The murder card

Dear diary, the three days I waited for Ian’s answer have long passed. He didn’t show up when we were supposed to meet, so I guess that was his answer. Unless he got caught and is being kept somewhere, I hope that is not the case. I did get him everything I could, just in time, because soon after the night we were supposed to meet, I got demoted. Wasn’t that much of a surprise really, I wasn’t good at that job, mainly because my focus was elsewhere. I know I have valuable information in my hands, I just don’t know how I will get it to Ian. He won’t make contact with me and I don’t know how to get in touch with him, I just know I have to do it soon. Now I don’t even care if he forgives me or not, all I want to do is help him and bring the truth to light. If he was able to change my mind, he can convince the masses that not everything is right and we need to stand up and chance things. If anyone can do it, it’s him. But he can’t do it, not without help or solid proof and I know if I could just get to him, he would benefit from my snooping around greatly. Never before have I related to a saying, “hope dies last” so much before. Only in this dire time, I feel how true it really is. It’s the only thing keeping me going. Hope I will find Ian soon, hope that he will forgive and hope he will see me for who I really am, someone he can trust.