Saving Harper

I bit the insides of my cheek sa ginawa nya. Gross ba pag di ako naligo kasi hinalikan nya yung buhok ko? Buti nalang he was holding me to his side, baka nalaglag ako. Pero hindi pa ba?

"Cute." He chuckled when he saw my reaction to what he did, bago sya nakipag kwentuhan ulit sa mga pinsan ko.

Wala na. Wala nakong control sa nararamdaman ko. Siguro kasi pinigilan ko pa kaya it came crashing down on me so hard. Oh, this is going to end so badly.

Gusto kong umiyak. It's as if I'm here reading this story about me and Xavier, and later when we part ways, it will all end. Babalik ako sa realidad ko. As tragic as 'effin Cinderella. And wala akong maiiwan na glass slipper. What to do Harper?

Stop this? Fake break-up? Mas okay ba na masaktan ng maaga kesa pag hulog na hulog ka na?

"Girl andyan na ate mo." Jem's words pulled me out of my thoughts.

Like the feeling-princess that she is, inannounce pa nung dj yung presence nya. I rolled my eyes. I wasn't surprised when it was also announced na iikot daw muna sya to have picture-taking with the guests before serving dinner. Bida sya e. I can't believe I have to endure this night.

Holly was wearing a fitted Barbie-pink, short, sleeveless dress with matching pink heels. She wore her long hair straight flowing at her back and syempre, full make-up sya.

"Di ko alam na debut pala." Jem whispered to me. "Hello. Si Holly yan. Dapat yun na yung naisip mo pag labas mo palang sa likod ng bahay na to." I said in a low voice. Ang hirap bumulong kay Jem kasi di ako binibitawan ni Xavier. Feeling ko wala ng space sa pagitan namin.

Ayokong marinig nya yung pinagsasasabi ko about my sister kasi ayoko naman pangunahan ng opinyon ko what he'll think about her pag nakilala na nya.

It's like reading a book. Let people give their own opinion about it and don't feed them your own.

Looking down at my now empty champagne glass, I fucking need another drink, I helplessly thought nung nagsisimula ng batiin ng kapatid ko yung mga bisita nya. This will be a long night.

I glanced at Holly who was talking excitedly with her friends. She's actually like Xavier. Madaming kilala and talks to everyone. I know madami akong masasabi kay Holly na nakakairatang ugali nya, pero this one I'll give to her she knows how to work a crowd. Kaya madami syang friends at popular sya nung high school kami. Everyone liked her, well until she screws them over.

Hinablot ko kay Jem yung baso nyang kalahati pa yung laman and I gave her mine.

Nakita ni Xavier yung ginawa ko kahit kausap parin nya si kuya Terrence, and he pursed his lips. He dropped his hand from my waist. I reluctantly returned Jem's glass and got back mine. Nagtaka lang si Jem why I changed my mind. Ang daling bumigay kay Xavier. Well, tama din naman sya na later nako uminom pag naka kain na kami. Ayoko din naman malasing sa harap ng mga kaibigan ng kapatid ko. Mamaya ano pang masabi ko.

"Bibigay ko lahat ng vodka na gusto mo mamaya. Kumain ka lang muna please?" He turned to me. I nodded and smiled at him guiltily.

"Actually, I'm more of a Jack Daniels girl."

"Wow, whiskey pala ang gusto ng girlfriend ko. Basta pag binuhat kita pauwi di mo ibabato sakin yung sapatos mo, pwede mong inumin lahat ng gusto mo." He joked. Note to self: kung pwedeng malasing, mag lasing para mabuhat ng gwapong fake boyfriend.

Sumimangot ako kasi tangina ni Franco. Pati yung pag babato ko ng kung ano-ano chinismis kay Xavier. Pero baka din madaming nakakaalam non sa office.

"Itago mo na pati yung bag ko, just to be safe." He smiled in amusement sa sinabi ko.

"So alam mo din pala yung favorite nyang gawin sa opisina nya?" Hirit ni Jem nung narinig nya yung pinaguusapan namin.

"Oo naman. Para pag nag away kami, ready nakong umiwas." Xavier smiled at her then winked at me.

"So di pa kayo nag aaway?" Jem asked. Kunyari clueless.

"Nag away na. Last week lang." He took my free hand na malapit sakanya and intertwined his fingers with mine. I wanted to cry kung gaano ka natural nyang ginawa yon.

"He called me a bitch." I said monotonously. Jem laughed as if hindi pa nya alam yon. It was one of the first stories I told her.

"Well Architect, congrats. May balls ka don. At hindi ka nya binato ng kahit ano. I think kasi deep inside alam nyang totoo yon." She commended Xavier and laughed at me. Umirap ako.

"Syempre. Mahal na mahal ako nito e." He pulled me again towards him. Hoy Harper umarte ka din! That's the whole point of this charade. Keep up!

"Mahal lang yung laptop ko, babe." I pulled his hand na nakahawak sa kamay ko and steered it sa likod ko kung saan ulit kumapit si Xavier sa bewang ko.

Alam na nya yung gagawin nya, effortlessly. He was so good at this. Kailangan mong pantayan yan I told myself. Kung gagawin mo to, do it thoroughly, Harper.

Tangina bentang-benta naman kay Jem. Ang laki ng ngiti ni girl over the word 'babe' na sinabi ko at lalu na sa ginawa ko. If she can cheer out loud, ginawa na nya. The last time na nakita nya kong may boyfriend was college pa kami and si Franco pala nakilala na din nya pero hindi ako ganito ka-touchy. Well si Xavier naman talaga yung touchy. Pero ganito naman talaga yung mga mag boyfriend. So ok lang kahit anong gawin nya. Halikan kaya pwede? Ay. Before I can imagine what that would feel like, kaharap na namin si Holly. I was instantly annoyed pero di ko pinakita.

"Hi Harper, I'm so glad you're here. And you must be?" She eyed Xavier from head to toe and smiled. Umirap ako kasi parang wala kami ni Jem sa harap nya. Saka duh? Halos naka pulupot na yung kamay sakin ni Xavier malamang boyfriend ko diba?? Tanga-tangahan para magpa cute pota. Tangina. Eto na sya.

"Xavier, Harper's boyfriend. Happy birthday." He greeted her with a smile not taking his hand away from my waist and may baso sya sa kabilang kamay so ang funny lang na hindi sya umeffort to shake Holly's hand even if he can easily let go of me. Tinaasan sya ng kilay ng kapatid ko, nagugulat siguro na hindi nagkakandarapa si Xavier sa kanya.

"So ikaw ang tinatago saamin ni Harper." She seductively said. I wanted to throw up. At her.

I FUCKING WONDER WHY I HAVE TO HIDE HIM??? I wanted to ask her sarcastically out loud instead of screaming it in my head. Di ba sya nagtataka na walang dalang mga boyfriend yung mga pinsan namin??? Kasi she looks at them na parang kailangan nyang isama sa collection nya. Like what she's doing now to Xavier.

Pero teka. Di ko naman tinatago si Xavier. There's no boyfriend to hide. Wala akong karapatan na itago sya. The sinking feeling na lahat ng ginagawa namin ngayon ay hindi totoo was slowly creeping up on me. Slowly choking me. If he decides that he likes my sister, wala akong magagawa. I repeated my dreaded thoughts.

Xavier only looked at me. "Busy lang kami. Sa isa't-isa." Kinindatan nya ko ang flashed me a smile na feeling ko ako lang yung tao para sa kanya. Sana nga diba.

"Wow you look so attractive. Together." Holly's voice was so fucking fake. And I can see what she did there. She wanted to make sure Xavier knew that she thinks he's attractive. Sorry pero kahit na fake na ngiti hindi ko mabibigay kay Holly. I don't fucking care if it's her birthday.

I arched my eyebrows and took a deep breath. Kung totoong boyfriend ko si Xavier, kakaladkarin ko tong kapatid ko by her hair palayo kay Xavier. Para na rin yon sa lahat ng mga pinsan namin na inagawan ni Holly ng mga boyfriend. "Hi ate! Happy birthday!" Hilda said enthusiastically and kissed Holly. Mukhang di natuwa si Holly because she had to look at Hilda and Nick at hindi sa boyfriend ko. Kay Xavier, I mean. I'm also glad na binati na sya ng iba naming mga pinsan. "Maam, picture." The photographer lifted his camera to remind Holly why she's roaming around.

"Oh yeah."

At tangina nandun na sya sa tabi ni Hilda, lumipat pa sa tabi ni Nick to make sure she's beside Xavier. Oh my god. What is wrong with her??

"Kuya kailangan closer no?" She asked sweetly. Tangina photographer ba sya?? Wala nalang nagawa yung photographer and he gestured for our group na mag kumpulan dahil yun yung gusto ng birthday girl.

To my horror, she placed her hand sa likod ni Xavier and stroked it lightly and leaned towards Xavier's direction as if close na close sila sa totoong buhay. Puta seryoso bang ganito sya??? Nalaglag ba sya ni mommy una ulo nung baby pa sya?? "Okay, one, two..." The photographer started counting. Xavier pulled me closer to him and tumingin sakin smiling boyishly. Napangiti din ako while still looking at him. "Three." The photographer took the picture ng nakatingin lang kami ni Xavier sa isa't-isa.

Inaamin kong kinilig ako don. Wala na Harper. You already like him more than you should. With that one look he gave me, I knew.

"Maam next group na po." The events coordinator na umaaligid reminded Holly. She turned to Xavier. "We should get together later. So I can get to know you more." She gave him a sweet smile. Xavier didn't even answer. He just politely gave her a small nod. She turned around to go sa iba nyang bisita. Gusto ko ng sipain yung likod nya.

Hindi ko alam kung ano talagang opinyon ni Xavier about Holly. Does he like her? And pinipigilan lang nya because he's here with me? I think malalaman ko din naman sooner or later because Holly will definitely track down Xavier mamaya. Our group started to walk towards the dinner tables habang nag chichikahan parin lahat. Xavier guided me holding my back and Jem linked arms with me.

Di mapinta yung mukha ni Jem nung humarap sya sakin. "Pigilan moko girl, itutulak ko yang feeling Barbie na yan sa pool nyo!" She said through her gritted teeth. Same. Kung gigil sya e di mas lalu nako.

"Tali mo muna sa mesa, para siguradong lumubog." I added in a whisper. Inis parin si Jem.

"Paano yan lulubog e puro sya hangin yung ulo. Sigurado ka bang doktor yan or full-time magnanakaw ng boyfriend?" Irita nyang sinabi.

Pag hinto namin sa table, Xavier pulled the chair for me. Wow. All-out ah.

"Sorry babe, I know you don't like this place pero ang ganda ng bahay nyo." He pulled his chair closer to me pagka upo nya.

It

I gave me an idea when he mentioned the house. "I'll give you a tour Architect. Para majudge mo ng maigi. Saka parang yun yung gusto mong sabihin talaga e." I smiled knowingly. Well natural lang naman dahil architect sya so curious talaga sya sa mansyon ng magulang ko.

"Basta kasama sa tour yung kwarto mo babe." Xavier said playfully. My pulse quickened kahit alam kong hindi sya seryoso. Naubo si Jem sa tubig nya kasi narinig nya yung sinabi ni Xavier.

"Yes babe, grand finale yon." Pumatol ako sa pagbibiro nya and shook my head. Iba.

Siguro dapat ienjoy ko nalang to. Tutal wala nakong control sa bawat reaction ng dibdib at pag hinga ko sa mga sinasabi at ginagawa nya. I-enjoy ko nalang hanggang sa matapos kasi masasaktan din naman ako either way, at least sa ganito sumaya ako kahit for a short while. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung kelan kami matatapos dito. Siguro after nitong hassle na party na to? So yan nalang yung itatagal nitong saamin. Ilang oras nalang.

Last month, I wouldn't even dream of imagining myself with someone. Alam kong hindi ko kailangan non kasi hindi naman yon kasama sa mga plano ko. It didn't even work out with Franco so ano pang chance nung iba e close na nga kami sa lagay na yon.

So bakit ngayon parang kahit iilang oras lang willing nako bigla masaktan?

Di ko alam sagot don. Maybe pag patapos na yung gabi masasagot ko na yung sarili ko. Or pag wala na sya sakin.

Dinner was served and Jem interviewed Xavier about his art. Apparently, he also paints. As if I needed another reason to like him more. I also told her about the photo exhibit we went to and kung gaano kagaganda yung mga photos na nandon and syempre yung photos ni Xavier. I tried to describe them pero alam kong basic lang yung mga descriptions ko compared to what you'll actually feel when you look at it.

Jem was smiling at me kasi alam nya na I don't go to those things. Being with him was changing me.

"Babe yung photos mo sa exhibit, they are being sold no?" I asked him.

"Yup. Why love?"

"Wala I heard someone talking prices kasi when we walked around. I've always thought those exhibits were just to show the art. Di ko alam na binebenta na everything sa ganon." I slowly nodded. I wanted to buy one but I was too shy to say it out loud.

"May ArtFair na next week, I'll take you with me." Xavier smiled and wiggled his eyebrows.

I exhaled slowly. Okay, Harper pwede naman kayong maging friends after this.

"Invited ba ko dyan?" Jem piped in. I smiled sarcastically kasi I'm sure mag fefeeling cupid lang sya don. As always. "Sabi ko nga date nyo yon." She said teasingly. See.

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Ugggh. Jem is so pushing this. I wish she won't make me feel na date yon kasi nasa realidad na ulit kami ni Xavier non. And doon, walang date date. Single kami. Di ko sya boyfriend. "Ready for your tour love?" I turned to Xavier nung nakita kong tapos na sya kumain ng dessert nya. Ayoko ng pag usapan yung date na hinihirit ni Jem.

"Baka tumakas lang kayo ha wala akong kasama dito. Saka wag kayo masyadong mag tagal sa kwarto ni Harper." Tinukso kami ni Jem so kinurot ko sya sa tagiliran nya. "Diba pag sa kwarto alam mo ng matagal?" Puta pumatol pa tong si Xavier. Jem laughed aloud sa itsura ko. "Wag mong paasahin yan, tara na." I said as I stood up. "Sino bang wag papaasahin ni Xavier sa kwarto mo? Ako? Or ikaw Harper?" Hindi pa sya tapos sa pagbibiro nya.

"I think ako. Papaasahin ko lang yung sarili ko don." Xavier declared. Natuwa nanaman si Jem sa pinaghihirit ni Xavier.

Di nila alam ako lang yung umaasa dito.

For once, I held out my hand sa kanya for him to take at napansin nya na first time kong gawin. He looked like as if he was enjoying this. Na finally I'm participating willingly in this charade that I started.

Nakapag decide naman nako e. Na for tonight, kunyari eto yung totoo. Na merong 'kami'. Even if it will eventually expire. If we become friends after this, e di ok. Mas malaki lang yung problema ko non kasi mas lalu akong aasa. Every time we're together lang naman. Which is every day. Nice diba. Pero saka ko na iisipin yon. I wanted to enjoy my time with him.

We held hands as we walked away from the party.

"So alam mo kung kelan ginawa yung bahay nyo?" He admired the back of the house from where we are. Maganda naman talaga yung bahay. And it was "home" for me for the longest time. Now I just treated it as theirs since umalis ako. Hilda and Holly still lives here, but Hilda of course will move out eventually pag kinasal na sya.

"Ohmygod no. Sobrang old na nito. What I know is dito na nakatira yung parents ng dad ko and dito sya lumaki. And mukhang yung great grandparents ko eto na din yung bahay. This house is that old." I said.

We climbed the stone staircase leading papasok sa bahay and pinanood ko lang sya while he was looking around. He sort of explained some things to me but in simpler terms dahil wala akong alam about architecture.

Pag pasok namin, nagulat ako na nakasalubong namin yung dad ko. "Kanina pa kayo?" My dad asked. He didn't know dahil hindi pa ko nagpakita sa kanya kanina. Xavier greeted him with a handshake. "Yeah. I didn't see you. We're seated with some cousins." I told him and I kissed his cheek to greet him.

"Harper, you're not leaving already are you?" My father eyed me. I shook my head. "No. I'm just giving the architect a tour of the house." I said then I led Xavier away. Nahihirapan akong makipag small talk with my dad. To think na sya yung palagi kong kausap dati. Well those days were already in the past.

Xavier pulled my hand so we stopped sa gitna ng entrance hall. "Teka, why is everyone assuming na tatakas ka?" Xavier turned to me. I smiled guiltily. "Because that's what I sort of do pag may mga family thing. Lalu na pag reunions." I made a face at the word. "Sort of?" He narrowed his eyes. Pinapaamin nya lang ako kahit alam na nya kung anong sagot dun. "Okay, always. I always slip out." I rolled my eyes. He tsked.

I led him sa family room ignoring his reaction. "Usually dito nangyayari lahat ng study sessions." I told him. Kahit old yung bahay, modern naman yung gamit dito. My mom hired an interior decorator for modernizing the furniture everywhere. There's also large flat screen tv against the wall. "Alam mo super weird that they bought this large tv here e di na nga sila nanonood dahil lahat sila palaging nasa ospital. Or somewhere else." I stood in the middle of the room then he walked around.

"Baka para sayo?" He absentmindedly said. "I don't live here anymore." I reminded him. "Malay mo, they're just waiting for you to come back." He shrugged pero busy parin sya looking at the room. I frowned at what he said. I don't think

So.

We went sa mga main parts of the house except sa kitchen kasi nandun yung caterer. We went upstairs then I showed him some of the rooms there. Library, then mostly bedrooms. "Eto na yung finale mo." I said as I opened the door to my old

room.

It didn't change at all. "Huh. Ngayon ko lang narealize na ang laki pala nito." I said walking in.

Nagulat sya sa sinabi ko. "Hindi ka pa bumabalik ulit dito sa kwarto mo?"

"Nope."

"Why?"

"Hindi naman dito yung mga family gatherings e." I answered. Inirapan nya ko. Oo nga I was sarcastic sometimes.

"Wala lang. Every time I'm here for some family thing, di nako umaakyat." I shrugged.

He observed me for a while. Then umikot na sya checking out my things. He's not here as an architect anymore. He was looking at photos in frames nung bata pa kami nila Hilda, and kung ano-anong mga gamit that I left behind na nasa dresser and desk ko.

Sumilip ako sa bathroom ko. It was still the same like how I left it years ago but tidier. Mukhang pinapalinis din to palagi ni mommy and the maids even stock the toiletries. Surprising kasi aala ko they'll convert this into another spare bedroom. Xavier was smiling at some photos. "Ang ganda mo pala talaga since bata ka." He said as he showed me the picture he was looking at. It was one with a 5-year old me during Christmas hugging a huge candy cane display. What? He thought I was pretty? I smiled sa sinabi nya then umupo ako sa kama ko. Kinilig nanaman ako don. Buti naka talikod pa sya so di nya nakita at how I was smiling stupidly at his comment.

Hindi ko first time marinig yon since nasasabi yon saakin nila Jem at Liv na cute akong bata sa mga pictures ko that they've seen. Pero syempre iba yon, they're my friends. And since I don't go out on dates, no guy has (recently) told me na maganda ako, so this felt "new". Or maybe I was really reading too much into it dahil may nararamdaman ako.

I took off my heels and umupo ako sa kama ko habang nakasandal sa headboard. I was watching him smile at a few mundane things I had lying around. Some pictures from high school with my barkada, trinkets my friends gave me, souvenirs from concerts, basketball games, letters and notes, at kung ano-ano pa. It was nice having him here.

He finally faced me. "Ayan pumwesto ka pa ha. Baka naman makatulog ka." Biniro nya ko. He walked towards the opposite side of the bed and umupo din sya. "Harper, bakit ka talaga umalis dito?" He looked at me.

Di ko alam pero pag dating sa kanya, I seem to be very honest. Pag ibang tao I can just simply refuse to answer some questions about things I don't divulge.

I took a deep breath. "I can't take it anymore how my parents were looking at me all the time." I said quietly.

"How were they looking at you?" He asked.

"Like I was their biggest disappointment kasi I didn't follow their plans for me." As I said that I can feel tears start pooling in my eyes which I quickly controlled bago pa tumulo. "My dad was so mad at me and hindi kami nag usap ng matagal when I started college. I think sya yung pinaka disappointed saakin. Me being a doctor was practically my nightly bedtime stories. Yun yung pangarap nya para saakin. Nung hindi ako nag med school, he said I just threw my future away. As if hindi nako magiging successful sa buhay dahil di ako nag doctor."

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Xavier was just silent.

"Alam mo kung gaano sila ka-disappointed sakin? They didn't even attend my graduation." Dun nako naluha. I remembered I had to celebrate my graduation with Liv and her parents kasi nga mag isa lang ako. Buti nalang her family has always been welcoming saakin. Jem joined us when she found out na hindi pumunta yung pamilya ko.

Xavier moved closer and took my face gently in his hands and wiped my tears with his thumbs.

"I'm sorry Harper."

I just shrugged as if saying na ganon talaga e.

"You deserve so much more." He said sincerely as he looked at me. He hugged me knowing na yun yung kailangan ko ngayon. We stayed like that for a very long time. Like no one wanted to move away. Nagulat nalang kami when the dj started playing party songs already and I sat up straight and he let me go. "Gusto mo pa bang bumalik sa party or gusto mo na umuwi?" He asked.

I smirked. "Pag tapos mo kong i-judge sa pag takas ko all the time?"

"We'll do whatever you want." He said softly. Xavier holding me in his arms made me feel better. Kung masasabi ko lang sa kanya na ang gusto ko talaga is for him to hold me like that for the whole night.

"Bumalik nalang tayo kasi ihahanap mo pa ko ng Jack Daniels." I smiled at him. I wasn't prepared yet to end our night yet, bilang baka hanggang dito nalang to. And I needed a drink sa mga sinabi ko tungkol sa pamilya ko.

We went back and nag sasayawan na yung mga friends ng ate ko and some of our cousins. Syempre pag balik namin sa table, nang asar nanaman si Jem. "Tagal ah. Good job Xavier." I rolled my eyes. They even high-fived. "Wait may utang pa ko sayo." He guided me to my seat and umalis sya to go to the bar.

Jem immediately jumped at the opportunity na makakausap na nya ko ng wala si Xavier. "Omg don't tell me may nangyari talaga sainyo." He said pulling on my arm excitedly.

"Gaga syempre wala." I frowned at her.

"Ano ba yan. Corny. Pero bakit ang tagal nyo?" Sya naman yung sumimangot.

"Wala naman. Nag usap lang kami."

"Ohmygod Harper, may gwapo kang lalake sa kwarto tapos nag usap lang kayo???"

Buti nalang Xavier already came back with a bottle of Jack Daniels and three glasses with ice for us so I don't have to answer Jem.

We started drinking and si Jem naman yung ininterview nya. Tumatawa kami sa mga ibang katangahan ng mga estudyante ni Jem which she loves sharing saamin ni Liv, when Holly walked towards us.

"Xavier, baka gusto mo naman isayaw yung birthday girl?" She smiled at Xavier. So ngayon ko ba malalaman kung pwede syang magustuhan ni Xavier?

I looked at him and nakatingin din sya saakin waiting kung ok lang sa girlfriend nya. "Go love. Pag bigyan mo na yan birthday naman nya." I sneered para lang maparinig sa kapatid ko na I think she's being desperate with what she's doing. Na totoo naman.

Xavier reluctantly stood up and hinila sya ng kapatid ko sa dancefloor. "Hoy tangina what are you doing?!" Inis na tanong sakin ni Jem.

"Hayaan mo sya. I want to see if Xavier likes her." I said and we both looked at them.

My sister was dancing and Xavier was barely moving. Holly started talking to him so she had to lean towards him para mabulong sa kanya whatever she's saying. She unnecessarily touched his shoulder. Jem had a very sour look on her face because of what we're witnessing.

"Sa tingin mo pag naputulan ko sya ng mga kamay pwede pa syang mag doctor?" I asked Jem and natawa sya.

"Sa totoo lang Harper di ko alam why you're torturing yourself like this. Sobrang halata na you like him. And he basically can't take his hands away from you."

"Trust me Jem, it's just because we're pretending." I said.

"Whatever girl. Di ko alam kung takot ka lang e."

"Yeah, kasi I know for him wala lang to. He takes everything so coolly. What we're doing is so casual for him." I poured myself another drink.

Kahit na alam kong para kay Xavier wala lang to, I can't help na mainis parin sa kapatid ko. Yup, nagseselos ako. Haay.

I was surprised when the music turned mellow. The dj made a shout out to Holly saying that the song was her favorite. Ulol. Holly never liked slow songs. She just wanted a slow song kasi kasayaw nya si Xavier.

I wonder what he'll do next. Uminom ako from my glass waiting. My heart dropped when he whispered something at Holly. Well Harper, gusto mo malaman diba?

Xavier looked at me from where he was standing after a while and smiled tapos naglakad sya towards me, leaving my sister. Holly glared and pumunta sya sa group ng mga friends nya. Some people were still dancing.

"O anong nangyari?" I asked him. "Gusto pa nyang sumayaw pero I told her yung magandang girlfriend ko naman yung isasayaw ko." He offered his hand.

It was so corny pero I took it anyway and we swayed (super little swaying) sa dancefloor ng nakayakap sya saakin and my arms wound around his neck.

I'm glad I didn't refuse kasi corny man tong ginagawa namin, it might be the last time he'll hold me like this. Nalungkot ako at that thought.

The music changed but he didn't let go of me. Nagsayawan nanaman yung mga tao around us to the party song playing but Xavier and I stayed like this as if hindi napalitan yung kanta.

Alam ko na yung sagot kung bakit ngayon parang kahit iilang oras lang that I have him, willing akong masaktan pagkatapos.

Because sanay nako that everything ends. Especially the good things. I'm too damaged sa naranasan ko sa parents ko. So to lose Xavier after this will be worth it because of this moment. That for a short time I was happy in his arms. That he was mine.