Synonym

The first day required me to show myself and my deepest secrets to everyone, now I just had to sit there and look put together as everyone around me talked and argued. I thought it was pretty easy to sit there and do nothing. I hadn't been as cold this morning. Instead I had gotten dressed at a normal speed, eaten without convincing, and even talked a little bit to my family aka the three men that would badger me if I didn't do everything a normal person did. So sitting in the courtroom listening should have been easy. No effort, no movement, no thought. Just sitting.

Finn took the stand first thing in the morning. If he was nervous, his ever stoic face never showed it. Actually, I knew for a fact he was slightly nervous because he confessed it to me last night but if you asked me, he seemed like the most confident man in the world with his raised chin and squared shoulders. The expensive suit on his body only made him look more intimidating and powerful.

While I didn't necessarily know where my future was going; coaching, pro player, or straight to Biometric Engineering, but one thing was for certain, Finn would end up in some fancy board room by the time he was 35. He was meant for it. Being a corporate lawyer might be his fathers thing, but he was smart and with his Bachelors and probably Masters of Science of Business Administration degree, board rooms were in his future.

Finn wasn't the engineering type like Al or I. He was a straight statistics man, that had been evident in the math class we shared together in highschool. His background knowledge of corporate law would only help his career in finance and I wouldn't be surprised if Finn went for his masters at a near by college if we made it pro. That's what I would be doing.

"Mr. Riley," The sound of Mr. Smith's voice drew me back into reality. "In your testimony you state that you tackled Mr. Green before punching him multiple times. Some may consider that assault unless the victim you were protecting was facing emanate threat. Would you say that Ms. Mason was being eminently threatened?"

Finn's jaw was set in stone as he responded with a hard, "Yes."

"How could you tell?"

Finn looked about ready to burst but he managed to control himself. It might not be obvious to most, but I knew his stoic face and if it meant he was angry or bordering on rage. "I came around the corner to see three larger people extremely close to a woman who was pinned against a wall while screaming and crying. I would say the nature of the situation was rather obvious."

My body tensed when I saw the look on Mr. Smith's face. He was taking this somewhere ugly and I suddenly didn't want to be in here anymore. "You say you heard screams. Is it possible that these were merely just sounds of sexual gratification? Who says it wasn't the sound of consensual sex?"

I saw the muscles in Finn's jaw ripple slightly under his perfectly even toned skin. "The fact that you are insinuating that someone being raped can control anything leaving their mouth other than their screams is disgusting. I think it was rather obvious by the nature of the harsh screams of agony that Ms. Mason was being eminently threatened."

"That is all Mr. Riley." Mr. Smith retired his council. I couldn't help but notice the tenseness in Finn's muscles even as he passed me to get to his seat behind my lawyer. He was angry and there was no doubt about that. In that moment I silently thanked God that Finn wasn't in the room when I was accused to statutory rape.

My scatter brain was all over the place for the next two hours. I didn't hear a word that was said. It was almost as if I was time jumping back and forth, only hearing the important information. Focusing on any one thing was impossible, I was to busy making it look like I knew what I was doing. 'Act like you've been there before'- Vince Lombardi. I loved the Packers but I don't think I've ever related to something they've said more.

My strategy seemed to work for the longer duration of the trial but I could feel the little resolve I had left crumbling beneath my feet when Jack took the stand. I was suddenly all ears when my lawyer went to question him. After the oath Jack had the audacity to wink at me. It made my insides crawl and I fought the urge to flinch but I knew there were cameras on me. This whole thing would be aired on television for analysts to pick apart once the verdict was reached. "Mr. Green, describe your previous contact with Ms. Mason before the incident."

"We has one scrimmage lacrosse game prior. That was our only contact." Jack replied confidently. It sickened me that he could look so professional when I knew beneath that shit was just a crawling despicable human being.

"Did you say, and I quote, "I wouldn't be surprised if they took you in just to be eye candy for the guys' to Ms. Mason after just meeting her when the referee of the scrimmage walked away? And did you follow up said statement with 'What about you Riley? She fuck you good so now you get all defensive? You're pussy whipped.' to Mr. Riley who remained impassive during your smear?"

I internally cringed so hard that my lips showed a slight grimace of displeasure.

"Objection!" Mr. Smith shot up from his seat. "What does the context of this questioning show other than the embarrassment of Ms. Mason and Mr. Green?"

"Your Honor, I'm simply trying to show the jury the previous relationship and nature of Mr. Green and Mr. Coleman. The two men sexually harassed Ms. Mason out of the gate, months prior to the rape. This behavior shows a trend of sexual misconduct."

"Objection overruled. Continue Mr. Tarsky." The old woman's powerful voice boomed through the court room.

Mr. Tarsky's face didn't give anything away when he turned back to a now suddenly anxious looking Jack. "Did you or did you not say those things to Ms. Mason and Mr. Riley?" He asked Jack again.

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His brown eyes darted around the room before he realized no one was going to save him. "Yes. I did say those things." He finally admitted with what looked to be a painful expression.

"Did you witness Mr. Coleman say, 'She must be real tight if you're getting this worked up. Mind if I take her for a spin one night?' when referring to Ms. Mason?"

"Yes." Jack gritted out. I couldn't help but feel my blood rushing to my cheeks in embarrassment and in anger from recalling the memory. It was infuriating.

"Was Mr. Alvarez the only one to lay a hand on Ms. Mason's neck? And did you see it with your own eyes?"

"Yes. I saw it, and yes, he was the only one."

And with that, Jack was done. Coleman took the stand and managed to not make a fool of himself. Up to this point my nerves had been calm; there had been no recollection of that night in great detail with the exception of Finn's testimony. I thought I would get through this.

I was wrong.

When Ryan took the stand his face looked like it could kill. Nothing in this world could make me more scared that the murderous look on Ryan Alvarez's face. His dark eyes glared at me like I stabbed his mother to death. His muscles were taught and his nostrils slightly flared. It was obvious that he hadn't been coached on how to act in court, or perhaps he had been and he was just ignoring the advice of his lawyers to try and scare me.

As if scaring me more would somehow stop his impending prison sentence.

I had always been convinced that Ryan was just the unfortunate accomplice to Coleman and Jack but now I wasn't so sure. I didn't know anything anymore.

Oh fuck my brain for thinking of that.

It felt like Ryan could read my mind when he looked at me. There was a twisted look in his eye as to say, 'Yeah. I know. That's real, I did that.' and that made me break out into a cold sweat. It was suddenly very warm in my suit yet so cold on the back of my neck..

I shifted in my seat and subtly scratched the itch on my decoltage while my lawyer started to address Ryan. "Mr. Alvarez, was Mr. Green the only person to put his hands on Ms. Mason in a sexual way."

Ryan didn't waste a second when he looked me in the eyes from across the room. "No. That's why we're all here for sexual assault. Jack's the only one that by definition had sex with her but that doesn't mean Coleman didn't grope her." "And what about yourself?"

"Plead the fifth." Ryan smirked a little at me. It was so small that I doubt anyone else noticed but me, because I was studying his face like a textbook.

"Can you describe the actions of your two counterparts?" My lawyer asked. Ryan couldn't lie so he had to incriminate his friends. This is combination with Finn and I's testimony would put them all away for years.

"All three of us were in the locker room when Coleman decided it would be fun to torment the girl. 'Teach her a lesson' was what he said. I just went along with it. So they got her leaving her locker room, pinned her against the wall, and, to put it nicely, Jack fingered her till she bled."

"You omitted yourself from these actions in your testimony."

"That's what pled the fifth is counselor." Ryan retorted.

Now my breath was heaving. I couldn't control it. I don't think anyone noticed because all eyes were on Ryan and his snarky and unprofessional remarks. I didn't even care about his motives anymore because the room was starting to spin and the walls where closing in. I don't think anyone realized that I was having a panic attack until my heavy breathing was so loud that people started to turn and look at me.

"Ms. Mason? Are you alright?" The judge asked in a slightly concerned voice.

My face was dazed and my mouth partially opened. I heard someone speak from behind me, it sounded like begging but I couldn't focus on the noise. My vision blurred when I tried to stand to get some space.

My knees buckled and everything silenced before I even hit the ground.