HUGE X4: A REVERSE HAREM STEPBROTHER ROMANCE (HUGE Series)

For someone who never sleeps well in strange beds, I’m shocked to find that I wake up late after a solid night of sleep in Liam’s.  It’s so comfortable I feel like I slept in a cloud.  I’m so content that it takes a couple of seconds of blurriness for me to remember what happened the day before.

Brad.

Ryan and Matty are back.

Callum and Liam know that they’re in the pictures.

My empty stomach rolls at the thought of what I might have to face today.  Brad may have already made good on his threats.  Whatever Ryan and Matty were hoping to do to stop him from releasing those photos may be too late.

I swing my legs over the side of the bed and look down at my crumpled clothes.  Someone brought the rest of my belongings into the room while I was sleeping so I search for something clean to wear and head to the bathroom to freshen up.

When I’m done, I nervously open the door, unsure of what I’m going to find on the other side.  Will Ryan be angry?  Will they be leaving soon?   I just hate all the uncertainty.

The twins are both in the kitchen, sitting at the counter with steaming mugs of coffee and empty plates in front of them.  Ryan is the first to look up and he nods and smiles.

“Looks like sleeping beauty is up,” he says.  Matty looks up from his phone and smiles too, then his expression changes.

“Why so serious, Bethany?” he asks.

I frown because surely he should know why I’m feeling worried.  “The photos,” I say, clasping my hands together nervously.

Matty gets down from his stool and strides to where I’m standing.  He puts his hands on my upper arms and squeezes reassuringly.  His eyes are so soft and beautiful as he smiles.  “Do you trust us?” he asks.  It doesn’t take me any time to nod because I do.  Even though we haven’t known each other for long, I have so much faith in these men to do the right thing.

“Then you let us deal with this bullshit.”

He cups my cheek as I nod, and for a second I forget that it’s Matty in front of me.  His actions are like Callum’s and Liam’s.  The intensity of his gaze and the touch of his hand against my skin feels familiar.  I close my eyes because there are too many emotions bubbling inside me.

As much as I don’t want to admit it to myself, I miss the twins a lot.  I’m so worried about what Brad is capable of and how it could affect us all.  I’m concerned that Ryan and Matty are going to take on something that will explode in their faces and I don’t want them to be hurt in any way.

Most of all I just feel lonely and I hate myself for it.  I never wanted to be the kind of woman who was needy, but I guess I am.  My body craves affection and comfort in a way that I’m ashamed of because I’m all grown up and I should be able to stand on my own two feet.

I expect Matty to pull away so I can busy myself making coffee and breakfast and pretend that everything is fine.  Then I feel a soft brush on my lips and I open my eyes with a start.

It felt like a kiss but it wasn’t.  It was something almost more erotic.  Matty brushed his thumb across my lips and my heart skipped.  He’s looking at me with half-closed eyes and I know my pupils must be blown wide because I realize now that I want him to kiss me.

His chin has a days’-worth of scruff and his cheeks are a little burned by the sun.  Matty looks rugged, but his eyes and hands are kind.  The perfect combination.

“Bethany,” he says softly, tucking my hair behind my ears.  “I want to kiss you so badly, but it’s not the time.”

I blink because I didn’t expect him to come out and say it.  Being blatant is Ryan’s forte, but it seems like these younger twins have a little more in common than I thought.

“I think she wants to kiss you too,” Ryan says.  When I look at him he’s smiling knowingly.  The Cheshire Cat.  I should be angry at his smugness, but how can I be when he’s only saying what is patently obvious.

The only thing on my mind is how Callum and Liam would feel if they could see me now.

“Your brothers…” I say, looking at the ground in shame.

“..are on a flight here,” Ryan says.

I look up with shock.  “I thought they were going back to Dubai.”

“They have a few more days of vacation but couldn’t just sit on a beach in Jamaica when all of this is going on over here.”

“I…”  I take a step back from Matty.  I can’t believe what was close to happening and how stupid I was about to be.

“I know what you’re thinking, and you don’t need to go there,” Matty says.  “We’re not territorial about that kind of thing.”

I open my mouth to reply but I’m not sure what to say.

I think that he just referred to me as territory.  That feels a little mortifying.

I should be upset at the idea that Callum and Liam would be so blasé about sharing me with their brothers.  I should be, but this is hardly a normal situation where normal standards of behavior apply, is it?

I find myself thinking that it’s nice that these brothers are so in tune with each other.  Siblings can be competitive and I don’t get the feeling that the O’Connell brothers are at all.  Then I feel ridiculous for being so fluffy about something I should be taking more seriously.

Ryan chuckles from his side of the counter.  “I think you’ve broken her brain.”  He stands, picking up his mug and plate and walking them to the sink.  “Callum and Liam are going to get a taxi from the airport while we deal with the current situation.  Will you be here when they arrive?”

I nod because right now I’ve got nothing to do and nowhere to go.  I should still be in Jamaica sunning myself and relaxing.  Instead, I’m here, stressing and feeling a lot like a fish out of water.

“That’s good,” Matty says.

Ryan comes closer, his eyes softer than I’ve ever seen them.  “You don’t need to worry about anything, baby girl,” he says, cupping my cheek.  I want to nuzzle into his hand, like an affection-starved cat but I resist.  “We’re gonna take care of your douchebag ex and be back in time for lunch.  Then he does something that I’m not expecting.  He leans in and kisses my lips so gently it’s like a whisper.  My heart skips fast because it feels so right but I know it’s wrong.

All of this is wrong.

And it gets even more inappropriate when Ryan steps back and Matty does the same thing.  I’ve closed my eyes by this point so I don’t have to look at them.  I know they’ll see the truth right there; that I like what they’re doing and I want it.  Oh, I’m a terrible person.  A deeply sinful person.

And the O’Connell brothers are my temptation.

All four of them.

It feels so wrong I’m almost expecting to get struck down from above.  Then Ryan slaps my ass and they both chuckle, and I’m left standing in the kitchen feeling like a total idiot while they head to their rooms.

I’m not even hungry.  How could I be at a time like this?

I fix myself a glass of water and head back to Liam’s room to hide out.  The front door goes a little while later when I’m in the middle of checking my emails.  There are some new orders that I schedule in for next week and then send some confirmation responses.  Business doesn’t stop for life drama.

I make a call to my accountant to confirm some boring financial stuff.  Then my phone rings.

I look down at the screen nervously; almost expecting it to be Brad, but it’s my sister.

“Oh my god, Bethany,” she says when I pick up.  “I was so worried about you.”

“I’m sorry, sis,” I say.  There is no way I want her to be wasting her honeymoon concerned about me, but I’m not surprised.  Leaving like that without telling her wasn’t fair. “I should have called you to tell you I was getting a flight out, but you were busy and I didn’t want to disturb.”

“Oh my god.  You can disturb me anytime…you know that.”  She sounds exasperated.

“I know…but that doesn’t mean I think I should.”

“So what the hell happened that had you running away?”

“Mom,” I say and Kerry sighs.

“That woman just doesn’t get any easier with age.”

I chuckle even though it’s not really a laughing matter and I’m in no way feeling in a humorous mood.  It’s what Kerry will be expecting me to do and I don’t want her to get a whiff of anything else going on here.

“So what did she do?” Kerry asks.

“She didn’t tell you?”

“No.  Just said you’d gone home early.”

“She humiliated me in front of our soon-to-be-stepbrothers.”

There’s a pause.  “Rewind a second,” she says.  “Stepbrothers?”  There’s another pause as I realize that Kerry has no idea about mom’s wedding plans.

“You mean mom didn’t tell you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kerry says.

“Mom’s getting married,” I say chuckling nervously.  “And let’s just say I think she’s found the perfect match.”

“Married?” she splutters.

“Err yeah. To Liam and Callum’s father, Frank O’Connell.”

“What?!”

I hear Dean’s voice in the background and then Kerry fills him in.  I hear him say ‘what the fuck’ before Kerry comes back on the line.

“So you left because you’re unhappy about the situation or because mom was her usual self?”

I pause because I would usually tell my sister everything but I’m not sure what to say on this occasion.  Especially because Dean is sitting right next to her and it concerns his friends.  I mean, he probably already knows what they get up to but knowing they did that with me is a bit more than I want to share with my new brother-in-law.

“I’m not unhappy she’s getting married.  I’m not even unhappy she’s marrying a man that I think is a bit of an ass because he’ll suit her perfectly.  I’m totally embarrassed about the way she spoke to me in front of practical strangers.”

“But you didn’t have to leave because of that.  The twins won’t care about something like that.”

“I know they won’t…it’s just…”

I pause because I’ve got no idea how to explain without confessing it all.  It’s not that I’m worried that Kerry will be shocked or think badly of me.  We have friends who are happy in polyamorous relationships.  Very happy.  It’s more that I’m struggling to piece it all together in my own mind, let alone be able to articulate it to someone else.

I certainly don’t want to tell her while she’s sitting next to Dean.  Men talk just as much as women!  Maybe now’s not the time, but then again, if I don’t tell her she’s likely to be pissed at me when she eventually finds out.  I decide to bite the bullet.

“Kerry,” I say.  “Can you move away from Dean a little so I can tell you something?”

“Sure.”  She sounds intrigued.  “Just gonna get a bottle of water,” she tells him.  “Do you want anything?”  I hear mumbling in the background and then the sound of her moving.  “I’m heading up to the bar,” she tells me.  “Spit it out then!”

“I did something kinda bad,” I say.

“I knew it,” she squeals and then proceeds to giggle.  “Those boys couldn’t keep their eyes off you at the reception, and I know all about what they’re like from Dean…” She pauses.  “You did do what I think you did.”

“Yes,” I say in a small voice.

“Oh my god…good for you, Bethany!”

I exhale a long breath, feeling so relieved that she’s reacted how I hoped she would.  Kerry knows how hard I’ve had it and how much of a huge step it was for me to go there with Liam and Callum.  “It was pretty amazing,” I say.  “They are amazing.”

“So why the hell did you leave?”

“Because they’re going to be our stepbrothers, Kerry.  And their dad was really angry about it.”

“He knows?” she gasps.

“I guess their preferences aren’t a secret,” I say, blushing.

“Seems like their preference is you, sis.” She giggles.  “Damn girl, you really know how to upstage a woman on her wedding night!”

I laugh. “I’m sure Dean did what he needed to do.”

“You have no idea,” Kerry replies dreamily.  “But let’s not talk about the boring marrieds.  Let’s talk about the hot sex with twin stepbrothers.”

“That’s the problem, though.  As hot as it was, it can’t happen again.  And the fact that Frank knows about it probably means that mom knows too.  How am I ever going to be in the same room with them all?”

“Listen, Bethany.  You’re not related to them.  You’re not married.  You hadn’t taken a vow of chastity.  Can you just chill out for a second?  Anyone who thinks badly of you for having some enjoyable adult time as a single woman just isn’t worth bothering about.” Sᴇaʀch Thᴇ ꜰindNʘvel.ɴet website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

“Including mom?”

“Especially mom.  You know what, Bethany.  We’ve pretended to all get along for such a long time.  We’ve ignored her controlling personality and her abrasive way of communicating, but to be really honest, I’m done.  Dean hates seeing me upset by her.  If I don’t pull away a little, they’re going to end up coming to blows.  I think you need to think about doing the same thing.  Move out of that house. Get your own place.  See her out in public so she’ll have a little thought about making sure her behavior is suitable for an audience, and live your life in a way that is going to make you happy.”

“You really think that?” I ask, shocked that this is how she feels.  For as long as I can remember it has been mostly me with the issue with mom, or so I thought.  Kerry has a way of smiling through difficult situations that made me think she wasn’t as affected.  I guess I was wrong.

“Yeah, I do.  Life is short, sis.  And you’ve had a particularly shitty time recently.  If you like Liam and Callum and they make you feel good, then what’s the harm in enjoying it?”

I think about the potential catastrophe that could be about to detonate if Brad gets his way.  I can’t tell Kerry about that.  She’ll be on a plane home before I can finish the conversation.  There’s no way I’m ruining her honeymoon.

She needs to know where I am, though.  “So, I guess I should tell you that Matty, their brother, offered to let me crash at their apartment so I don’t have to be in mom’s company. That’s where I’m calling from.”

“You’re in their apartment,” she says. “Now?”

“Yeah.  It’s gorgeous.”

“And you’re going to stay there?”

“Just until I can find a place for myself or it gets too uncomfortable.”

“Wow,” she says.  “Talk about throwing yourself in the path of temptation.”

I laugh again.  “Tell me about it. How did one family snag so many great genes?  I mean, it’s hard to look at them, they are all so gorgeous.”

“Do you think they…” She giggles as though she’s embarrassed to even say the next bit.  “Do you think they all share?”

“I think there is a pretty good chance that they do.”

“Oh my goodness,” Kerry mutters.  “That is just too much hotness for a girl to handle.”  She has no idea how right she is.

“You’re a bad influence,” I tell her.

She scoffs.  “Hardly.  Look at me.  Boring married for the second time.”

“Dean is not boring in any way.”

“I know.”  I can hear the smile in her voice and it makes me smile too.  “I don’t know how I did it for a second time, but I struck gold with my baby.  Anyway, speaking of babies, I really need to get back to Dean.  He’s gonna be sending out a search party for me in a minute.”

“Yeah, get back to your honeymoon, girl.  And don’t worry about me.  I’ll muddle through like I always do.”

“Give yourself a bit more credit, sweetie.  You’ve made some good and brave decisions recently.  Who says that what happened here wasn’t one of them.”

“All the rational and sensible people in the world,” I say, thinking of the photos and cringing.

“Yeah, but they’re all dying of boredom in loveless marriages!”  We both laugh and it feels good, despite my undercurrent of worry.

“True. Thanks, Kerry.  For always making me see the funny side of everything and for telling me that I know what I’m doing, even if I don’t really believe it’s the case.”

“You just gotta trust yourself.  Trust your instincts.  You know what, Bethany?  It’s when you doubt yourself that you go wrong.  It’s when you know that something isn’t right in your heart of hearts but you don’t want to rock the boat, or you make someone else’s issues about you.  Believe in your own internal voice and I know you’re going to be fine.”

Tears spring to my eyes because I think that what Kerry just said is about the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.  My sister believes in me.  She believes that I can decide what is right. She believes in me more than I do in myself, but her confidence and faith build mine.  A clarity of understanding washes over me.

Brad was the one with issues.  He was the one who caused problems in our relationship, who undermined my confidence and made me feel bad for things that were not my fault. He was the one who killed our relationship, not me.  If I’d just trusted myself the first time it happened, I would have saved myself so much heartbreak and stopped him from picking at my confidence until he almost unraveled me.  If I’d walked away the first time because his behavior had been out of line and beyond what I would have found acceptable for anyone else to put up with, I never would have gone through the soul-crushing experience.

“I love you, Kerry,” I say, feeling it overflow my heart in a new way.  When you understand that your family and friends see you clearer than you see yourself, it’s amazing.  When they take the steps to help you see the real you again, it’s the best feeling in the world.

“I love you too, sis.”

We say our goodbyes and I rest the phone on the comforter, thinking that maybe I should grab myself something to eat before I start to feel funny from a lack of calories.

That’s when I hear a key in the door.