted Dorian’s sword to the side and lunged. Dorian’s new agility and sense of timing kicked in automatically as he twisted and spun away from the blade. He swung at DeLeon as if he were using a fly swatter and sliced him across the side of his thigh. He unexpectedly continued to spin into multiple pirouettes before resuming a defensive stance. He quickly looked to Cadence.

“Did you see that?” He uttered amazed.

“Look out!” Cadence shrieked as DeLeon pivoted and lunged. Dorian hunched around the blade as it slid past his abdomen nicking the breastplate. He slapped down across DeLeon’s sword and then ran back to the center of the rose.

“Pay attention!” Cadence admonished. “Don’t get cocky, it will get you killed!”

“Or be cocky as hell! It doesn’t matter to me!” Charlie laughed.

Dorian readied for another advance. DeLeon came at him fast with a series of slashes. To his surprise, he was able to deflect each slice. As their swords crossed again, Dorian pushed forward until their guards met. With an abrupt jerk, he smashed his forehead into DeLeon’s knocking both off balance. They stumbled apart as the stars cleared from their vision.

“We agreed that there wouldn’t be any contact with the face!” DeLeon roared.

“The forehead isn’t part of the face! The face ends at the eyebrows!” Dorian insisted. “Besides, the rule is about swords. I used my forehead.”

DeLeon replied with a swift kick to Dorian’s groin causing him to drop his sword and crumble to his knees. DeLeon put his boot into Dorian’s chest and pushed him onto his back. He stood over him and pushed the point of his blade against Dorian’s throat.

“Is it safe to assume the same applies to the rule about genitalia?”

“Well played,” Dorian squeaked, sounding like air escaping from a balloon.

“I do not relish gaining the armor by kicking its wearer in the marbles. It cheapens the win. I choose to continue the duel.”

DeLeon picked up the dropped weapon and presented it to Dorian,

“Rise and retrieve your weapon.”

“Cadence,” Dorian called from his prone position. “It is time to do the thing you promised you would do.”

“What are you up to?” DeLeon challenged.

Cadence stood and pulled the leather pouch from her pocket.

“Take it out of the bag and hand it to Charlie.”

Cadence hesitated. DeLeon moved towards her with both swords at the ready.

“It’s okay. I’ll see you later.” Dorian’s heart pounded with anticipation

Cadence removed the bracelet and held it toward Charlie.

Dorian’s anticipation turned to panic. “Stop! Something is wrong!”