Chapter 73 I am really sorry
Ashutosh:
I logged out from the Face book as I didn't want to ask her anything. I didn't know what happened exactly. However, I was sure something went wrong. Otherwise, Rudrani wouldn't lose her charm. I should find what went wrong and how did that happen before saying anything to Rudrani.
I knew well this is very sensitive issue. If I lose my patience now, I can never gain forgiveness from Rudrani ever, if she didn't do anything wrong. So, I must handle it carefully.
"Ashu, is the dinner ready?" Rudrani asked again.
"Yes!" I said.
"I will set the table," Rudrani said and I nodded.
After the dinner, I found Rudrani in deep thinking.
"What happened, my love? Is anything bothering you?" I asked and she shook her head.
"If you were thinking about the results, that's okay. You didn't break my trust. Maybe you have a problem with the subjects. I will help you. Chill now," I said to her.
"I will leave to India, Ashu. I will do my Masters there in India. You complete the Masters here," Rudrani said.
"What are you talking? Rudrani, if you fail, it doesn't mean you should give up. You should rectify your mistake and win it again. Don't take too much stress," I said and pulled her to hug.
But, she got away from me. I looked at her confused.
"I didn't deserve your love, Ashu. I am not a right person for you," Rudrani said in choked tone.
"I love you, sweety. You are perfect to me," I said.
"I... I.. Misused the.. Freedom you gave to me," Rudrani said hugging me.
I caressed her long hairs and hugged her tight. I understood that the video was true with her words. My left hand clenched into a fist with anger, but I controlled myself.
"Tell me what had happened," I said.
"I became close to five classmates. There are two girls and three boys. We all used to enjoy a lot going out everyday. I didn't do any group study. We just enjoyed. On that day, we went for shopping and to a pub. There, intentionally I tasted the wine. I danced with my friend and then, I took two more pegs. I lost my control. I pulled one of my friends into a room and kissed him thinking it's you in that unconscious state. He touched me sensually and we had a deep kiss. After that, we were about to get intimate but suddenly I realised it's not your touch. I pushed him away and came out of the room. I requested my friend to drop me and she handed me over to you.
That day, after waking up I recalled everything. I had no guts to tell you the truth at that time. I was unable to study as the incident was replayed in my mind several times. I am really sorry, Ashu. Please forgive me. Give me any punishment but don't hate me. I am sorry," Rudrani said holding my hands and crying keeping her head on my hands.
I didn't speak anything. Rudrani kissed someone. She was about to get intimate with someone. Didn't she remember my love or me while kissing him? How could she realise my touch all of a sudden after sharing a deep kiss?
I took off my hands from her grip. Rudrani looked at me with tears.
"Ashu, please I am sorry," Rudrani said again.
I didn't talk to her and slept silently. In the morning, I ignored her completely. I didn't have food prepared by her. In the college she took her seat beside me and I didn't object. I had the lunch in the cateen. I was about to go to my class but stopped seeing Rudrani with that fellow. Rudrani stood so close to him keeping her hands on his shoulders. To be precise, they were in each other's arms.
I went there and he left her immediately.
"What is this, Rudrani? You are married and your husband loves you a lot. How can you behave like this with me? How can you propose me? It's wrong, Rudrani. I can't accept this," that fellow said to Rudrani. Rudrani looked at me shocked.
"Ashu, no, I didn't propose....," Rudrani tried to explain me.
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"What were you doing here? You should be in the class, right?" I asked glaring at her.
"I was searching you but......," Rudrani said and I cut her off.
"Enough. Go to the class now," I said.
"Ashu, please trust me," Rudrani said.
"Can't you hear what I said? Go to your class right now," I said in a dangerous tone.
Rudrani left from there wiping her tears. I looked at that idiot.
"Ashu, how did you marry such a girl? She proposed me and tried to seduce me. She is such a bitch," He said and a punch landed on his mouth stopping him from speaking another word about my wife. "Ashu, I will complain against you to the principal," he warned me.
"All the best! Do it as soon as possible," I said recklessly.
"Look Mr whatever, keep your mouth in control. I can't spare even a single word against my wife. I didn't know what happened that day in the pub, but I am sure that Rudrani never do wrong. Definitely it was your plan to trap her and make her bad in my eyes. If you try to hurt Rudrani one more time, I don't hesitate to kill you. Stay away from her," I warned him and left to the class room.
Rudrani looked at me and tried to speak. But, the professor started the class and Rudrani became calm. After the class, I dropped Rudrani at home. I thought to go out and Rudrani came to me hurriedly.
"What do you want?" I asked her keeping my angry expressions alive.
"Are you going out?" Rudrani asked me.
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"Should I take your permission for that?" I said.
"Sorry! When will you be back?"
"Did I ask this to you anytime?" I asked her.
"Can I accompany you?"
"No need! Who will do the work at home? Keep the dinner ready for me by the time I return," I said.
"You never left me alone at home anytime from the day we came to the US," Rudrani said.
I didn't leave her alone. I always used to take her with me wherever I go. I took care not to make her feel lonely even for few hours. I didn't ask her to accompany me because I was going to that pub to know what had happened that day exactly.
"You ruined it, Rudrani. You ruined everything which we had between us," I said.
"I love you, Ashu," Rudrani said looking into my eyes.
I knew it, Rudrani.
I knew that Rudrani loves me a lot. That's the reason I was confused how she kissed that guy. Rudrani was definitely not a girl who moves close with every guy or betrays her husband. My heart said Rudrani was innocent. I decided to find out the truth and remove the guilt from her heart.
"We will talk when I return home. I want you to prepare notes too for today's topics along with the dinner. I will check it after coming back. If you fail in the exam this time, I wouldn't take it easily as I did this time."
I gave her a warning to stop her thinking about me. I wanted her to focus on study, so that she would forget all this. Somehow, I should make her compete with me. I should hit the point where Rudrani gets angry at me and challenges me. That's the only way to make her stop thinking about what had happened and couldn't be changed.