Race to the Next World

I did my best to pretend like nothing was happening, like I wasn’t doing anything wrong, because if I let my thoughts roam, I’ll freak out and become the worst mess. I can’t stand being in space, I can’t stand what we’re doing.

Its just that there’s nothing I could do.

Sirus was coping well.

I would like to think I was coping well with it.

I held the gun in my shaking hands, and I would shoot as many of the red chips I could towards Japan’s thrusters. Each time, I got an unsettling feeling in my stomach. And when I saw the reaction and the explosions, I felt even worse. I regretted every moment I was alive as I pulled the trigger that released the chips in space. The more chips that got in their thrusters, the worse the fire got. The thrusters were falling apart, and I saw the exact moment where the ship could no longer hold its self up right.

I couldn’t keep going.

I’ve done terrible things recently, but this is by far the worst thing I could have done. I haven’t felt this terrible in my life.

I held on to my gun and all I could was watch the explosions take over Japan’s falling ship. To think how many people are going to die because of us. Is Picses bitter? Is that why we had to do this? Was he that angry with Japan? We didn’t have to settle things this way. We could have done something else, not kill their people.

We’re going to go back, and no one’s going to notice anything different.

That’s what really made me panic.

They were just falling into the void of space. There was nothing we could do to help them. Picses wouldn’t let us help them.

Now what happens.

A few of Japan’s fighter ships were coming towards us but I didn’t move. Picses didn’t leave us out here to defend on our own. Just a few Flyers were out here, protecting us. They saw it too. They know what happened. They can see Japan’s Mother ship falling in space. I refused to move. I couldn’t. I was just...in shock.

I’ve gone through too much recently.

We just ended all those people’s lives. Now what? How am I going to go back without feeling like ripping my heart out? I couldn’t move. The fires didn’t last long but the parts of the ships began to fall apart. Each dome broke off and they just...slowly fell.

Sirus had taken my hand, and was pulling me back. Japan’s fighters were getting aggressive and we had to get out of the way. I wanted to get out of space but I didn’t think I deserved that. I deserved to suffer because I killed so many people. I couldn’t move though. I couldn’t do anything. Sirus had enough to deal with and I was just dragging him down. I turned on my thrusters but that was it. He was the one pulling me back because I wouldn’t willingly go.

I got this painful feeling in my chest and it made it hard for me to breathe. If I start panicking, I’ll only use up all of my oxygen. I was freaking out anyway. I couldn’t handle it. The stress was too much and I could only think about everything I did. I should have just said something. If I didn’t want to do it, I should have said something. This is my fault.

I hated everything.

I hated myself.

The second I was able to take off my helmet when I got inside, I began to cry. I wanted to stop crying but I couldn’t. It was like I couldn’t control it. What excuse do I have for being so anxious? I couldn’t breathe either. I was dying.

Why didn’t I say something?

Why didn’t I speak up?

I should have said something to Picses. Just because I want to be Commander that bad doesn’t mean I can just disregard other people’s lives. This really broke me. I killed all those people. My heart ached as I tried to breathe, and I couldn’t stop crying. I killed millions of people, I obeyed an order to destroy all those people. Why didn’t I say no? I cried harder as I tried to stop, not even able to stand on my own anymore.

This is my fault.

This is all my fault.

Sirus had grabbed me, picking me up from the ground, and hugged me tightly, I just buried my face in his chest as I cried. I just couldn’t stop crying. I’ve done way too much lately, and finally I cracked. This is by far the worst moment I’ve lived through. I can’t believe I went ahead with this. Nothing could compare to how terrible I felt. Sirus was trying hard to get me to stop crying and I tried but I would just burst out crying.

Why is this happening?

“Cadets.” Carsus said behind us. I hid my face as we turned around to face him. He was with another person; they were waiting on us. Sirus had blocked a good portion of my view and I was a bit glad because I don’t want anyone else to see me a horrible mess. .

“Commander Picses wants to see you.” Carsus said as they both turned.

The last person I want to talk to is Picses.

As we walked behind them, I wiped my face quickly. As much as I wanted Picses to know that he’s a terrible person for making me do this, I can’t just walk in crying and screaming. My face was puffy from the intense crying, my cheeks were probably red to. I kept my hands on my face to cover it up, hoping I had enough time to not look so depressed.

I should be angry. I should be yelling and stomping around. I should be pissed.

I stood next to Sirus in Picses’ command room as Carsus and the other took their places behind him. He turned to us, smiling.

“You made it.” Picses said.

What?

My hands tightened by my side, and I bit my tongue so I wouldn’t start shouting. I was getting angry now. Its when I saw him smiling that I wanted to do something about it.

“What the hell is this? Why’d you want us to blow up that ship? Do you know how many people are dead?” Sirus asked quickly before I could start yelling.

“None, actually, if that answers your question, Sirus.” he said, and laughed to himself, stroking his beard. Sirus didn’t say anything as I looked up at Picses.

What does that mean? Where did they go?

“The civilians were evacuated long before I called for your assignment.” he said.

“I’m going to be sick.” Sirus couldn't believe it. Neither could I.

Picses...let us believe that we...

“Our quota isn’t nearly as big as Africa’s so we had to spread them out. I hope they’re accommodating well though...” Picses trailed off as he continued to stroke his beard.

Why couldn’t Picses tell us that vital piece of information?

“Why the hell couldn’t you tell us that before you had us go out there?” Sirus asked angrily, wanting to fight. "Honest to God, you are crazy. All of this would have been much easier if you had just said that shit before we went out there-"

Carsus spoke up immediately because Sirus was lashing out. “You better show some respect-”

“You're lucky I can't use my hands to show how mad I am." Sirus snapped.

Picses stopped Carsus from stepping forward. “Its nothing to worry about, Carsus. This is how Sirus is.” Picses said, not finding it offensive. I didn’t want to correct Sirus’ bad behavior. I want answers too. “We didn’t tell you because we noticed a slight..issue with loyalty going around here.” Picses said and he glanced my way. “It seems as though you were prepared to speak out against me, Aurora.” Picses said.

I wanted to, but Sirus took care of that for me. But if he hadn't...I wasn't sure if I would've actually done it.

“You’re supposed to take orders without questioning your Commander’s judgments before hand.” he said. Its not my place to question authority.

I wanted to scream.

I really wanted to scream out and say something about this. But I just stared blankly at them because I wasn't sure what was happening. It was like I wasn't there at all. My hands were still shaking.

I was still breathing.

But something wasn't right.

I had a panic attack and Picses just wanted to use this as some stupid test of loyalty. This is what’s wrong. We can’t have a say in anything. I don’t care if I’m supposed to follow all his orders. As far as I’m concerned, I still have a conscience and when someone tells me that I have to blow up a ship, I’m going to assume that there’s people inside and I will want to say something about it.

“That’s a bunch of bullshit! You couldn’t do this to anyone else?” Sirus asked quickly. Carsus was about to step out in front of us again but Picses stopped him. Carsus would’ve done something about Sirus’ behavior. Usually I would tell Sirus to stop, but now I just wanted him to go completely wild.

We shouldn’t be treated this way. This is how people get mentally scarred.

“I can ask anyone I want to. I was honestly just curious if Aurora would say something.” Picses said, and looked at me again. I couldn’t find my voice. “There’s nothing wrong with disagreeing. It just means you’re thinking. However, I’ve noticed your sudden change, Aurora. I just want you to get it under control.” he said.

I wasn’t going to say anything.

“A little training might do him some good as well.” Carsus said as he glared at Sirus. I heard his rumble as he tightened his hands at his side.

“Sirus is fine as he is. He reminds me of you when you were younger.” Picses laughed as he stroked his beard. “You two are dismissed” he said as he turned away.

Now we know we aren’t killers.

I wasn’t relieved.

Why would Picses do that to us? Was this really a scare tactic to keep me in line? Picses is crazy.

Just because I have a lot of things to say against him, that is no reason to think that I killed millions of people. I can’t just go on like this anymore. He better make me Commander for this. I didn’t go through all that trauma just for him to tell me that I’ve been changing.

Sirus stormed out, about to destroy everything around him. I’ve never seen him that angry before. What did he feel when he was out there? I kept quiet, feeling my face puff up since I did cry too hard. I felt a bit sick about what happened. I think I should go lay down.

“They think this is some kind of fucking game. I did not sign up for this shit.” Sirus said angrily, almost about to punch the wall. I grabbed his hand before he could take his anger out on metal.

“Why are you angry, Sirus?” I asked quietly.

We didn’t do anything wrong.

I wouldn’t tell him to get over it. Its just that I thought he would be relieved about this.

“You do know I’m human too, right, Aurora? I can feel emotions just like you can. If they start pulling these tests on me, I will resign.” he said angrily as he snatched his hand from me.

There’s a lot that’s been happening lately.

Its just too much.

I looked away, wanting to continue walking. I wonder if I’ll have to stay somewhere else tonight because I could tell he was angry, and when he gives off heat like that, I can’t be around him. Its for my own safety. I didn’t say anything as I felt Sirus’ eyes on me. I wanted to ask him what this was like for him but I just kept my mouth shut. He was staring hard.

Is it my face? I know my face is red again, but he doesn’t have to stare.

“Why are you staring like that?” I asked quietly, looking further away from him because I was scared of what he might say.

But he sighed and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. When I looked at him again, like really looked, I knew there was something bothering him.

He was staring. “You gonna cry again?” he asked.

I felt worse. I might cry again. I was stressed.

“Its obvious there’s something wrong with you, Aurora.” he said.

“I guess I’m still in shock." I was quiet as I looked around. "I’ll get over it.” I said weakly as I turned away. There was more I wanted to say to him, but I couldn’t. I could only manage a few words. “Thank you, Sirus.” I said kindly as I looked back at him. He was nice to me earlier.

He tried to be there for me, and that’s the one thing I will never forget.

He looked tormented when I thanked him. I guess he doesn’t know how to handle this. He sighed, running his hand through his hair as he looked away.

“I care about you.” he said finally, locking his jaw as he glared somewhere else.

“What?”

“Did I stutter, Aurora?” he asked me harshly.

“N-no, I just wasn’t sure if I heard you correctly.” I said quickly, defending myself.

He said he cared about me. I wonder if he’s being serious or if he’s messing around with me for fun. I’ve gone through too many cruel jokes . He didn’t like admitting that he did care about me.

He didn’t have to tell me, but I’m grateful that he did.

“I guess you mean a lot to me or something like that, I don’t know.” he said bitterly, hating that he was talking about it. I mashed my lips together to stop myself from smiling. So he doesn’t hate me. I sort of figured that, but hearing him say that I mean something to him made me smile. I guess I got through to him.

“Hearing you say that is enough for me.” I said.

“I probably won’t say it again.” he said. He doesn’t have to be sour about it. For some reason, my chest was tightening, and I couldn’t breathe. But what was worse was that I had a hard time keeping in my smile.

I was... happy? I don't know.

I've gone through a lot with Sirus. He's not the nicest person, but to say he hasn't protected me when things got bad would be a lie.

He saves me, I save him. We've been doing that.

I pulled on him, moving myself as I reached up to kiss him. If he can do a nice gesture for me, I can do the same for him. What was supposed to be a small kiss turned out to be something more. His hand moved to my neck as he kissed me harder, taking over what I had started. His tongue moved in my mouth, rubbing on mine more.

I know what he likes and doesn’t like.

I pressed my body on his as we kissed more. He was getting more graphic by the second, making me moan quietly into his mouth. How can he be okay to do this so easily? We can get caught here. But the more he kissed me, the more I didn’t care, the more I wanted him.

He bit my lip, making pain course through my veins. I wanted to shove him away and even hit him but I couldn’t with the way he held my body to his. The pain was still there when he let go, and I could taste the blood, just like he could. Why is he so rough? I thought we were supposed to be having a moment. Why does he change everything? That got me irritated. His hands slid down my body, groping me as he pulled me closer on him, almost rubbing. When he finally stopped kissing me, I moaned louder as he gripped at my skin.

“We can’t do this here. S-someone might catch us” I said, my voice cracking from the nervousness.

“No one will catch us.” he said as he kissed my neck, his fingers inching further than they should. I at least thought he would want to get out of these suits before trying anything. Its clear that he’s impatient.

I just didn’t want to do anything here.

“P-please, not here, Sirus.” I begged. His teeth bit onto my neck as he kept rubbing me. This was making it really hard for me to try and get him to take me somewhere else. I was about to give in.

Someone was actually coming. A group of people were coming; I heard their voices from around the corner. I separated myself from Sirus quickly, wiping my lips as I stared at the ground. As these people passed, they paid little to no attention to us. They were Flyers and we know how they don’t care. I still covered my face until they were gone and out of sight.

“I told you someone would come.” I hissed and hit his arm. He never listens to me.

“You seemed to get a little turned on when you heard their voices back there. I didn’t know you were like that, Aurora.” he teased as he pulled my body back to his, his hands moving lower than I wanted them to be.

“You’re an animal.” I said.

“Oh I know.” He bit my ear, the numb one.

“Can we at least go somewhere else?” I asked.

“We can, but why take a walk from here to there when its clear you want to be fucked right here?” he asked. There he goes with his vulgar comments. I could hit him again, but I just kept my hands balled up as I thought about it.

“Sirus!”

“You think I wouldn’t notice? You’re practically twitching.” his fingers rubbing on me harder, making me tense as I bit down on my lip, holding in my moans. “Beg for it.” he said, grabbing my hair as he looked me in the eyes; he made me look back.

This happened before. Its like I don’t mind begging.

I really didn’t to be honest.

“P-please Sirus, f-...fuck me.” I begged, my face getting hot. I can’t believe I said that. He laughed and I looked away because I was turning red.

“I can’t wait to destroy you.” his hand moved on my neck as he brought my face closer to his; his tongue licked my small wound on me as his grip tightened in my hair.

To think after everything that happened today, I was letting him do this with me. There’s been a lot happening, and now I’m just confused. Everything’s changing. Even having sex with Sirus isn’t the same anymore. There’s too much to think about now. I’m so confused.

We made it back to our room, and the second we got there, we got our clothes off quickly. This was the first time I didn’t want to separate myself from Sirus. Sure, he still irritates me with his vulgar comments, but I was going to pretend he wasn’t saying anything to me.

I sat on Sirus’ lap, his cock already throbbing inside me. I’m not used to having the freedom to move on my own. This is different. He usually does all the moving for me, just gripping at waist or my hair and anything else where he just moves me. This time, he wasn’t doing anything, and it made me embarrassed. I started to move my hips on my own, realized that I had the chance to do it my way.

I gripped my thighs as I moved my hips back, feeling him fill me up only with his cock alone. If he could see my face now, he would probably love it. His fingers trailed down my back, and I tensed up. He was leaving goosebumps on my skin with the way he touched me. I moved slowly, rolling my hips as his cock rubbed deeper inside me. I moaned quietly under my heavy breath and kept moving on him.

“Ah yeah... just like that.” Sirus moaned behind me, his cock twitching more as I moved on his lap. I rolled my hips faster and I heard his curses as he moaned louder just like I did. I didn’t think he would love it as much as I did.

His fingers made it in my hair; I closed my eyes when I felt him come closer to me. I wish Sirus would do something, but he wouldn’t. All he did was play with my hair, which wasn’t being as rough as he usually was. I could feel his lips at my shoulder and his breath on my bare skin.

My arm moved back around him, and I gripped his hair as he kissed my neck. I bit my lip and grinded harder on him because I knew he liked doing that with me. I could hear his voice in my ear and he sounded like he liked it. That was the only thing that kept me motivated to keep going.

His hands finally moved around me, and he spread my legs more on him as he began to move hips with mine. I dropped my hand from his and held his arm tightly while he moved inside me. Its about time. He kept me waiting.

“H-harder.” I moaned as I breathed out.

“You love it rough, don’t you?” he bit into my neck. I did but I don’t have to say it out loud for him to know.

I chewed on my lip as he moved in me roughly. His fingers were holding on to me harder. He kissed around my neck, my face, my jaw, all around me, and I just snuggled up closer to him. His body is warm, so warm.

“Sirus...” I moaned quietly. He likes it when I say his name, so why not do it? His hands gripped harder.

When I tightened myself around him, we both tensed, moaning louder at the feeling. I felt my body tremble. The way he twitched told me he was about to cum. I wanted him to hold out longer. We can’t just stop now. I felt the overwhelming heat in my body though. I wasn’t going to last.

“I-I can’t ...anymore.” I really couldn’t go on.

“Come on, baby, just hold it.” he said, kissing my neck as he moved. I kept my hips moving with his but my body tensed every second. I couldn’t wait. I was so close..

“Just cum...in-inside me.” I told him as my fingers tightened around his arm. I could feel him breathing on my neck, kissing my shoulder, his hair brushing against my skin. His hands held my tightly, keeping my legs spread apart on him.

I wasn’t going to last much longer so I just wanted him to cum inside me.

“You like it when I do that.” he said lowly, still kissing my neck as his fingers tightened on my skin.

“Mhm.”

“You want to be filled up with everything.”

“Y-yes!”

He laughed at my desperation. I want to feel him fill me with everything he has. I just want all of him. My hand tightened in his hair as my other gripped the sheets tightly, tensing and shaking more. I want him to cum inside me so much.

“You’re such a dirty slut, Aurora.” he said, grabbing my hair now. I thought it was funny that he said that. I almost began smiling as he thrusted inside me. Why did I like hearing it so much? My body loved it. Sometimes it works, this time was one of those times.

His kept his hands on me tightly, gripping hard on my skin. I could hear his voice behind me as he moved. I bet he’s thinking about what I look like, what it felt like for me. It felt great for me. I don’t have to tell him. He could feel it. He could feel me.

For the first time, I felt so much that I could barely even see.

What is Sirus doing to me?

My body gave in, and I came. My legs shook as I released everything I had in me. I held my breath and my fingers tightened on him; for a few seconds, I was completely out of it. I didn’t even notice he was cumming inside me. There was too much heat inside me. My body twitched when I finally felt his hot cum in me.

I took a deep breath, shaking slightly as I started to calm down.

He moved slowly inside me, making my body move on its own again. The more he moved, the more I kept tensing. He pulled me down on the bed with him; my hand held on tightly to his arm as he moved.

“You’re shaking.” Sirus said, kissing my neck where he left all kinds of marks and wounds on me. I was too sensitive so I slightly jolted when I felt his lips. He always has something to say about me shaking. Its like that’s the thing he always has to tell me.

I know I’m shaking, he doesn’t have to keep telling me.

“T-that’s your fault.” I said, my lips trembling as I tried to speak.

I was tired.

“I should’ve seen your face when you came.” he said.

“Sirus-”

“You’re lucky I’m tired. I would fuck you as many times as I could.” he said and meant it. I know he would. He always does it.

“And I guess I would let you.” I said quietly. He laughed, his hands loosening their grip on me. His hands rested on my thighs, but they moved up higher, wrapping around my waist.

“Mm. I love it when you give in to me.” he said, kissing the nape of my neck. I sighed quietly to myself and stared up at the ceiling.

I didn’t move just yet. I wanted him to still hold on to me like this. We were both tired. I truly thought Sirus would have tried to keep going but he didn’t do anything. After a while, I did move and he pulled me down onto his bed, keeping me close to him.

We fell asleep.

This was probably the calmest I’ve ever felt with him. I was okay with it. Sirus has never even felt this nice to me. I liked how he held me, and kissed me, and breathed on me. It was so nice. No wonder I fell asleep so easily.

But I was violently woken up.

The alarm was going off, and that put me in a state of shock. I jolted in bed when I heard the harsh sound. Its three in the morning! I was jealous that Sirus didn’t even move from the noise, he was sleeping right through it. The ringing in my ears got worse as I put my head back down on the pillow.

We never get a break!

Now what are we trying to deal with?

“Sirus.” I murmured as I got up, pushing him. When he didn’t move I said his name louder over the siren. He stirred a bit but still didn’t open his eyes. “Sirus, we have to go.” I shook him as I reached for my clothes on the floor.

“I’m busy.” he murmured and turned over. Doesn’t he notice the alarm at all?

“Please, Sirus, we have to get up.” I said desperately as I looked for my clothes. There were too many things on the floor. Lately we just drop things everywhere. I couldn’t find my suit so I got anything else I could reach.

Sirus finally got up, sighing obnoxiously and cursing about how he never gets any sleep.

I wanted to fall back into bed and just lay there but I put my white clothes on. Sirus pulled on his suit and moped around. We’ve been going back and forth non stop. It would help if we weren’t always having sex.

We ran down the halls with everyone else. To my surprise however, I had taken Sirus’ jacket instead of my own. I didn’t notice until I was running a different way. I’m always wearing his clothes. People are really going to start talking about this. I kept it on me anyway because I was cold.

Picses was saying something but I could barely pay attention. I was so unfocused. It was something about Europe and preparing to fight against them.

They came finally.

Europe is massive, almost as large as Japan since they have a lot more nations to account for. They all just got together and they fight together as one. That’s what throws us off. They aren’t unified as one which makes it harder to figure out what they’re doing; they might all be together, but I know for a fact, there’s multiple Commanders doing things how they please. Are they here for Russia?

I ran to Picses’ command room and got to my screen, inputting everything I needed to. All the passwords have been reset and changed like Picses said he would do.It took him a while to get that done.

There’s a whole army. And its not regular sized. There were more dots which means the ratios were a lot bigger. Is it too much for us to handle? I won’t be able to know because I can’t see it for myself. That’s when I started to panic slightly.

“Commander Picses. The scale of their forces is more than twice ours. We can’t do this.” Someone said quickly.

“Organize your Flyers, we will be fighting them.” Picses said.

This is not a good idea!

I bit my tongue. I already went through a traumatic experience for even thinking that Picses was wrong. This is still not a good idea. Putting our Flyers out there when the enemy forces are twice ours is not the right solution. Should I be letting Sirus go or not? Picses is forcing everyone to go.

“Sirus, its dangerous.” I said quietly.

“How bad?”

“You’ll see when you get out there.” I said, rubbing my eyes. Now I really have to think about this. Sirus is under my control which means I hold his life in my hands. Its been like this for a while, but right now is the moment that I’m paying attention to that.

“Tell me now.” he urged.

“Their forces are more than twice as much as ours even with Africa and us combined.” I said weakly, admitting the inevitable truth to him. This is so terrible that I couldn’t believe it.

“And we’re still doing this?”

“That’s what Commander Picses wants.” I said.

“Dammit, I said I wouldn't do-”

“Please ,Sirus, you will have to do everything I tell you this time. That’s the only way to guarantee your safety.” I said quickly, trying to get him to focus. He didn’t respond to me. He can’t do whatever he wants, not today, not when this is happening. “Don’t be selfish. If someone is about to help you, let them.” I said as I stared at my screen. We haven’t been ordered to let go yet.

“I will n-”

“Sirus! Just do something I tell you for once in your life, the last thing I need right now is you blown to pieces. Just trust me, okay.” I was begging him. He didn’t respond to me.

Picses gave us the command to go out there. Now its a war.

If we get taken over. That’s it. We fail. And knowing Europe, they’re going to make sure that we stay down in defeat.

We almost lost to Japan, we aren’t going to lose to Europe.

“The first wave is coming towards your sector. Be careful about how you approach them.” I said quickly, bringing up whatever status they have.

“Got it.”

With Europe, we really do have to be careful. They all have something different. I might know one side, but then there’s many others I don’t know about. The Computer doesn’t pick up all that much about each different force.

We have to be prepared to lose people. Everyone’s thinking it.

Not everyone will make it.

I was paranoid, hearing all kinds of orders from Commander Picses and not even able to act on it because it doesn’t apply to my sector. I stayed quiet, watching my screens as I heard the yelling. Some people don’t agree. He wants us to go all out, and the others don’t think its safe. Picses really wanted to push us out there.

Its not a good idea.

Its not a good idea at all.

I bit my tongue. I’m the only one that can’t speak out. My fingers tapped on the white table as I stared at my screen, keeping watch over Sirus. He was baring through it for now. I haven’t heard any complaints or comments.

What can he see?

What’s it like?

“There’s four of them following behind you, Sirus.” I said as Africa began to show up on my screen. Even if they’re here, its not enough. There’s more European forces that keeps coming, wave after wave, and it was making me panic.

“Order for an organized attack. Line up above them as best as you can.” Picses said loudly.

“Follow the others,” I said to Sirus.

“What are we doing?”

“I don’t know,” I said quietly. I noticed his health going down. He won’t tell me anything that’s going on. I’m not sure if he knows either. I have no clue what to tell him.

I was lost.

Waves of Europe’s forces were being deleted from my screen but its not even enough since we’re losing so many people on our side as well. I started to bite on my nails as I stared at my screen.

“How fast can you go right now?” I asked him.

“Depends, why?” he asked. I drew in the command I wanted to give him, showing him a path I wanted him to take. If we do it in these seconds, we might be able to take care of a couple hundred of their defenses, but it won’t work maybe. Europe moves fast as well.

“You’re crazy.” Sirus said.

“Can you just trust me on this?” I asked, biting harder on my finger.

“Aurora-” he was getting angry with me.

“I wouldn’t suggest it if I thought you couldn’t do it,” I said honestly.

“Fine.” he said bitterly as I unlocked some of the better weapons for him. There was one more that I was technically not supposed to unlock but I know that right now, we could use it.

“I wasn’t going to tell you this ever but some of the weapons have the chips that we took from Russia. Just get out of the way when you use them.” I said quietly because no one is supposed to know that I’m giving him more than he’s supposed to have.

I thought Picses would be more defensive. Now I have to take matters into my own hands. I can’t just let him wait to give orders to go all out. We’re getting slaughtered out there, but he’s just waiting. Nothing’s going to happen. We aren’t going to get a miracle. We’re going to get hurt out there.

Sirus listened to me. For now, things were going fine. I didn’t want to worry but I couldn’t stop biting my finger. This isn’t looking too good. I was waiting for Picses to say that we should pull back but he was making us hold on. I don’t think its a good idea. I’ve been thinking all of this isn’t a good idea. Lately, everything has been a bad idea. Now, I’m standing here, panicking because Picses wants to see if we can hold up against Europe.

We can’t.

“Holy shit.” he said in shock. A good portion of Europe was gone, and now we were close to equal. But then I saw that Sirus got hit with something.

“What happened?” I asked quickly

“Its fine.” he said. He is not fine! I saw it on my screen. His health went done a lot. Did something happen? Did he get hit? There is no way I’m letting him blow this off as something minor.

“Your health is down to fifty percent. Do not tell me its fine.” I said.

“I’ll be fine.”

“No I’m pulling you-”

“Do not take control over this ship, Aurora, I swear I will kill you.” he threatened. I pursed my lips tightly as listened. I didn’t want to, but my fingers didn’t move. I can’t persuade him to give up and come back.

I was scared for him, I haven’t seen him take this much damage before.

A lot more ships were being wiped from my screen. My heart sank into my stomach as I stopped breathing. This is the first time we might be defeated. I can’t think of myself as an optimistic person, not when all this is happening.

“Commander, we might have to retreat.” Someone said behind me. I’ve been thinking that this whole time. Knowing Picses, he would say no. There’s no way he would retreat. He has too much pride for that.

“No.” he said.

I knew it.

“Sir, our forces are-”

“We will continue on until we have nothing left.” he said. I covered my mouth so I wouldn’t say anything against him. I desperately wanted to tell him that sometimes, we can’t just fight through these things. It would be better if we did surrender because at least we’re not getting everyone killed.

“How are you?” I asked Sirus quietly.

“I can be better.” he said.

“Does it look anymore dangerous?” I asked.

“It looks like hell.” he said. I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t want him to be out there. If I could, I would just bring him back but Picses would look down on me. No, he’d think it was treason. At this point, I’m not worried about my image.

I just want Sirus to come back. If any of them stay out there any longer, they’re just going to get killed.

“You have clear shots everywhere,” I said, noticing that no one was following our defenses anymore. They had split up again like they were in the beginning. There was a division line that no one would go through. A couple ships would be destroyed here and there, and I just watched to make sure that Sirus was okay.

He wouldn’t talk, but I knew he was there. When he’s nervous, he stays quiet. I got more and more frustrated. There was barely anything going on and I thought this would be the greatest time for Picses to tell us to pull back.

We lost too many people, and Picses is just going to stand there like its nothing. If Europe were to come back, we wouldn’t last a minute.

“They’re retreating, sir.” The same woman said to Picses. I saw it on my screen as I looked away from all of Sirus’ statuses. He might be seriously hurt but he won’t say anything about it. He will never tell me about.

I was worried.

“We’ve done enough.” Picses said quietly after a bit of silence. We’ve done a lot more than enough. How many people did we lose for this? I opened my mouth to tell Sirus but I couldn’t find my voice.

I said nothing.

I could hear yelling outside the room, there was angry shouting and screaming. People were in disbelief. We were scared and shocked and crying. I took off my head set as I saw the others’ faces. They were tormented. I was broken. There was nothing I could say about what happened. It was too much. Picses pushed us too far.

I walked out there, seeing Coordinators flood the hallways as they ran the same way. They were going to help the rest of the Flyers coming in. It was complete chaos. No one knew what to do. What now? How do we make it through now? Some Coordinators were sitting against the walls on the floor with their arms around their knees and their heads down. Others were openly crying and yelling.

It was too much.

Then I saw Hias and I thought of my sister. Her face looked grim. She looked around then she stopped when she saw me. She hesitated, then she looked away from me. My hands didn’t move. I couldn’t move my legs either. Is...Alara...Hias turned the other way so I couldn’t see her face, and she blended into the crowd of Coordinators.

I couldn’t move.

Everything just stopped.

In my mind, I was just alone, not able to process what just happened. I’ve cracked.