Nadir

I have been pacing up and about in the house for the past hour now. Each time I try to sit I find myself standing up because all this is too much to handle. God knows I could have done something to prevent all this but because my principle has been to let people deal with their errors here I am.

I get into my car and drive to Joshua’s house. He lives three streets away from mine so I get there in no time. I notice both his car and Sheena’s in the car park, her engine is running. When I park she rolls down a window.

‘Good morning.’

‘Is Joshua in?’ I ask ignoring the greeting. We have never been friends, I don’t like how my brother has treated her the seven years that they have been married but when she decided to drag my name in the mud that was it.

‘Yes he is.’

I walk to the house and don’t bother knocking. I enter and lock the door from inside making sure to leave the key in the door hole in case someone tries to open from outside. I walk up to him and punch him in the face without thinking twice. Just before he can compose himself, I punch him again and this time I hear the sound of his nose breaking.

‘What’s wrong with you?’ he asks when I move away.

He is holding his bleeding nose

‘I warned you about all this, I warned you!’ I say angrily.

‘What right do you have to come into my house and tell me how to run my affairs? Both Nandy and I are adults and knew what we were doing!’

‘Are you listening to yourself? Joshua you have ruined that woman’s life, her children.’ I pause feeling tears coming to my eyes.

‘Your children are still cold in the morgue and you are here living like nothing has happened? How evil can you be?’ I say my tears finally falling.

‘Life happens so does death. It’s unfortunate that the children had to die but Sheena is pregnant and she is my legal wife, I need to concentrate on her.’

Words fail me. Tears fall controllably.

‘When did you become like this Joshua? The night we met Nandy and Jackie I told you I didn’t want you anywhere near her. You slept with her best friend that night, I warned you.’

‘Emmanuel leave my house.’

‘You are going to do this again huh? Walk into someone’s life, ruin it and walk away like nothing happened. You have ruined your wife’s life with everything you have put her through and now Nandy has been added to the list, don’t you have a heart? Don’t you care?’

‘I said leave. I don’t owe you an explanation, you had not one but so many chances to tell Nandy the truth but you didn’t.’

‘Joshua you are my brother! My loyalty lies with you! My loyalty and allegiance is with you. I thought you would come around and eventually tell her the truth. It didn’t have to go this far you know. She will never recover from this. I know deep down you feel bad about this, I know there is no explanation that will ever make her feel better but please give her closure. Let her know why you did what you did. You owe her that much.’

I wipe away my tears seeing that we are not going anywhere with this. I unlock the door and go to the car, Sheena’s window is still rolled down.

‘I hope this is the last time you come here to talk about Nandy, all of you had a role to play in all this. You could have told her the truth but you know that family comes first. Which is why Joshua will put his family first from today onwards, me and our unborn child.’

I get into the car wordlessly. I text Martha to find out where they are and she informs me they have just left home for the cemetery. I drive there as fast as I can so that I at least make it for the ceremony.

..

The Pastor is preaching about life and death, telling us how it is God’s will that things have happened the way they have. He reads some scriptures trying to comfort me but I am feeling way too many emotions. I just continuously stare at the grave. When he is done he asks if either Martha or me would like to say a word but we both say no. The two graves have been dug side by side. The hospital advised that they would just burn the bodies but Joshua and I were against it. We were going to mourn our children like human beings because they happened. We were not just going to throw them in the flame like that. I am brought out of my reverie when Martha taps my hand gently, they have been laid in the ground and now we have to put wreaths on the soil. I shake my head, refusing to believe all this.

‘You have to.’ Martha says. She is really trying to stay strong for me but it is all too much.

‘I can’t.’ I say.

‘We can.’ Ems says holding two big pumpkins and that makes me break down into a wail.

‘It wasn’t supposed to end like this.’ I cry as he holds me.

‘It wasn’t supposed to end. They were flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone. These were supposed to be my own, I was going to die for them. I was going to give up my life for them.’ I cry and the pain comes from the pits of my stomach.

‘Breathe.’ He says rubbing my back.

‘Pumpkin breathe.’ He pleads his voice breaking.

I look at him, realization hitting me.

‘You knew.’

‘Nandy.’ Martha pleads coming forward. I know that look.

‘You both knew?’ I cry and it is more of a statement than a question

‘Leave me alone!’

‘Nandy.’

‘Leave me alone!’ I say and the people holding ceremonies in the cemetery look at us but I don’t care.

I pick up the pumpkins and throw them at Ems, one breaks as it hits him, the other one lands on the ground.

‘You knew.’ I cry the little strength I had leaving me.

‘I am not leaving.’ He says coming to hold me down and I cry, so hard I feel life leaving me.

..

Kwenje’s Girl

Winnie

🙇🏾‍♀️