Love is Weakness. [1]

Conan.

Her smell, I have loved her smell since that night. The way she pet my wolf, the way she whispered to it, the way she appreciated his beauty. It makes my heart jump, it clouds my mind, my judgement and it triggers my love, our band, our mate. Before I get lost in it I decide to go upstairs and switch back. I never thought it would be this hard. I never thought I’d find my Luna, but I thought once I did I would just walk away. It’s not as easy as that not only because of the curse that I will die without her, but also because of how sweet and beautiful she is. In another life time I might have been with her. But this is now and here. I cannot give into the temptation. A Luna isn’t a blessing but a curse. If I was just an Omega it would be different, but I am not. I am the Alpha and my pack is the most important thing in my life, especially since I fought so hard for it.

Once I’m in my bedroom I change back. I put on a nice black jeans that has always looked good on me, above that I put the t-shirt she wore. Looking in the mirror one last time I grin at myself. Oh no, that was creepy. Let’s just keep up with the serious face. I splash some water in my hair and decide to go downstairs. Stacia is still standing at the bottom of the stairs. Once she sees me she smiles the most beautiful smile I have ever seen in my life. Her scent so addictive, her eyes to get lost in and her.. Hold up, I need to calm down. I remove the smile from my own face and walk downstairs looking seriously. Stacia is confused for a second but doesn’t let me throw her off.

‘I have been here for 15 minutes. Where is my beautiful.. uhm your wolf?’ she asks flustered.

I smile again, she loves my wolf. The way her eyes twinkled when she said mine spoke a thousand words.

‘He is upstairs. You’ll have to excuse him, he is tired. And as you have found out the last time you were here he always sleeps on the bed.’

Stacia pouts but doesn’t respond back. I gesture for her to walk ahead to the living room, while I’m thinking about what to say. I need a damn good reason to keep her here AND have her come back every three days. For a moment I was my wolf was in charge again so we could cuddle, but I know I have to get over this and find a solution to this problem. If anyone would kidnap me or if I need to take a business trip to another pack, would I have to take her? So many thoughts go through my mind that I don’t hear Stacia talking to me untill she slaps me on the shoulder. My eyes darken and desire overcomes me. I love this rough side of her, how she lets her politeness go and just shows herself. Her true self.

‘I’m sorry, but you didn’t hear me. What were you talking about? Oh I mean, excuse me, that’s not really any of my business. Duncan told me you had to speak with me, but you were too sick to come and get me. You don’t look so sick, is it serious?’

I also love how she rambles when she accidently slips her polite side. Okay, I really need to chill out. I don’t know what’s happening to me, I feel like a pup. A pup that’s chasing a butterfly. I don’t need a damn butterfly, I need safety.

‘Yes, it is serious indeed. The truth is, I have to go see some doctors. I have made the appointments, but my wolf doesn’t like anybody but you it seems. So I am sorry to ask this of you, but while I visit the doctors could you look out for him?’ I say trying to sound as sincere as possible. I was sick every three days and I did have to see the only doctor who could heal me; her.

Stacia jumps up and claps her hands. ‘YES! ABSOLUTELY! He is so sweet and so beautiful. He has the same colour eyes as yours, my new favorite colour.’ The moment the words escape her she puts a hand against her mouth. ‘Oh jeez, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant that it would be an honour to take care of such a beautiful and kind animal. I hope you will find the doctor you need and will recover quickly. I’m so sorry.’

I wave her apology away. She loved my wolf! She wanted to him again, see me again.

I love her too, I want her to stay with me forever. It felt so good being touched by her. She is the most angelic human I have ever seen.

‘Thank you. I will pay you, ofcourse.’ I get up to go and grab some pen and paper. ‘Write down your email, I will email you the appointments I have and a list of things that Olcan needs.’

‘I don’t want to be payed. I like.. Olcan is it? So I’d happily do it for free.’ she says while writing down her e-mail. ‘Did you get my book?’

‘Yes, I loved it. It was absolutely beautiful but also a little dark. Thank you for your kind gift.’

The more I see her, the more I want her. Without thinking I get up and put out my hand. ‘Thank you for coming here. I will e-mail you tonight.’

Stacia is obviously confused by this sudden goodbye, but I don’t care. I need to get away from here. I need to find out how I break this link. Because if I have to keep doing this for weeks, I don’t know if I can do it. Her scent is driving me crazy, I want to hold her and never let go. I know this is just the Mate link. But I can’t help myself. I need some distance.

Stacia bows her head, but doesn’t take my hand.

‘Goodbye, Conan. And thank you for introducing me to Olcan. He is truly wonderful.’ She turns around and walks away. Before she’s out the door I hear her mutter; weirdass.

I quickly mindlink Duncan to get here immediatly to drive her home. Time to find out how to break the link.

We will be forever alone.

I’m on a plane to see one of the oldest packs known, the Varúlfur pack. I only have three days to come back. I have three days to find my answer before I have to get back and see Anastacia. I can't see her again, I really can't. It'll hurt her if I cancel her "babysitting" Olcan. Maybe if the link is broken we can be friends. I won't have that same connection towards her. Maybe.

The pilot instruct me to put on my seatbelt for landing. Nerves start creeping up on me. What if there is no way? What is I have to accept her as my Luna or die? I can't die, not right now while Eadon is on a war path. I can't have any distractions. I need to have my answers as quickly as possible.

When the plane lands I grab my bags and get out. Underneath the plane stands a car with a woman leaning against it. She has red hair shining in the sun and some badass sunglases on.

'Hey, tough Alpha. Long time no see. Finally found the time to catch up huh?' my old friend Avril says with a playful smile. I quickly run down the stairs, drop my bags and go pick her up. I spin her around a couple of times, all while she is trying to get free. 'Damn, I didn't like that as a kid and I still like it now, Conan. Behave your damn self.' she says with an atittude. However she fails to hide her smile.

'I need to speak with your father. It is urgent, I have to get back as soon as I can. So sorry hun, no catching up this time.' I say to her with an apologic smile. I would love to catch up with her, but I can't leave the pack for too long and I have to be back before I get sick again.

I hope he has no answers so I can keep seeing her. Why don't we just accept her?

I shove my wolf aside. I can't give in to temptation. I can't be like my father.