Un2talented (Book 3 of the Un2 Series)

Cadence quickly withdrew her hand as Charlie swiped his through the vacant air.

“What do you mean?” DeLeon demanded.

“She shouldn’t be here. She should be gone,” Dorian answered.

“Why would she be gone? The bracelets link to the armor. You’re wearing the breastplate so she is exactly where she should be.”

“That would be true if this was the real breastplate, but it’s not so she should have zipped off to wherever in time the armor is.”

Everyone in the grotto, except for Dorian, became angered at the revelation but for different reasons.

“You were planning on shooting me off to God knows where! Why? What possible reason could you have for risking my life like that?” Cadence chided.

“When,” Dorian corrected.

Cadence scowled at him.

“It would be ‘God knows when’ because you would stay here in the grotto, but you would be here at the time that the breastplate is. . .”

“I know how the bracelet works!” Cadence cut him off.

“I thought that you would be safer anywhere else!” Dorian insisted.

“Shouldn’t that be ‘anywhen’ else?” Charlie poked. “Besides, I gave my word that I would return her to whatever period she wished! You disappoint me, boy.”

“Like, I’m supposed to trust you after the underhanded way you brought Cadence into this?”

“Look who’s talking! You deceived me!”

“And me!” DeLeon added. “I should kill you just for the mere principle of it!”

“Oh, should I be concerned about how a pillager of civilizations views my character?”

“He deserves to be stabbed just for saying that” Charlie urged.

“I’m not thrilled with you either!” DeLeon directed a sword at Charlie. “You didn’t deliver as promised. All this time wasted and for what?”

“You can still kill the boy. That might be fun.”

Dorian scrambled to his feet. “No, that would not!”

“There isn’t a reason for anyone to kill or be killed!” Cadence cut in. “The ritual was completed. All the requirements have been met. End of story. It’s time for Charlie to do his job and return DeLeon to the future.”

“Do my job?” Charlie howled. “You accuse me of shirking my duties because the conquistador preferred having the armor delivered to him rather than getting off his lazy ass and retrieving it himself!”

“Lazy ass? Lazy ass?”

DeLeon moved angrily, wagging a sword at Charlie. “I’ve accomplished more in my life than you ever will and that says a lot considering that you are as old as time! You botched this deal, not I!”

“I did not! My minion told me that he was in possession of the armor and would be sent to us. He had the breastplate!” Charlie turned to Dorian. “You had the breastplate, did you not?”

“I did,” Dorian replied.

“Who has it? Where is it now?”

“Don’t you mean ‘when is it now’?” Dorian smirked.

“That’s getting old,” Charlie exhaled. “Just answer me.”

“I put up a great fight, but I lost it in a battle royale. I don’t know its location.”

“But we do!” Cadence interrupted. “We know that the armor is in the current life stream because nothing happened when I touched the bracelet.”

“Bright girl!” DeLeon cheered. “Unfortunately, it could be anywhere on the face of the planet.”

“Or someplace a few hundred feet below!” A voice echoed from the darkness of the tunnel behind them. “Hello! Echo! Hello!” The voice bounced just enough to add fullness to the words. “Great acoustics down here!”

Griffin spread his wings and brushed the dust from his torso as he entered the grotto. “I just flew in from the new Millenium and boy are my arms tired!”

No one reacted.

“Ooh, tough crowd!”

“That joke doesn’t work when you literally have wings!” DeLeon indicated.

“I was hoping to come swooping into the cave and do some sort of aerobatic entrance, but the tunnel is a bit narrow and I just preened my wingtips. The ones on my actual wings, not shoes. I don’t even own a pair of those.”

“That’s the guy that beat you in a battle royale?” Charlie laughed.

Griffin looked quizically at Dorian who returned the look with pleading eyes.

“Oh, it was brutal!” Griffin confirmed. He shadowboxed as he described the encounter. “I threw lefts and rights that bounced off of the guy like he was a brick shithouse. We tumbled and jostled and even broke an end table into kindling.” Griffin looked to Dorian for approval.

Dorian mouthed, “Thank you.”

“If it wasn’t for that one lucky punch I wouldn’t have beat him.” He demonstrated throwing one final uppercut. “Then he went down like a sack of potatoes!”

“Hey, I didn’t . . . well, yes, yes I did.” Dorian conceded.

“And now, as promised, I’ve come to let him try to win the armor back.”

“You’ve willingly sought out a challenge for the armor?” DeLeon replied dumbfounded.

“I told him that I would seek him out once I had accomplished my mission. I’m a cromangi of my word.”

“I thought of that!” Dorian boasted. “Crow plus man plus corgi. Cromangi. That’s what he’s made of! Get it?”

Cadence nodded with approval.

“Back to the point. He has a standing challenge with you for the rights to the armor?” DeLeon queried.

“Yes.”

“Then, I challenge the winner of your challenge.”

“What the hell is going on? What’s with all of this namby-pamby, take your turn kind of bullshit?” Charlie grumbled.

“It’s a thing called etiquette, Chuck. Have some respect for the process. I can’t fight for the armor while another challenge exists.”

“That’s it!” Charlie screamed. “This is the most asinine, anti-climatic battle for a magical artifact that I’ve ever seen, and I’m as old as time!”

“I think I can streamline the process,” Griffin offered. “If you would allow me to confer with Dorian.”

DeLeon agreed. Charlie shrugged and waved him off.

Griffin pulled Dorian and Cadence into a huddle.

“I assume that the two of you have a means of returning to the present since Dory managed to get here without the use of the armor.”

“I have the Aquamino ready and waiting,” Dorian answered.

“So that’s a yes?”

“Yes. I can get us home.”

“Then allow me to duel DeLeon without dueling you first. You can concede your battle to me and then DeLeon can fight me.”

“You shouldn’t have to fight DeLeon. I should do it,” Dorian replied.

“You would have to beat me. I’ve learned quite a few things in the time that we’ve been apart. Unless you’ve brought Twister with you you’ll have a hard time besting me. Even if you did win you would be worn out from the start of your duel with him.”

“But I promised that I would return the armor to Reese.”

“Dory, do you really think that you’re capable of beating two opponents in a row?” Cadence urged.

“But I’m all buff and stuff! I’ve got cool abilities that I haven’t even used!”

Cadence furrowed her brow and moved her face uncomfortably close to Dorian’s.

“I was allowing you to bow out on your own, but now you are being ridiculous! Griffin can kick your ass from here to next Sunday without breaking a sweat. Take his offer!” She uttered through clenched teeth.

“Take the offer!” DeLeon called from across the grotto.

The three turned, surprised.

“Great acoustics, remember? We’ve heard the whole conversation.”

Charlie nodded in agreement.

“Don’t worry about that promise!” echoed through the grotto.

Reese and Joey emerged from the darkness of the tunnel.

“I’ll fight for it myself.”

“For the love of a fustilugs’ unmentionables!” Charlie hung his head in despair.