Shattered Hearts A MFM Love Story

~ ~ Jackson ~ ~

Cracking an eye open. I tried to lift my head from the pillow. A dull throb had me freezing. Forcing both eyes it was obvious my eyesight was hazy and the dull throb switched to a full-on pounding with the movement.

Ah, shit. I had stupidly forgotten to take my medication the night before. And waking up feeling this bad most likely meant I’d had a seizure during the night. The doctors warned me this might happen.

Laying my head back on the pillow, I took a deep breath and pressed the heels of my hands into the sockets of my eyes. Hoping when I reopened them, the blurriness would be gone.

Nope. Didn’t work. Guessin’ I was outta luck today. I pushed myself up and swung my legs over the side of the bed with waves of nausea and lightheadedness coming to the party. Ugh. Fumbling in my drawer, my fingers wrapped around the bottle of pills. Popping the lid I shook two out and tossed them in my mouth, swallowing without water.

I remained where I sat whilst the fog slowly cleared. It was crazy of me to forget. But to be fair, I’d had a lot on my mind.

Most of my thoughts were on last night and Maddy. She had given me the cold shoulder from the second we stepped foot inside Riley Jo’s home and no matter how much I tried to get her to talk to me beyond one-word replies, there was no budging her.

Stubborn woman.

On the way home, I thought she might loosen up a little, but she shot me down and said we would talk tomorrow.

Well, tomorrow was now today. And I knew exactly what she wanted to talk about and I couldn’t avoid it. Sex with her sister—her twin sister.

I sighed to myself. Maybe it was better like this. That she hated me for sleeping with Riley Jo. Because what if they give me bad news in a few days? Was it fair to expect her to hold my hand, and watch me die?

No, it wasn’t. But I was a selfish asshole and every flush of her cheeks, every time her pretty blue eyes filled with heat, she had me wanting everything from her. Things I’ve been dreaming about since I could remember.

Things I maybe didn’t deserve.

A frown fixed itself to my face as I scrubbed a hand across it, the stubble scratching against my palm. Time to face the music. Heading downstairs, I found Jody cooking up eggs in the pan.

She turned her head my way, briefly. “Ah, it lives,” she chuckled to herself.

“Ha-ha. Can’t a man just sleep in for once?”

She lifted the pan and tipped the scrambled eggs out onto a serving disk. Happily, she lifted the plate and walked toward the table, setting it down. I grabbed a mug and poured myself a coffee.

“A man can. But you’re not any man.” She pointed. “Set the table.”

Setting my mug down, I did as she asked. Looking up, she was watching me. “What?” I asked but then regretted the question.

She came toward me and pinched my chin, angling my face toward hers. “You look like a dog facing its last day on this earth.”

Charmin’.

Her eyes softened. “What’s going on with you, son?”

“Nuthin. Why? What’s going on with you?” I was a little heavy with the snark.

“Don’t you be smart with me. My bullshit detector is ringin’ on loud.”

I yanked my face away from her grip. Jody could see straight through my lies. No matter how much I pretended there was nothing to hide, she seemed hellbent on peeling back my defences and discovering what lay beneath.

Heaving a sigh, she tried again. “Talk to me, Jackson.”

What could I say? I might have a death sentence hanging over my head. “You seen Logan and Maddy this mornin’?”

She huffed through her nose, shaking her head. “You can’t keep it hidden forever,” she threatened.

Yeah. I know. But I needed to be armed with facts first. Know all my options.

“I’m sure he’ll be coming through that door any minute now with Maddy a step behind him, no doubt.”

So Maddy was with him. I’d stood outside her bedroom door, but I was too cowardly to knock. Had he spent the night in her room? Shit. What if she’d had another night terror?

“You boys need to be careful. That girl has heartbreak written all over her.” She shook her head. “And yesterday...” Blowing out a breath. “You need to watch that boy too. His elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top if you know what I mean?”

Cooper fucking Stanton. Every time that motherfu- My inner rant was interrupted by the back door opening. And in came sunshine. But when her eyes landed on me, her smile faltered as heat rose up her cheeks and her eyes dropped from mine.

My heart seized in my chest. Stopped right in its fucking tracks. Logan, who was right behind her, grunted something as his face morphed into a scowl. And didn’t that annoy the hell-outta-me.

Logan shut the door behind him. “See you’re alive then—not sick or anything?”

Oh, he had no idea.

“I’m gonna wash up.” Maddy darted past me before I could react, leaving me with a pissed-off Logan and Jody watching us both.

I rubbed my hand across the back of my neck. “Yeah. Sorry ’bout this morning.” I’d said I’d be up at first light to help him. But my brain had other ideas.

He waved it off with another scowl.

I dialled back my irritation. “If I’ve done something to piss you off, brother, just have at it.” My body tensed, waiting.

His scowl dropped as he looked toward our aunt. “You need any help, Jody?” he offered, seemingly not interested in anything I had to say.

She walked toward the stove, shooing him off with her hand. “Nah, I got this. You go wash up too.”

Heading out, about to walk right past me. He stopped and stepped back one. “Sort your shit out, Jackson.” And then he was gone.

“Well. I don’t know what’s goin’ on between you two, but I think I’m gonna need some waders to cut through the shit that’s rising in here,” said Jody, looking to me, hoping I’d enlighten her.

Wasn’t gonna happen.

Jody rolled her eyes, muttering to herself. No doubt cursing me. “Well, if you ain’t gonna talk.” She pointed to the table. “Sit your ass down and eat some.”

“Not hungry.” Practically stomping off. I wanted out of this clusterfuck that was becoming my life. I grabbed my hat and my phone and slammed the door behind me.

Inside the stables, I calmed myself with some grooming. Thankfully, AJ and Trevor made themselves scarce when I got there. Making a beeline for my Mustang, he acknowledged my presence, nudging my arm. At least Champ was happy to see me.

A whole hour passed when I decided I was done waiting to see if Maddy might come and find me. Tacking up Champ, I would head on up to the East side and help the guys. Lately, it seemed each night we had troublemakers having fun at our expense. Thinking it was amusing to damage fencing and let the cows wander freer than usual.

“It's just you and me, boy.” Rubbing my hand down Champ's long nose. I stilled when I heard the stable door open and the early morning breeze washed around me and I got a whiff of something sweet. Something good. It was refreshing and comforting all at once.

Stepping out from the stall. I swallowed. Hard.

I noticed the dark circles under her eyes, highlighted by the pinch of pink in her cheeks. But damn, she looked beautiful. She’d changed clothes. Hair still in a ponytail she was now wearing a fitted white tee that hugged her slender torso with those small round breasts of hers looking perky as fuck and my eyes trickled down to those cut-off old denim shorts that did nothing to hide those long smooth tanned legs and to top it off. This morning she has on some sexy as fuck cowgirl boots.

What I wouldn’t give to have her ride me in those. And how she looks right now should be illegal and I hated that the guys around the ranch were gonna see her like this. “Nice boots,” I said, when I finally untangled my tongue.

“Thanks. Riley Jo gave them to me,” she replied, pushing some loose strands of hair behind her ear before looking around, most likely hoping AJ and Trevor were around here somewhere.

Well, wasn’t this awkward?

“You fancy riding out with me?” Shit. It’s her first day on the job and Logan might have already given her something to do. “That’s if you’re not doing anything for Logan?”

“Logan said to find you and see if you needed me for anything.” She looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here with me.

“Yeah?” I smiled. “And how’s your first day on the job so far?”

“Good. I think.” She hitched a shoulder. “I’m only about five hours in. So ask me again later.”

“You’ve been up since five?”

“Yeah. I don’t expect a free ride. I’m gonna work hard to pay you and Logan for your kindness, giving me a job and a roof over my head.” She hooked her thumbs inside the back pockets of her shorts, pushing out her chest. Her small tight nipples hardened to points and my tongue slipped out to wet my lips.

Maddy carried on, oblivious to where my mind was at and I had to bite back a groan. “And I know early mornings are part of the job.”

Get your mind out of the gutter!

Forcing my eyes up. Her sweet face had a look of determination. It was adorable and made me want to kiss her senseless. And I didn’t have to be touching her to get all hot and bothered. But kissing her in any way, shape or form, was out of the question till we dealt with the giant white elephant in the room. “Alrighty then...” I rubbed my palms together. “Who do you feel like ridin’?”

Me? But that was out of the question, but it didn’t stop my dick from perking up in my jeans.

“I like him.” Her face brightened as she pointed over my right shoulder. Looking back at me to see if it was okay, her eyes quickly dropped.

Keeping her head down, she moved past me but her arm brushed against mine and there it was, just like always. A spark. One you couldn’t see, but it’s been there between us since we were kids.

My eyes followed her. “Ah, Copper. Yeah, he’s a gentle one alright.”Lucky horse.

Maddy hummed in agreement.

“Here. Let me get you saddled up.” I started toward the saddles.

“No. I got it. You finish up what you were doing.”

I didn’t argue. Maddy had been around horses her entire life. She was more than capable.

It didn’t take us long to make our way up the trails, our horses walking side by side-by-side and it was also clear she wouldn’t be the one to kick off the conversation. It was up to me and I hoped I could do this without sticking my size eleven boot in my mouth or dig a hole so deep I’d need an elevator to get out.

“Why don’t I start?”

Her head whipped in my direction, eyes narrowing.

“I didn’t mean for it to happen.” Wasn’t that the truth! “And if it means anything. I honestly remember very little.” That was also the truth. I’d been heavily under the influence and so had Riley Jo. It wasn’t an excuse. But if I had been in my right mind, Riley Jo would have been the last woman I’d had taken advantage of. I cared about her. She was like a sister to me. Which now sounds all kinds of wrong, seeing as we had sex.

Maddy was quiet. And I thought it better if I let her think on my words. She broke the silence between us first.

“Did you know that was the first time she had sex? You were her first?”

Oof. I’d never even considered that. What a knucklehead. I wanted to punch myself in the face... or balls.

So not only had I slept with her sister. I’d taken her sister’s virginity too. Fuck. And now my regret just got a little heavier. I pulled on the reins to stop Champ. “I honestly didn’t know.”

I believed everyone’s first time should be special. Correction. Every woman’s first time. Guys just wanted to get their dicks wet as a rite of passage into adulthood.

Shitty—I know. But guys only thought with their dicks throughout their teen years and I was no different. Growing up, I’d hoped and played out the fantasy in my head that I’d be Maddy’s first. But I wasn’t stupid. She’d been way out of my league. Still was.

“Did you hear what I said Maddy—I didn’t know.”

She stopped Copper in his tracks a few steps ahead of Champ. Not turning around, I heard her loud and clear. “Yeah, well, maybe you should have asked.” She huffed, and her posture stiffened. “You knew damn well me and Riley Jo never ran around with boys. Mama made sure of it.”

What could I say to that? And I doubted trying to explain alcohol had been the deciding factor in making the wrong choice. It was simple. I’d fucked up.

Dismounting from Champ, I dropped his reins, knowing he wouldn’t go anywhere. Two long strides and I was running my hand along the firm lines of Copper's flank until I was level with Maddy’s boots housed inside her stirrups. Looking up, she stared dead ahead. “Please come down off your horse, Maddy.”

She grumbled something I didn’t hear but shifted herself and dismounted Copper. I couldn’t help my eyes glueing themselves to her shorts. They displayed her ass like it was the star of the show. I itched to run my fingers over the torn hem, down the inside of her smooth thighs.

Focus, asshole.

Once down, Maddy spun around, her eyes guarded as she jutted her chin up a fraction in a challenge.

I closed the small distance between us, needing to be closer. And even though Maddy was quite tall, I still had a good five inches more on her height and she had to angle her head up a little. Without make-up, I could see the dusting of freckles across her nose. Cute. “I’m sorry, Maddy.”

A flicker of annoyance lit up those pretty blues as they narrowed on me. “Why? Why Riley Jo? Why my sister?”

I took off my hat and ploughed a hand through my hair. I remembered being pissed off that night. Angry at Logan for sneaking off with Maddy when we’d agreed not to. And finding them in the barn. Hands and mouths all over each other. I’d wanted it to be me.

And when she’d fled, me and Logan got into it. Earned me a nice shiner too. And from there I’d drank myself into a stupor and went in search of the first willing female.

Riley Jo found me.

“Trust me. I didn’t plan it. And I’ve regretted it ever since.”

Maddy pursed her lips, casting me a look I couldn’t identify.

“It was a mistake. And if I could change it. I would.” Even more so since learning it was Riley Jo’s first time. “But you gotta believe me. I wasn’t thinking straight.” I wasn’t thinking at all. “I would never hurt you on purpose.”

Silence.

I put my hat back on my head, looking off into the distance before shifting back to her. “How can I make this right?” I would just about do anything, including grovelling on my hands and knees.

Her eyes softened a touch as she nipped at her bottom lip. Could she get past this? Would she ever let me touch her—kiss her again?

“Maddy?” I prompted. ”...Please.”

“I’m not sure what to say.” She shook her head, looking down at her feet. “I’m not stupid Jackson. I know you’ve been with lots of women and Logan too, but it’s just hard, you know? Thinking ’bout you with my sister.”

My stomach clenched as the muscles in my back held taut as her head lifted. I hated the look sitting on her face right now. The one I’d put there. It cut me deep.

But I’d make sure we got past it because I wanted her. Badly. It was that simple.

There was no else for me. I took half a step closer, risking putting my hands on her hips as if to hold her there. Stop her from running from me. “Tell me how to fix this?” repeating my earlier statement.

Relief flooded me when she didn’t move away. “I thought it didn’t bother me, but I guess I just need some more space and time to process it.”

Space would be difficult as we were working and living together.

“I’ll do whatever you want. Space—you got it. Time you got that too.” But I needed her to understand, to listen. “You’re it for me. There won’t be anyone else in. Ever.” I shifted one of my hands over my heart. “In here.”

She blinked rapidly, digesting my words. I took her hand and placed it over my heart. “I want you Maddy...” I pressed her hand firmly against my beating heart. “This wants you.” Her eyes locked on mine. “Just tell me I haven’t fucked this up. You’ll give me—us a chance.”

She did nothing but insist that the three of us could only be friends, But I hadn’t believed that for one second. She’d wanted us. Just as much as we wanted her.

And that I might lose her before I’d got to have something real made me just a little afraid.

“I know it’s gonna be hard for you to forget it. Because trust me when I think of you with that asshole...” Choosing him over me.

Her lips parted, forming an O. Yeah, she got it.

“It makes me want to rip out his throat.” My voice was more of a growl as she pulled her hand free from mine and stepped back.

Shit, had I put my foot in it again, said something wrong? “Maddy?”

My phone buzzed... and didn’t stop. “I need to get this.” Reaching for my back pocket. It was Jody. “Hey.”

“Maddy with you?” she asked.

I twisted back around. “Yeah, she’s with me. We’re in the middle of something. So unless it’s important—”

She interrupted. “There’s someone here to see her.”

“Who?” I planted a hand on my hip, eyes tipping skyward.

She lowered her voice as if she was worried about being overheard. “Her mama,” she hissed with a hint of disdain. My eyebrows slashed together. There wasn’t any love between Jody and the Lockwoods.

And my stomach clenched for a whole other reason. “We’re heading back now.”

For most of the ride back Maddy was quiet, sitting stiffly chewing on her bottom lip. She’d asked for time, so I would not push my luck.

Both dismounting. “You go on inside and I’ll put the horses away,” I offered.

“No. I’ll help. I’m supposed to be workin’ and she can wait on me for a change.”

“Okay.” It was good to see a little fight in her eyes. Her mama had controlled her for too many years. We led our horses into the outside paddock and removed their saddles. I offered to carry Maddy’s, but she was having none of it.

Fixing all the gear back in place, I removed my hat, hanging it outside of Champs’ stall. I might as well muck out whilst he was outside. “You better head inside.” She cast a look over her shoulder but didn’t move. “You okay Maddy?”

She turned back to me, nodding. “Yeah,” and then she came closer. “I don’t like what happened, but I don’t really have any right to hold it against you, Jackson.” She shrugged and sighed. “I was jealous, is all. It was petty.”

And damn, did my heart lurch before pounding erratically in my chest. “I’ve been jealous of that bastard you married, Princess. Every minute of every day.”

She swallowed and nodded again. “Well, I’m hoping not to be married much longer.”

I closed the small distance now between us, settling my hands on her hips, squeezing just a little, easing us closer. “Does that mean you might consider dating...me...us?”

“Jackson...” she trailed off.

“I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking. Logan too.” Her eyes got a little wider. “And I know what you feel for us both scares you.”

“No. People—”

I cut her off. “Don’t lie, Princess.” I breathed deeply. “What happens between us—the three of us is nobody else’s business.” I jabbed a finger to my chest. “I know I can make you happy. We can make you happy. If you’ll let us.”

“There are things Jackson, you don’t know—” she bit into her lip again. “About me—” she stopped. “Something that might make you not want... me.”

Not want her? Was she for real? “Maddy Lockwood. Short of you becoming a tiny, bearded, one-hundred-year-old wrinkly man.”

“What you got against short, bearded old men, Jackson Reilly?”

I pressed a finger to her lips, but I could see the spark of playfulness ignite. “Nothing. But I have to draw the line somewhere, Princess.” She rolled her eyes at me, but her small hands gripped my biceps, flexing under her touch. “There is nothing else that would stop me from wanting you. Ever!”

I moved both hands, sliding them around the back of her head, tilting to make sure I could see into those baby blues and she could see the seriousness in mine. “Okay?” My eyes dropped to her lips.

“Ah-huh,” she mumbled. “Okay.” A look of hope whispered across her delicate features.

With one hand, I cupped the side of her face, letting my hand sweep gently over her lips. “Have I told you how beautiful you are?”

Her bottom lip wobbled, and I leaned toward it, ghosting them with mine. “Be ours.” Her small hands tightened their hold on my biceps. She said my name softly as my hands moved, following the shape of her curves as my mouth closed over hers... A soft kiss, a prequel. She moaned, and that was it. I stumbled into pleasure as my tongue nudged her mouth open and when I deepened the kiss, our tongues found one another, and then I whispered against her lips. “I’ll want you till the day I die.” Sixty years in the future. Give or take a few.

What? Can’t a man hope?

And I deepened the kiss. This was our beginning. Fucking this up wasn’t an option.