Pedigree

When I don’t have any more tears to cry, i clean my face and wipe any evidence of tears. I am just hoping that Chisoni doesn’t notice anything because then I would have to explain what happened and I don’t have the strength to tell him right now.

I drive home and when I get there I am silently praying he has stepped out but his car in his parking spot shows that he is still around.

‘Hey baby.’ He says coming to kiss my lips

‘Hey my love.’ I respond feigning a smile

‘I got worried when I woke up and found that you were not around, is everything okay?’

‘Yes baby, everything is fine.’ I respond kissing his lips again, this time giving him a part of me in the depth of the kiss.

‘Someone missed me.’

‘Of course I always miss you.’ I tell him

‘I prepared some breakfast, how about you go and relax then I serve you?’

‘Let me just take a quick bath.’

‘Alright I will be here.’

I walk to the bedroom and go straight to our bathroom, I lock myself inside and exhale.

Warm fresh tears roll down my eyes as I hold on to my tummy, just like that I have lost my baby and I don’t even have the guts to tell my husband about it. Knowing he will become suspicious and obviously want to come check on me, I bath quickly. I am glad I still have tampons I have been keeping so I wear one and hide the plastic covers in my bag so that Chisoni doesn’t see them.

I change into a loose long dress with house shoes, I look better but my emotions are still all over the place.

‘You look better.’ Chisoni compliments

‘Thank you baby.’

I take a sit, he has already served breakfast. He sits next to me and starts pacing me the food.

‘I was thinking for the next medical checkup we should find out the sex of the baby.’

‘I thought we didn’t want to know.’ I say looking at him.

‘I didn’t want to know, but now I am just excited about everything.’

‘What sex are you hoping it is?’

‘A girl, a mini you. I think boys are work.’

‘Just say boys are always closer to their mothers that is why you don’t want one.’

He laughs shyly

‘That is not entirely true, I do want a boy but then a girl should come first.’ I shake my head and watch him talk about a baby when I can’t even bring myself to tell him that we have lost it.

Time moves really fast, three weeks have gone by since I lost my child and up to date I still haven’t told Chisoni about it.

I have been doing a lot of thinking and I have finally decided to get pregnant again so that I cover up for the loss of our child and I know it’s not my call to decide that Chisoni will actually be broken after he hears the truth but then in all honesty I don’t him to experience loss because he went through a lot as a child.

I made an appointment with my doctor and that is where I am right now.

‘I am sorry for keeping you waiting, traffic.’ She says walking in, get assistant let me into her office.

‘It’s fine, I came in a bit too early as well.’ I say

She smiles at me then settles into her chair

‘How have you been?’ She asks

I like her as my doctor, we have a good doctor patient relationship.

‘I have been fine, back on my feet now.’ I say looking at her with a smile

‘I am glad to hear that.’

There is a hit silence after that, she is obviously wondering why I called to see her earlier than my already set appointment date.

‘We went to see my husband’s doctor yesterday and we were informed that he has developed low spent count and chances of us ever having another baby are zero to nothing.’

‘Okay.’

‘Well the news devastated him but then the thought of me already being pregnant was sort of comforting for him.’

She lifts an eyebrow

‘I haven’t told him that I lost the baby.’

There is silence again, I don’t know if she is judging me but from the way she takes time to just look at me I am guessing she has other things on her mind.

‘Is there a way that we can get me pregnant? Without me having to sleep with the man of course?’

‘Cathy this is extreme.’

‘I will pay whatever amount of money I have to, anything. I just want to get pregnant.’

‘There are ways yes, but sadly I don’t do those things. I can recommend a few doctors that can help you though.’

I sigh emotionally

‘That is not necessary, thank you for everything.’

I am now on my feet

‘Cathy, being childless is not the end of the world. Science sometimes gets it wrong, but even I as a medical practitioner believes God does come through when we lest expect it. And I shouldn’t and wouldn’t judge you, but your house will crumble once your husband finds out about all this.’

‘Yeah, you shouldn’t be judging.’ I say walking out of her office

When I get into my car I call the one person in the world who I shouldn’t be calling, Isaac. He is a doctor and he owes Chisoni for all the years he did wrong by him, he won’t refuse to help me and I will make sure that he does help me without thinking about it.

When we are done talking I drive towards mum’s clinic in woodlands, he does part time jobs there aside from being the doctor in charge at Fairview Hospital.

The excitement on his face is creepy when I get to his office, we haven’t seen each other since the wedding and I don’t understand why he is wearing this smile on his face as I walk towards him.

..

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Winnie

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