Pedigree

The tapping on my window startles me, I didn’t think I would cry after my call with Nelson but here I am all soaked in my tears when I should be driving home and getting my work done.

It’s a face I can’t recognise.

I don’t even bother wiping my face before pulling the window down.

‘What?’ I ask

‘You have blocked me.’ The man says

I look through my wind shield and notice that I have truly blocked someone, I don’t even bother apologising. I am too broken to even think of doing that so I just start my car and drive off.

Instead of driving home first, I go to my usual liquor store and order a bottle of wine.

Once home I get into my pajamas and get the wine which I start drinking from the bottle. The tears start falling again, how am I supposed to continue with my life like this? Nelson was literally the only friend I had and the people I know are the ones he does too and he is the out going one so if they have to pick they will definitely pick him.

I continue to cry, so much because it hurts and I don’t know where I went wrong.

I go online just to see if there is a friend I can talk to but weirdly I have been removed from a group that Nelson and I were in together with our friends so I decide to go view status and I am surprised to find they are all congratulating Nelson. I view some more status just to see what is happening until I find one where a photo of him has been posted, he is facing the camera with a woman that has her back to it but the hand she puts on his chest shows a cushion cut diamond ring on her ring finger.

I put the bottle of wine down thinking I haven’t seen the right thing or maybe I am just drunk.

I zoom on the photo and it is my Nelson with another lady, I let that status slide and there he is on his knees at Chaminuka Resort asking the lady to marry him, she is still not very clear in all the photos it’s like the camera person was purposely hiding her face. I put the phone down and more tears fall, how could Nelson do this to me? The ring she is wearing is the same type of ring I have been telling him about for years and he went and engaged her at a place I wanted our engagement to happen, and the same decor I wanted? And to be removed from a group where all our friends are? Does it mean that they all know what’s happening? How long did they know about him and this lady and none of them could tell me?

It hurts, so bad tears keep falling I have even stopped wiping them.

I pick my phone again when notifications start coming in, there are tags from people on Facebook and Instagram.

I open it and receive a shocker, there are photos of a Chilanga Mulilo in Zambian Weddings and Kitchen parties. People are tagging me and asking to confirm if it’s me in the pictures because again the lady’s face is not showing, some are even arguing saying she has a fuller behind whilst I am not like that.

When did all this happen? I thought the engagement photos were a shocker but to see Chilanga Mulilo photos? What will I see next? His wedding photos? Or even honey moon photos? I have been talking to Nelson every day, we haven’t seen each other in a while because of my busy schedule but he too has been busy, he was just made partner at the firm and we planned on doing a getaway on our fifth anniversary which is two months from now.

‘Nelson.’ I cry holding my tummy

I have never known how to handle pain so well, in fact I have always considered myself blessed not knowing heart breaks because all the years I have been with him nothing has gone wrong. How am I supposed to move on from all this? I was at his graduation ceremony and he was at mine, when his parents died in a road accident I played front role making sure things were in place, when my mother died he was there with me. My dad takes him like his child, they have this good relationship that even I admire. He has seen me at my worst, has seen me mess my beddings with menses, he has nursed me back to health, our love was tested with pregnancy scares and girls and men throwing themselves at us, men from nowhere threatening him to stay away from me and vice versa. We stood by each other even when we didn’t have any money, we both walked to work, sacrificed whatever money we had to be happy and now that we are both doing fine in our careers and had started to afford the life we wanted I thought this was it. I was so sure we were going to settle down and have a life together.

My door unlocks, only Nelson has a key to my place. I look up and my teary eyes meet his.

‘Sweka.’

I open my mouth to speak but I can’t, I am numb.

‘Sweka I didn’t plan for this.’

I look at him and my life comes flashing before my eyes.

‘Leave.’ I finally manage to say

‘I am not going anywhere until I explain myself, you need closure.’

‘After dating me for four years going into five and the only thing I get to walk out with is closure?’ I ask

‘Sweka I didn’t mean for you to find out like this.’

‘Nel you have given her everything I wanted, everything! This is how I wanted to announce my marriage, you knew I said I wanted to get my ring on a Wednesday, have the Chilanga Mulilo on a Thursday, Friday Morning do Civic Center and Church blessing and in the evening post photos. We were going to have the nuptial celebration on Saturday. This was my dream Nelson, I wanted that.’

He looks down and I notice the wedding band on his finger.

‘You efing went ahead and gave that life to another woman yes?’

‘Sweka.’

‘Leave.’

‘Sweka.’

‘You know how acrimony ended, leave.’ I say wiping the tears angrily

He puts a card on the couch, I open it.

‘You went and married one of my bosses Nelson?’ I ask all my energy leaving me

..

Your Friend and Author

Winnie

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