Pedigree

I am seated in Isaac’s office wondering what in God’s name I am doing here, every fibre of my being tells me that I shouldn’t be in this place and how wrong it is but I just want to save my marriage.

He hands me a cup of coffee before settling opposite me.

‘Are you okay?’ he asks looking straight into my eyes

‘I think I am.’ I say chuckling nervously

He looks at me again, obviously waiting for me to tell him why I am here.

‘I needed to see you, I talked to my doctor about my situation and sadly she can’t do much to help me.’

‘And what is this situation?’

‘I had a chemical miscarriage some weeks back.’

‘Oh my God, I am so sorry for your loss. But how are you now?’

‘I will survive this, I am not just sure if my marriage will.’

He raises an eyebrow

‘So your husband doesn’t know?’

I shake my head.

‘Wow.’ He says standing up

‘And what would you like for me to do? Don’t you think he has every right to know? Shouldn’t he be the one helping you through this situation?’

‘I didn’t come here to be judged Isaac, I just want you to help me with getting pregnant. We could use a sperm donor, I don’t have to know who he is nor does he have to know where his sperms are going. I am willing to pay anything for this whole process to go as smoothly as possible.’

‘And you had to come to me?’

‘I still trust you and I know this will not leave this room, unless I am mistaken.’

‘I am not promising you anything, but I will see what I can do.’ He says

..

I think I don’t have any more tears left to cry, learning that your life is a lie is one thing but then finding out the details of everything is another. I am not sure if I hate my mother for the decisions she made or I am grateful to her because somehow I was born and there was nothing I can do about it right now.

I look at VK who is still seated across from where I am, I can see that he is still very tired but trying to be strong for me.

‘I am sorry you had to find out the way you have.’

I laugh.

‘Do you know that my parents told me I came later than I should I? That they were scared I wasn’t going to come at all?’

‘I guess that explains the whole thing, your mother knew the truth. It’s your father that was in the dark.’

‘But what I don’t understand is how Isaac is my father, as it stands she asked him to help but not that he should be the sperm donor right?’

‘I guess now we know that she didn’t necessary cheat on her husband.’

I shake my head

‘Cheating is not just sleeping with another person, cheating is hiding information from your partner, cheating is doing things that you know they will never be okay once they find out. It’s a pity she is not here to explain her side of the story, but all I know is that she cheated on dad. And he didn’t deserve all this.’

VK stands up.

‘I am sorry about all this mess, God knows I have never met anyone with a story as messed up as yours. And I am saying this in the kindest way possible, but you need to get to the bottom of all this because if this is not sorted out I am afraid your generation to come will suffer the same pain that you have.’

‘Thank you for everything.’ I say in the most sincere voice

‘You have outdone yourself VK and I will forever be grateful.’

‘It’s the least I could do after the way I treated you, I know it doesn’t make up for the mess but I sure hope it makes you feel better.’

I stand up too.

‘I am not sure I will be seeing you again.’ I say

‘I know, I can only wish you the best in everything you do.’

‘You too VK.’ I say and watch as he walks out of the house

Once he has gone I lock myself inside and sigh heavily holding back all the emotions I have within me, from everything I have read the only conclusion I can make from all this is that uncle Mphatso has never been totally over everything from the past and a part of him still wanted to make his brother pay for things he had no control over. I call dad and ask to see him, there are some things that I need to clear out with him. He tells me he is home so I prepare myself and head there. In about thirty minutes I am parked next to him in the yard, I have to take several deep breathes before facing him because I know I am about to trek on grounds I might never recover from.

After composing myself but still feeling emotional, I walk into the house. He is in the living room with Aunt Ivy, I wonder what she is doing here anyway.

‘Hai.’ I say to her

‘How are you Kasweka?’

‘Fine thank you, can I talk to my dad.’

She looks at him as if seeking approval.

‘I will see you later Ivy.’ He tells her

‘Sure.’ She responds standing up

Once she has left, I focus back to him.

‘Why does the air in here feel heavy?’ he teases with a smile on his face

I chuckle

‘I wanted to talk to you about something.’

‘From the way you walked in, I figured.’

‘You knew that I wasn’t yours from way back, why didn’t you confront mum?’

He puts the newspaper he was reading down

‘You knew your brother was still playing you and yet you have kept quiet all these years, all for what?’

‘I see you have finally put the pieces together.’ He says and I swallow hard, I was hoping all this would turn out to be a lie, I was hoping when my mind started putting the pieces together he would look me in the eye and tell me that everything was a lie. That he was my father, the man I have always known and there was nothing that anyone could say or do that would change that.

..

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Winnie

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