Rejected And Reclaimed

As I lay awake from thinking about my options and trying to decide what I should do there was a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't decide and it was already 2 AM with no sleep I forced myself to sit up and really think about my future. Where would I go if I left, and would I even be able to survive long. If I was to stay I would either be beat or starved to death. What if I was to find my soulmate here tomorrow and I left before I knew who it was, would he even want me? After I showered and started walking out of my hut I fell to my knees from a sharp pain in my stomach. Thinking it's from not eating anything but a piece of bread yesterday I got up and glanced back at the small room I've lived in for twelve years making my decision.

The weird sensation never left even after the pain I felt as I arrived at the pack house. I opened the doors to the kitchen and started pulling out all the ingredients I needed to start cooking. I was going to make the pack the best breakfast they ever had because even though I don't get to celebrate my birthday they will. As I prepared everything possible there was a bang on the kitchen door followed by someone coming in.

I turned around to find Silas staring at me with anger, his crystal blue eyes seemed to have fire in them and his slightly curled black hair was messy. I lowered my gaze to the floor instantly.

"Why is it you!?" he yelled.

"What do you mean I always prepare the breakfast,” I mumbled not looking up from the floor.

"You don't feel anything, how could you not I'm standing so close to you but I felt it when you walked into the house" he said calmer but still angry.

"All I feel is hunger pains", but as I said it I did feel a pull towards him I didn't want.

What he said next I expected but I was not prepared. "I, Silas Morgan, future alpha of the South Texas Pack reject Lilith Conner as my mate!" he announced it with such anger as he turned and left, I felt every ounce as the mate bond broke. At that moment I was in such pain I thanked the goddess herself for letting me finish the food before this happened.

I ran as far as I could and when I reached where I felt was safe I fell to my knees and my whole body shook from the tears and pain that I was experiencing. I didn't want the mate bond to be with him, and I also knew if it was someone from this pack they would reject me immediately. It hurt like hell but I managed to stop the tears and gather myself to look slightly normal as I made my way to the pack house to let them know my decision.

I walked in and made my way to the dining hall everyone stopped what they where doing as soon as I stepped in. Walking rather quickly to stand in front of the alpha and his family's table I said, " I, Lilith Conner, leave the South Texas Pack in body and mind!" There was shock all around the dining room as what I said sunk in, and I felt the pack bond break. After what felt like a long while the alpha finally spoke, "Lilith Conner, you are officially released from all pack responsibility and bond. You are to leave pack lands immediately!"

I finally had the nerve to look at everyone as I walked out and realized the shock was still there mixed with disgust. I never felt love from them after my parents died and I didn't think I ever would, and I didn't want them to have the pleasure of my death so that is why I made the decision I did. I honestly felt a little relieved as I walked out with my head held high.

I've never imagined myself packing my life away and heading into the unknown but here I am, as I look around one last time I remind myself that everything happens for a reason. Shutting the door to the hut and throwing my bag over my shoulder I began to walk off pack lands and into the city. As I got to a bench I sat down and counted the little bit of money I have. It turns out I had just enough to find somewhere to stay for a little while.

The money I have is what is left from my parents after the pack took the rest to support me as they said. They didn't know I still had this little bit I hid it well in the floor of the hut. I walked to a Motel 6 and got a room and decided to take a long hot shower.

Laying on the motel bed I started thinking about getting a job and staying under the radar so no other pack can find me. It is a law not to be a rogue wolf in a packs territory they will have the right to decide your punishment, and most decide to kill you instead of torture. Finally feeling the loneliness of not being in a pack and missing the connection, I have to snap myself out of this, so I decide to put on my hoodie and go to try to find some food close by.

Walking into a small gas station that was a block away from the motel I find some cheap food I can use the microwave in the motel room to cook. I pay for everything and start walking back to the motel when I bump into someone, cursing myself I glance up and get a quick glance at a woman around my age. All I find myself saying is, "I'm so sorry, please forgive me".

She smiled and said, "It's okay", and then inhaled deeply. Realizing my mistake I took off as fast as I can not looking back to see if she was following. Reaching my motel room and bolting all the locks as soon as I get in I mentally yell at myself for not watching my surroundings, because other wolves can smell a rouge wolf instantly. I only pray she didn't follow me and report back to whoever is alpha of her pack.