The Kingdom of Secrets and Ruin

Dalliah

I didn’t think I would care that much for another country in the kingdom, but Yeolan was refreshing. It might not be far enough for me to run when the time comes, but I’ve enjoyed my time there all the same.

We’ve been treated to succulent food, new types of music and the freedom to explore the castle grounds while Ruairi does whatever is needed of him by this tour.

The fact we’ve had to move onto the next stop so soon almost upset me, and I wonder if it’s because I keep going back to that library on the off chance there’ll be another copy of my book. I suppose Ethrial, the next country will have their own library, and I’ll have a better chance of finding a book there that I’ve not already burnt… but I’m not exactly excited.

While the people we’re travelling with are full of life and banter, the second we crossed the border a few days ago was like entering a ghost town. The citizens here are thin, pale and exhausted, which makes me feel rather guilty when we stop to camp near some of their towns.

If I’m not mistaken, our resources seem to double theirs and yet we’re on the move, so how is that possible?

They’re not willing to talk either, as I’ve gone to question a few when trying to find someone alone, but the two women I approached flinched when addressed and avoided eye contact like it might kill them.

All I could do in the end was offer my remaining supplies from the last meal, which was like a drop in the ocean for what they really seemed to need.

It feels wrong, and I find myself retreating from the others more, unsure of how this came to be and how on earth they can let it continue. Surely someone in this group must have known what to expect ahead of time?

I’m not the only one who has been affected by it either, which makes my reaction less conspicuous to the court. Odelina can barely speak when confronted with them, as she’s too busy hardening her face into an unreadable mask. We might be close and share a reaction though, but that doesn’t mean the question haunting my mind will ever leave my lips.

Has this happened before or after the war?

“I think I’ll give our game a miss tonight, Dalliah.” Odelina sips at the wine we opened at dinner, and clutches the mug to her chest that she has been nursing it for the last 2 hours.

Logic would suggest that we take this time to sleep as one more leg will have us reaching our destination, but it’s easier said than done. Despite a hearty meal I feel empty in a way and like my companion, find myself looking towards the hills where the residents lie.

Have they had their fill? Can I do something other than just sit here and wonder?

I turn to her to make my leave, too restless to sit here for a second longer, only to find her rising from her seat on the ground already. She’s biting her lip so hard it’s a wonder it doesn’t bleed and before I can say something to make her stop, I realise I’m doing the exact same.

“A walk?” She asks, nodding towards the hills on both of our minds.

“A walk.” I agree.

The sun has long since disappeared, adding a chill to the air, but our lanterns are more than able to light our way and we’ll warm up on the journey. As we leave the camp though, I’m half surprised we’re not being followed by the likes of Avery, but don’t dare say it as Odelina seems stressed enough.

I like that she cares so much, even if she might be the only one.

We don’t talk, something that doesn’t bother either of us even on a normal day. But we keep pace with each other and ignore the burning in our legs as we start climbing the hill. I’d kill for a drink of water but we’ve left all but our cloaks and lanterns behind.

It’s only when we’re near the top where my lungs are more open to talking, that I realise what it means for us to have left everything and the guilt threatens to eat me alive.

We have so many supplies back at the camp, why didn’t we grab some? Dried beef or apples could have made all the difference to some of these people and I’ve never felt like such a fool.

“We should have-” I start to explain my thoughts, contemplating a journey back down only to return again when she interrupts me, not bothering to look up in the process.

“I have coin, keep going.”

Relief floods through me not just because of her confession, but due to the ground finally evening out. Sweat appears to cover both of us with the skirts we’re forced to wear as women of court, clinging to our bodies. I bet this would have been easier if I were still dressed as a maid and I could have brought Namless as well, instead of leaving him asleep in our tent.

“Do you think they’ll be awake?” Odelina asks as we approach the first house.

It’s dark with no sign of life behind the windows which makes me worry we were too late in making our trip. It would do more trouble than good to wake working people as they try to find what little rest they can, and I’m frustrated again that I didn’t think of this sooner.

At least Odelina has never lived like this to know what it’s like to finally be free to sleep it off. I, however, have no excuses.

We walk through a small set of homes, finding the same darkness in all of the rest as well. It’s odd, I think for them all to be asleep, as there was always someone awake back in the castle but I suppose this is different, they aren’t in service and work for their bread differently.

I almost move to see if she wants to give up before we smell the sharp tang of smoke up ahead. It seems out of place in a town empty of life, but there’s no choice but to follow it as Odelina takes off ahead of me.

She’s surprisingly fast and clearly a lot fitter than I am. Which doesn’t take much and I know I’ll be to drag up in the morning, thankfully there is a wagon with my name on it instead of trying to balance on one of the horses.

“Please will you slow-” For the second time tonight my words stop in my mouth, but it’s only because the cause of the fire is now known.

Avery, Tedric and Ruairi are in the centre of a crowd, cooking large slabs of meat over open flames and ladling hot thick soup into bowls. The people that are waiting around them are wide eyed, chatting to each other excitedly and I even see a few smile for the first time since entering this region.

Quickly, Odelina and I step forward to join them, organising the queue in order of those waiting the longest, and maintaining the fire with the piles of wood the men must have brought with them along with the food.

I get several splinters as I try breaking the logs up to have them last longer, but I can’t find it in myself to care. This is the most useful I’ve felt in a while and there’s no denying that deep down it feels good.

It doesn’t matter who I’m travelling with, what wrong has been done to me because I have a purpose just now and people who need me. For the first time since I decided on my plan to leave, I have a glimpse of what I might actually want to do when I arrive on the other side.

It makes me hopeful.

“Courtesy of the Red King.” Ruairi shouts over the crowd as some hesitate to step forward. It’s clear that they’re wondering if there will be a cost to this generosity as they dig their hands deep into empty pockets.

Thankfully his words have relaxed them and the traffic of people picks up, making sure nobody runs the risk of leaving hungry tonight.

I look at my Odelina as soon as I hear him and there’s a smile on her face that could light up the whole sky as she looks at her brother in pure admiration. He was able to do what we couldn’t have even attempted and it’s clear that despite all of this effort, nobody knows that the Red King in question is the one serving them.

But I do.