Shattered Hearts A MFM Love Story

~ ~ Logan ~ ~

* Present Day *

I was in the barn and though it was early summer; it was still brisk in the mornings.

“Diagnosis, Doc?” Out in the barn with me was our vet, Calvin. He didn’t look up and he walked around my horse.

“Can you fetch me the portable ultrasound, Logan?” He flicked his head toward the door. “It’s in my truck, bag seat, black bag.”

“Sure thing, Doc.” I picked up the pace, returning in less than a minute.

“Thanks, just drop it there.”

I carried on watching, waiting whilst gnawing at the soft flesh of my inside cheek.

Late on yesterday, I’d brought one of my old timers in, Jethro, from the pastures. A few days ago, I’d spotted him pawing the ground and not exactly acting like himself. And then yesterday Hank, one of my ranch hands said he’d gotten worse and was restless and cranky.

Restless and cranky, I was used to. Jethro here was a Quarter Horse, and we had retired him out to the pastures for the last few years. Luckily I’d got hold of Calvin, who told me he would swing by this morning.

And here he was as I watched him fire up the machine I’d just fetched for him. “Anything?” I knew I was being an inpatient son-of-bitch.

Calvin grumbled. “Give me a minute.” Running a hand along my horse’s underbelly, with that fancy device. His eyebrows scrunched then relaxed as he spoke in a low whisper to Jethro, trying to soothe him.

I swiped my hand across my chin, scraping the stubble, waiting for him to finish up. Jethro was getting on in years, touching twenty-three. He’d been my Ma’s horse and when she’d left, I was the only one he’d let near him, ride him. And the idea he might be at the end of the road didn’t sit right with me.

“Doc?” I was getting impatient with my gut tightening because deep down, I already knew what was wrong.

You didn’t spend your whole life around horses and not learn a thing or two.

“I’m afraid your initial thoughts were right, Logan. It’s Colic.”

Fuck. I knew it. Colic in a younger horse you could manage, but in old-timers, not that easy.

My shoulders sagged. You’d think I’d be used to losing horses living and working the ranch my whole life. But growing up with Jethro, he was my last link to my Ma.

Calvin crouched and rooted around in his bag. “Add in some beet pulp and rice bran to his feed, but you have to be prepared, Logan. It’s something we can manage for a while, but his age won’t be helping.” He pulled out a small bottle. “Add some oil in too.” He held the bottle up. “Damn, not enough. I’ll call in with some later, on my way home.”

He rose, brushing off hay and dust from his jeans.

“Thanks, Doc,” I said with little to no enthusiasm.

“You know he ain’t gonna be around forever, Logan?”

He didn’t have to tell me. I gave a slow nod, the ache in my chest quite real. Nothing in life was forever. I’d learned that pretty early on in life. I sighed, lifting my hat, running a hand through my hair, before sitting it back on my head.

“Well, I’d better get on.” He patted my arm, sympathy reflecting in his wan smile. I walked him out, waving him off and then headed back inside the barn. Two of the stable hands, AJ and Trevor, were mucking out stalls and filling up the troughs.

Jethro shifted where he stood, tense and antsy, clearly unhappy about being in the stall. I grabbed a handful of oats from a nearby feed bag and offered them to my boy. “You hungry ol’ man?”

He let out an ungrateful snort but took what I was offering.

“Why, here ya are,” came a voice from the barn door.

Fuck. My stomach plummeted having forgotten. Slowly, I lifted my gaze, meeting the eager eyes of the woman I’d left in my bed this morning.

Cindy Fairchilds.

I turned, and lifted another handful of oats, offering them to Jethro, cursing my stupidity.

“Why are ya out here in the barn?”

I winced, letting out a quiet, weary sigh. It had been a mistake that I’d brought her back home last night. Although, I couldn’t for the life of me remember asking her.

That was mistake number one...

I turned my attention back to my horse, fussing his ear, wondering how best to handle this. I’d learned women required far more gentle handling than any fussy and cranky horse I’d come across.

“I woke up, and you’d gone,” she said and out of my peripheral vision I watched cock her hip and narrow that gaze on me. “It wasn’t nice, Logan.” Her voice hitched. “It was lonely all’s by myself in that big bed of yours.”

I didn’t think she would appreciate me waking her at the crack of dawn. Working on the ranch meant every day was an early start, no matter how late I stayed up or even if I was sick. Shit still needed doin’.

AJ and Trevor threw a glance my way, biting back their matching smirks. My top lip curled, and they both looked away pretty damn sharpish. I thought it best they didn’t hang around for this conversation.

“How ’bout you boys head out back, start shifting those bales and check over in the other barn on the working horses. We used the working horses in the pastures to herd the cattle, amongst other things.

“Mornin’ boys,” Cindy smiled as they passed her and she moseyed over to me, resting her small hand on my bicep, squeezing just a little. “I missed you, baby,” she said as sweet as any sugar, with her long fake lashes fluttering, causing a draft.

Oh, Christ. This was the last thing I needed today.

But it was my fault.

Me and Cindy had an arrangement—that arrangement usually started in Nash Coals bar and ended at her place, but somehow between the phone call from my brother, Jackson and walking out of the bar. She’d come home with me and don’t even ask me how she ended up staying the entire night. I must have hit my head on something.

I turned to face her and there’s no disputing Cindy here was a fine-looking woman with all the right equipment for any red-blooded man to sink his teeth into, and I had...many times.

The only trouble I had with our arrangement lately was her thinking we were going steady.

Like that shit was ever gonna happen.

And I was damn sure I’d made it clear at the start.

“How’s ’bout I head back inside the house and fix us sumthin to eat?” Her red-slicked lips curled up, her white teeth flashing. “And then we can find something more fun to do.” The glimmer in her green eyes hinted at something mischievous.

And I knew exactly what kind of fun she wanted.

It left me little choice but to pull the rug from under her feet. Today. Now. “Cindy, look, we’ve had a good time... but—”

Her jaw dropped. “You breakin’ up with me, Logan Reilly?” she asked before I could finish.

Breaking up with her? “Cindy. You’ve always known what this was—” I gestured with my hand. “Between us—it was just some fun, nothing serious.”

She inhaled, sucking in all the air around her, puffing her chest out. Damn, this was exactly why I never brought women back here to the house. “We’ve been doing this now for three months, Logan, and yea—” She flicked her long dark hair over her shoulder. “It may have started out that way, but I thought— ”

I held my hand up to stop her. “See, that’s where this went wrong, darlin’. You let yourself think.”

Fuck. I knew I’d said the wrong thing as I replayed the words in my head and realised how they sounded. She was gonna think I was saying she was dumb when all I was trying to say was she’d read too much into our arrangement, which was drinking, dancing and sex with no strings. Simple enough rules, I’d thought?

Cindy’s nostrils flared and her face reddened and I should be thankful right about now she didn’t own a gun.

“Are you sayin’ I’m stupid, Logan Reilly—is that what this is?”

I knew it.

I held up my hands in defence, shaking my head. “I would never say or imply such a thing. I was merely trying to point out. I wanted nothing serious.”

“So what you’re telling me is—this is over?”

How many ways did I need to say it? “Look, you’re a real nice girl and all, but I’m not the settling kind.”

She planted her hand on her hips, drumming her fingers. And I wasn’t sure how long this stand-off was gonna last.

But then something worse happened... much worse. Her hands dropped, her shoulders sagged, and her lashes lowered. “Why? Is there sumthin wrong with me, Logan?”

And when she cast her eyes up to mine, they were shiny, unfocused.

Fuck. I didn’t do well with crying women.

With a sigh and half a step closer, I pressed a hand to her shoulder. This was about as affectionate as it was gonna get. “Hey, you know there is nothing wrong with you. You have half the male population of Lockwood following you around in the hope you’ll throw them a crumb or two.”

She sniffled. “But I don’t want them.” She caught a falling tear. “They’re not you.”

Fuck, this was taking way too much of my time. Luckily for me, sunlight poured through the opening barn door and in strolled my twin brother, Jackson, yawning, scrubbing a hand through his short hair.

I’d never been happier to see him.

His eyes went from me to Cindy and back to me. “Am I interrupting sumthin?”

Fuck no. “No. Cindy here was just ’bout to head home.”

Cindy huffed, shooting a suspicious glare at Jackson. “So that’s how it’s gonna be?” Fetching her eyes back my way.

She’d gone from waterworks back to angry. Her emotions were giving me whiplash.

“You just decide when you’ve had your fun, Logan Reilly, and then throw me out like yesterday’s trash?”

God help me.

“Fine!” She huffed when she realised she would not get the answer she wanted. Turning, she kicked up dust before stomping off. “And don’t y’all think you can sweet talk me, cowboy when you realise you’ve made the biggest mistake of your life!” She threw over her shoulder.

I rolled my eyes as she flounced off.

Jackson’s eyebrows raised and he snorted. “See, you’re still charming the ladies.” He chuckled. “Think ya well and truly burned that bridge, brother.” Looking over his shoulder. “Damn, nice ass, though.” He pointed out.

He wasn’t wrong.

And whilst he watched Cindy walk away, I let myself take a good look at him. He’d called last night saying he was heading back but never gave an explanation why.

Instead of his camouflage pants he usually wore when on leave, he’d swapped them out for jeans and a cotton flannel shirt and in his hand he carried his Brick cowboy hat. Me, I was more of a plain and simple Stetson kind of guy, but Jackson had always been about appearances and women loved the Brick. You found most country singers sporting one, with most of them never having done a hard day’s labour in their entire lives.

“You fancy ridin’ out to no-man boundary?” I patted Jethro, before making sure his stall was secure. “Need a look at some fencing. Cattle been getting through.” Jackson turned to listen. “We fixed it, but wanna just check it over.” We had a few ranch hands but some of the inexperienced ones rushed jobs and I liked to oversee everything.

“Yeah.” Hitching a shoulder. “Sure.”

“You want me to tack up Champ for you?” Champ was Jackson’s horse. He was a beautiful Mustang, roughly about twelve years old.

The lines on his forehead deepened. “I ain’t been away long enough not to remember how to saddle up my horse, Logan,” he scoffed.

I think I’d hit a nerve there. “Never said you did—just trying to be nice, that’s all.”

As we rode in relative silence, I kept thinking something was wrong with Jackson. But he kept cutting every conversation short. His phone ringing out snagged my attention. But he did nothing to answer it or see who was calling. “Don’t you need to get that?”

Jackson kept his head facing forward, not bothering to respond to me or his phone.

Well colour me intrigued. “Jackson!”

“What?”

“Your phone—do you not need to get that?”

“Nah,” was all he said, and I was losing my patience with him—what the hell was his problem?

After a few more minutes of quiet, I’d had enough of the silent treatment. “So how long you fixin’ on staying?” I asked him, having not expected him back for another few months at least. Told me last time he was home he was heading overseas but couldn’t tell me where.

Silence.

And I was about to get off my horse, drag him off his and throw him on the ground and wrestle some answers out of him.

“I’m not leaving.”

I pulled on the rein to slow down my horse, my head turned in his direction. “What—you’re coming home?” He kept facing straight. “For good?”

I watched his chest expand as he nodded once.

“Everything okay, Jackson?”

“Yeah.” He blew out a breath. “Just had enough, that’s all.”

This was news to me. He couldn’t leave quick enough, saying there had to be more to life than just this ranch. Me, I loved it here, always had and although our Pa had left the ranch to both of us. I always knew Jackson could walk away—and he did.

“And what? Just like that, you can leave?” I didn’t have a clue how the army worked.

Jackson shrugged, not at all concerned. “Yep.”

He was lying or definitely hiding something. Me and Jackson might not be as close as we once were, but I could still read him. Hell, at times I knew what he was thinking.

The trouble was, no matter how much I pushed it. He wouldn’t tell me shit till he was good and ready. He inherited his stubbornness from our Pa.

This would need some lubrication of the alcohol kind. “Hey, tonight, you fancy heading to the next town over. The Phoenix has had a face-lift since you last stepped inside the joint?”

“Maybe,” he answered.

Fuck. Pulling teeth would be easier.

But if he didn’t want to talk. Fine. I knew he would crack eventually and ask me about her...

“You seen her?”

Jackpot... and a small smile pulled at my mouth, wondering how long that question had been floating up that head of his. The her in question was Maddy Lockwood or Maddy Stanton. Fuck, I didn’t know if she’d kept her last name, but knowing her mama, she wouldn’t want to give up her precious Lockwood name.

But, the truth was she’d been avoiding me. “Nah, see little of her.” Not since the day she married that one-hundred percent bonafide asshole, Cooper Stanton, and I’d wanted to pop his head like a zit.

“Is she happy?” He shifted in his saddle. “With him?”

My gut was telling me something was wrong and just a month back, she acted like a skittish foal when she’d seen me driving up to drop off a horse at Riley Jo’s, her twin sisters’ place. Riley Jo had not long since got married to some doctor and was expecting their first child. The Doc had bought some land from us for Riley and she’d set up a horse sanctuary and was looking to offer rides up the trails.

As I’d parked my truck, Maddy had kept her head low and darted to her car before I could get a good look or even say hello.

And Riley Jo hadn’t helped ease my concerns when she confided she was worried about Maddy.

I couldn’t risk telling Jackson either, or else he’d be heading over to Stanton’s place and dragging her back here. My brother was hot-headed, but I wouldn’t deny that thought had crossed my mind more than once.

And if I was honest with myself, I was still having difficulty adjusting to the fact that she married Cooper fuckin’ Stanton.

And if I’d had a shit-list, then he would be right at the top. I’d heard being married hadn’t stopped him from sowing his wild oats, as well as rumours he’d been involved in what happened to Riley Jo being assaulted and ending up in the hospital. Although lack of evidence had meant nothing happened. And if there had been any, I was sure this town would cover it up. The Stantons were good at getting away with shit.

What had Maddy been thinking?

But there was an upcoming town event, and if I could get her on her own for a few minutes... “The Lockwood’s are throwing some fancy party as its Lockwood Creek’s anniversary or some shit. You fancy coming with me?”

Jackson wasn’t one for socializing.

He stayed quiet and as I brought my horse to a stop, about to dismount as we’d reached no-man’s boundary.

Jackson stopped his horse. His eyebrows scrunched together, shaking his head. “Nah, I can’t see her with him.” He dismounted Champ, leading him to the fence, wrapping the bridle. “I’m not ready.”

Walking along the fencing, and testing the structure, I stopped to inspect the work. Beside me, Jackson’s boots kicked up the dirt and I could hear his mind churning with the same thoughts I had.

“Fuck, Logan. I’m still having trouble believing she married the bastard...even after— ” he stopped, his jaw clenched, muttering a curse under his breath.

I often wondered if it was my fault. I’d pushed her too hard at the barn. But Jackson had already said he was thinking about enlisting and I selfishly hadn’t wanted him to and thought if I convinced Maddy to consider us both, then he might not leave.

Turned out I’d fucked that up and he enlisted, anyway.

And yet still I couldn’t let go of Maddy Lockwood. My heart didn’t want to surrender, and I doubt it ever would.

I’d noticed her from being a kid and then we’d caught her and Riley Jo trying to steal one of our horses, and offered her the deal of kissing us to keep quiet. And from that day my entire world flipped and I made the regular trips to Critter Creek, hoping she’d be there. More often than not, I’d be disappointed, but sometimes I’d find her there writing in her diary or reading a book. One of those mills and boon types my ma loved, filled with romantic nonsense that real men could never live up to.

I’d sit and listen to her talk and do everything I could to make her smile and laugh. Hell, I memorized every single one of her smiles, learning the meaning of each one. And although I’d never asked to kiss her again, I knew when she turned eighteen I was gonna do something about my feelings for her.

The only problem was my brother, Jackson. He had the same feelings, too. And that wasn’t the first time. We were always attracted to the same women, and we’d got over that hurdle by doing what our Ma’s always preached to us as kids. Share.

And we’d shared one or two. Okay, I’m lying. The number was well into double digits. It was clear chicks were hot for a couple of cowboy twins and none of them batted an eyelash at making out with us both at the same time.

But none of them held a candle to Maddy Lockwood. She was different and for the first time in my life, sharing felt like coming in second at the derby.

I didn’t want to share her.

And from the way Jackson looked at her. I didn’t think he wanted to share either.

I shook my head. I was talking like she was still available—not a married woman. And if she told me she was happy when I spoke with her, then it was time to cut all ties and move the fuck on.

“When you’re done here. You wanna head back, get some breakfast?” asked Jackson. “My stomach’s starting to cannibalize itself.”

I was done here, happy with the work. And right on cue, my stomach grumbled. “Ladies first,” I smirked.

Jackson laughed, and I glimpsed the brother I’d grown up with. “Fuck off, Logan.”

That I’d made him laugh told me whatever he was hiding would eventually come out in the wash. And in three days I would also get my answer and even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear, me and Jackson would be fine.