Skinned

Valerie

I stared at the old, run down cabin in front of me as I dropped my duffel bags onto the ground with a sigh.

“You call me when you need something,” Heath said firmly as he casually leaned against the truck, as if my choice to stay in a place alone didn’t exactly appeal to him.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I grinned at him reassuringly and picked up my bags, “You should go.”

“Well, if you’re so damn eager to get rid of me,” Heath grumbled and turned around to open the car door.

“Thank you, Heath. I appreciate you driving me here and I hope nothing goes wrong while I’m gone.”

He smiled, avoiding my gaze as he hopped inside the vehicle and started the engine, and I couldn’t help but notice the slight unease hidden beneath his forced nonchalance.

He seemed more guarded than usual.

Heath was awfully quiet throughout our drive over to the cabin as well, and he refused to roll up the windows the entire time after claiming that it was suffocating for him to be ‘isolated’ with me.

“You made a wise choice leaving for a while, I don’t think you’d be safe back there considering your circumstances,” Heath said and cleared his throat before taking in a deep breath, “You’re actually starting to bother me a little too.”

I laughed and stepped away from his vehicle, “Well, I guess I’m perfectly fine staying here for a while then.”

“Are you kidding me?” he scoffed, “Killian made me run through the East three times just to make sure you’re perfectly safe to stay.”

“Then I won’t have any trouble sleeping at night, don’t you think?” I grinned, “Now get out of here and thank him for me, will you?”

“Sure thing,” Heath said.

After one last proper goodbye, I watched Heath drive off and make his leave before I proceeded my way over to the cabin.

As soon as I stepped inside my temporary home, I was greeted by the faded scents of different werewolves who have once taken refuge in the same place during their heat.

The room was furnished plainly and without much thought, with a small couch settled in front of a small fireplace, and a small bed meant to be occupied by a small person.

The interiors were rustic and the floorboards were weak and creaking beneath my weight due to its old age, and I figured that it wasn’t long before it finally collapsed.

I threw my bags onto the bed and grimaced at the dust that immediately managed to suspend into the air.

Walking over to the fireplace, I crouched down and frowned after noticing that there were no woods prepared for use, and I had to go outside to collect them just for the sake of keeping myself warm.

“Great,” I sighed.

As soon as I landed half of the week in isolation, I had grown to rely on a specific routine, which included a lot of time for me to eat.

My increased appetite was hard to manage because it had completely doubled, and I had to make sure that I was constantly eating every four hours due to my recurring hunger.

And I was glad for supplying myself a decent amount of food as I had expected that I wasn’t going to consume food as I usually did.

I knew I wasn’t eating for myself anymore, I was eating for two.

My routine also included my need to supply some wood for the fireplace, taking my time to wander around the forest before coming back inside the cabin with an arm full of wood.

And then by the end of my usual activities, I would lay in bed to surround myself in silence.

Listening.

Anticipating.

Dreading.

Silence was common in isolation, yet sounding deep within myself, was the noise of my own turmoil.

Everyday I could feel my nature coming into further reach, the claws of my wolf getting closer to her opportunity to swipe the surface that kept her from the world.

She was so close that I could already feel her emotions, how betrayed she felt of my choice to keep her down, and how wrathful she was to be bounded to a coward that knew nothing of purpose.

Her approach was gradual, as if it was meant to keep me completely afraid of myself, and it was exactly what I felt.

I pinched the tender flesh of my hips and scowled as I noticed how my body had taken a shift of appearance due to my heat.

“Are you kidding me?” I huffed.

Just halfway through the week, my hair increased in volume, my cheeks flushed, and my lips turned full. I had more flesh on places that were supposed to be lean, filling in my body to the point that it changed the proportion of my breasts and the curve of my ass.

My nights were spent with me writhing on the bed, my body completely wrapped in a scorching pain that remained underneath my skin, and the burn was much more centered within my abdomen.

It was a nightmare to go through them everyday while I was alone, and it almost led my to think that separating myself from the pack wasn’t such a good idea.

But as soon as I was going to reach the full extent of my heat, my needs were going to increase tenfold, and my mind was only going to be clouded by an aching desire to procreate.

I couldn’t trust anyone and I knew I couldn’t trust myself as well.

It was a curse, really; having to bear the instincts of an animal to breed, it was one of the reasons that encouraged me to take the antiserum.

It seemed that werewolves didn’t have any choice that applied to what they really want, their options only revolved around their instinct.

It was in the afternoon when I got dressed to start my search for a new supply of wood.

And as I walked around the cabin, my hands couldn’t help but run through the walls, letting my fingertips brush every space that I managed to cross as I left the mark of my scent in a place that I considered as my very own den.

As I walked outside of my haven and went through the forest, I noticed that there weren’t any traces of sunlight and the sky remained dark and gloomy. The cold wind was biting my skin, enough to leave my face much more flushed than it already was.

I was already trembling, my body somehow finding a hard time to settle down as I began searching for wood, and I flinched at the sound of the harsh crack of thunder.

It was going to rain soon which forced me to quicken my search.

I bursted through the door with harsh breaths as I hugged on the collection of woods tightly against my chest, and it was in the exact moment that it began to rain profusely.

My ears were ringing as I listened close to the increasing beat of my heart, and I nearly lost my breath when heat began to spread throughout my body.

I dropped the woods and landed on my knees with a wince as the heat morphed into a searing pain settled within.

My eyes were shut as I found trouble trying to breathe, keeping my arms wrapped tightly around myself as I landed against the floorboards with a cry.

My right hand jerked and came down onto the ground beneath me, and I was left horrified as I noticed that my nails had completely extended to become hard, lethal claws that were stuck through the wooden floor.

I didn’t have time to react when a harsh blow to my chest left me completely breathless.

And a low, hostile growl escaped my throat, forcing me to freeze in complete horror at what was about to come.

I was shifting.

My stomach started to heave, and it wasn’t long before I began spewing out thick, dark liquid straight to the floor, the appearance of it holding great ressemblance to the antiserum that I had been sticking into my body.

She was releasing them, purging my system with the substance that deemed her weakness.

She was wiping me clean from the inside.

I gazed down at the puddle of liquid beneath me and sobbed while the constant sound of my wild’s whimpers and growls would cut me off.

I cried out when the bone of my arm had suddenly altered itself to fit the structure of a wolf, and gritted my teeth as I tried to pull her down with everything I had.

As soon as a bone would shift, I was quick to fight it back into place.

It was an even battle between human and primal instinct, neither of the two winning over the other, and my body was constantly twisting and turning in different directions as I kept myself from letting her rule me over.

But I was starting to lose the strength, the searing pain all too much for me to handle as my body began to overheat.

I ran outside of my cabin and into the pouring rain, my clothes sticking to my skin as I cried hard for my losing battle against the monster underneath my skin.

“Stop,” I gritted my teeth, fingers curling into the muddy ground as I felt my leg shift.

I needed someone.

I was left alone and vulnerable to the monster completely set on reaching the surface of me.

Killian.

His name was the only thing was kept appearing in my head, and somehow, I was desperate for the solace that he had long been generous to offer me since we met.

I needed him.

But he wasn’t anywhere near me, I told him to stay away, and he kept his word.

“Fucking stop!” I screamed and immediately choked on my next words when my arms immediately altered themselves.

By then, I had lost what strength I had left.

Fur replacing skin.

Claws extending.

Canines descending.

And when I closed my eyes and opened them back again, it felt like I was seeing through a window.

I was merely the audience to my nature’s actions.

My wolf jolted up with weakened legs, her eyes frantic as she searched her surroundings with small cries that expressed her fear and sorrow.

She was unsure, her entire form shaking in complete shock as she looked around the world like it was the first time.

And I was left with a heart laced with guilt and remorse as she released a pained, desolated howl into the sky.

“Valerie?”

Her short-lived vulnerability deteriorated within a second, completely freezing as she heard the familiar voice, and she turned around to see Killian with eyes widened warily.

His hair was damp and his breathing was aggressive. He was wearing a grey shirt and a pair faded blue jeans that were so soaked that it was sticking to his skin.

Killian kept his hands raised cautiously for the raging wolf, and I was afraid that if he ever made a wrong move, then she was never going to think twice on going for his throat.

Any offense made against her had death as a price to pay.

She snarled and kept her hackles raised, baring her teeth to show her intent of hurting as she began her approach on Killian. Each step was taken gradually and she kept each land of her paws firm and hard on the muddy ground.

“Listen to me, Valerie—”

She widened her mouth and snarled, displeased.

Killian must’ve gotten the message and wore a hard look on his face as he tried to contemplate his next move.

He clenched his jaw and slowly sunk down on both of his knees, and I watched in horror as he calmly waited for the wolf until she was standing directly in front of him with her bared teeth close enough to touch his stubbled cheek.

Thinking that she was far too distracted with what was in front of her, I tried to fight back my control, making my wolf snap her teeth and startled Killian, as she sent her bold contempt right through my mind.

And what she was trying to say to me was clear as day,

Fuck off.

She continued to whiff Killian’s scent, her snout nudging the side of his jaw before going down to the crook of his neck.

He shivered.

Killian’s hands tried to move, only to be stopped by a feral growl that was meant to warn him with what he was about to do. He kept the movements of his hand slow and calculated, and the wolf stilled when the palm of his hand had landed on her grey fur.

As if it pushed Killian to go even further, his let his fingers brush through her fur, which helped lessen the hostile growl that incessantly left the throat of my wolf.

Bit by bit, she began to lean more into his touch, and Killian brought his face closer to her before staring directly into her eyes as he let his fingers brush the back of her pointed ears.

“I won’t hurt you and no one will,” Killian promised and smiled softly.

As if his words alone was enough to send all of my wolf’s defenses crumbling at his feet, she released a whine and nudged her head closer to him.

“I need Valerie back,” Killian mumbled and let his cheeck brush against the side of her face, “Bring her back to me.”

The wolf refused with a stubborn growl, which sent a hard look to settle on Killian face as he let his eyes burn right through her, the intensity of them even finding the strength to reach me.

“Shift,” Killian said, his voice deep and stern as he stopped the movements of his fingers against her fur, forcing her to fight herself from tucking her tail between her legs.

He made it seem so easy.

She released a frustrated whine, her will easily bended to accomodate Killian’s wish, which led her to step down and return in her usual place settled at the back of my mind.

The backward shift was slow and painful, and Killian was there to witness it all as each joints altered themselves back into place.

I couldn’t move, and I stayed laying on the ground in a fetal position as I failed to find the energy to try and comprehend what was happening around me.

I was tired, drained of strength after my body had gone through its shifting after a very long time.

Without a word, Killian picked me up with ease before heading his way back into my den.

And from there, as I let myself sink deeper into his arms, I thought,

He was a better cure than a few syringe stuck to my skin.