Our Fault (Culpable Book 3)

I left my father’s house and went to one of the bars on the pier. In that weather, I was sure they’d be empty, and that was good; I needed to be alone right then.

I hadn’t expected my father’s approval when I told him what I was planning to do with the company, but I also hadn’t expected him to give me shit about it. Since I’d been in charge of the company, I’d attended lots of meetings, seen lots of graphs, done lots of calculations, and I’d realized there were numerous small companies under the corporate umbrella that should have been liquidated long ago. They weren’t making money, and they were causing problems. At first, no one agreed with my idea of selling them and using the money to open a new firm with a different focus and a more modern vision. Most of the Leister companies were fine; we had some of the best managers in the country working for us, which I knew because I’d had to visit them to make sure they were operating according to our standards. After months of work and trying to persuade the board, we had decided to off-load our dead weight. That meant downsizing, but it also freed me to open a new marketing and telecommunications company that would bring Leister enterprises into previously unexplored sectors.

It was a hard choice, but it was the right one, and I couldn’t believe my father didn’t trust me on this. He’d even warned me I’d drag the firm into bankruptcy. I could handle the board, but that was easy; I was the boss. My father was a whole different story. And the fact that Noah had been there watching had just made matters worse.

I ordered a whiskey and drank it in one gulp. That stupid Thanksgiving lunch had been the worst idea ever.

I paid and decided to go back. I shouldn’t have left in the first place; I shouldn’t have left Mad there, but even if I hated to admit it, I knew Noah would take care of her, and my sister would be fine. Of all the people in my life, including my father, the one person I trusted her with was Noah.

Noah… I didn’t know if our truce had been a mistake. It was much easier to ignore my feelings for her when I was angry. Talking with her the way we had today, like adults, was dangerous.

Sometimes…more often than I wanted to admit aloud…I imagined myself forgiving her, forgetting everything that had happened, everything we had done to each other, and I tried to visualize what our life would be like now. But when I did, the reason why we’d broken up returned to torment me, and everything vanished except for the hate I’d gotten so used to feeling in that past year.

Fucking Noah… Damn her for ruining everything!

When I got back to my father’s house, I saw it was much later than I had guessed. The lights were low, and the whole house was silent. From the vestibule, I could see a soft glow coming from the living room.

I took off my jacket, dropped my keys in the entryway, and walked in. Sitting on the ground, leaning back against the sofa, was Noah. She had changed into a snug sweatshirt, had pulled back her hair, and had put on her glasses. She was immersed in her reading and had several open books scattered all around her. I saw the fire in the fireplace was reduced to embers.

“What are you doing?” I asked quietly.

She twitched but waited to respond until I had come up beside her and picked up the book she had between her legs.

Intellectual Property Law, vol. I.

“Studying,” she responded coolly.

I tried to analyze her expression. I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable in my presence. I knew she had put up with me earlier for Maddie’s sake, and the best thing would probably be for us to spend as little time as possible together, but right then, for some reason, I needed Noah to be Noah.

“Is it giving you a hard time?” I asked, turning around to lay some wood on the fire, then bending over, blowing in the center to bring up the flames. Noah had tried, but the logs weren’t close enough together, and so the wood she’d put in there was charred on the edges but hadn’t caught fire and warmed the room. Once the flames were crackling and we were cozy, I turned around, rubbed my hands together, and looked at her. She’d been watching me closely.

Her cheeks were flushed. It wasn’t even cold enough for a fire, but Noah was always chilly. That winter we’d spent together, she would curl up next to me under the sheets and warm her frozen feet on my skin. I was the opposite; I was always hot, at least when she was around.

“You could say that,” she said, looking around at her books. “By the way, Maddie fell asleep on my bed, in case you go upstairs and wonder where she is.”

I nodded and sat on the sofa next to her, but not so close that we couldn’t look at each other. “Thanks for taking care of her,” I said, trying to sound formal.

Noah’s attitude was that of a person confronted by a large dog that might be sweet or might bare its teeth and go for the throat.

“It’s fine. Will’s the one who got her into her pajamas and read her a story. They tried to get her to sleep in her new room, but she said no, she wanted to sleep with me. She’s been asking about you. You really shouldn’t have left.”

Her lips had distracted me as she spoke, but I needed to excuse myself after this last remark. “I had to think,” I said. Just then, I noticed something that had escaped my attention before: on her left cheek, near her eye, was a whitish scar, straight, like a cut. “What is that?” I asked, surprising her when I reached out and grabbed her chin to get a better look.

What the hell?

She quivered and pulled away. “Nothing,” she said, turning back to her book.

“If it were nothing, it wouldn’t be there. What the hell happened?”

“I fell,” she said, shrugging.

“You fell? Where? You didn’t have that scar the last time I saw you.” Or did she? I wasn’t sure; I hadn’t been in my right mind the last time I’d seen her.

Noah closed her book and faced me, starting to get exasperated. “It’s been there for six months, so yeah, I had it the last time I saw you. I fell riding a motorbike. It was no big deal, but they had to give me stitches.”

“Since when do you have a motorcycle?!” I didn’t know why I was suddenly so pissed. I’d been fine, even relaxed when I’d come in. I was happy to walk in and find her there, but now…now, dammit, I wanted to break something.

“It wasn’t mine; it was a friend’s. Why are you acting like that?”

I stood and turned around. I was so mad, I couldn’t help yelling the first thing that came into my head. “Only a fool would go around on a bike. Most deadly accidents on the road happen because of someone on a goddamned motorcycle!”

Noah got up, her lips pursed, dropping her book on the sofa. “You have a motorcycle!”

“I’m not you; I don’t get into accidents.”

“So you mean to say I’m a fool?”

“Just stay off the motorcycles, that’s all I’m asking,” I replied, trying to calm down. Noah had had an accident, a fucking accident, and it had been months ago… Where had I been?

Far away… Very far away.

Noah grabbed her books. “Too bad you don’t get to order me around anymore, huh, Nick?”

As she walked off, I had a bitter taste in my mouth.