His Alpha's Guardian

**Kataleya's POV**

**TRIGGER WARNING!! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS CONTENT (MISCARRIAGE) THAT MIGHT BE TRIGGERING TO SOME READERS!!**

My heart stopped the moment that I felt his bond break from me. I let out a loud scream as I collapsed to the ground and everything went dark. I felt someone catch me just as I fell, but I was not able to tell who it was.

I had awoken a little while later and realized that I was still in the clearing. I sat up on my knees, kneeling on the ground, staring at the spot Justin's body used to be in. I tried feeling for his bond before realizing that it was futile. He was really gone. Our bond was no longer there. I let out a gut- wrenching sob and I just cried. I felt arms wrap around me as someone pulled me back.

I looked behind me to see who was there.

Aziel.

"Come on, Kat, let's get you looked at,” he said as he tried to coax me to a standing position, but I still refused. I shook my head no and stayed there. We waited there until the very last body had been disposed of before I allowed Aziel to lead me away. By this point, we had been joined by Gael and Oliver. Both of them gave me the space that was needed.

I reached in my head, searching for Skye, hoping that I could find some comfort from my wolf, but I could not find her. She was not even in the deep recessives of my mind...nopefully she appeared to me soon too.

I was angry. Angry at myself. Angry at them. I was angry at him. I wished he had not commanded the three of them to protect me. I could have sent them to him. I knew he needed help. They were the only ones that were not surrounded by rogues, since they were just helping the ones that were attacking me. I should have been better. I should have found a way to get to him and save him. Now, he is gone. I placed a hand on my stomach as I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. I stopped, doubling over in pain, and Oliver rushed to my side.

"What's wrong?”

“I don't know,” I whispered, “Something feels wrong.”

Before I could even say anything else, Aziel had scooped me in his arms and started rushing to take me to the pack hospital. I looked into his eyes and I could tell that he was mindlinking someone, most likely the hospital, letting them know that I was coming and to be ready for me.

Right before we reached the pack hospital, the coppery scent of my blood invaded my nose and I could feel moisture building on my thighs. I looked down and it was only at this point that I had realized that I didn't have any pants on. I was just wearing an overgrown shirt that Aziel must have slipped on me when he first tried to pull me away.

I almost wanted to tell him to say fuck going to the doctor. I could already tell that I was having a miscarriage. I didn’t want to have to see pity in anyone's eyes when they realized that not only did I lose my mate, but I also lost my baby. I felt the tears pouring down my face when I realized that I was not strong enough to do this for him. I was not going to be strong enough to move on for him. I could feel myself sinking into a very dark hole, but it did not feel as if there was any way out of this hole. I just hope Justin will forgive me for not being strong enough.

As we walked into the hospital, Dr. Leigh was waiting for me with a stretcher. She thanked them for bringing me and told them that there was no need for them to wait, she would take care of me and make sure that I got home if need be. Aziel and Oliver refused to leave, but they gave Gael permission to return to his mate.

The moment that I was in the room and she shut the door, she began doing her work. She did not talk and for that I was entirely grateful. The only conversation we had was her asking me my pain level and if certain things hurt when she pressed down.

“Kataleya, I am so sorry. You are having a miscarriage. My speculation is that all the stress and trauma that you just went through, caused the miscarriage to happen. By the time you arrived, it was too late. Nothing could be done to save the fetus. I am sorry.” She looked at me sympathetically. “Oh, and Alpha, I am sorry about Alpha Justin. He will truly be missed. If you ever need someone to talk to or need some kind of support, you can always come to me. I will always be a listening ear for you. I wish for you to stay overnight, just so I can keep an eye on you. Tomorrow, I will discharge you.” Those were her final words to me as she slowly left the room, shutting the door behind her.

I nodded my head as I turned away, letting the tears silently fall down my face.

A failure.

A fuck up.

Those two phrases were floating in my head on repeat. How do I move on from this? What would Justin want me to do? Simple...he would want me to move on. I can already imagine him telling me that he would want me happy. Safe.

Instead, here I am falling apart. I keep hoping this was all some fucked up dream that I was going to soon wake from. I was hoping that I would wake up in bed with my heart pounding, but Justin would be lying next to me, ready to comfort me because of those awful dreams.

But that is wishful thinking. I know that he is dead. I watched as he died, unable to move from my spot. I watched as he told me he loved me one last time, replaying the moment over and over again. By that point, I could tell that he had given up as I continued to fight my way to him. I felt the moment our bond broke and the searing pain that rushed through me at the loss of my mate. I felt someone catch me as I fell, gently laying me on the ground.

I don't even remember falling asleep, but I guess I did at some point. The first thing that I noticed when I had come out of my sleep was that this was not a dream. I was still in the hospital and the bond was still dead. There was nothing there. No hope for me.

I looked around the dark room and realized that the two other chairs in the room were occupied. Oliver and Azael were there. Oliver appeared to be sleeping, snoring peacefully. Azael was awake, watching me as I looked around the room.

“I know this is a stupid question, Alpha, but how are you feeling?”

I thought for a moment before deciding to tell him the truth. “Dead. I feel dead inside. Empty.” I whispered to him. “Please, you know you don't have to call me Alpha. I never required it before, unless we were in front of other pack members.”

He nodded his head before speaking again. “Justin spoke to me before he died. He commanded me. That is what he used his last act on. I don't want to break his command, but I feel that it will upset you.”

I could feel my eyes welling with the tears again and I closed my eyes. “Really? And what was the last thing that my mate said to you?”

He spoke quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. If I was not a werewolf, then I would not have the words as they left his mouth. “He asked me to keep you safe, no matter the circumstances. He commanded me to be your personal bodyguard. He told me to keep you and his child safe. He told me to tell you that it is okay to move on and that everything would be alright. He will not hold you moving on against you, he wants you to be happy and safe.” He was quiet for a moment as he contemplated his next words. “I failed you and I failed my Alpha. You miscarried. Yes, we asked Dr. Leigh. We needed to know. Don't worry, we were the only ones that were told. I guess it helped that not many people in the pack knew you were pregnant. His final words were to protect you and his baby, but I couldn't even do that...how could you ever forgive me for my incompetence?” his voice trailed off at the end and I could tell that he was struggling with his emotions. He closed his eyes when I saw the first flicker of black, indicating that his wolf was trying to come forward.

"Aziel, it is not your fault. Don't blame yourself for me miscarrying. If you want, I can release you from his command, but I won't do it unless you tell me that it is truly what you want. I want you to tell me you want it because deep down it is something that you need, not because you are feeling guilty about not being able to protect my baby and I. There is nothing to forgive you for,” I whispered the last part. I meant every word that I said to him. There truly was no reason for him to feel guilty or to need my forgiveness, he did nothing wrong.

“I want to keep his command. At least for now. It is the very least I can do for my best friend. I will make sure that I protect you even if it is the last thing I do.”