Love is Weakness. [1]

Conan.

I can smell that she's turned on from where I'm standing. I can't help but smile. She is attracted to me. I grab her hand to take her home. My wolf is trying to break out to take the overhand, but I keep him at bay. I know he wants to mark her, to make her his permanent Mate, to settle the bond. But I'm not sure yet. I don't want to give up everything I have build on my own or to share it. I know things change when I become mated and I'm not sure if I'm ready or ever will be ready. By the way Stacia is walking straight and relaxed next to me I know Kacey has taken away her pain. It makes me a little angry. What if she wants to go now because she doesn't feel guilty anymore? What if she wants to leave me? I need her just a little longer, just when the worst of the pain wears off. Maybe I can mark her and reject her later. When I mark her, there's no going back for her. She has to stay with me. On the other hand, if I don't mark her I need her by my side atleast once in three days, so she won't be able to leave either. Lost in thoughts I didn't realise I'm standing in my living room still holding her hand. She stares up at me in curiousity. Her eyes sparkle beautifully. They're so clear that I almost see myself in them.

'Are you hungry?' she says. My eyes fall to her lips and I stare at them in admiration. She has such pretty lips. They must be wonderful to kiss. I see her neck get a shade of red, so I quickly look up to her face again. I nod to her and let go of her hand. 'Is it okay if I make us something to eat?' she asks me in a polite fake voice. I hate that tone. I wish she would just let herself go with me. I nod again and go sit down on the couch. I hear her walk away and zone out. My thoughts fly back to Avril again, her body covered in blood and her eyes. Then a memory comes to the surface.

'If you're my mate I'm totally gonna throw up on you.' Avril says making a weird face. I roll my eyes at her. As if we could be mates. I love her, but I would kill her within a week.

'If you're my mate I'm gonna jump off a cliff.' I say back, mimicing her face. She gives me a little shove against my shoulder and laughs. 'We're not going to be mates. I don't think you'll have a Mate, you will drive her insane in a week. She will run for the hills and never look back.' I chuckle at her comment, but say nothing back. So we just sit there on a tree hunk staring over the lake. I never thought I would have such a best friend, especially not a girl.

A whistle breaks through my memories and when I look up I see Stacia standing before me fiercly with her hands on her hips. 'Excuse you, I have been calling out for a million times. Food is ready.' she says with a little attitude. I smile to myself, there aren't a lot of people who dare to speak like that to the Alpha. I get up and walk towards the dinner room. The closer I get the more I start to drool. Amazing scents fill my nose, by the time I make it to the dinner room my stomach is growling so loudly I'm sure everyone has heard it. Stacia chuckles and gestures for me to sit down. She fills a plate with an amazing looking steak and some sweet potatoes to the side covered in an unknown sauce to me but it smells delicious. She puts a little bowl next to my plate filled with vegetables and again a sauce I do not know. My wolf howls in my head. We could get used to this.

We went to bed early and when I wake up Stacia isn't laying next to me. I panic for a moment and try to sniff her out. All that hits my nose are amazing smells of food. I take the shortest shower I have ever taken and rush downstairs. When I come into the kitchen Stacia is swinging her hips while singing a song to herself. The floor cracks under my foot and Stacia turns around quickly. There's flower on her face and something green on her chin. I laugh at her. 'What?' she says while brushing her hand across her forehead leaving a purple swipe. I start laughing even louder. Stacia looks at me with her mouth open, which makes it look even funnier. Tears fill my eyes from laughing and my stomach tenses. A blush creeps over Stacia's face while she watches me. I instantly stop laughing and look at her in desire. Damn, this woman is hot. She quickly turns back around and waves over her shoulder with the spatula. 'Go sit down, food will be ready soon.'

I turn around and do as she says, but only because I know I won't be able to keep myself in check if I don't walk away from her. After a few minutes Stacia comes in with two plates. She places both of them in front of me. One is filled with pancakes and blueberries. The other is filled with bread, egg, bacon and some other thing I don't reconize. She walks away to grab her plates and sits down next to me. I cock an eyebrow up at her and she points to my plate. Gesturing me to eat. When I take the first bite I feel like I'm in heaven. The pancakes taste so delicious, they're sweet and puffy. They're perfect, just like I imagine her lips would taste. By the thought I almost choke on my pancake. Stacia says nothing and keeps eating. Holy Goddess, I need to relax.

After breakfast Stacia leaves to catch up with Tiff and I go to the office. It's been long enough since Kacey has ruled things. When I overlook the clientlist I search for a special one. My mind however keeps drifting away to Stacia. What would happen if I ask her to be my Luna? Would she accept? And what would happen if I turn her down? Would she be sad? Heartbroken? I secretely hope she will, it means she cares. My wolf cries in my head at the thought of Stacia being away from us and being hurt. I know the more I stay close to her, the more I want her to stay. Having her in my bed is like heaven and hell at the same time. Especially since we cuddle up before falling asleep. I have never slept so good before and all of my earlier nightmares again. But I know I will never sleep again when I reject her.

An idea forms in my head and I make a few phonecalls. When I'm done I'm smiling to myself. Now she can't leave me untill I allow her to. I feel slightly guilty but shake it off quickly. I can't lose her again, not yet atleast. My wolf is making happy jumps in my head once again. She will stay untill I need her to. And now there's no way out for her.