The Broken and the Dead

I fell asleep in their room and Karen woke me gently around 5 A.M.

“Come on Johnny, the strike team is getting ready to go.”

I blinked several times then rubbed my eyes. I looked up to see Karen staring at me with a weird smile.

“What?” I asked.

“Oh nothing.” she said.

Then she rubbed the top of my head and said,

“Hurry up doofus.”

Then she giggled and pulled me up off the floor. I barely had time to grab my rifle as she pulled me out the door. Our feet sounded like a herd of cattle rumbling down the stairs. Everyone was up and busy. The MRAP and the Humvee were running and their doors stood open. There was Lieutenant Klein helping one minute and barking orders the next, her short, dirty blond hair framing her face. Worry lines furrowed her brow, her hawkish face and intelligent eyes assured me that she would not leave anything to chance. I suddenly wished Tucker was going with them, he had the habit of doing what was needed when things didn’t go as expected. I realized I didn’t see Tucker but when I looked up I saw him on over watch. A rifle I had never seen before cradled in his arms and the binoculars held to his eyes, scanning the horizon.

My sister Elaine came up to me and hugged me tight, she whispered that she loved me and watch out for Lucy, then she added if I told anyone what she said she would kick my ass. I whispered that I loved her too and to come back soon. She stepped away and gave me a playful punch on the shoulder. She was wearing combat fatigues, her holster with her Russian seven-shooter on her hip. An M-4 slung over her right shoulder and her red bandana tied around her head to complete her outfit, Rico smiled at me and he followed Elaine towards the MRAP. I watched her climb into the war machine and I saw she was strong and brave and I was terribly proud of her. So different from the cell phone addicted nearly frantic teen from day one. I turned and saw Kyle and Karen hugging and then he turned to me and shook my hand before following Rico and Elaine.

I saw Lucy nearly asleep in Mrs. Hardy’s arms. Suddenly I felt sick, my stomach rumbled and I was afraid I would I would either vomit or mess myself. Karen threaded her arm in mine and asked if I was okay, she said I looked pale. I muttered that I was fine but she must have realized that was a lie because she pulled me close and laid her head on my shoulder then she whispered

“I’m not either.”

I realized two things that morning: I didn’t care that she was taller than me and yes, she was my girlfriend. Then just like that they were in the vehicles were gone:

Rico and Elaine, Kyle and Deputy Weir, Mrs. Driscol and Mrs. West, Lieutenant Klein, Janey and Kelsey. My friends and my family. I trembled as I realized I might never see them again, Karen said

“Let’s all get some breakfast.”

As we headed back up the stairs I saw Mrs. Boudreaux, Mrs. King, and the Livingstons watching the distant tail lights disappear behind the tree line at the bottom of the hill. I realized that they were just as nervous, just as scared as I was. We all stared hugging and I thought it was going to turn into a cry fest when Mr. Livingston said

“Come on now tears ain’t gonna help no one, we got lots of work to do and we can’t do it on no empty stomach!”

From the bottom of the steps Lucy’s tiny, sleepy voice said

“Ain’t is not a word Grampa Livingston.”

Then the strong voice of Mrs. Livingston added

“You tell him sweetheart.”

Everyone laughed, even in her sleep Lucy was always ready to correct improper English, I laughed at the image of her in front of a bunch of kids teaching school, the I realized that would never happen.

I don’t remember what was for breakfast, but I do remember that we switched from silence to kidding around several times as different people tried to lighten the mood. It sort of worked. We set out things for us to do because as Mr. Livingston pointed out,

“That for us to sit around and do nothing while the others were gone was just plain selfish.”

There was garden work, cleaning, dishes, cooking, and weapon maintenance, over watch, and someone was to be watching Lucy, Gina, and Jordan while they worked or had play time. I was to take over watch from Tucker at eight, I had a little time so I took some, well, unwanted bits to the monster in the cage.

The monster seemed to be getting used to me because it didn’t get agitated when it saw me, it didn’t run and cower like it did when Tucker was around. I gave it the food then as I turned to sit in my regular spot I saw that Tucker had put a bunch of those little orange flags that you used to see at construction sites in a long row, each was about 10 yards between them. I sighed, another experiment. Another way to torture, what should I call it? It was a monster but I was getting tired of the generic term, we needed a name for them and Zombie was just incorrect. I sat down and watched it eat.

“Who were you before?” I asked.

It looked at me for a moment then returned to its meal.

“You will never get back to what you were before will you?” I asked.

I wondered what Billy would say, and I suddenly felt guilty for not thinking of him more often. I suddenly thought of the kind of name that Billy would have suggested: a Zarn. A Gorron, or a Draith, something like that, something alien, something scary. It made me laugh out loud, this startled the prisoner and it looked at me like it had never heard that before, and then I had it, I knew what it was; a Before.

I tried its name out a few times:

“Oh my, look out it’s a Before!”

“Is that a bear or a Before?”

“What were Befores before?”

“There are a least three or four Befores down there!”

The creature sat and watched me, it’s four part eyes moving in and out with each sentence as if it were trying to process it. The creature’s eyes went very wide, so much the exoskeleton shields were completely invisible and suddenly two shiny plates opened on its underside where the butt should be and brown liquid sprayed onto the ground. I laughed out loud again and the Befores eyes returned to normal as if to say “really?” I couldn’t stop laughing and said aloud

“Does a Before shit in the woods?”

The Before just sat there and watched me. I rose and told it that I would be back around dinner time. I stopped for a moment and said

“I’m sorry this happened to you.”

It clicked and whistled in response.

I was only a few minutes late but since I didn’t have a watch I figured that was okay. Tucker was scanning the horizon, he handed me the binoculars.

“Hey, John. There is either a fire or a dust cloud off to the East, best keep an eye on that.”

He said. I took them and asked him about the new rifle.

“Ahh, this is a Marlin guide gun, lever action, in .45-70.”

He said as he reached into his shirt pocket and handed me a huge round.

“Cheese whiz!” I said as I looked at it. “That thing is a cannon”.

“Yep, ’supposed to kill anything in North America, those are 405 grain bullets as opposed to the 55 grain ones in the M-16.”

I handed it back and said “I hope so.”

“Tucker, where is your Thompson?” I asked.

“I gave it to Amy, just in case.”

He smiled sadly and started to head downstairs.

“Hey Tucker,” I said and he stopped “do you think they will all make it back?” I asked.

He stood there for a moment and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn’t at all sure.

“I hope so.” was all he said.

Time seemed to crawl by, I didn’t see the smoke he described, not at first but eventually I found it, it was like a smudge in the sky, far off in the distance but it bothered me. It didn’t look natural. I kept checking the perimeter but my attention was drawn back to the smudge, it had looked larger for a while but now it looked as if it was getting fainter again. Mr. Livingston came up just after lunch, he was carrying a shotgun, all black, long and deadly looking. It was one of the semi-auto 12’s we had picked up at the gun shop. We talked for a bit then I gave him the binoculars and showed him about where the smoke had been spotted.

Something wasn’t right, I could feel it in my bones, in my stomach in my heart. I sat at the lunch table and looked at the clock. One P.M. five hours to go. I swallowed hard and felt the butterflies return. Mrs. Boudreaux brought me my plate, there were beans and canned pears with toast and a big glass of some kind of energy drink they made from a powder. When I finished I took the plate into the kitchen and asked her where Tucker was.

“I think he has gone up to that monster of his.” she said.

I didn’t want to see whatever it was he was doing so I decided to go find Lucy and Karen. Mrs. Hardy and Mrs. King with the girls were going over a bunch of coats, looking for damage, missing buttons, and broken zippers, whatever. I didn’t have to ask because Lucy explained that they were

“Getting all the coats ready for the snow that would be falling from the sky at any moment!”

Then she explained that she and Gina and Jordan were having a contest to see who could find the first pair of matching snowflakes.

“Really?” I said, trying not to laugh.

“Is that right girls?” I asked. Gina and Jordan both nodded vigorously, their big brown eyes reminding me of that little rabbit in that cartoon about the baby deer. That memory made me laugh too.

Back downstairs I went, 1:30, four and a half hours to go. I reminded myself that it only four and a half until the ambush, the strike team wasn’t due back till early the next morning. Karen and I walked out the front door and down the steps, I missed the MRAP of all things, I decided I liked the presence of the big steel vehicle and I missed it. We stepped out into the yard and I looked up at the over watch. I didn’t see Mr. Livingston but he might be walking the perimeter. We walked in silence down the drive towards the highway. When we reached the tree line we wandered among the trees even though it was fall and it was actually cool you wouldn’t notice it as long as you stayed in the sun but here in the shadows it was darn right cold. Karen stopped and turned to me she took my hands in hers. She stared at me for a minute before she spoke,

“We are boyfriend and girlfriend right?” she asked.

“Ummm, yeah of course.” I answered.

“Then we should make it official.” She said.

“How do we do that?” I asked, not being real sure of the rules.

“We kiss.” She said.

Her cheeks turned bright pink. You know, when a pretty girl says something like that most guys do one of two things, some jump on the opportunity, some freeze up. I bravely did the latter. Karen took the rifle from my shoulder then we held hands, our fingers laced together. I realized I was getting dizzy because I was forgetting to breathe. She leaned over towards me, closed her eyes and puckered her lips. My God, I realized that she was incredibly beautiful and I really, really, really wanted to kiss those amazing lips. So I closed my eyes and gently pressed my lips to hers.

I want to tell you something, life can be scary, brutal, bloody, and painful but in that instance, that very moment I understood why people endure it all. That kiss was the single greatest moment in my life up till then and I thought it would never be bettered but I was wrong. She kissed me again and our arms wrapped around each other. My God, I loved her. I wished that moment would never end, she was strong and smart and we were together. I don’t know if it was 5 minutes or ten or two hours but I finally realized I was hearing engines, lots of them.

“Come with me.” I said.

Picking up my rifle I took Karen by the hand and we made our way to the highway side of the tree line. Coming down the highway was a school bus surrounded by at least forty motorcycles. Chained to the grill of the bus was David from the Post Office, I was furious, David was a dick but he didn’t deserve this, no one did. The bikes slowed as did the bus, they pulled over and crossed the over grown grass strip onto the service road. They were looking for us. Damn.

We ran crouched over just inside the tree line making our way towards the shooting blind. I heard a shotgun blast then another. They were answered by a rattling of rifle and pistol fire; Mr. Livingston was giving it a go. We reached the blind and scamper up the ladder and inside. The big .50 caliber rifle was gone but one of the Moisans that we had carried all the way from Tuckers house was there, it was scoped and there was an open metal can with at least 200 round in it. I handed the M-4 to Karen and said

“Fire when I do, okay?” and she nodded.

Fear and desperation in her eyes I wanted to tell her it would be okay but that would be a lie so I just smiled instead. I looked through the scope and choose a target, he was near the back and had what I thought was an AK-47 in his hands. Nearer still were three men and a woman taking cover on our side of the school bus.

“Karen, fire as many rounds as you can at those four by the bus, okay?” I said.

She nodded. There was another blast from the roof and when the invaders returned fire I blew AK-47s head off. Karen opened up on the ones by the bus, she had wounded at least two and the others looked like they couldn’t figure out where the shooting was coming from. One man started running and Karen cut the legs out from under him. The woman looked around, I saw the panic in her eyes, and I shot her in the chest, center mass as Tucker would say. It looked like she had been yanked back against the bus by a giant rubber band. She hit so hard the bus actually rocked a little. I tried to pick another target but they were hidden by the bus from my line of fire.

I looked over at Karen, she was frozen, probably in shock. The M-4 was silent, she had emptied the 30 round clip but in doing so had reduced their numbers considerably. I took out my M-9, racked the slide, took off the safety and handed it to her, she set the M-4 down and took the 9-M and waited patiently for me to reload and pack as many rounds as I could into my pockets. We stared at each other and I quickly kissed her and said

“Come on.”

We flew down the ladder and out of the woods towards the bus, if I could not see them then they couldn’t see us, most likely.

We scrambled across the grass and the gravel and leaned up against the bus. The four attackers were either dead or unconscious, all except the one whose legs had been shredded by Karen. He was moaning and started to crawl over to us,

“Help me! Please don’t shoot. Please.”

He was pathetic, maybe 19 years old; I know he was in agony, his wounds may have been fatal I don’t know. Karen trembled next to me and the pistol in her hand trembled as she shakily pointed it at him. I reached up and slowly pointed it to the ground and shook my head when she looked at me. I left the long Russian battle rifle and rose and headed over to him.

“Thank you! Thank you, kid I promise I won’t let them hurt you. Thank you.” He said.

Before he could say anything else I squatted on his back, drew my dagger, pulled his head back by the hair and drew the gleaming blade as viciously as I could across his throat. Just like Tucker had shown me. Disgusted by the spray of crimson blood and the huge pool of it expanding around my feet. I got up and ran back to Karen who was looking at me just the way I looked at Tucker and it made me sick.

I forced myself to look away from her and grabbed the Moisan Nagant and started to crawl under the bus to see what I might see. Karen was next to me, she had picked up the AK-47 and she handed me back the M-9. I put it in my holster and pointed at the charging handle of the AK. She slipped it back just a little and then let it go back, she nodded telling me it was ready to rock and roll. We peeked out at the front steps where the motorcycle gang was keeping Mr. Livingston pinned down with sporadic rifle and pistol fire. Twice he shoved the Stoeger shotgun over the edge and pulled the trigger, the second time one of the men attacking us, an older guy wearing a black leather jacket cursed as at least one 00 pellet and probably more got him in the shoulder and he went down.

Then I saw four of them rush up the stairs and a huge fat man kicked in the front doors only to be blown back by a huge blast. I shifted my gaze and saw Mrs. Livingston holding their old hammer shotgun, smoke trailing from both barrels. The fat guy rolled down the stairs and two of the others had to scramble to keep from being rolled over by their own buddy but the last one, he was on the porch and had stepped aside to let the fat guy attack the door. He held out a pistol and fired 4 times and I saw Mrs. Livingston fall away, and I heard screaming from inside. At first I thought it was Lucy but I realized that it was in French and from a woman far too old to be my little sister. There were more shots from inside and the two other guys had recovered and followed their buddy inside. Two more started up the stairs and I put a 7.62x54 right between his shoulder blades, I worked the bolt but before the other guy could turn around Karen sprayed him with 3 rounds from the AK-47.

Well that was it, they knew we were out here now. Several of the bikers turned and started to fire at us. A spray of gravel came up and I heard Karen scream in pain. I fired and missed, the biker started to head toward us thinking he must have got us both. He didn’t and he didn’t live long enough to figure that out. My next shot entered right at the chin and blew the back of his head out. Mr. Livingston was up and fired again, he must have reloaded because I think his shotgun only held five. Another biker was taken from the side, just under his arm pit, he had been pointing a big revolver at me. Another blast from the roof and another biker spun around and to the ground, several large holes appearing on the side of his face. Then I saw Mr. Livingston go down hard, his arms flailed wide when a large red stain appeared in the middle of his chest.

The remaining bikers split into two groups, four or five started to encircle me and the rest ran inside. I felt Karen pulling my legs, dragging me back from under the bus, I let her and we both got up and ran into the woods. Bullets hummed through the leaves around us, twigs flew from the trees. I remembered Tucker telling me that they sounded like huge bees flying by your ear. He was right.

Karen and I ran as fast as we could, ducking, diving, and zig-zagging. We ducked under a fallen tree and slid down a gully into a dry ravine. It ran parallel to the gravel drive so we turned 90 degrees and headed up hill. The sound of our pursuers growing a little more distant and when a huge elderberry bush appears we dove underneath it and lay in the grass. I reloaded the Moisan and she checked her magazine, she her hand up twice with her fingers splayed. Ten rounds left, I had plenty but the bolt action rounds wouldn’t fit in the AK. So we lay there silently.

I heard several small rounds, like a .22 or something then a shotgun blast and they too were silenced. “My sister” was all I could say and I started to climb back up the side of the ravine.

“Wait! Johnny! Wait!” Karen pleaded.

“We have got to do something, we can’t leave them like that.”

She looked at me and I knew she was scared, Hell, I was scared but we just couldn’t. Then I heard a huge gun go off and then there was an explosion and smoke rose from the far side of the lodge. Then a second explosion even louder than the first, this one from the circle drive and there was actually a black mushroom cloud, like a mini-nuke. Then a terrible blast, almost like an explosion but not quite, there were screams of agony and rage, then a second round and a third.

“Tucker.” I said.

We heard the bikers who had been following us run back towards the lodge to face the new threat.

“Come on” I whispered.

Together Karen and I started up the hill. We made it to the side of the building and I peeked around front, at least two of the motorcycles had been blown to bits and most of the others had been tossed around as if by a giant child having a tantrum, burning gasoline was everywhere. Several newly dead bikers had joined their pals on the ground. Several others were on fire and two more I recognized as some of the ones who had been following Karen and me were dead, I know this because the one wearing a fringed jacket was missing his head and the guy wearing an army fatigue jacket covered in patches had his guts spread out all over the front yard.

There was two more bikers still standing both were firing into the woods, I turned to Karen and she nodded we opened up on them from behind. My first shot missed but my second took the closer ones’ knee out from behind, it practically severed his lower leg. Karen fired at least 8 times and two hit home and while my target pitched backwards, Karen’s fell forward.

“All right kiddies that’s enough!” came a loud, harsh voice. “COME ON OUT OR LIL’ BIT HERE TAKES A DIVE!”

I heard a little girl screaming, it was Lucy, a huge guy, like professional wrestler huge, was on the roof and was holding her by one foot, dangling her over the edge of the building. He was pointing a revolver at her head.

I looked at Karen, I wanted to tell her to run away, but before I could she took my hand and stepped out from the side of the building. I lay the rifle down and followed her.

“Son of a bitch!” they really are kids.

A voice called from behind the big man and several others stepped up next to him.

“Kids that killed a bunch of our guys Dumbass.” Big Man responded.

“Okay, we gave up, please let the little girl go.” Karen begged.

She had her hands on her hips like she does when she is ready for a fight. Big Man lifted her a little higher, shoved her head with the barrel of his revolver so she swung out over the edge and he laughed.

“Oh stop it Carl.” A woman’s voice called from somewhere on the roof and soon a rail thin woman wearing jeans and a black tee shirt appeared and she grabbed Lucy from Big Man and turned her upside right and carried her away from the ledge. I could barely hear what she was saying to my screaming little sister but it sounded like

“He won’t hurt either of you. Honey, I won’t let him...” or something along those lines.

“Jenna! God damn it don’t interrupt when I am ...” Big Man started to say when another blast echoed and the Big Man fell forward, the back of his head caved in.

Tucker.

A second blast and another biker went down as he tried to back away from the ledge.

“COME ON!” I yelled.

I pulled the M-9 from the holster. The dumb ass bikers hadn’t even told me to take it out of the holster, of course maybe they didn’t have time. I started up the stairs, Karen behind me and I saw Tucker coming out of the woods on the far side of the drive. He had that big lever gun and smoke was coming from its barrel. Karen stopped and picked up a shotgun from the ground, it was weird looking with a top folding stock,

“How do you work this” she asked.

Tucker showed her a little lever or button or something on the side and how to pull the pump towards you and push it back to load a new shell. I stepped over the Fat Man’s intestines into the entry hall. Mrs. Livingston’s body looked small and broken on the floor in front of me, three holes in a line going across her chest. I felt bile and hatred for the killer and I swore I would have revenge. I looked further down and saw Mr. Lowe’s body, there was a single perfect hole in his forehead, he looked, well. Surprised. I hadn’t seen him firing but from the pile of empty casings around his body he had been very active in our defense before they got him. He died trying to protect the others, he died doing what he had to do. Tucker and Karen followed me in, I heard a scream from the kitchen and started that way but someone started shooting at me from the top of the stairs. I dove behind one of the couches and popped up to return fire. Karen fired the 12 gauge and she was knocked on her butt for the effort by the recoil. A man came out of the kitchen and he had me dead to rights but he was knocked down by a shot from Tucker, he had that damn .41 Colt in his hand and he headed into the kitchen; the swinging door going back and forth behind him.

Two more blasts from his revolver and then there was banging and clanging and crashing from in there. Again I started that way but yet another biker appeared at the top of the stairs, he w3asa bald and tall with a strange tattoo on his neck that looked like a blue bruise against his pale white skin. He was holding a pistol sideways like thugs do on TV, he looked like an idiot. It didn’t work, every time he fired he was further and further off target, which was fine since I was the target. He had never learned about weapon support it seemed. Apparently he didn’t even know to keep his wrist ridged so the pistol action could do its job because his weapon jammed. I raised my pistol, sight alignment, sight picture, center mass, double tap, and down he went. Just like that.

Tucker appeared at the door, he was bleeding from his right side but he still held his revolver in his right hand. Tucker nodded up the stairs and I started up them with Karen behind me and I could hear Tucker wheezing along behind. When we got to the landing I saw that the last biker I had shot wasn’t wearing any pants. Gross. He was still breathing but his eyes had that glazed over look, I didn’t waste a bullet. At the top of the stairs Karen turned right, I went left, I checked the rooms at my end but they were empty, when I turned back I saw Karen backing out of a room, a look of horror on her face. I started to run to her, she saw me coming and she quickly pulled the door shut.

“NO!” she yelled.

She turned me towards the door that led to the stairs to the roof.

“We have to find Lucy and Gina!” she yelled.

Tucker got to the door first having just made the landing.

He pulled the door open from the side but no one shot down at us. He looked over at Karen and motioned that he wanted the shotgun. She traded for his revolver and he said quietly,

“Two hands Karen, two hands, like I showed you.”

She nodded. Tucker started up the stairs when I heard a man call down to us.

“Mister? We are done OKAY?” another man’s voice said “Let us go and we promise we will not hurt the girls.”

A woman’s voice said “Damn right you won’t hurt these little girls” and I heard Lucy crying. Tucker looked back at me then shook his head no, but when he turned back to the voices from upstairs he said

“Alright, alright, how do we do this?”

One of the men yelled down

“Lay down your guns and back out into the front yard!”

“Not a chance in Hell douche bag.” Tucker responded.

“How about this, you lay down your guns and we will let you go.”

There was a murmur of discussion and then

“No can do, brother”

“We gotta find another way.” the other man yelled down.

There was a moment then Tucker called back,

“First, you are not my brother, second I think we can do this. A little bit at a time, you send one guy out with a girl, when they are outside he waits. Then you send a second guy out, no kid, when is outside they let the little girl go.”

The woman’s voice finished the plan,

“When she is safe I come out with the last girl and when I am downstairs I let her go.”

Tucker added, “Before you touch the door. Agreed?”

Again there was silence then one of the men yelled down that they agreed. Tucker stepped back and we made a path for them.

“Alright, we are ready.” Tucker yelled up.

A moment later a biker came down the narrow stairs, one arm around Gina, the other held a pistol. The biker was short and thin with a narrow face, he was trembling and I thought he might cry. We all pointed our weapons at him but didn’t fire. We watched him go all the way down the stairs and out the door.

“Okay, we are out.” he called up to the roof.

“No shit” said an annoying voice from the roof, “I can see you, you idiot.”

A moment later a second biker appeared, Lucy nowhere in sight. He held his rifle pointed at the roof at first but when he saw we were targeting him he slowly responded. He backed down the stairs and joined the other guy, a moment later Gina came running up the stairs to us. Karen grabbed her and hugged her tight, she picked her up and went into her room.

“Okay, here I come.” said the woman.

I heard her reassure Lucy that everything was going to be okay that a deal was a deal. She started down the stairs I looked over to Tucker who mouthed to me

“Follow. Them. Down.” I nodded.

The woman had a tiny pistol, smaller than anything I had ever seen but she wasn’t pointing it at Lucy. She started down the stairs and I followed her, making sure that she heard me.

“Okay let her go.” I said.

The woman turned and set Lucy down, she knelt in front of her and pulled Lucy’s hair out of her eyes.

“See honey, I told you it would be okay.”

She let Lucy run up the stairs to me and Lucy wrapped her arms around me. The woman said quietly “I’m sorry, really I am.”

And she stepped out the door. I heard a couple of the motorcycles start up then suddenly I heard rifle fire from the roof. It sounded like an M-4, just like mine, a .308. There were screams outside and then silence except for one of the motorcycles that continued to run. A moment later Tucker appeared from the roof, M-4 in his hands.

“We had an agreement” I said.

He hobbled down the stairwell past me.

“I don’t make agreements with bastards who kill women and children.”

He stepped out the front door and I heard the rifle bark once more. I took Lucy upstairs, she was nearly hysterical and I called out to Karen. She appeared at the door of her and Kyle’s room and waved me to her. I picked up Lucy and we all gathered together. Gina was crying and was hiding under a blanket on Karen’s bed. I took Lucy over to the bed, Karen lifted the edge of the blanket and Lucy crawled under it to be with Gina. Karen let the edge of the blanket fall and she quickly grabbed me and pulled me into a hug but instead of comfort she wanted to whisper horrors into my ear. She told me that the bodies of both Jordan and Candace Hardy were in the room next door. It looked as if both had been raped and then strangled. Karen was trying not to cry but all she was able to do was keep it from boiling out of her, her chest heaved with sobs and I held her tight. A tiny voice screamed from under the blanket

“WHERE IS RONALD?”

I whispered that I would get it for her but Karen shook her head and nodded in the direction of the room next door. I sighed but slowly went to fetch my little sister’s friend: Ronald the Bear.

I opened the door and cringed, the smells of feces and urine, body odor and blood hit me in the face like a hammer. I walked in and saw the body of a biker sitting in a chair in the corner, seven or eight tiny holes in him left trails of blood running down his shirt. Mrs. Hardy hadn’t gone quietly. Indeed there was the .22 caliber rifle laying on the ground. Mrs. Hardy’s body was on the bed, she was naked and obviously had been used, beaten, and strangled. She looked like she was looking off to one side where her daughters’ body lay. She too was naked and I felt sick. I vomited. Who could do that to a little girl? Who? What sort of animal, no, less than an animal, less than the Before up the hill in its cage. The thing that did this to a little girl was filth. They deserved to die, and die in agony. I hoped it was one I had shot. I hoped that he died slowly. I found the little stuffed bear and could not help myself. I hugged it like I had seen Lucy do so many times before, then I heard Lucy calling for him again. I set the bear down and picked up the little girl I laid her next to her mother, then I picked up a blanket from the floor and covered them both. I picked up the bear and went back into the hall pulling the door shut behind me. I saw Mr. Tucker sitting on the stairs, he was wrapping a bandage around his thigh over and over, another bandage already wrapped around his stomach.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

I couldn’t believe it of all the people here, Old Man Tucker had survived. He looked at me, sadness in his eyes,

“Yeah, I’ll live.”

He didn’t sound too happy about it.

I nodded and started to go back into Karen’s room. “John” he called out.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Keep them in the room for a while okay? I’ll bring some food and drinks up in a while.”

He paused then added “I need to clean up a bit.”

I nodded and went back into Karen’s bedroom. Karen had joined the girls under the blanket so I did too. Karen had her arm around Gina and I mirrored her on the other side, I held Lucy close and as tightly as she held Ronald. I guess we were like that for 30 or 40 minutes when Gina asked

“Are we the only ones?”

Karen said that of course we weren’t but even if we were, she and I would always be there for them.

“Isn’t that right Johnny?” she said, begging me to agree.

I didn’t believe it, I didn’t believe in anything or anyone anymore but I couldn’t say that, not to Lucy, not to Gina, and certainly not to Karen.

“That’s right.” I said,

“We will always be here for you guys.”

“What about Mr. Tucker?” Lucy asked.

“Yeah, he’s here too, he’s going to bring us some food in a bit.” I said.

Gina cried and said that she wasn’t hungry and that she wanted her mommy. Karen kissed her and said that her mother and her sister were in Heaven, and that there was no one there who would hurt them ever again, that they would never be afraid, never be hungry again. Gina looked at her and asked in a trembling voice

“Can I go too?”

Karen looked at her and barely containing her own tears whispered,

“Not right now honey, not right now.”

I heard things, bodies being dragged down the stairs, Tucker was treating them roughly and while I knew it wasn’t so, I prayed that it wasn’t the Hardys. Things were silent for a while and Gina and Lucy both went to sleep. I started to speak to Karen but she had fallen asleep as well. I was afraid to move, afraid I would wake them. Let them sleep a bit longer I thought. I heard the floor creak outside the door and Tucker’s heavy footsteps going back and forth outside our door. I wasn’t sure but I though I heard Tucker moan in pain when he went into the room next door. That at least I understood, that at least made me believe that Tucker was a human being after all.

True to his word sometime later Mr. Tucker knocked gently at the door and entered carrying a tray of food. There were peanut butter sandwiches that had some kind of white goo in them. Pickles and canned pears, and several cans of soda pop, real soda pop. He sat on the edge of the bed.

“Kids, I brought some food.”

He said and he almost sounded kind. Gina and Lucy sat up and both looked frightened but when Lucy saw it was Tucker she launched herself at him and hugged him as hard as she could. He gently patted her back and while he didn’t say anything he did kind of hum some song, I didn’t recognize it but Lucy seemed to like it so I let it go without comment. After a moment Gina asked

“Mr. Tucker? Are they all dead? The bad men?”

Lucy let up a bit so that Tucker could answer.

“Yes, they are dead.” he said.

“All of them?” she asked, seeking reassurance.

“Yes, Gina, every single one.” in the way he said it I knew it to be true.

“Good” Gina said.

We ate there in the room, Tucker said he was going on the roof and that we should all stay there. But he returned only moments after he left.

“Something wrong?” I asked.

“No, just dropping these off.” he answered.

He leaned two M-4s and two bandoleers on the chair in the corner. I nodded thanks and he waved as he headed upstairs for guard duty. We ate, even if we had to trick the girls into eating, then we cried and we held each other in turn. Finally hours later Gina and Lucy fell asleep again. As we lay there, Karen looking at me, her eyes red from tears. She looked at the girls to make sure that they were asleep.

“Johnny, what if we are alone? What are we going to do?”

I looked at her and then reached over and took her hand in mine.

“We will do whatever we have to do.” I said.

“Even if we have to be mom and dad to these little girls.” I added.

“Even if we have to be mom and dad.” Karen repeated.

Day 27

I awoke early but the day seemed clear and bright already. I slipped out of bed as quietly as I could, walked around to the other side and gently woke Karen, I didn’t want her to wake up and just find me gone. I cringed when I saw her, her right eye and cheek were terribly bruised, she saw me starring and whispered that it was the shotgun, it had slammed her pretty hard when it jumped out of her hands. I nodded, grabbed a bandoleer and went out in the hall. The bodies were gone but there was still a lot of blood everywhere. I went up the stairs and found Tucker sitting in a chair, binoculars in hand, scanning the horizon. I walked over to him and he quietly asked

“How is everyone?”

I looked at him and said

“Like shit.”

In response he said “Figured.”

I stood there a minute then asked the question that didn’t need to be asked

“No sign of the others?”

He sighed then said “Nope, but it’s still early, we figured they wouldn’t be back before 10.”

I scanned the yard below us, the bus was there and several bikes were lined up alongside it, the others were burned or damaged in some other way and were dragged off to the side by the tree line. I saw bodies covered in blood stained sheets lined up in the yard, “Are those bikers?” I asked. He sighed and lowered the binoculars said,

“No, that’s our people, everyone but Mr. Livingston.”

He nodded to where Mr. Livingston lay, wrapped in his own white shroud.

“I was afraid I would drop him, though maybe you would help me later John.” He said.

I nodded then looked at the bodies lined up side by side. Mrs. King, Mrs. Hardy, Jordan’s little body between her mother and probably the body of Mrs. Boudreaux, Mrs. Livingston, and Mr. Lowe on the end.

“Who is one the other end?” I asked.

“The boy from the front of the bus, he was alive when I got to him, but he didn’t even last long enough for me to get him down.” Tucker said.

“His name was David” I said then added “He was kind of a dick.”

Tucker didn’t look at me when he said “Well, he’s a dead dick now.”

I stared at them, at the bodies of my friends. Seven, no eight counting David from the Post Office. They had killed eight of ours. I felt sick.

“Where are the bikers?” I asked.

“Trash pile” he said, “I’ll burn them tonight so the smoke won’t show.”

“How many?” I asked.

“How many what?” he asked.

“Bikers numb nuts” I snapped.

He looked at me, “Forty one” he said.

Forty one, forty one assholes who wanted to take what wasn’t theirs, forty one dirt bags who hurt and killed little girls and old ladies. I tried to count the deaths in my mind but it didn’t add up.

“Are you sure? I thought it was more like 30 or 35.” I said.

“Yeah, I’m sure, I carried every single damn one to the pile last night.”

He paused then added “Then I pissed on them.”

I almost laughed at that but then felt it was probably a good idea and if I got a chance I would do it myself. Hopefully it would grease their way to Hell.

“What took you so long to help us?”

I asked suddenly realizing that he hadn’t joined the fight right away. He kept the binoculars to his eyes and on the horizon.

“There were six that went around back, I had to take them out first.”

“Really?” I asked. “Yeah, 5 dudes and a blond chick.”

He was quiet a moment longer then added “Like I said, forty one.”

“How did you kill six?” I asked. “

Propane tanks, when they got near them I punched a hole in it with the 45-70, they froze and with a second round they blew up.”

He was silent for a minute. “A propane tank killed them like that?”

I asked. “Not all the way” he answered.

I decided I really didn’t want to know what that meant and 41 it was. I forced Tucker to go downstairs and get some sleep, I would keep watch for the others or anything else. He thanked me and then promised to check on the girls. He rose slowly, painfully and headed towards the stairs. I saw blood on the back of the chair where he had been sitting.

Later that morning Karen brought the girls up to the roof. Both were traumatized but clearly Gina was in worse shape. Gina was between Lucy and Karen, and would not release her grip on their hands for any reason. Karen called me over and we sat the girls at one of the umbrella tables,

“Mr. Tucker is working in the kitchen, he asked us to not go in there right now.”

Karen said, her eyes wide with dismay. At least five people had died in there including Mrs. Boudreaux and Mrs. King, it had to be a slaughter house. I was actually grateful he was doing that, no kid should have to see carnage like that. Tucker made lunch and brought it to the rooftop garden. It was chili. Pickles, saltines and some of those well preserved fruit pies that every quickie mart in the nation seemed to carry. Tucker let everyone pick their pie first but he seemed relieved to see that the one left over was apple, he crumbled it into his chili. What a weird dude.

We all stayed on the roof for most of the afternoon, when Karen asked about the bus.

“It was fitted out with beds along one wall, a couch was bolted on the other. There were boxes everywhere but most only had some kind of liquor in them.” he answered.

We waited for the MRAP, we waited for our friends, to no avail but at six Tucker tried his antenna thingy and he seemed excited,

“Okay they seem confused, almost in a panic and our target group isn’t broadcasting at all.” he announced.

“That’s a good thing isn’t it Mr. Tucker?” Karen asked.

“Yes Karen, it’s a very good thing.” he answered.

But I could tell he was worried about our people not returning on time.

Later we left Karen and the girls on watch and I waited by the dead while Tucker drove a pick up down from the field where we parked everything. We carried Mr. Livingston down the stairs and out to the truck. We loaded the rest of our dead and drove them up to the hill where the Franks, their cousin and Janae Livingston were buried. We didn’t bury them though, neither Tucker nor myself wanted to be away from the others for long even though Karen was alert and was never without her rifle anymore. We decided to stay on the roof that night, there was running water and even a toilet in a little bathroom so Tucker and I carried up sleeping bags and pillows for everyone. I took first watch while Tucker went down and torched the bodies of the bikers where they lay in the deep gully we used for refuse. The steep sides of the gully hid the light and the darkness hid the smoke but nothing could hide the smell of our burning enemies. As I watched Tucker head back to the lodge I thought about that smell. What it meant, that there were dead down there, dead bastards and to my shock I realized I liked the idea that at that very moment their eyes were bursting and their fat was dripping on the ground, they deserved it. All of them from the Big Man to Fat Guy to Skinny Woman who helped Lucy, they were nothing but shit now and I was happy about that.

Karen, Tucker and I took turns on over watch. Each of us staying up a while with our replacement until we were sure they were all together and alert. The night was quiet except for the crickets and the sobs from Gina and Lucy as they slept and dreamed of horror and loss. The last time I woke him I could tell that Tucker was fading, he was pale and had trouble standing without leaning on something. There was a pile of bloody bandages and several empty squeeze tubes of triple antibiotic that explained his weakness. He didn’t ask for help and I didn’t offer it.