Sunset of the Wandering Souls

My body seemed to be sinking into some ethereal void. I wasn’t sure what was real, every thought, everything I saw was fuzzy. There was a heavy weight throughout my person, almost comforting in the way it pressed all over me. If I put all my slipping focus into it, I could move a finger or two, get a muscle in my face to twitch. I stopped fighting it when it took all my strength to stay awake. I let myself sink into the warm embrace of that still sea. I wasn’t sure how long I was down there.

I convinced myself all I experienced were hallucinations brought on by whatever substance had been put in the tea. I knew it wasn’t true, all the things I saw were all the things I had forgotten. They filled in those gaps, giving me clarity. It was for my safety, everything was for my safety. To allow me life to take over as king. And I couldn’t stand it. All the rules, all the lessons, being cooped up in that room with no windows. It was my punishment after the storehouse fire, I couldn’t be trusted not to get myself into trouble anymore.

I picked the lock once, before Innin had it changed. I would have stayed in my room if I had known what was going to happen. I wandered the palace halls, looking for the library I had been to only once. I had been grabbed from behind, my wings springing forth in a vain attempt to fly to the ceiling. Their knife clattered to the floor in my struggle to get free. I kicked it away and they pinned me to the floor. Their knee dug into my back, I kept trying to crawl my way to their knife, stopped only by the searing pain as they pulled my left wing. I felt something tear, I saw their blood splatter by my hand, I felt their lifeless body on my back. I had never seen such a murderous rage burn in Innin’s eyes. His breaths came heavy, the head of my assailment hanging from his fist by their hair. He screamed something awful, something primal. A call to arms for the rest of the knights in a tongue that had lost all meaning.

It dissolved in a dizzying way, my skin tingling as it did. The weight never left my body, but that syrupy darkness got more concrete. I could feel my eyes roll around in my head, catching glimpses of the ceiling before the muscles in my eyelids failed me once more. I tried to fight it, to swim out of it. The harder I fought the thinner the feeling got. It was pulling back as if it were going to become one great big wave. It was the only shot I had. Lady Oglin and her sister had to pay for treason. I forced my eyelids to open with pure anger.

The right side of my face refused to cooperate, my eyelid drooping awkwardly. My left eyelid wanted to close, my eyes wanted to stay unfocused. I tried to sit up, to make a fist, to say anything before the wave came back over me. I heard my mother speak, her words echoing in my head. She had distanced herself from me after she was blinded. Not because she hated me, but because she wished to protect me from the heartache if she were to be killed. Still, I never grew out of my childish ways towards her, or she wouldn’t let me.

“Mommy?” I asked quietly, my voice coming out in one slow whisper. I could see part of the worry on her face, I couldn’t feel her hand clasped in mine. “Lad-Lady Oglin, she—”

“Rest for now, Ezollen,” she said. “Innin will be here soon with the doctor.”

I let her words float over me, settling heavy on my chest. I attempted to sit up again, my head starting to go fuzzy once more. If I could just get myself up, I could breathe a little easier. I could keep myself from succumbing to the poison. The right side of my body wasn’t moving no matter how many times I told it to. All I could do was rest until Innin arrived, no matter how much I didn’t wish to lie there while traitors to the crown were roaming the palace. There was only the slight peace that neither Innin nor my mother could allow me to go through my marriage to Lady Oglin.

I heard the door open before I saw Innin. He stood at the foot of my bed, sword at his hip; I couldn’t see most of his left side. The way he set his jaw made it clear to me he was here as the head of the royal guard, not as my retainer. His personal feelings couldn’t get in the way of his protection of me. The royal doctor came in after him, asking me questions I struggled to understand.

“You were lucky, Your Highness,” the doctor said while his fingers prodded at my neck. “I’m still trying to pinpoint the exact poison used, but any more than what you swallowed would have killed you.” He moved down my body, poking at my chest and stomach before moving to my arms and legs to discern what I could still feel. “The paralysis you feel should subside in a few days. But Your Highness…I don’t believe you’ll regain full use of your vision in your right eye.”

The royal doctor helped me sit up, propping me up with a few pillows before I dismissed him. I stared at Innin, his face masking his emotions, I watched for even the slightest twitch as in that raspy whisper. “Arrest Lady Oglin…and her sister Iken.”

“Ezollen, dear,” my mother’s voice was gentle, “I know you have your reservations with having to marry her, but we can’t—”

“She poisoned me, Mommy.” I coughed into the crook of my left arm at the irritation in my throat. “Her and her…sister are…traitors.”

Innin moved his hands behind him, standing up a little straighter. “They’ve already been questioned, Ezollen.” He walked stiffly to stand next to my mother, placing a hand on her shoulder to let her know he was there. “I’ve questioned them myself. I’ve no reason to doubt Lady Oglin’s integrity, Mirgen has spoken highly of her.” I looked at the jewelry Pili gave me as I tore off the covers. A couple paralyzed limbs wouldn’t stop me from questioning Lady Oglin myself. “Ezollen, please stay in bed a little longer,” Innin urged as I awkwardly sat myself at the edge of the bed.

I stood, placing all my weight on my left leg. I eyed Innin as he came to the other side of the bed, arms poised to catch me. I was starting to get dizzy the longer I stayed standing. I took a sliding step, knowing I’d fall into Innin’s arms anyway as I said, “I’ll arrest her myself.”

Innin sat me back on the bed. “If it’ll keep you in bed, I’ll question Lady Oglin and Iken again.” He practically forced me to lie back down, then helped my mother stand. “Please, rest for now, Ezollen. We’re taking measures to keep you safe until we catch the culprit.”

I let out a soft sigh, hoping Innin wouldn’t hear. “What of my coronation?” Innin glanced at my mother, her arm looped through his. “If the paralysis hasn’t worn off by then, what of it?”

My mother pursed her lips. “Rest, Ezollen, dear, let us worry about your coronation.” She smoothed down the front of her skirts. “Focus on getting better for now.”

As I watched them leave, I debated asking Innin to come back later, I didn’t want to be left alone. I let him go, instead staring at the ring Pili gave me. The wave that had been inching so slowly forward, only held back by the force of my anger, came to drag me in. I let it take me, to consume all of my feelings and replace them with the warmth of the poison’s side-effects.