His Alpha's Guardian

When I was released from the hospital, I refused to return to my house. I, also, refused to return to my room at the pack house. The room that I had shared with Justin at the beginning of our relationship. I asked Oliver and Gael if they could grab me some of my stuff and bring it to the pack house. Oliver insisted, since I refused to stay in my house, that I at least stay on the Beta floor. I had all too willingly agreed. I couldn't process his death. It was like I knew he was dead. I was aware of everything that was taken from me that night, but I couldn't process what that fully meant.

Several days have now passed and I have refused to leave this room. Omegas occasionally come to the outside of the room to bring me food...a few have even offered to clean the room, but I refused. The last time I actually ate something was when I told Justin I was pregnant. Now? The thought of eating food makes me sick. I just want to crawl in a hole and die.

And this is what my days consist of. Every day I just lie in this bed and stare at the walls. I refuse to eat and I barely talk to anyone. When I close my eyes, it is almost like I can envision Justin being still here with me...he talks to me, holds me...the nights are the worst...the nightmares stop. I constantly see the light leave his eyes and hear my gut-wrenching scream ringing out. I hear him tell me he loves me for the last time and then nothing. everything goes black. I have woken up nearly every night screaming and sobbing. Oliver ran into my room the first time that it had happened. Now, I try to muffle the screams with my pillow. I try to sleep with a pillow over my face.

Aziel comes in here and checks on me at least five times a day. He has pleaded and begged me to eat. He has asked me to do something besides sit in this room and mope. He reminded me that Justin would not want me to feel like this or be like that. He has even gone as far as to send Dr. Leigh up here to check on me, but I don’t want people to come in. The only reason I have allowed Aziel in here is because of his promise to Justin. Aziel reminds me of Justin, so it helps to allow me to have a “piece” of him around.

Oliver even thought he was being sneaky when he grabbed some clothes from our house. He snuck in a few of Justin's clothes and items, hoping that it would help me come to terms with all this. Instead, it causes the tears to roll. His scent is potent on his clothing and that is all I think about.

My family has tried to see me, but I have refused them. I know Michael has called several times wanting to speak with me, but I have refused all phone calls and visitors. Justin's family has tried to see me too, but I just can't look in their eyes and tell them that I was not able to protect their son... my mate. Oliver told me that he went and delivered the news to them and the first thing that they asked was about me. He tried telling them that I was going to be okay, but I needed time to process what happened.

Everyone has been worrying about their Alpha. Each day I can feel people pushing on my mind link, trying to talk to me and give me their condolences, but like I said, I cannot handle the thought of dealing with other people

Oliver has been taking care of the pack for me. He has been handling the duties of Alpha, Luna, and Beta. I know that he is overworked and tired... just don't know how to fix it. What do I do to make this all better? I cannot see myself making it out of this alive. I don't want to make it out of this alive. **Oliver's POV**

It has been three days since that attack. Three days since Justin died and she miscarried. I think that had she not had the miscarriage, then she would have been fine. Not fine, but she would not have holed herself up in that damn room. She would have something to live for. Now, everything that she had once known, everything that was worth surviving for, had been ripped from her.

Pack members have been constantly asking me when they were going to see their Alpha, but truthfully, I do not know what to tell them. I don't know what to say that will make this okay.

Her family and Justin's family have been constantly asking me when they can see her and I have to repeatedly tell them that she is not ready for visitors. I haven't told them that she has refused to leave that bed, refused to eat, shower, or even do anything to remotely take care of herself. I don't want them to worry about her.

Michael had been repeatedly blowing up my phone and threatening to come back to check on his sister. I keep telling him that Kataleya needs him to stay where he is at and “win” over his mate, before he returns home...she just wants her brother to be happy.

I don't plan to tell her anytime that we caught one of the rogues as they were trying to escape after Justin died. I am not sure whether that would upset her more or make her happy to do some damage to something. He was one of the ones that Richard saw take down Justin, so Richard chased him down until he caught him. He was the one that delivered the final blow. I will tell her about it, just not yet. I want to wait until she returns to some sense of normalcy.

I now sit in this office again, looking at all the financial paperwork that needs to be signed off on and all I can think is that I have no idea what the fuck I am doing. I don't want to bother her with the pack paperwork, but at the point I am at, I need help.

I rest my head on my hands as I looked over this document regarding damages to some parts of the pack due to that rogue attack. This is why Justin usually handles the financial bullshit. He was better at crunching the numbers than any of us were.

I placed the paper down and laid my head on the desk, contemplating what to do...

Then, the idea hit me. I can ask Kataleya's parents to help me with this. After all, they are the former Alpha and Luna and they know exactly what they are doing. Plus, you know, doing the work of three people is fucking exhausting. Just doing the work of two people is exhausting. I was supposed to be in charge of training while James was gone, but I was not able to find the time to even attend training. So, I ended up giving Aziel a temporary rise in his rank, since he is one of our best senior warriors, and allowed him to be in charge of training the warriors. It keeps him busy too...he has not been sleeping lately either...he has been wracked with guilt over Justin's death and then Kataleya's miscarriage, so he needed something that would keep him busy.

I stood up from my seat at Kataleya's desk and gathered up the paperwork that I was needing help with and made my way to the former Alpha and Luna’s house. Once I walked up the cobblestone steps, I knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer.

I was shocked to see Elijah open the door for me. He has been rather quiet the past few days and I hadn't seen him.

“Hey, man, are your parents’ home?"

He nodded his head and opened the door even wider, allowing me to enter.

He placed his hand on my arm, so I stopped and turned to face him.

"How is she doing?” he asked, concern shining in his eyes.

I shook my head sadly, “I honestly don't know, Elijah. She won't talk to anyone. She is lost in her thoughts and just stares at the wall.”

“I want to try and see her, but I don’t even know what to say...I know she hates being asked if she is okay or how she is handling everything...how would anyone expect her to handle the death of her mate, but...” he trailed off shaking his head. He let go of my arm, “Go ahead, they are in my father's study.”

I know this has been hard on everyone around her and it does not help that she has closed herself off from everyone. It is a shock that she allows Aziel and I to see her...I had to command the Omegas to not tell anyone what they have seen regarding the state that she is in.

I knocked on the door to the study and her mother immediately opened the door.

She moved out of the way, so that I could enter and I noticed my dad was there too.

“What do you need, son?” my dad asked me.

“Well, I need help and I was wondering if the former Alpha and Luna would mind helping me?” Michael Sr. looked at me and I could see the sadness in his eyes. “Of course, Oliver. What do you need help with?”

“Well...I was wondering if you and the former Luna could temporarily reprise your roles or, at the very least, help me with the duties? I have been doing the duties of the Alpha, the Luna, and the Beta and I am tired. Not to mention, I suck at the finance part of all this shit too...Gamma James was sent to another territory to help them, so he is not here, so I am the only ranked member, until Kataleya comes back or at the very least James is able to return. ”

"Of course, we will come back for as long as you need us too.” I handed him the stack of papers I was holding and told him that these were emergent and needed to be taken care of and I had no idea what I was doing.

They both agreed and I went through the stuff that I was struggling with. Once I left their house, I made my way back to the pack house to check on Kataleya. Once I made it to the Beta’s floor, I sighed in relief. I heard water running from her room. Maybe she finally got up to take a shower.

I stopped outside of the door about to knock, when the coppery scent of blood filled my nose.