The Kingdom of Secrets and Ruin

Dalliah

My body feels like it’s been covered with weights that are pinning me to the ground. My arms, legs and even my stomach aches from all of the walking last night, but despite all this, my face breaks out into a smile.

We made so many people happy last night, well Ruairi did with the food he provided, but I helped and I loved it. Children were laughing by the fire, parents had the comfort of seeing their family well-fed, and I got to see yet another side of Rhu.

As that’s what he called himself, formalities and status thrown out of the window in order to make those people, his people, happy. I bet hell would have had to freeze over before my father would do the same, and the traitorous thought against my own family feels like a kick in the shin.

It’s getting harder to stay loyal to the memory of the man who hid me and faked my death, who helped invade those islands and start the war. But at the same time, Ruairi isn’t innocent either because it wasn’t just my father who was punished, it was my mother and siblings who did nothing to deserve their fate. It would have been my fate as well if he knew my true name, and could still be if I don’t be more careful.

My mind hurts from all of its conflicting thoughts, so much so that I don’t notice the package until it falls onto Nameless causing him to shriek in protest.

Who’s been in here while I was asleep?

The question scares me, and I try to calm myself with the idea that it’s just Odelina leaving me something. She’s entered my space a few times since the tour started and I wouldn’t mind as much if that were the case. Only it’s hard to believe that when the rough script written across it looks nothing like her elegant hand.

’For Dalliah’ stares up at me, two words posing a thousand questions and my hands shake as I untie the string and paper covering whatever lies inside.

It’s a book.

Not just any book but my book, the original copy of the one I burnt and the one I’ve been dying to finish ever since this whole invasion started. I assumed it would have been left in my tower along with the rest of my things, then brought into the library when Ruairi’s people had time to clear through it. But now it’s here on my lap with the same crumpled front page I ruined when I fell asleep as I first started it.

How did it get here?

I put it to the side and look through the wrapping I’ve discarded, finding a note hidden amongst the mess. I’m almost too scared to read it for a second but curiosity wins out in the end.

“Keep away from fire.”

The message is short, witty and a simple way of letting me know that this came from Ruairi. He must have sent for it the same night I burned the other back in Yeolan, but never mentioned it.

I’m speechless, this gesture is so sweet that it almost brings tears to my eyes. As other than from my mother, I’ve never received a gift before and it couldn’t have been more perfect if he tried. It carries a string that takes me back to my previous life, and is innocent enough that nobody would suspect me for my indulgence.

“Are you ready in there?” Odelina calls through the doorway of my tent, shaking me from my thoughts and I jerk up, running my hands through my hair as if just caught doing something wrong.

“Yes-I… Yes.” I sigh, knowing that we’re due another leg on the road and I hurt all over, but at least it’s time I can spend reading.

It’s a good thing that the deal was to be Ruairi’s companion on this tour and not Odelina’s, as I’ve not been much company at all these last few hours. My nose has been stuck inside my book and finally, I now know how the count sought his revenge and found peace.

It’s better than any of the silly theories I came up with and the writing puts me to shame, which doesn’t take much to be honest. The only problem is, now that I’ve finished, I long for someone to talk to about it and there’s none.

Odelina is being fitted for a dress to replace the ones she’s been forced to lend me, and the men are in some high-priority meeting that started the second their feet hit the ground of this keep. Nobody has said anything, but the tension in the air could double as a tightrope and I wonder if it has anything to do with the conditions we met on the way. I hope so at least.

Especially after the effort Ruairi went to last night.

The fact that the Red King, the ruler of the continent here on a simple tour, was forced to do what Ethrial’s leader should have done days ago, speaks volumes. I just regret that between helping keep the fire going and handing out bowls, I never got a chance to ask how this all happened.

Then again, would they tell me? Or would they just see me as another outsider now in their land?

At least those few got a couple of hours to forget their worries and were left with enough supplies that will keep them going for a week. It gave me a glimpse of what life outside of a castle could be like and I just need to figure out how I can take my skills and apply them to an occupation.

I suppose it’s a good thing that I have a chance to think.

For the first time, well, ever, I find myself wishing to talk to him. I want to thank him for the gift and make sure that his kindness doesn’t go unnoticed, even if it feels like I’m being torn in two while doing so.

There’s also the subject of last night. Seeing him charm and feed his people is yet another reason showing me that my initial prejudice was wrong. Well not wrong, but… I don’t know. He isn’t what I thought he was, that much I can own up to and I think even my family would forgive me for saying so.

He’s not violent, rude or as arrogant as I thought and maybe there have been some times where I’ve been in the wrong. Like holding my history against him while he doesn’t have the same luxury. Not that I could ever tell him the truth.