Sunlight (Haven River Ranch)

Jax was wearing his cowboy hat while driving his truck, one wrist dangling over the steering wheel. Sunshine streamed through the windshield, highlighting the chiseled corners of his jaw.

It wasn’t at all like the dark winter night of the party, but I couldn’t shake the sense of déjà vu as we drove through the ranch to the resort.

“What?” He glanced over and smirked.

“Nothing.”

“Liar.” He stretched a hand across the console, taking mine off my lap to hold between us. “Checking me out, Vaughn?”

“Maybe.”

His grin widened. “Good.”

I blushed, tearing my gaze away, and smiled out my own window. It wasn’t normal to smile this much. Definitely not for me. But I couldn’t stop.

Jax and I had settled into an easy routine over the past two weeks. Too easy, considering we were still getting to know each other. Yet easy was the only way to describe it.

I didn’t trust easy. I didn’t expect it to last.

But for now, I was enjoying it, just a little. Until it was gone.

Living with Jax wasn’t as complicated as I’d thought it would be. Our routines had synced seamlessly. We showered together. We ate together. We slept together. And God, the sex. It was constant. I craved him to the point of distraction.

My gaze drifted back to his side of the truck, taking another long look as heat bloomed in my center.

“If you keep looking at me like that, we’re going to be late.”

“You shouldn’t have worn the hat.” I bit my lower lip as he shifted, adjusting his cock with his other hand.

“Later.” He lifted our clasped hands and nipped at my wrist, his teeth grazing my skin. Then he growled, part lust, part frustration, as the lodge came into view. “Whose idea was this?”

“Yours.” I laughed, wiggling my hand free from his grip so I could make sure the collar on my shirt was straight.

It had been when I’d gotten dressed, but then Jax had pulled it to the side to kiss my collarbone as he’d helped me into the truck.

I flipped down the visor, making sure the color in my cheeks looked like blush and not the orgasm Jax had given me before we’d left the house.

“Shit,” I muttered.

“What?”

I pointed to the mirror. “I look like we just had sex.”

“We did just have sex.”

“I don’t need to look like it before a work function.”

He chuckled. “It’s just the Saturday barbeque.”

“With my boss, employees, and a slew of guests in attendance.” I shot him a frown before smoothing my hair. “Everyone is going to know that we’re . . . something.”

What were we? A couple? A fling? It wasn’t my style to have a relationship this obscure. But I was scared to ask.

This was either casual or serious. And both answers were terrifying. So I was embracing the unknown.

“Hate to break it to you, babe. But everyone already knows that we’re something.” He spoke that last word through gritted teeth, hinting that he wasn’t thrilled with the obscurity either. “It’s not a secret that you’re pregnant. Or that we’re living together.”

“Temporarily living together, right?”

“Yeah. Temporarily.”

My heart sank a bit every time I heard that word, even though we had no idea how long this temporary arrangement would last. Emery seemed content in the cabin, and Jax didn’t want to rush her off the ranch.

She’d mostly stayed to herself these past two weeks. She drove into town for work each morning and returned to the cabin each night. She’d hired a lawyer for the divorce. And she’d started searching for a new place in town. But the search was slow, and it had only been two weeks.

No one was pushing her to make these big changes at once. And I wasn’t complaining about sleeping in Jax’s bed each night.

The parking lot was crowded at the lodge, forcing us to park at the end of a row. We climbed out, and I breathed in the June air, the sun warm on my face.

Ever since he’d taken me into the meadow behind the house, I found myself breathing in the air differently. Deeper. Fuller. I let it fill my lungs, holding it for a moment. Savoring it.

Montana air was fresh. Clean. Almost as addicting as Jax.

“Ready?” he asked as we set off for the lodge.

“It’s not my first barbeque, you know.”

“I know.” He snagged my hand, holding it tight.

“Jax,” I warned, trying to wiggle free. “Work function.”

“Family function, Sasha,” he corrected, his grip unmovable as his jaw flexed. “Saturdays are a family function. You want to pretend we’re nothing Monday through Friday, fine. But Saturdays, we’re going to be real.”

Wait. Pretend we were nothing? Maybe I didn’t know exactly how to define this relationship, but it wasn’t nothing. “I don’t pretend we’re nothing.”

“Then hold my fucking hand.”

I laced our fingers together.

The irritation on his face faded as he stared down at me, shaking his head like he wanted to say something more. But he stayed quiet as we skirted the exterior of the lodge, passing the Beartooth cabin on the way to the rear patio.

Voices and laughter greeted us along with the scents of campfire smoke and grilled meat. People milled about the open space, visiting as they sipped cocktails or champagne or beer.

From the sheer number of bodies, it looked like most guests had come tonight.

West and Indya were talking to a couple from Texas who’d just arrived yesterday. When Indya spotted me, her smile widened, and she waved us over.

Only before we could join them, the twins came out of nowhere, slamming into Jax’s legs and rocking him on his heels.

“Uncle Jax, you gotta see this.” Kade grabbed Jax’s free hand and began pulling with all his might.

Jax laughed. “What do I gotta see?”

“We went fishing today.” Kohen was out of breath like he’d been running for an hour. He grabbed Jax’s wrist, pulling with his brother. “And Reid is cooking our fish for dinner. You gotta see how big it is before he cuts it up.”

“Okay. Let’s see this fish.” Jax winked at me, then let go of my hand.

They veered toward the firepit as I walked to Indya’s side, greeting my boss and the guests.

Whether Jax thought so or not, tonight was a work function, so I wandered from group to group, ensuring everyone was having a nice time. The kitchen staff set up the cheeseburger bar while the waitstaff filtered through the patio with trays of light appetizers.

Jax was pulled from the twins by guests, and like the night of the party, his eyes were often waiting when I found him in the crush. We finally made our way back to each other just as a local musician began playing her guitar from the opposite end of the patio.

“Hungry?” he asked, handing me a glass of sparkling water.

“Yes.” Most of the guests had already made it through the line.

“There’s Dad.” He jerked up his chin at Curtis as he emerged from the lodge’s back doors.

“Evening, Son. Hi, Sasha.” Curtis grinned as he walked over, hand outstretched for Jax. I expected a handshake, too, but before I knew what was happening, Curtis wrapped me into a hug.

“H-hi.” My arms flailed for a moment, unsure of where to settle. They landed on his sides as I hugged him back.

Curtis hugged tight, tighter even than Jax. Before he let go, he gave a last squeeze around my shoulders.

It was familiar, even though I hadn’t felt it in a decade. It was a dad’s hug.

I’d forgotten how much I missed my dad’s hugs.

The emotion, the memory, clawed at my throat. But I wasn’t going to cry in front of guests, so I swallowed hard, and when Curtis let me go, I let Jax haul me into his side. I leaned on him until I caught my balance.

“Now that it’s not a secret, guess I can finally say congratulations,” Curtis said. “I’ve got a friend who does custom woodworking. I’d like to—” Whatever he was going to say was cut short the moment Lily appeared at his side.

Jax’s entire frame stiffened.

I fought a lip curl.

And Curtis’s eyes widened as he looked down at his ex-wife, clearly shocked she’d be this close.

“Uh, hi, Mom.” West walked over with Indya, both of them sharing a look. “Didn’t realize you were coming out tonight.”

She shrugged. “Tara’s meeting me out here later. I’ve got to get the scoop on her and Reid.”

“We were just about to get a cheeseburger,” Indya said. “Would you like to join us?”

She was clearly trying to get Lily away from Jax or Curtis. Maybe both.

Lily picked up on it, too, and a flash of pain crossed her expression before she nodded. “Sounds great.”

West held out his arm, ready to escort his mother. But before she took it, she gave Jax a sad smile. “It’s good to see you. And you, Sasha. How have you been feeling?”

“Fine, thanks.” As much as I didn’t like how she’d treated Jax, my mother would have rolled over in her grave if I were impolite.

“Good. That’s wonderful.” She looked between the two of us. “West says it’s a girl?”

“Yes.” I nodded as Jax’s nostrils flared.

“Congratulations.” She gave him another smile, then her gaze flicked to Curtis. “Hi, Curtis.”

“Hi, Lily?” It sounded like a question. He blinked a few times, staring at her with his jaw slack, even as she took West’s arm and walked away.

“What the fuck?” Jax muttered.

The color drained from Curtis’s face. “She said that to me, right? She said hi to me?”

“Yes,” I drawled. Why was that surprising?

“I need a drink.” Curtis gulped, then breezed past us for the bar.

“Um, what was that about?” I asked Jax.

Jax’s gaze tracked to where Lily was in line with Indya and West. “She hasn’t spoken to him in over a decade. Not a single word.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. How hungry are you?”

Starving. “Not very.”

“Mind if we head home?”

“Not at all.” I took his hand, and the two of us slipped into the lodge, disappearing without a goodbye.

He walked fast to the truck, fast even by my standards. But I kept up, and this time, it was me gripping his hand so he couldn’t shake it loose.

Jax didn’t say a word as we got in his truck and reversed out of the lot, heading away from the resort. He drove faster than normal, the truck bouncing and swaying on the rough road.

It wasn’t until we were at the last grove of trees on the drive to the house that he finally took his foot off the gas. His shoulders slumped, and as he blew out a long breath, he slowed us to a crawl.

“Sorry. That was . . . weird,” he said.

“It’s all right.”

Jax pressed the brake until we were stopped. We were in the middle of the road, but it was his road. If this was where he wanted to talk, then I’d listen. “I told you my mother left me here with Dad when I was a baby.”

“I remember.” Some of the details of his drunken rambling from the night I’d told him I was pregnant were fuzzy, but that story wasn’t one I’d forget.

“Dad went to Vegas with some friends for the National Finals Rodeo. Got wasted and met her at a bar. They hooked up. I was the unexpected surprise.”

It was the nice way of saying he was an accident. A mistake. I’d always hated it whenever parents called their children mistakes, now more than ever.

“Dad fucked up, but he owned it. Told Lily everything and begged for her forgiveness. She stayed with him. Even after my mother left me here a year later.”

Yes, Lily had stayed. But that wasn’t quite good enough, was it? Not when she’d hurt him too.

“You know the rest,” he said. “When Lily and I got into that fight years ago, when I gave her that ultimatum, Dad was pissed when she didn’t let the name thing go. I don’t know the details, but I guess they got into a fight too. She hasn’t spoken to him since.”

“Until today.”

He nodded. “Until today.”

“Why?”

“No idea.” He shrugged. “It was strange, right? She’s been acting strange.”

If I was being honest, Lily was acting nice. She was acting toward them the way she’d always acted toward me. But I didn’t know her well enough to say if it was strange. She was clearly trying to mend the rift with Jax.

That’s what I’d tell him if I was being honest.

But I didn’t want to be honest, not yet. Not when I was still angry at her on his behalf.

Jax drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. “Did you know she hasn’t set foot in Dad’s house since the day she moved out? That was ages ago. Any time she’d come to visit West and me, we’d meet at the lodge. But she never went back to that house. Sometimes she’ll get mail that’s meant for him. Mostly it’s junk that’s addressed to them both and goes to her house, but she keeps it. Then she gives it to West to deliver to Dad.”

“Why won’t she go to the house?”

“I think because she loves him.”

She loved him. But she didn’t speak to him and had forced West to be their go-between. “Lily is a confusing person.”

Jax barked a laugh. “Yes. That’s for damn sure.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I.” He pulled his hat off and raked a hand through his hair. “Or, I didn’t until West explained it. Lily loves Dad. She probably always will. She doesn’t date. Neither does he. She won’t forgive him for cheating, but she’s still in love with him too. They live separate lives. They’re divorced. But she loves him. And I think that’s why she doesn’t go to the house. It hurts all over again. And she’s spent so long being hurt and angry, she can’t stop now.”

“Ah. So Lily isn’t done punishing Curtis.”

And maybe she had every right to inflict that punishment. Maybe the way he’d broken her trust and her heart deserved a lifetime of silence. Maybe, in her shoes, I would have done the same.

Except I couldn’t rationalize how she’d treated Jax.

“I’ve been thinking about her a lot lately,” Jax said, his voice quiet and guarded. “I get why she didn’t want me to call her Mom. If I put myself in her shoes, I can understand. But in my shoes, it still hurts.”

Damn you, Lily. I regretted being polite at the barbeque.

“Anyway.” Jax drew in a long breath and took his foot off the brake, following the bend in the road. “Sorry about dinner.”

“I’d rather it just be us anyway. I’ll make—” My sentence was cut off when we emerged past the trees, and I spotted a large navy truck at the cabin. There was a man outside. “Who’s—”

“Motherfucker.” Jax shot us forward, sending me deep into the seat.

“Jax, who is that?” I asked, even though I had good hunch.

His hands strangled the wheel as we flew toward the cabin. “Calvin.”