Skinned

Valerie

Killian nudged the front door open as he kept a secure hold on my weight, but as soon as he stepped foot inside my den, the strong scent clinging to the walls of the cabin had rendered him immobile.

Beneath the palm of my hands, I felt his muscles turn rigid, his fingers digging into my skin for a brief moment as he tried to ignore the lure of my nature.

I clutched onto Killian’s damp shirt and inhaled deeply, my action kept steady and unnoticeable as I fed my mind’s desire. The smell of him was intoxicating, and the way it crowded my senses coaxed me to relish it completely.

My mouth fell agape, eyes closing as I greedily basked myself in Killian’s overpowering scent, and as soon as my heated breath hit the tender flesh of his neck, he snapped out of his daze and fixed his hold on my weight before proceeding to carry me over to the bed.

Killian bent down to grab my duffel bags and threw them onto the floor before carefully lowering me onto the soft mattress, my body immediately curling as he tugged on the blanket and draped it over my exposed form.

I felt my heart drop when he turned around to leave, and before he could take another step away from me, my hand immediately came up to land a desperate grip on his wrist while completely disregarding the aching pain surrounding my joints.

Killian’s posture tensed, and he turned his head slightly over his shoulder to acknowledge me.

I swallowed hard, my widened eyes completely failing to hide the fear I felt for the absence of Killian’s solace; I couldn’t let him go knowing that my peace could only be granted by him. And no matter how hard I tried to conceal my weakness, a tear had managed to slip out of the corner of my eye.

I couldn’t bear to be alone again.

“Please don’t leave me.”

I was pleading him, my voice thick with despair as I let him hear me without hiding behind a facade made of strength and nonchalance. It was foreign for me to express vulnerability, but at that moment, he made me feel utterly weak and desperate for his presence.

Killian’s warm hand circled around mine, his gaze warm as he urged me to let go.

“I’m not leaving,” he said with a voice that was soft enough to be disarming, “I need to start the fire. Where are your clothes?”

A trembled breath of relief escaped my mouth as my hand on his wrist lost its pressure but still remained intact from the doubt sitting in the pit of my stomach.

My gaze drifted over to the duffel bag on the floor. “It’s in that bag.”

Killian followed my attention and took the bag before handing it over to me.

“You can get dressed and go to sleep,” he told me, his eyes going through his surroundings with a hard look on his face, and I continued to look at him warily. He couldn’t move, not when I still had my hold on his wrist.

“I’m not going anywhere, Valerie. I just need you to put some clothes on and sleep for a while. Can you do that?”

I clenched my jaw as I looked at my hand locked on his wrist; it wasn’t that I was afraid of him leaving me alone, but it felt too good to touch him that I couldn’t bring myself to let him go.

Every part of me was urging me to touch him more, the yearning too stubborn to flee my mind. And it took me a lot of control to pry my hand away from his wrist and clutch on the blanket covering my body instead.

I refused to look at Killian as the constant pull to him played like a test to my restraints, and I ran a tongue over my lips before nodding hesitantly, “Yes, I can do that.”

Killian let his scorching gaze sit on my figure for a moment, his thoughtful eyes trying to read through my features. He let out a puff of air through his nose, running a hand through his damp hair before tugging at the center of his wet crew neck to prevent it from sticking to his torso.

He remained standing in front of me like he wanted to say something else, but I caught him shake his head to himself before turning his back to me and walking over to the inactive fireplace.

Despite spending a decent amount of time underneath the freezing rain, Killian’s built physique refused react from the cold as he stood completely unfazed, and I failed to even witness him shiver.

It made me question the full extent of his strength, and how it surpassed an any other werewolf’s capabilities.

He healed too quickly from silver.

His movements were too quick and potent.

And he carried with him a sound threat that took only a glance to notice.

Killian was made to be the predator among werewolves, and I figured that his potential was meant to influence something much bigger than a pack.

I pulled down my sweater when I let my eyes land on Killian crouching in front of the fireplace and waiting for the fire to grow. The dim light complemented every contour of his sharp features, and I could just see the way his eyes were hooded by his dark eyelashes and the freckles decorating the bridge of his nose.

“Have you gathered a few traces of your memories, Killian?”

He sent me a sideway glance, and I knew from the way that he rolled his shoulders to relieve the tension surrounding them meant that he wasn’t comfortable with the subject.

“If I had, I would’ve told you right away. It’s impossible to recall.”

“What do you mean?” I raised an eyebrow at his bitter statement.

“While you were recovering from your injuries, I went through the entire northern part of the pack,” he said and dipped his finger into ashes and slowly drew a few lines, “but it was hopeless.”

“You could’ve found something more if you crossed the northern border,” I told him.

“I did,” Killian shot me look, “but I couldn’t go any farther out of the border because it began to hurt me physically.”

I frowned in confusion as I found his words completely hard to process. “I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

Killian locked his jaw tight and wore a troubled look before opening his mouth to speak again, “It’s this thing inside me, Valerie. Somehow, it just doesn’t want to go anywhere outside territorial grounds.”

“It’s preventing you, isn’t it?” I mumbled.

Killian’s features shifted to become grim, his throat bobbing as he tried to collect his words, “It doesn’t want me to remember.”

I was left silenced in awe of his revelation, but when I was about to ask him another question, the sound of my stomach growling already beat me to it.

Killian’s lips slowly curved up into a genuine smile that caused a dimple to appear on the side of his cheek, letting me know that he heard it loud and clear while he kept his attention on the fire in front of him.

He barely smiled in front of me, and witnessing the rare sight alone managed to add more force to the pull that he didn’t know he had on me.

“Did you pack some food?” He asked me and stood up in his full height.

“In that other bag,” I said gesturing to the other duffel bag that carried my sustenance of canned meat.

I sat at the small table with my eyes watching Killian move around the place while he tried to prepare my dinner.

His movements were easy, yet the way his eyes ran through his surroundings was guarded and reluctant, his jaw locking every once in a while as if his thoughts were consuming him.

“Here,” Killian slid my food in front of me, the meal warm from spending a few minutes in the fireplace.

I could smell the spices combined to complement the meat, its aroma sending a wave of hunger through me, but it was nothing compared to the smell that Killian seemed to carry. He harbored a scent that was much more appetizing than a simple meal.

“Thank you,” I mumbled as I picked up the spoon and fork to start eating.

Silence filled the cabin while I ate as Killian kept himself busy by looking through the room, taking his time to observe the shelf full of aged books as well as the dusty portraits of sceneries hung on the walls.

He was slow and quiet with his walk, and I noticed how he kept a hand dragging against the walls, following the same location where I had previously touched and left my trail of scent.

I could feel the wolf bristle from within as she didn’t take kindly to Killian unconsciously claiming her den as his own. My upper lip was twitching from the urge to snarl in displeasure, but I kept myself preoccupied by focusing on my food as my grip on the spoon and fork visibly tightened.

“Will you be able to fit there?”

I grinned at Killian sheepishly as I watched him stare at the sofa that was too small to occupy his tall physique.

He glanced at me and smiled, dumping his pillow into the sofa and plopping down onto the soft cushion with a sigh leaving his mouth.

“It’s fine. Good night, Valerie.”

“Good night, Killian,” I mumbled before turning around to head to bed as well. Although I was calm, in my mind I dreading on the idea of me drawing nearer to the full potential of my heat.

But as soon as I crawled into bed and pulled the blanket over my body, my eyes began to close as I surrendered myself to slumber, holding onto the reassurance that Killian was just a few feet away from me and was the only person I needed to ensure my safety.

And with one last glance at the Alpha sitting at the sofa, I drifted off to sleep.

Harsh.

Punishing.

Consuming.

A wave of heat disturbed the peace of my sleep and forced me to wake up with a pained groan. It was a sensation that pushed through the rest of my body, but had a stronger force carving into my abdomen.

I writhed from the scorch felt within, my fingers digging into my skin as I tried to ease myself out of the pain. I felt like it began to get worse as the seconds went by, forcing me to wrap my hands around my own body and curl forward with a labored breath.

A warm hand was placed on my shoulder, the contact slightly shadowing my inward ache with pleasure, and I unconsciously leaned more into the touch as I sought for the only solution that conquered the pain.

“You’re burning up,” Killian said, his tone rough from frustration, “Valerie, are you okay?”

“I don’t know what to do,” he confessed helplessly.

I replied with a wince, and I felt the bed dip as Killian pulled me up and held me against him, his hand going to the back of my head, placing it just above his shoulder, while the other one supported my back. And with the quick beating of his heart as my lullaby, he began to cradle me.

“You need help. I need to call someone in,” Killian whispered as he desperately tried to soothe the pain. His hands were cold and trembling on my skin, yet it was enough to soothe me effectively.

I sighed, my body losing its tension as the ache began to subside from the mere contact.

“Don’t,” I mumbled and took in a slow breath, an action I had been constantly doing as Killian’s scent grew to become my guilty pleasure.

“Just stay like this with me, I’ll be fine,” I told him.

The next two nights were spent the same. I couldn’t go through each day without having to rely on Killian, and he quickly became the perfect solution to walk me through the pain that tortured me every once in a while.

But each day increased the pain of the recurring heat, and it arrived to the point where Killian’s touch wasn’t enough to suffice anymore. I was beginning to acquire the need for sonething more, and it constantly crowded my mind as I felt the strong compulsion to have it fulfilled.

It was in the morning when I woke up alone. Killian’s scent still lingered in the cabin, yet the smell of him had become faint, which indicated that he left more than a few hours before I even had to wake up.

I also noticed that the front door was cracked open, and I figured that he must’ve left in a rush.

I frowned, struggling to put myself up on my feet due to my knees buckling. My heat had become consistent and its influence already began to last for an entire day. It had affected my senses, putting me on hypersensitivity where I could feel, smell, and hear the slightest of things that Killian did and possessed.

I knew very well that my heat had the same effect on Killian too, and it only took one simple glance to notice how hard he was trying to keep himself under control just like I was.

We were in constant war against our nature, our judgment colliding with our overwhelming desire, and one misstep could break the remainder of our restraints; we needed to keep ourselves guarded.

I placed my hand against the wall in an attempt to support my weight as my breathing began to get shallow. Beads of sweat dotted my forehead, my scent filling the room that boldly pronounced my fertility, and I walked over to the small table that held the pitcher full of water to replenish myself.

But in spite of consuming a glass full of water, it wasn’t enough to quench my thirst, and it wasn’t the only thing that bothered me.

I was thirsty, hungry, and overall frustrated due to my wolf’s irregular distress. Everything she felt affected me and it terrified me to think that she could hold enough strength to dominate the rest of my emotions and take away my ability to think sensibly.

I snarled to myself as every feeling that wasn’t supposed to be mine bombarded me all at once. My canines were quick to ascend with my displeasure, and I landed a tight grip on the corner of the table as I began to feel her trying to claw her way through the surface again.

I was trembling, and my posture immediately stiffened when I picked up Killian’s approaching scent, his smell growing and becoming stronger as he neared the cabin.

The closer he got, the more he disarmed me from the wolf within. His footsteps halted in front of the door step, and his smell was enough to suffocate me.

He knew I was awake. He could hear my heart beating on a quickened rate.

The draw to him wasn’t like the previous days where I could easily get a hold of myself, this time it was unbearable, my entire body completely pleading for him and him alone.

And I couldn’t bring myself to make him go away.

Why couldn’t I tell him to go away?

I gritted my teeth, unable to find my voice and use it to make Killian leave, but the words just couldn’t leave my mouth as they remained lodged into my throat.

The door was the only thing keeping us apart now, and I was afraid, that once he stepped foot inside the very den that my wolf had claimed, the thread that held my self control was going to snap.

I wanted him to leave and bury the consquences of my heat six feet under,

But then I needed him to open the door and let me have him.

And it was the latter that was winning me over. She was winning me over.