Chapter [31]
"N-Nanay..." I immediately heard the nervousness on Terenz's voice.
I looked at him and cupped his face para muli siyang tumingin sa aking gawi. I pressed his cheeks so hard that gave him a hard time to speak. Mababaw akong natawa. "Go inside your room and sleep now," utos ko.
"P-Pero-"
Hindi ko na siya hinayaan pang bumaling muli kay Nana at tinulak na siya papasok sa kaniyang kwarto. He looked so confused and worried and I didn't like that.
"Sige na, matulog ka na. I'll talk with nana." I saw him hesitate, pero natango rin paglaon. "May utang ka pang isang kiss sa akin."
Marahan kong sinara ang pinto ng kaniyang kwarto. His shocked face was what lingered in my mind. So cute.
Humarap ako kay Nana, ang seryoso niya kaagad na tingin ang sumalubong sa akin. I sighed and run my other hand on my hair. Lumapit ako sa kaniya. I pouted my lips like I always do para hindi mapagsabihan, but I guess, that's not effective right now.
"Ayaw kong makarating ito sa Daddy mo, Pancho Kit. Alam mo naman na inaanak din ng ama mo iyang si Terenz at tinutulungan ang pamilya nila."
Damn. She's pissed alright. I understand why, pero ayaw tanggapin ng aking utak.
"Na, I was rude and hard to him before, but now I am treating him with care. Nakikita mo naman iyon, di ba? Isa pa, I am helping him study, too. So why are you against it now? Iyan din naman ang gusto mo noon pa," I frustratingly said. "Hindi iyan ang punto rito, apo. Oo at natutuwa ako na maayos na ang pakitutungo mo sa bata na iyon, pero bakit nga ba? Ipapaalala ko lamang sa iyo na hindi kasama sa trabaho niya ang maging salbabida mo."
I was shock. Literal na nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa huling sinabi ni Nana. That hit hard, because she made her point.
Alright, at first I saw Terenz in another light. After my heart got broke, he's always there for me. Even if I treated him harshly before, he stayed. Kung kaya kumapit ako roon, but now, it's different. Ang pagpasya ko na suportahan siya sa pag- aaral niya at ang pakitutungo ko sa kaniya lately, it's not because of a broken heart anymore. Hindi rin iyon dala ng utang na loob or guilt, I decided it all thinking of Terenz. Nothing more, nothing less.
But I wouldn't blame nana kung iyon ang naiisip niya.
"Na, this is all genuine. I was hurt, alright. Badly hurt. Yes, I needed someone and Terenz was that someone near me. Kumapit ako sa kabaitan niya para makalimot sa sakit, but now, wala nang halo na ganoon. I won't force you to believe me, but just trust me," I seriously said.
Umiling siya sa harap ko, halatang hindi pa rin kumbinsido. I understand. Pero ipapakita ko kay Nana na mali siya, hindi na ganoon iyon.
"Ewan ko, apo. Hindi ko naman hawak ang kung ano ang nasa isip mo. Pero sana walang masaktan kahit sino man sa inyong dalawa. Sigurado rin ako na may nahahalata ka sa batang iyon dahil ako, nakikita ko."
That's her last statement before she left me there. I knew that. I... kept denying it in myself, but I always saw how Terenz looked at me lately. Actually, just after me and Ellie broke up.
I got back at my room, took a cold shower before going to bed. Ang kaisipan ay naglayag sa mga bagay-bagay. Lalo na kay Terenz.
After what happened with us that night, nagsimula na siyang sumiksik sa utak ko. I was drunk, lost, and heartbroken. But I got conscious with him. Nakikita ko minsan ang sarili ko sa opisina, spacing out, remembering the night we shared. The way he called my name while withering below me, his heat, his lips... napalunok ako. Nanatili lahat iyon sa utak ko and it wouldn't stop! To be honest, hindi na dumaraan si Ellie sa utak ko lately dahil kay Terenz. What did you do to me?
Fuck, I think if I go further I'll get hard.
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Ipinikit ko ang aking mga mata, naalala ang eksena kanina. I'm still pissed, just like when I discovered Axel texting him. I wanted to devour him earlier dahil hindi ko alam kung bakit naiinis ako kung may ibang nakapapansin sa kaniya.
I... Terenz got me curious the first time. Inaamin ko na matagal na niyang nakuha ang atensiyon ko, pero dahil mahal na mahal ko si Ellie, hanggang doon lang 'yun. But lately, I didn't know anymore.
Every move he made gusto kong kita at alam ko. When someone got his attention or someone wanted his attention, I'm easily pissed. Noong minaliit siya sa harap ko ng isa kong staff, gusto ko manapak kahit na ganoon din ako sa kaniya dati. When he stared at me, I'm beyond happy. Gusto ko ako lang. Sa'kin lang. It's making me nervous actually. Hindi first time sa akin 'to, but why did it feel like that?
Who was that man earlier anyway? I didn't like the way he stared at Terenz.
"Hm, mag-aaral ka rin ba, Sir?"
Mabilis kong na-exit ang tab ng mga recipe na masaya kong tinitignan kanina bago ako inantala ni Maia - my secretary. I'm too engrossed with it thinking of sharing it with Terenz for his study, tapos ako ang unang makatitikim. I couldn't wait. "It's for Terenz," tipid kong sabi, nagpatay malisya.
Maia looked at me with a hint of malicious in her face. She's obviously teasing me!
"Alam mo, Sir. Nitong mga nakaraang buwan nag-alala talaga ako kasi para kang walang kabuhay-buhay, pero lately mas blooming ka pa yata sa akin. Araw-araw kang good mood. Bakit kaya?"
I didn't listen to her teases. Tinignan ko ang mga papeles sa aking harap na sa katotohanan ay kanina ko pang natapos. It's already my out, too.
Why was Terenz not texting yet? Sunduin ko na kaya siya?
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And speaking of the devil, my phone vibrated. Aligaga kong kinuha iyon, nagmamadali. When I saw his text, hindi na ako nag-aksaya pa ng oras. Nagulat pa si Maia sa pagmamadali ko pero hindi ko na siya pinansin.
Nagmaneho ako na iyon na yata ang pinakamabilis kong maneho na ginawa. I only slowed down nang malapit na sa university kung nasaan siya. I was in the fucking good mood not until I saw him in the gate, talking with a foreigner looking guy.
Who the hell? My jaw clenched at the sight. Bakit sila magkasama? Why was he talking with Terenz? It's pissing!
Bumaba ako ng kotse, malakas ang pagkasara ng pinto. Agad akong namataan ni Terenz habang ang lalaking kausap ay nakatalikod sa gawi ko. Kaagad na nagpanik si Terenz pagkakita sa akin. Hey, that guy's mine, foreigner dude.
"S-Sir Pancho..."
I never left my sight at him. Ayaw kong walain din niya ang titig niya sa akin at muling ibalik sa lalaki na iyon.
Nang magtagpo ang tingin namin ng lalaki ay mas lalo akong nainis! He smirked at me! Terenz was not aware, but the guy smelled like threat. He's up for Terenz, I could feel it.
And I wouldn't let him take Terenz away at my side. Nauna siya sa akin.
My heart was broken so badly by the guy who I though would be with me forever. I was then scared of love. Iiwan lang din ako sa huli. Kaya nakatatakot magmahal. That's why I am afraid... again.
Because right now, something's starting with my heart because of Terenz. And it's uncontrolable, so strong that myself doesn't know how to stop it. Since when was this pauper got his way in my heart? Parang kahapon lang, Ellie was the one who holds it. Why this fast? Is that even possible? Kaya ba talaga ng isang tao na magkagusto sa isang tao ng ganito kabilis? Kahit ako kinakabahan sa damdamin na ito. It's a first time! Because with Ellie, everything was slow and careful. Why this one with Terenz was so fast... and wild?
How did you manage take me in a heartbeat, Terenz Dimagiba?