The Rules of Dating a Younger Man

I alternated between staring at the wall in my apartment and looking out the window at the busy street below. Despite having plenty of things that should’ve kept me occupied as I worked from home today, I couldn’t concentrate on anything besides what had happened this past weekend. Or more specifically, what never happened this past weekend.

I’d been back in the City since yesterday after my most recent, miserable trip to Seneca Falls. Alex hadn’t freaking showed up. I couldn’t say I was surprised, nor could I blame her, but I’d really been hoping we could talk. Instead, I’d immersed myself in work at the house, probably one of my most productive times there. It was the first weekend since this project started that I hadn’t been distracted by Alex, even if every corner of the house still reminded me of her.

My chest ached when I pondered the future. What if she never came back to Seneca Falls? What if I never saw Alex again as long as I lived? I couldn’t imagine it, but it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility.

On Wednesday of last week, Alex had sent me a text to let me know that while she didn’t plan to abandon the Ryan’s House project, she needed a week or two off to clear her head before facing me again. Still, I’d spent the weekend holding out hope that she’d change her mind and show up anyway. She’d surprised me before. I supposed in the end she’d done me a favor by staying away, because how was I supposed to handle myself around her now? All I’d want to do was reach out and kiss her, hold her, comfort her, and I wouldn’t be able to do any of that. So maybe I should’ve been grateful she didn’t show up.

My phone rang, interrupting my thoughts. It was a number I didn’t recognize, but I picked up anyway.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Brayden. It’s Wells…Alex’s friend.”

My heart nearly stopped. “Is everything okay?” Why else would he be calling me?

“Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Didn’t mean to alarm you, loverboy. She’s fine…well, physically, anyway.”

That hurt to hear, but it wasn’t anything I didn’t already suspect.

“I went into her contacts to steal your number because I thought you and I should have a talk about the latest…happenings,” he continued.

I gulped. “Okay…”

“I know I may be overstepping here, but I’m doing so for her own good. Alex has been keeping everything bottled up inside.”

I shut my eyes for a moment. “How is she doing overall?”

“She’s really down. And I hate seeing it. She deserves so much happiness after everything she’s been through. What you and she were cooking up made her happier than I’d seen her in a while. And as her friend, I’m having a hard time watching her throw all that away for nothing.”

“I’d hardly call this dilemma nothing. It’s fucked up, but it’s not nothing.”

“Yeah, I get the conflict. Believe me, I do. She loves Caitlin more than anything. But you’re all adults, you know? It shouldn’t be this difficult. She’s sacrificing her own happiness for something that’s long in the past. It wasn’t like Caitlin was hung up on you or anything. You only came up again because you were dating Alex. Now all of a sudden, there’s a problem? All of a sudden you exist again? It doesn’t sit right with me that Alex should have to throw away her love life because of some college fling her daughter had a decade ago. I mean, I’m sure you’re a totally different person than you were then.”

“I am. But good luck convincing Alex she should disregard her daughter’s feelings, regardless of how much time has gone by. She’ll never do anything to upset her.”

“I realize convincing her to put her own happiness first in this equation is a tough sell. But I’m also a huge believer that what people don’t know won’t hurt them.”

I squinted. “What do you mean?”

“That brings me to the real reason I’m calling.”

“What’s that?”

“Alex and I are coming to New York City tomorrow.”

My heart skipped a beat. “Really?”

“I figured she wouldn’t have told you.”

“Safe assumption. We haven’t spoken since she texted last week to let me know she wouldn’t be coming upstate. What’s going on in the City?”

“A medical spa expo. We’re driving in tomorrow, and only going to be staying one night.”

Adrenaline coursed through me at the prospect of Alex coming to my city. The need to see her felt urgent. “Just one night, huh?”

“Yep,” he said. “Blink and you’ll miss us. I was thinking maybe you could, you know, happen to show up at the restaurant where we’ll be eating dinner.”

“I don’t know, man. Do you think she’ll want to see me if she’s been actively avoiding talking to me?”

“I realize she’d never initiate this, but I do think once she sees you, she’ll be happy you’re there. It will give you an opportunity to properly talk about what happened. I feel like she ran off so fast the weekend Caitlin was there, you didn’t have time to process any of this in private.”

I sighed. “Well, that’s the damn truth.”

“No pressure. I just thought you’d want to know she’s coming to town, because I knew she wouldn’t tell you herself.”

I nodded. “I appreciate you letting me know. Definitely text me where you guys end up going. I’m not sure yet if showing up is the right decision. I’ll need to think on it.”

“Will do.”

“And hey, the offer still stands for me to introduce you to my friend Deek,” I added. “Just let me know if you’re interested. Maybe not this trip since you’re only in town for one night. But next time.”

“No. I’m not interested in meeting your big, burly, tatted friend—said no one ever.” He chuckled. “Bring it on.”

***

It wasn’t like I’d been anxiously awaiting that text from Wells the following day or anything. I hadn’t eaten all day, nor done anything productive—another useless day at work.

Around four PM, my phone chimed. I hopped out of my seat to grab it.

Wells: Alex and I will be dining at Le Poulet at eight.

My finger hovered over the keypad for several minutes. I wasn’t ready to commit, so I bought myself some time.

Brayden: Thanks. I appreciate you letting me know. Gonna think about what’s best and get back to you.

I wanted to take the risk and just show up. But then my common sense would kick in and remind me I was probably the last person Alex wanted to have turn up at dinner.

Better than my common sense, though, was my friend who always set things straight. I really could use Billie’s advice on this situation. I went down to the tattoo shop to see if she had a moment to chat.

Billie held her hand up when she saw me standing there, and I waited while she finished with her client.

As soon as she was done, she walked over. “What’s going on, Brayden? You never come down here in the middle of the day.”

“I need your advice.”

She smiled. “I figured something must be up.”

“How much time do you have?”

“Half hour ’til my next client.” She grabbed her black fringed purse. “Let’s go grab coffee.”

Billie and I walked to the coffee shop around the corner as I filled her in on the latest developments—from finding out Kate is Alex’s Caitlin, to my dilemma over Alex being in New York.

She reached across the table. “Okay, first off, I’m so freaking sorry. What a shitty thing to happen.” She frowned. “Are you okay?”

“Not really. I’m still shook up over the whole thing.”

“So you haven’t decided whether to go to the restaurant tonight?”

“I don’t have a true sense of the right decision. I want to see her, but showing up also feels a bit stalkerish.”

Billie ran her finger over the rim of her cup. “Whether or not you go tonight should depend on what you hope to achieve. Despite her friend’s good intentions, if you don’t think it will change anything right now, it’s probably best that you not upset her this evening. On the other hand, if you feel her decision about you is not set in stone and she might weaken to your charms, maybe showing up will help. Don’t kill yourself mulling it over.” She leaned in. “Quick. Don’t think about it for more than a few seconds. What’s your gut feeling? Go!”

My gut feeling? It’s too soon.

I shook my head. “If there’s a chance in hell she’ll see this situation differently, it’s not going to be now. It will be down the road. So I think the main benefit of showing up would be to satisfy my own need to see her.”

“Well, you have your answer. It won’t achieve much. And might even upset her.”

“Yeah.” I sighed. “As much as I hate to admit it, I think it’s best if I don’t go.”

Billie took a sip of her coffee. Then she shook her head. “Damn.”

“What?”

“If only this Alex could see how down you look right now. She’d never doubt how serious you were about her.”

After I returned to my apartment, I texted Wells to let him know I wouldn’t be coming and thanked him for trying to help.

I spent the remainder of the evening second-guessing my decision and lamenting the fact that the woman I was crazy about was in my city, and I couldn’t even see her.

***

The last thing I expected the following day was a certain name lighting up my phone.

Alex.

My heart sped up as I answered. “Hello?”

“Hi.”

“This is a pleasant surprise,” I said.

“How are you?” she asked.

“I’ve been better. How are you?”

“I’m…actually in New York.”

“Really? What are you doing here?” I asked, feeling a bit guilty for faking my surprise.

“I’m here for a medical spa expo. Wells and I spent last night here, and we have to leave later this afternoon. I’ve felt strange being here without you knowing, for some reason. Everywhere I go, I keep thinking I’m going to run into you, though I know that’s unlikely in a city of eight-million people. What are the chances, right?”

“About the same as having accidentally dated your daughter in college?”

“That was bad.” She chuckled. “But true.”

“Well, I have to laugh so I won’t cry, right?” I blew out a breath. “How long ’til you have to leave?”

“A few hours.”

“Meet me for coffee,” I blurted. “Just coffee. Nothing more, Alex. Bring Wells.”

“Wells has plans with someone he met at the expo today, so it would just be me.”

“Okay, then I’d love to show you the building. We don’t even have to go inside. I would just like you to see it.”

After a brief pause, she said, “That’d be nice.”

I exhaled. “Can I call a car for you?”

“Okay. Yes. Thank you. I’d appreciate that.”

“There’s a café right around the corner from here. We can go there and talk until you have to go.”

A bit shocked that she’d agreed to meet me, I stopped short of leaping into the air for joy after we hung up. Don’t get your hopes up. It’s just coffee. She felt guilty for not telling you she was in New York. It doesn’t mean anything.

Thirty minutes later, I waited outside my building until the car showed up.

A breeze blew Alex’s long blond hair around as she exited the vehicle. She was so beautiful and looked amazing in a white peacoat and high-heeled boots. Her mouth curved into a smile when she spotted me standing there.

Instead of pulling her close and kissing her so damn hard, like I wanted to, I held out my hand. She took it. “Thank you for coming.” I squeezed before placing my other hand over hers.

Alex smiled and looked up at the building. “This is it, huh? The famous building?”

“It is.” I smiled proudly.

“It’s bigger than I imagined.”

If these were different times, I might’ve hit her with a sexual joke right then. But alas, I kept my mouth shut. “Come on. I’ll show you inside.”

Alex and I spent the next several minutes touring my property. I specifically didn’t show her my apartment, but we rode the elevator to the top floor, hung out on the rooftop for a bit, and wandered the hallways before heading back outside. I’d wondered if we would run into any of the guys—at least Holden, maybe, since he worked in the building doing maintenance—but no one turned up.

“I’m so glad I had a chance to see it,” Alex said as we stood together on the sidewalk after.

“Me too. I wish it were under different circumstances. But I’ll take what I can get.” I walked toward Billie’s storefront as she followed. “One more stop I want you to see.”

“Ah, this is the famous tattoo shop,” Alex said.

We peeked inside, but Billie wasn’t there. From the window, I pointed out Deek, who was busy inking someone. “That’s the guy I wanted to hook Wells up with.”

“Oh, he’s definitely Wells’s type.”

“Pretty sure he might be everyone’s type, and my type, too, if I swung that way.” I winked. “Come to think of it, my life would be a whole lot less complicated right now if I were gay.”

Alex smiled sadly.

“Come on.” I winked again. “Let’s get that coffee.”

Over at the café, Alex grabbed a table while I went to the counter to order her coffee, prepared just the way she liked it. I also got a few different kinds of pastry in case she was hungry.

“Are you trying to fatten me up so you no longer want me or something?” she asked, looking down at the sweets I’d brought to the table.

Like I could ever not want you. “I wasn’t sure what you felt like.” I shrugged. “Bring them back for Wells, if you’re not hungry.”

After a few minutes of sipping our coffee, as we alternated between staring into each other’s eyes and people watching through the window in silence, I finally asked, “So, tell me what’s going on with Caitlin…”

Alex stared down into her cup. “Believe it or not, we haven’t talked about anything since that weekend, and I haven’t seen much of her. That’s been unsettling. But at the same time, I don’t want to be the one to bring it up.”

I nodded. “I can understand why she’d want to forget the whole thing.” For all I knew, this time at the café might be my last opportunity to set some things straight. I didn’t want to waste it. “I didn’t have much of a chance to explain some things to you,” I told her. “Mainly, I’ve been holding back because I don’t want to come across as a bigger asshole than I already seem, given the circumstances.” I paused. “But I need you to know that the feelings I had for Kate back in college pale in comparison to what I feel for you. I don’t want to seem insensitive, but I’m not sure if she’s given you an accurate picture of what things were like between us.” I shook my head. “She and I were never serious. At least, that’s not where my heart was at the time. I never told your daughter I loved her. I never led her on.” I let out a breath.

Alex fidgeted in her seat. “That doesn’t make me feel any better, Brayden.”

I raised my voice. “I still need you to know.”

“Okay,” she muttered. “I understand.”

“I wish more than anything that things were different. But I can’t expect you to disregard her feelings. I understand the type of person you are and why your relationship with Caitlin would be more important than your own happiness. I can’t argue with that or ask you to change for me. But I want you to know that losing you will always be the biggest regret of my life.”

Alex’s eyes glistened as she looked down at her phone. “Shit. I have to go.”

“I’ll call you a car.” I pulled up the app and arranged for her ride.

Alex placed the pastries in her bag to take back for Wells.

As we stood on the sidewalk, quietly staring at each other, I could see the hurt in her eyes. But there was also something else: desire—even if she’d never allow herself to act on it.

I don’t know what came over me, but I suddenly voiced what I was thinking. “Do you ever dream about what might’ve happened if Caitlin hadn’t shown up that day? Because I dream about fucking you every damn night, Alex,” I rasped. “I probably always will.”

She swallowed.

I inched closer. “I understand why you need to hold back. But I have nothing holding me back right now.” I leaned in, taking her lips with mine before backing her against the wall of a building.

Alex panted over my mouth as she received my kiss.

“I’ll stop if you want me to,” I murmured.

Instead of saying anything, her tense body loosened as she succumbed, a moan escaping her. Alex raked her fingers through my hair as she pulled me close. I cradled her face as my tongue dove deeper into her mouth, tasting her coffee. The world faded around us. I couldn’t have cared less about the droves of people passing by and getting a load of this spectacle. My cock grew hard as a rock as I pressed my body against hers.

She was the first to pull back.

We were both out of breath as I rubbed my thumb along her swollen bottom lip and looked into her glassy eyes. “I don’t care if I go to hell for that. It was damn well worth it.”