To My Shattered Soul

That night something happened which I never thought about, I slept! Yes, you read it right! I slept for the first time… and I had a dream, an amazing dream that I never had before.

And I can guarantee I had no dream but nightmares before but this was beautiful, it was a bright room with an arch on each side, every arch had an opening to the outside, and from above them were falling beautiful long curtains.

White and bright as the moon, soft as silk, light as a feather, with the blowing wind they were flying, and in the middle of that room there I was.

Swinging on a swing as my hair blowing by the fresh and soothing wind a small opening under my feet where I could see the water blue and so pure surrounded by a golden mandala on white tiles.

When I looked farther I saw a man sitting on his knees and painting the last corner of that mandala, when he raised his head he smiled at me, he was Peter!

When I slowly opened my eyes I saw peter sitting by the bed facing the glass with his arms wrapped around his knees and holding one of his wrists with another hand.

Even his eyes were smiling, I slowly got up and sat by the wall, and looked back at him, his gaze was stuck on me, sweet, but intensely.

I felt shaking inside “Why is he looking at me like that?” I thought but didn’t let him notice what was in my mind.

“You just had a….” He turned his wrist and looked at his watch “12 hours sleep and I can’t be happier” He wore on that big smile of his again.

“That’s why you were staring at me!” I giggled.

“This isn’t why I was ‘watching’ you” He specified ‘watching’ to let me know that ‘staring’ and ‘watching’ are two different things as if I don’t know.

“Then why were you ‘watching’ me?”

“Nah! Leave it you will find it funny!” He stood up back on his feet.

“Oh my God was I snoring?” I covered my mouth with my hands.

“No!” He started laughing and after laughing for some time he stopped “You don’t snore!”

He got lost in thought for a moment then he approached me again “I think you lost your sleep because you were scared to wake up back there again!

Which is actually your world, and maybe you are not scared anymore” His eyes were sparkling differently today, he was happy for me, but he had something else in his heart which he wasn’t ready to talk about.

I wanted to tell him about my dream, but it made me nervous when his eyes kept getting drawn toward me, I opened my mouth several times but ended up talking about something else, after trying so much I convinced myself to tell him.

“I had an amazing dream!” Oops… it wasn’t me! It was Peter who said that! So I still have to keep my mouth shut I guess.

“What was that about?” Maybe he had the same dream as me? Or maybe something else? But he didn’t tell me, he told me that he can’t let me know until the right time! What timing is right to tell a dream huh? But you know Peter always has a reason to do what he does.

I wish I could tell him how real and amazing it felt, how beautiful the weather was, how the water felt under my feet, how sparkly everything seemed.

And how…. How amazing he looked in that dream… Let’s just stop talking about Peter for a while and focus back on what happened next.

For the first time I heard voices in front of Peter, he saw me looking up at the ceiling and he noticed that I was listening to something which he wasn’t.

“What is it?” He asked.

“Ssshh” I shushed him by waving my hand.

I heard voices… of doctor I guess, and my mom’s “What are you saying? Will my Daisy live?”

She never called me ‘My Daisy’ since I crossed my early teens and her voice was shaky and heavier as if she’s been crying a lot these days.

“Yes, Mrs. Carter this is exactly what I am saying!” He had a satisfying tone.

“Thank you so much!” She started sobbing with joy.

“Don’t thank me! I don’t know the reason for her betterment” He exclaimed and what was left was just silence. I waited for any further voice or talk but there was nothing else.

I had good news for Peter I couldn’t stop smiling, and he was smiling so desperately to know what I had to tell him.

“I am getting better they say” I had tears of joy in my eyes, and it was surprising, it’s like the girl who committed suicide, now wants to live!

And I am not surprised why it happened when the only reason was standing in front of me, I can’t explain how thankful I am to him, for dragging me out of my past which seemed to be a nightmare to my present, which is more like a paradise for me.

Even that broken glass prison started to feel like a palace to me, speaking of... I had something in mind that I needed to spit out as fast as I could.

“Hey, I want you to do something for me!” I looked around and then continued “I want you to draw something for me! But don’t show me until the right time!” I bet he didn’t know why I asked to do him such a thing but he did it anyway.

I had no idea what he drew, or when he drew, I just know he did, or if he hadn’t he would draw it.

Okay so now the best thing is “I didn’t have to stay up all night!” I slept again and I had the same dream, and if I could choose to dream about something else I wouldn’t.