Shattered Hearts A MFM Love Story

~ ~ Maddy ~ ~

* Twelve Months Before the Wedding *

My mama’s house was even more crowded and noisy than usual, and I knew why, but I just didn’t want to think about it. In fact, I tried to conceal myself in the sea of faces I’d grown up with to avoid what was coming.

The room hushed.

Gripping my empty champagne glass so tightly, I thought it might shatter as I turned to see Cooper Stanton on one knee.

Oh. My. God! This was it and that horrible feeling fell through me like a stone sinking to the bottom of icy water. And Riley Jo would have a cow if she saw the sight before me now.

When Riley Jo and I were children, we had dreamt of the moment when Prince Charming would be on his knees, taking my hand in his, asking me to his forever.

But the man on his knees here in front of me now wasn’t my Prince Charming.

Heck, I didn’t think he was a prince of any kind.

Not that Cooper wasn’t a catch, and I was sure he would be many a girl’s dream. As men went, he was a fine specimen. A wall of muscle, dark and broody and my mama said his family was one of the finest in the South. But peering into those eyes of his, I saw nothing for me—empty, cold even... and definitely no love.

Not that I loved him either.

“Look Frank,” I heard my mama gush. This was more her moment than mine. “Why it’s ’bout time,” she said.

Cooper cleared his throat and frustration dug its claws into my flesh. For me, this was a countdown. Twelve months and I would officially be married to the man on his knees.

Why?

Because I was a Lockwood and as the perfect Lockwood daughter, they expected me to save this family from ruin. And although I’d agreed in part, it still didn’t prepare me for the reality of it.

I guess you could say I’d been foolishly wishing for a miracle.

Cooper squeezed my hand, demanding my attention. Face tilted up to mine. “Madelyn Marie Lockwood.” He took a deep breath. “Will you do me the honour of marrying me?”

His grip tightened as if holding me in place because he could see I wanted to bolt. Run as fast as my legs could carry me.

I tried to draw a breath around the ache blooming in my chest. I didn’t want this man. Hell, we hardly knew each other. We hadn’t even had sex, and I wasn’t planning on fixin’ that tiny detail until I had to, insisting we had to be married first. But the very idea of being intimate with Cooper Stanton made my stomach churn something rotten.

My eyes followed his free hand as it dug inside his pocket, fishing out a small velvet box. Releasing my hand, he held it in the centre of his spread palm using his other hand to open it.

A pretty if not garish diamond ring stared back at me and right on cue, gasps filled the space between us from my mama and her friends. But all that spun inside my mind on an endless eddy was my sister asking when was I going to stand up for myself and say enough is enough?

“Isn’t this just perfect, Frank?” said my mama as I caught wind of her in my peripheral view. Her hand clasped to her chest, eyes lit up with dollar signs. “Don’t keep that fine young man waiting,” her voice was shrill, insistent.

I opened my mouth.No. No. No. “Yes, of course I’ll marry you.” If a person could die from speaking, then those words would have been the knife to my heart.

The room erupted in ooohs and aaohs, as Cooper slipped the ring onto my finger and my breath caught in my throat.

I was weak, and pathetic as I listened to Mama coo to her fake friends. My stomach clenched tight, feeling trapped, Stella, our housekeeper, walked into the room with a fresh tray of champagne, her face reflecting the storm of emotions running through my body.

I wanted nothing more than to escape.

Cooper rose, keeping hold of my hand. He pulled us closer, letting his hand slip from mine as he placed it on my hips, leaning it to press his mouth against my ear. “Smile beautiful, twelve months and you’ll be mine!”

If only he knew I’d never be his—not in my heart, at least.

The room suddenly felt smaller as everyone crowded round us, congratulating and hugging and kissing me as the men slapped Cooper on the back proudly.

I nearly emptied my stomach when his daddy pressed his lips to my cheek and his hands went around back, squeezing my ass. I jerked away from him, shocked, a gasp almost escaping my throat.

Had he just touched me inappropriately?

Lucky for me, Stella saw my distress and held out a drink, tilting it slightly so a trickle escaped the glass and ran down the front of my dress.

“Oops, how clumsy of me,” she said. “Come through to the kitchen child, and let me get that out before it stains.” Nodding, I followed her out and once in the kitchen I made a dash for the door, now hurrying to the stables like a panicked mouse, practically running, my progress hindered by the heels of my shoes as if they were working against me too, trying to trap me here.

Hot and fierce loathing careered inside my head—cursing my weakness for not saying no. For not standing up to my mama. For the mess my family was in.

I wished Riley Jo was here. I missed her so damn much. But she was far from here.

Free.

Swiping an angry tear away. At least one of us was free. Free to make our own choices. Free to love whoever we damn well pleased.

Reaching the stables, I saddled up Beau as fast as my hands could manage. It didn’t matter that the dress I wore wasn’t fit for riding. I hiked it up and put my foot in the stirrup and mounted.

And then I was tearing through the back fields, going to the one place where I knew my family wouldn’t look for me...Critter Creek.

The sun left disappearing over the horizon and the night was hot on my heels. The breeze slid through my hair and I tried to let it calm me as it dried the tears from my cheeks. Easing up, I pulled on Beau’s reins to slow him down. The night was sticky and my hair clung to my forehead and the nape of my neck.

Coming to a stop, I dismounted and patted Beau’s mane, wrapping the lead to a bridle around the branch of the closest tree. “Relax boy, I’m not going far.” My hand slid across his long neck, pausing to see the diamond ring mocking me with its sparkle, reminding me just how pathetic I was.

Dropping my hand, I looked up, and the moon now winked behind the thinning clouds, casting its shadows over the trees. Some might think it eerie out here, but I loved this place and knew it like the back of my hand.

I kicked off my heels to feel the spiky grass poke through my toes as I wriggled them about. It brought a smile to my face as I dragged down the skirt of my fancy to cover my legs.

“That’s a darn shame right there.” I froze in place as a deep voice rumbled over the sound of the crickets. “Hiding those fine legs of yours.” He made a humming sound. “You fixin’ on tellin’ me what’s the occasion?”

I sucked in a gasp, not expecting anyone to be out here, let alone one of the twins. Logan? It had to be him, Jackson was overseas.

With the breeze encouraging my skirt to tease my shins, I slowly turned. The moon sliced across his sharp features and although I couldn’t get a clear look; I knew in my heart that it was Jackson, sitting with his back pressed up against an old fallen tree trunk.

“You’re back?” I whispered and with every breath, every beat of my faltering heart, I blinked to make sure I hadn’t imagined him there.

“Yeah, I’m back, Princess.”

Jackson had enlisted, not a month after me running away from the barn, back to my safe, boring world. And now here he was, wearing the camouflage pants he usually wore when leaving or returning from duty.

How long had he been home? Had he come straight here to look for me?

My mouth dried as I tried to act like I was in no way affected by him being back. “For good?”

He shook his head as he moved, his arm lifting to bring a bottle to his lips. “Special leave. Logan said Pa’s about done.”

My heart squeezed. My mama told me Ol’ man Reilly had cancer brought on by his many years of drinking, she’d said. “I’m so sorry Jackson.”

“Don’t you feel sorry for me, Princess.”

His voice had a rough, growling tone and my feet moved by their own free will to be closer to him.

“Why are you out here, not at home with your pa?” It was better to avoid the reason I was out here. I didn’t want Jackson to look at me the way he did when he found out me and Cooper were dating. It nearly broke my heart. Not that he’d said anything. No, it was the anger and pain in his eyes, which was far worse than any words he could have said.

Closer, his body tensed. He was sad and looked so alone. His dark hair was cut short, no longer the shaggy hair that framed his handsome face. He looked up, and I sucked in a breath, my feet stopped dead and even from here, I could see his eyes teeming with emotions that made my chest ache.

“You never answered my question, Princess.” He let the bottle of whisky rest on his thigh. “What’s the occasion that has you dressing up like you’re going to the prom?”

I looked down at my dress, the one my mama had chosen. Yeah, I guess you could say it looked like a prom dress, long, silky, wrapping around my slender body.

“You being out here dressed like that ain’t a good place for you to be right now.” He lifted the bottle again.

My mama always warned me to be careful of a man whilst he was drinking, but his expression was ravaged and I knew he was in pain and to focus on his was far better than focusing on my own right now. “I needed to get away.”

Resting the bottle on the ground, he pushed up, brushing the dust off his butt. “You okay, Maddy?”

No. I stepped back. One step. Two steps. “Yeah, just couldn’t breathe back there, you know?”

He started toward me and I didn’t move as words poured out. “I just wish I was free, like Riley Jo.”

Closer still, his familiar smell flooded my nose along with whisky and I just knew I was gonna lose this man forever once he found out I was settin’ to marry Cooper.

“Nothing stopping you up and leaving, Princess.” He lifted his hand, catching a few stands of my loose hair, wrapping it around his finger. “Hell, we could go right now.” His thumb swiped across my cheek and I leaned into his touch. “Just say the word, Princess.”

We? “What? You’d do that...leave?” Was he serious? “Don’t they look badly on deserters?”

Jackson’s eyes pinned me in place. “For you Princess, I’d take any punishment they saw fit to dish out.”

“What about Logan?” I stared back as his eyes flickered with something else.

His southern accent deepened. “What about him?”

I shook my head. Curse these two men. And yeah, they might have been almost identical, but there was something about Jackson, dangerous and that dimple of his got me every time and then throw in those deep, playful eyes, it would be so easy to lose myself entirely in him. “You’re askin’ me to choose, Jackson?”

The moon angled itself to let me see him clearly for the first time in months. I breathed him in like air and I searched his eyes for an answer. We’d never talked about that day in the barn, but not a single day didn’t pass where I didn’t think about it.

I tried to smile, but I wanted to cry. Jackson’s eyes shifted, looking over my head into the distance. “Yeah, I want you to choose, Princess.”

How could I choose? Not that I ever had a choice—not really.

“Could you hurt Logan—your brother?”

“...Maybe.” He cleared his throat, his head dropping. “Or maybe I might be willing for you to have us both?” His hand reached for mine and I knew he’d seen the ring. A ring that was meant to signify love but for me it meant entrapment.

His breathing hardened and instead of turning his back on me like I expected him to he stayed exactly where he was, his eyes lifting to mine. “Choose me... hell, choose us.” Voice quietened, aching with pain. “Just not him, Maddy. Not him.” He cursed under his breath. “Not that bastard, he doesn’t deserve you.”

Him. Both. Share. And my heart sank. Thoughts like that were silly... crazy, in fact. I shook my head. “You keep forgetting Jackson Reilly—I’m a good girl.”

“The perfect daughter,” he said with a wry smile, his eyes now even sadder.

“Yeah, the perfect daughter,” swallowing my words.

He looked at me again, those greys piercing inside me. “I can’t be that girl, Jackson.” His hand slipped through my hair, reaching around the back of my neck to gently fetch me closer, forcing me to angle my head up to look into his eyes, laying every emotion bare for me to soak in.

“You know he will never—” he stopped himself and his eyes dropped to my mouth, his expression now...hungry.

And oh boy, did I want him to kiss me right now.

I hadn’t kissed Jackson since the night I’d sought him out when I heard he’d enlisted. It had scared me to think it might be the last time I ever saw him. But he’d promised he would come back and when he came back for good he was coming for me.

Moving closer, only a slither of vibrating tension between us as I reached up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his. Pouring everything I felt into what had to be our last kiss.

Jackson didn’t flinch, taking the lead he walked us backwards till the closest tree pressed on the bare skin of my back. He wedged himself fully against me and I was surrounded by him, heated by him. Sinfully aware of the hard press of his hips and the erection beneath his pants.

I gasped against his mouth as his hands came up to cup my face, holding me there as his lips moved over mine.

Possessive. Demanding.

He made no concessions, no apologies as his tongue stroked into my mouth and nudged against mine. His kiss was just like I’d remembered. Fiery and full of heated raw need and I could feel the burn from the top of my head right down to my curling toes as my inner sex clenched and my nipples pinched hard.

And the more I lost myself in him, the more I could pretend it was just us. Not stopping there, my senses were tossed out amid the lust strumming through my body. My heart thumping hard in my chest and my body reacting as if every part was readying itself for him, tearing at the tiny thread of control I had when I was around him.

The man was dangerous and kissed me with an experience, a knowledge worlds away from anything I knew and most likely more than I could ever handle, but it didn’t stop me from wanting him.

His lips left mine, but still close enough that I could feel his breath on them. “You shouldn’t be out here, Princess.”

“I don’t want to be anywhere else right now.”

Before I could figure out what to do, he pulled away, fixing both hands on my hips. “I meant what I said, Maddy. We could go now. They’ll not find us. You don’t have to do this. Let’s be as wild as the wind.” He pleaded.

No one outside my parents and Cooper's family knew of this arrangement, but Jackson could see right through me and he knew the whole thing was a sham.

How could he read me so easily?

And as much as I wanted to...run away, I couldn’t do that to my family. They would lose everything and it would shatter my Nana Em, who would be forced out of her own home.

How could he understand? He couldn’t—no one would.

And I couldn’t be the one to destroy my family. They weren’t perfect, but they were still my family.

I pushed him away, and he staggered back two steps. “Why, Maddy?” With a ragged voice. “Just tell me why?”

“You could never understand Jackson.” I pleaded, holding out my hands. “I don’t have a choice.” The words left my mouth, fuelling the fire in the tight set of his jaw.

And then he shook his head backing away from me.

I’d finally done it, pushed him away.

“Listen good Maddy Lockwood. One day, you’re gonna need me—and Logan and you will make a choice or else I’ll make it for you.” He growled, turning away from me to walk back to his whisky bottle, swiping it from the ground. “Go. Go now Maddy, before I don’t let you go.”

My heart beating faster than a buck facing down the barrel of a gun, I unwrapped Beau’s strap and mounted, pulling his reign to turn him around.

“I’ll be waiting Maddy Lockwood,” were his last words as I ran away from him again, only this time, I was sure it was for good.