Perpetual

I frown as I look at my latest bank statement. I am not sure what made me come up with the stupid idea of throwing a party last weekend but it has done a number on me. My salary alone is being strained because I got a huge loan last year.

I couldn’t stand it when Lona told me that Gabriel was buying her a Hilux so I also bought one making it look like it was already in the pipe line. The money from the sell of Leo’s shares is slowly finishing because I have been living a lavish life trying to keep up appearances and taking care of the house since he brings nothing to the table.

I can divorce him any time but my pride won’t allow me just yet because I still need everyone in the circle to see us as married and I need people in society to give me the respect that comes with being married. Of course only our friends know what is happening in our marriage, the rest of the world especially my work colleagues think that I bagged a good one and he provides.

I look up from my PC when a knock comes through at the door. Today’s Monday meeting was from hell, I didn’t realize that the Country Director was in town and he was blasting at us at how the sales have gone down. I just wanted to leave that meeting and nurse my hangover. The knock comes through again and this time I scream for the person to come in.

‘Gabriel.’ I say shocked.

We haven’t been in a place where we are the two of us since I lost the baby. I am not sure if he has been directly ignoring me or maybe in the first place there was really nothing between us.

‘Can I?’ he asks pointing at the empty chair in the room.

‘Sure.’ I respond .

I offer him some water but he declines. Tells me that he is fine and he won’t be staying long.

‘What do I owe this visit from Management?’ I ask .

‘Sasha I wont take much of your time and me talking to you like this is out of respect and the friendship that you and Lona have.’

‘Okay.’

‘You are failing in your duties and Management is not happy.’

‘Did they send you to talk to me?’

I see him move uncomfortably.

‘Like I mentioned before, Lona is your friend and I wouldn’t want to leave you in the dark. They might be laying off some people in the next few months so you better start performing in your duties otherwise we will lay you off.’

The hangover I had suddenly vanishes.

He stands up.

‘You started out well, you were performing just fine and your team had sales that were beating everyone else, but even the people you are leading are doing better than you. What do you honestly think that says about you as their leader?’

Silence.

‘You have a huge loan running, if you are laid off today we will have to deduct from your benefits. Now imagine losing your job and walking out with nothing.’

I swallow hard, feeling my eyes well up.

‘Also you need to tone down on living a flashy life, you know it will just eat up your savings.’

‘What do you know about my life?’ I ask, his sentence has touched a nerve.

He raises a brow.

‘I care about you Sasha, you know I do, because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be having this conversation with you.’

‘Bullshit!’

‘Excuse me?’

‘Gabriel you won’t stand in my presence like you are a saint when you are the worst person I will ever meet. When were you planning on apologizing for my baby?’

‘Apologizing?’

‘You know what you did, you know that my child is dead because of you.’

He looks at me straight in the eyes.

‘Tell me you wanted to keep that baby and I will apologize.’

Silence.

‘I thought so.’

‘Just because I didn’t want to keep it doesn’t mean that you had the right to kill it. I could have given it out to an orphanage or something.’

‘Your fight doesn’t hold water Sasha, I know you are glad that you didn’t carry that child full term. I know that you enjoyed everything we shared and if I was to ask you to sleep with me today you would agree. Sasha your body belongs to me. Your soul belongs to me.’

‘I might have been weak a few times but you don’t own me.’

‘Really now? How about we try something.’

‘What?’

He locks the door, moves the chair he was sitting on towards the door so that he is leaning against it.

‘Gabrial what are you doing?’

‘Get out of your clothes.’

‘What?’

‘You heard me Sasha, get out of your clothes.’

‘No!’

‘I wont ask again.’ He says opening his zip. He removes his privates and starts to massage his manhood whilst his eyes are fixed on me. I swallow hard as I watch him grow before my eyes. He sure has a hold on me because this is sexy.

‘Come here.’ He commands me.

I walk over to where he is.

‘Take your pants off.’

I do as told.

‘Now sit on me.’

‘I am not wet.’

‘I don’t need you to be.’ He says and I sit on him, feeling every piece of me tear as he rips me apart. When he successfully goes in he asks me to start whining on him, my hands are holding the door tightly, his mouth is biting on my nipples roughly. As everything ripples through me tears run down my face.

‘What happened to me?’ I ask myself inwardly as tears run down my cheeks silently.

…

Kwenje’s Girl

Winnie

🙇🏾‍♀️