Race to the Next World

Fifteen other Coordinators lined up next to me. I remained silent as I looked at the ground nervously. I would prefer to not go into deep space but what choice do I have? I should speak up, I should honestly say something about having to do this. I ran all kinds of scenarios in my head, all of them ending so tragically that I felt like it might happen for real. What if my suit has a hole in it? What if my helmet cracks? What if my jet pack runs out of fuel? I really don’t want to die out in space. I took a small breath as I put my helmet on. I only have an hour worth of oxygen since they believe that it shouldn’t take longer than ten minutes. I’m hoping it takes less than that.

I can’t stand space.

None of the other Coordinators were agitated like I was. Its either they’re good at hiding it or they really don’t care about going out there.

It feels like I’m alone, like I’m the only one panicking.

There was a green light for us to go but its not like we could take a step forward. They dropped us from the ship. Its a cruel joke they do to people sometimes; I’ve done this enough to know they always do it. It scares the new Coordinators. The older ones are over it, just like me.

Space is dark. Its quiet. There’s nothing here.

I was just falling into a void.

I didn’t turn on my jet pack for a few seconds. All the other Coordinators were moving to their assigned locations but I just floated away into the darkness. This is what its like. If I didn’t have help, this is what it would be like. When I got too far, I turned on my jet pack, finally being able to move. I made my way around, following a few other Coordinators that were ahead of me.

I still don’t like it here. I know I like it when places are silent because I don’t have to deal with other people or noise, but space is unsettling and this silence is bad news. I would never want to keep coming out here.

It took a while to get to the thrusters. I turned off my jet pack when I was standing inside the one that wasn’t working. I’ve heard stories about the thrusters. There were people who would have their fun in them when they’re turned off. People would actually walk inside and try to find out where the fuel source comes from. I’m not going anywhere near that deep because all the stories end the same. Someone didn’t know people were playing around inside, and they’d turn on the thrusters.

I should really just leave.

I looked around me and looked back. Its either I stay in here or float away. Those or my only two options. I sighed quietly to myself.

“Computer.” I said.

“Yes, Cadet Aurora.”

“Run a scan of the thruster.” I said. My screen flashed, turning blue as inside the thruster began to light up as well. It doesn’t seem like there was anything wrong.

“Scan complete. No foreign damage.”

So did someone turn it off? Was it Xalton? I’m sure Captain Iris would have noticed if a thruster was off when he wasn’t the one who turned it off.

“Scan for a malfunction.” I said. My screen turned blue again as the computer ran another scan. It would probably show up as nothing like before.

“Scan complete. No malfunctions.”

Despite knowing everything I’ve heard, I walked further slowly. I was cautious as I moved and I was aware that I wasn’t going to move too deep. The metal didn’t show any damage, not even from the intense heat. I stopped walking when I reached too deep.

This is as far as I go.

Maybe someone else will take over the issue since I can’t find anything.

As I turned, the danger warning lit up on my screen.

"Warning." The computer repeated over and over again. "Significant heat source approaching."

The entire time I was thinking ‘there’s no way that I’d get burned in here’. The thruster was shaking underneath me. That means one thing. I tried running but I’m not fast enough in zero gravity. I turned on my jet pack to get myself out of there as quickly as possible.

There was a bright light coming from behind me.

In my head I was screaming. I was screaming so loud that people would be able to hear my thoughts. I kept moving, trying to make it seem like I’m not just going through the motions of running. The light was getting brighter. I fell off the edge of the thrusters and got as far away as I could so when the thrusters did light, I wouldn’t be burnt to a crisp.

The blue fire burned in the operating thruster, just like in the others. I closed my eyes and took a breath because I had just made it out with a moment to spare.

I hate being close to death. I really can’t stand being here. I was sweating from the panic and that made being in my suit unbearable.

I found the other Coordinators that were floating around. No one could find any damages in the other thrusters.

Though we did find it odd that they would power on while we were doing a task inside them. Whoever did it had to have known we were out here, right?

We went back to where we were dropped from.. I just made my way up into the chambers and waited for the remaining people to get in. The hatches closed and when the green light showed up on the screen, we all took off our helmets. Everyone had a calm trip, I was still panicking and freaking out quietly to myself. My heart was racing in my chest, and I thought I was having a heart attack.

This is one of the things I hate about being a Coordinator.

I don’t like going out in space. At all.

There are times when I know I have to but if I had a choice, I would never actually do it.

I went back to my room, feeling how weak my body was from all the terror and panicking. My shoulders were tense because I was holding myself up more fr the stress. I like being in a stable place, where I can just walk without floating. When I walked into my room, I had stopped complaining to myself because Sirus was here.

He was sleeping.

Out of all the months I’ve been with him, this is literally the first time I was able to see him sleep.

I stood in front of him as I stared at his face. How can someone that’s always so angry look so peaceful while asleep? Maybe this isn’t Sirus, maybe this is someone else.

I kept staring at his face while he slept. He probably dreams about killing people and burning things. Is that why he looks so peaceful?

He didn’t wake up from me moving around the room, from me taking things off, from nothing. He was asleep. He does wake up early and sleeps late a lot. And for the longest time, he’s been doing it. With as little sleep he gets, he's still healthy.

I didn’t get enough of watching him sleep for a while. I just couldn’t believe that he could look innocent with the reputation he has for being an absolute monster. He's crazy.

For once, I wasn’t afraid to go to sleep.

I don’t have to leave and go somewhere else.

Like usual, when I woke up, he was gone. He’s always going somewhere in the morning. I bet its training. He never stops. I got up, pushing the sheets out of the way as I rubbed my face. I have no clue what will happen today but it could be absolutely anything.

I wore my suit like a majority of the people I was around today. I didn’t feel like doing anything so I sat with some other Coordinators in the hall. There was not a Flyer in sight. On days like these, it just means they’re training intensely.

I’m not going to say that all Flyers are mean. There are some that can be tolerated. Sometimes they come here and they don’t do much except stay with their Coordinator.

Then there are the rough ones that come around.

I’m not going to say that all Coordinators are weak, because there are some that will happily fight a Flyer and make them back off. I’ve seen that before. But I want to say that a majority of us really don’t like fighting.

Taurus and Hags were having a good time talking about what if they snuck up to the civilian deck for the night to do something fun. I would join them but I’m tired. I didn’t talk much today, I’m still paranoid about what happened yesterday.

“I heard your sister got assigned to Hias.” Taurus said, getting me into the conversation.

My sister got assigned this morning which means its official. There’s been a wave of new recruits so everyone got paired this morning. Hias is nice and quiet. Alara is always excited and loud. I don’t know how that will work out for them but I’m sure they’ll find out. Hias is good at her job so I don’t have to worry about Alara’s safety.

“My only problem is how much she looks up to Sirus.” I said bitterly.

“All the newbies look at people like him like that, Aurora. Its not anything new.” he said, laughing at me. I’m sure I wouldn’t. Then again, if I were a Flyer, chances are I would be ruthless with lack of morality in thought processes.

“Sirus...well...he’s good at what he does.” Taurus tried to make me feel better but I felt nothing. I sighed again and played with the table, not even knowing if I should talk to Alara about this. Its dangerous and I’m worried.

“We really can’t say that he isn’t though. I don’t think it would be so bad if your sister found him to be a role model.” Hags said. That made me feel worse. Role model is not what I was thinking. I glared at him, wanting him to keep his mouth shut. Sirus isn’t a role model.

“I’m leaving.” I said as I got up. I can’t be around them when they’re trying to defend Sirus’ behavior to be a good thing. I turned to leave but there was someone in my way.

Xalton.

I wasn’t sure if I should be frightened or arrogant. What does he want from me? With the way he was looking down at me, I figured he was only here to bully me. I should fight back, after all its just Xalton. So what he’s older? That doesn’t mean anything.

“Do you need something?” I asked politely despite everything I wanted to say.

“We heard you helped fix the broken thruster.” he said. That’s right, him and his friends. Good, maybe he’ll stop being reckless.

“It wasn’t broken, it just had a slight problem starting.” I lied. Xalton was amused. I’m sure he tried to kill me in there. Its all because of his grudge with me. Now he’s mad that I’m still alive. Honestly, I’m tired of all the fighting. If he really wants me gone, he should just try to do something with his bare hands.

“How unfortunate. At least the problem is fixed.” he said, a bit disappointed. I wasn’t having it today. I’m already in a terrible mood and his comments are not something I want to deal with.

“Are you here to congratulate me, or do you have something you actually want to tell me?” I glared up at him but he kept his smile on his face.

“I’m just surprised the Commander would pick someone like you to be his prodigy.” he said. There it is, he finally came out with it for everyone to hear. All the younger people are always targets so this isn’t anything new. I rolled my eyes. I have somewhere better to be.

“I’m sorry I work harder than you, Xalton. I didn’t know the jealousy would be unbearable for you.” I said plainly as I tried to walk around him. It wouldn’t work like that though since his friends were here as well. I never knew the older ones would be so childish.

I just want to leave.

“You must be proud of yourself.” he said bitterly behind me, finally showing his true colors. “You must feel superior just because you’ve been ranked one.”

“Rankings aren't an accurate measure of skill.” I turned to him. He’s so bitter about something like that, and I get it, but trying to kill me is not an answer. He should obviously know.

And he’s a traitor, so I’m sure if he kills me, it’d be a perk for him.

“Of course it isn’t.” he said, glaring down at me. He really doesn’t like being outranked. There will always be people that are better. Unfortunately for him, I’m that person.

“Why do you care?”

“I should be ahead of you. You’re nothing but a little kid that can’t get around.” he said, like it was supposed to hurt me. It didn’t.

“I don’t-”

“And to be paired up with someone who’s claimed to be one of the best Flyers on this ship.” he looked down at me with disgust. I didn’t think he would hate me this much. I kept my mouth shut as I looked away from him. “Just know there were others before you, and there will always be more after you. He treats them all the same.” he said to me lowly, as if it were supposed to make me crack.

I know Sirus keeps changing, I know he might even change me when he gets bored of me. But that’s after I get my spot as Commander. I was hoping that he doesn’t do what he does to me with everyone he’s ever had. But it just makes me seem like the rest, its not like he looks at me different. We’re all the same to him. Sirus doesn’t care. I never expected him to.

I don’t know what I felt, but I was more bitter than before. I couldn’t find words to say and that just means he got to me. I never liked Xalton, and this is why. He has a terrible attitude and this is why he’ll never succeed. I wanted to say that, but I couldn’t find my voice.

“Hey!”

Anyone that was paying attention turned around to the sound of Sirus’ voice behind us. He was coming this way with a few other Flyers. That will only start a fight, he shouldn’t have brought them, he shouldn’t even be here. What is he doing?

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” He asked Xalton loudly.

Before he could even get too close to Xalton, I did my best to push him back. His friends saw my struggle and held on to him so he wouldn’t move. I don’t want him fighting on account of me, if that’s why he’s doing it.

“Oh, you must have heard me.” Xalton said, laughing dryly. Sirus had a fire in his eyes so strong that I thought he would kill everyone near him. Xalton really knows how to piss people off. “Hopefully you don’t think I’m lying though.” he added, a smile on his face.

“You don’t know-”

“Of course I know, Sirus. Or have you forgotten? Have you been with too many people to remember?” he asked him. What is Xalton talking about?

“How about you keep your mouth shut or I’ll shut it for you.” he threatened, still trying to get to him. Sirus doesn’t lie with his threats. The other Flyers held him back but I saw that they really wanted to let him go so he could do his worst. Sirus would tear Xalton apart if it weren’t for them.

“You won’t be making threats for long.” Xalton laughed as he and his friends began to leave.

I wasn’t sure why I felt so bad but I did. Sirus really wanted to go after him, I saw it on his face, the way his eyes were on fire. I know he would succeed in hurting Xalton but all this is not a reason to fight. It never will be. I was grateful there were people to stop him.

But I needed to be alone. I felt terrible now and the feeling wasn’t going away. It just got to me, and as much as I tell myself that I won’t let Xalton get to me, he does.

I rushed out of there, going somewhere I wouldn’t be found.

I don’t know why I felt that bad. But it wasn’t anything that Xalton said about me being a cocky and arrogant adolescent. I know what I am. It was what he said about Sirus. I shouldn’t be affected about that. I shouldn’t even care about that. I know Sirus, I know he has no respect for me, that he will never treat me kindly. I know I’m not the only one he’s treated horribly and violently. But Xalton made it seem so different.

What did Xalton think?

That Sirus treats me different?

Its not true.

I never expected Sirus to treat me different. I already know that will never happen as long as I’m alive. I’m aware of that. But the way I felt said I wanted it to be different. I hated this feeling. My heart kept tugging in my chest every time I replayed what he said to me over and over again. This is not what I hoped for. It will never be what I hoped for.

I looked outside the glass, seeing nothing but darkness. But that’s what space is. Darkness. And even though light can travel through it, there has been none so far. I just stared out, wondering if one day we’d be able to find some stars. We’re close to the galaxy, but I just wonder.

As I moved from the railing, the alarm went off. Just when I’m at my worst, something needs to happen. I was considering not going, but I can’t just disobey orders. I was so bitter that I thought I wouldn’t be able to do my job right today.

Everyone else ran as I walked to my control room section. I didn’t feel like talking right now, I barely even planned on it. But I need to communicate with Sirus anyway. I got inside and went to my numbered spot, sitting down and sighing. I put my head down on my arms; I want to give up. I’m so tired.

“Are you okay, Aurora?” Taurus asked me quietly. I picked my head up and looked at her. She was concerned for me. I know. I took my head set and put it on.

“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.” I said as I tried to get focused. I don’t need to screw up and give Xalton what he wants. I don’t need to fail. That could even cost Sirus his life.

I was quiet as I turned everything on. I know Sirus wasn’t going to speak to me either unless I say something to provoke him.

Everything appeared to be fine with him so it would be okay to let him go on. Russia has come back on our tail. If they keep attacking us, that only means their Mother Ship is close to ours. We always knew they would be first to being behind us. It can only mean they fought past Europe as well.

“So you aren’t going to talk?” Sirus finally asked.

“Focus and do your job.” I said bleakly as I pulled up his tracker.

Russia let go much more people this time. We always have the numbers to match up but this time we don’t. By my estimate, they have a thousand more people out there than we do.

“All of you are the same.” he sighed.

“Enlighten me, Sirus. Tell me how all of us are the same to you.” I said, annoyed with him already.

“Stop bullshitting me with that crap. You always think the same, looking down on people as if they’re shit. And don’t tell me you don’t do that, because I know you do.” he said.

“You’re wrong.”

“And there’s another one. You always think I’m wrong, when sometimes, I’m pretty much not. Just get over it, that guy is a jackass anyway.” he said, probably more pissed off than he sounded. I wanted to ask him something, I really did want to but I wasn’t sure.

“Were you ever paired with Xalton?” I asked quietly.

“I was.” he answered.

That’s all I needed to know everything. Xalton was right, why the hell was I thinking that he wouldn’t be? Its all the same isn’t it? Who else has he been with? Will I ever be able to find out? I shouldn’t care.

“You over think too much.” he said.

“Shut up. I don’t care.” I said quickly.

“Doesn’t sound like it.” he said.

“You are so childish. How about you leave it be, Sirus. I told you I don’t care. Why should I ever care? Its only a matter of time before you get bored and want someone else.” I said.

“Oh.” he laughed. “That’s why you’re upset.”

What? He wasn’t thinking the same thing I was?

“Leave it alone.” I said quickly, feeling my face turn extremely red. I didn’t even know that I was upset with that. Sirus was still laughing and it only made me more upset than before. I can’t believe I didn’t think out my explanation the way I should I have. This is so unfair.

“Why didn’t you tell me before, Aurora?”

“I swear if you don’t stop it, I will blow you up right now.” I threatened.

“Then how would you feel about me being gone?” he laughed. I can’t take this. I didn’t mean to say anything but it happened. I didn’t think anything through and this happens. I know I’ll probably just lock myself up.

I didn’t say a word as I stared at my screen. There was that familiar image that I saw before. Russia came back with that mini canon ship of theirs. I feared it actually being functional. It might be however. They wouldn’t use it again if it wasn’t.

“If you’re interested, Russia came back with that weapon of theirs.” I said, ignoring everything that was said minutes ago. The last thing I was going to do is revisit that.

“I can see it from here.” he said.

“I’m sure there’s no flaws.” I said as I leaned my head on to my hand. This is child’s play. When are they going to make this interesting? I flicked my screen and pulled up the information I wrote up on it last time.m

“There’s one.” he said. And how would he know that? I rolled my eyes. “But I would have to get close to it.” he said.

“No.” I said quickly, almost ready to take control over his ship just because I believe he won’t listen to me. I hate how I hesitated though. Last time I had enough to deal with. This time, I’m not going through it again. Carsus almost bit my head right off before.

“It’ll be fine.”

“You don’t listen, Sirus. I’m telling you no!” I said quickly and sat up. His tracker was off my screen by then. “Dammit, Sirus. Why can’t you follow orders?”

“I’m not going to waste my time when I can take care of this now.” he said. I get that he likes taking out threats, but he shouldn’t do it if I say not to.

“All units, pull back!” Carsus yelled at us.

“Listen to me, Sirus. You aren’t supposed to get any further than where you are. Pull back.” I said. He scoffed. He’s not going to. I put my head down. He’s doing this again. I shouldn’t be surprised because he always does this.

“I’ll pull back when I’m done.” he said.

“I’ve been ordered-”

“And I’m telling you I’ll pull back when I’m done. You either leave me alone or help me out.” he said. I can’t leave him out there to defend on his own. He even knows I would never pick that option. I can’t believe I’m disobeying Carsus.

I read through everything I got down last time. Compared to what I’m seeing now, its much different. This is not a prototype, this is the real deal. This one is fully functional and now I would really have to guess what I should let Sirus do. The only thing I noticed was that this weapon was slower than the one before it, but it was holding a lot more energy. Its to fire more weapons, not for the engine.

Sirus really doesn’t know how to pick his battles. My hand pressed against my face as I thought of something to do.

There's so many constraints. How much time Sirus had, how far away he is and how far he'll have to be if he does take this on, how much fire power that thing has. I can warn Sirus that he's not doing something worth it but he won't see it that way.

“You only get seven seconds when it starts charging. If you’re going to shoot, give yourself enough distance because it has more energy to blow this time. Its engine is moved behind it, close to its thrusters so when it's blown up it will take out everything around it and it has a huge radius for that. You’d have to get it to move around before you can have a direct hit.” I explained to him. This is all just guesses and estimates, but I ran the scenario and the radius for how much energy will be shot out was huge.

If Sirus could see this he might change his mind.

I was hoping I was wrong, that this machine wasn't as bad as I think it is. “Are you sure you still want to go for it?” I asked

His tracker was turned on.

He’s going for it.

“Two thirty-six! I have ordered for a retreat.” Carsus yelled towards me. I had to think of something but I should tell the truth shouldn’t I?

“He refuses to.” I said, which was true.

“Take control of his ship.”

“His tracker is off.” That was a lie. I glanced back down at my screen. Russia’s weapon started to charge, which means he has seven seconds.

“Aurora!”

Sirus is so lucky I’m taking the fault for him. I would love to just throw him under and get him in more trouble but I can’t leave him out there. I tried talking to Carsus and that made him even more upset. I was stalling. He couldn’t see what I was typing.

I’m breaking the rules here, and this is all for Sirus. I might as well go for it since I'll get in trouble anyway.

I had unlocked everything I could for Sirus while Carsus popped a blood vessel yelling at me.

I told Sirus not to get close but he was doing it anyway.

If he doesn’t make it, I will regret this. I didn't warn Sirus hard enough. That's why he's being disobedient.

I glanced down at my screen and paused for a second. Carsus' voice was muffled in my ears as I waited and watched for Sirus. I hadn't heard anything yet. There was nothing on my screen, everything was gone, even Sirus’ location. I sat there, in shock as I stared at my blank screen. Sirus wasn’t on it anymore.

I killed him. Oh my gosh, he’s dead.

“How mad are they?" Sirus finally asked.

I put my head down. He turned off his tracker again so Carsus couldn’t get to him. I was just so relieved to hear his voice. I thought he died. Because of him, we’re in a lot trouble. I can’t even begin to explain what he did.

“We’re in so much trouble.” I murmured.

And to prove it, Carsus did report my disobedience to Commander Picses. Not only that, Sirus and I had to go in so he could yell at us.

I waited to hear it, to feel what it was like to be yelled at, and to hate it. I know Picses will only think less of me now because I disobeyed orders but I can’t leash Sirus the way people think I can. He doesn’t take orders from me, I only benefit him when he needs me. That’s it.

"Aurora, you could have been considered a traitor.” he told me.

“I know, sir.” I responded.

“You are not to disobey orders from officials, do you understand?” he was yelling at me. That is something I have never experienced before in my life.

“Its not his fault.” Sirus cut in. “I was the one who turned off my tracker and didn’t listen. He tried to stop me.” This is surprising. I didn’t think he would ever explain himself to officials for me.

Why would he do this, we’re both at fault here, he doesn’t have to take all the blame.

“Sirus-”

“It won’t happen again.” he said.

Yes it will, we both know it will. But he was taking the fault for me. I didn't expect him to immediately say he won't disobey again like that. Usually it has to be dragged out of him.

And for him to defend me...that hasn't happened before. At least for me to be this stunned.

“You two are dismissed.” Picses said, turning away from us. Usually when he’s mad, he’s mad at the Flyers. But for once, he’s furiated with a Coordinator. He probably didn’t buy Sirus taking the blame for me.

But it's the thought that counts.

I still felt terrible. My spot at being Commander has been jeopardized greatly because of something I would rather help Sirus out than listen to orders. I don't know why I chose him but it happened. I guess I didn't want to leave him out in space alone.

I'm his Coordinator, I have to help him. So I wasn't mad that I did what I did, I'm mad about how we handled it.

“He should be happy we did our jobs.” Sirus said bitterly.

“Don’t you get it? We disobeyed orders and it wasn’t even a minor one." I said, irritated and annoyed and scared. He doesn't get it. "You could have been killed Sirus! And it would have been all my fault. Why can’t you take this seriously?” I snapped at him. As much as I want to be on his side for everything, his life is in my hands. I'm responsible for him.

I walked by him, so I could leave because I wanted to be alone to think. I couldn't process what I did and why I did it and now I need to think.