High Moon High School

I can feel your sadness and pain

I glance at the clock for the millionth time, 5am.

The twins’ soft snoring finally calmed my nerves a few hours ago. Every time I close my eyes, the scenes unfold as clear as they were in real time. Each time, the fear grips me and bile rises in my throat. I decided to go and take a shower and wash off the filth from the events of the day. My skin felt filthy, disgusting and I may now be a wolf but I never wanted to harm anyone. I have someone’s blood on my hands. I took a life.

I step into the shower and turn the water as hot as I can stand it.

I scrub until my skin is raw, it’s no use. I don’t feel any cleaner, nor do I feel any better about what I have done. I’m not sure how long I stand scrubbing and I don’t even notice the blood starting to seep through my skin or the shower door opening until the twins step in, Ajax grabs my hands as Aries takes the blood stained exfoliating sponge from me.

I look up and notice they’re both still fully dressed in the clothes they had fallen asleep in. Aries undresses and washes himself as Ajax holds me close to him keeping my arms trapped between us, I still haven’t spoken a word since the attack, I don’t think I have the ability to form any.

Aries steps out of the shower after washing himself down and wraps a towel around his middle, Ajax guides me out of the shower to Aries. I step out still feeling unclean, as I do Aries wraps me up in a towel and takes me in his arms and through to my room onto the sofa and places me down in the middle of it. Aries sits down beside me placing a soft kiss on my fragile skin still stinging slightly from the persistent scrubbing. Ajax enters the room wrapped in his own towel. Aries comes behind me attentively drying off my wet locks with a towel while Ajax looks over my body.

“You are healing well baby, you haven’t spoken for hours I can feel your sadness and your pain and it’s breaking my heart.” He says softly. “How can we help you? What can we do to make you feel better Cici I need you to talk to me.” He pleads. I just blink at him, unable to communicate in any sort of way.

Aries comes around to kneel in front of me looking me in the eyes. “My love, what happened was necessary, you have no reason to feel any kind of guilt or sadness for the lives lost. We don’t know what they would have done to you.” Again I just blink a stray tear falling from my eye and landing on my lap.

“Don’t cry love, let’s get you dressed and back to the pack house. School isn’t the place to be right now; we can have our work sent to us for the time being.” Aries coos.

I nod my head and try to move, my body not cooperating with the commands my brain is giving.

“She’s in shock, let’s get her sorted and to the pack hospital.” Ajax says Aries grunts his agreement as they leave to gather us all some clean clothes.

Ersa remains quiet in my head, maybe she is in shock too. My skin has healed nicely thanks to my werewolf gene though I still have the urge to scrub away at my skin. Ajax appears again in front of me and dresses me in a pair of tan joggers and matching hoodie, he pulls my hair out from my top and places a kiss on my head. “Let’s get you home baby.”

As I lay on the bed in the hospital room waiting for Dr. Marshall to come and look over me the events of the day before taking permanent residence in my head, it is all I can think of. I know Ersa feels the same. The twins pass a look between them and both look at me, I know they’re having their own silent conversation.

The Dr. comes in and runs through checks, I go through the motions, see his mouth moving but don’t hear any words I feel as though my head’s under water, panic rears its ugly head gripping me, my lungs won’t fill, I start to flail around on the bed looking for something to help. I start to fall but never reach the floor, my vision blurs as I feel a sharp scratch in my arm. I know one of my mates caught me, I’m not sure which one but I’m grateful as I slip into an unconscious state.

Opening my eyes slowly my eyelids feel heavy, I start to slowly sit up and take in my surroundings as my eyes adjust. I am in a hospital room, I look around for Ajax and Aries and see a silhouette outside the door. As panic starts to rise in my chest the door bursts open and there stand my Alpha’s worried looks on their faces.

“Baby you’re awake, what’s wrong? We felt you panic.” Ajax questions.

I try to talk but my throat is dry and my words are barely audible. I look at the water jug on the table just out of reach. Aries walks over to the jug and pours me a glass of water and helps me to take a sip. “My love, the good doctor recommends you just sip small amounts when you wake.” I nod to him enjoying the coolness of the water, welcoming some lubrication to my sandpaper like throat. I lick my dry lips as he pulls away the glass and I try again to speak.

“I saw your shadows through the frosted glass and...” I trail off and feel a blush spread across my cheeks feeling silly for being scared.

Ajax grabs my hand, “Baby I’m sorry, I didn’t think the Doctor was just talking to us outside giving us an update.” He tells me. “He says you went into shock love and you had a pretty bad panic attack so he sedated you” Aries explains.

I nod taking in the information. My stomach rumbles and I let out a giggle, “I think I might be hungry.” I say my Alpha’s smile hearing my voice and both plant a kiss on my cheek.

The Doctor enters the room and checks me over calling out all sorts of numbers and other terms I don’t understand to the nurse.

“Saturation 98%, resps good, pulse 60 at resting not bad, BP 120 over 80 OK I’d like you to stay in for a few hours more while we monitor you, you have been out for a day and a half alot longer than we expected but that’s clearly what your body needed to recover. You can have a round of toast and see how you go, plenty of water but just sips for now so as not to unsettle your stomach. From what the young Alpha’s here said you haven’t eaten for around three and a half days.” He says.

“Thankyou Doctor.” I respond

“My pleasure little Luna.” He says as he walks away and out of the room with his nurse leaving me with my mates.

I look between them. They look tired, their faces full of worry.

“Ajax, Aries I’m so so sorry. For Brad, for not answering your calls, for leaving and putting us all at risk, I’m just so unbelievably sorry for everything.” I manage to choke out whilst keeping down the tears. My eyes are still so sore and sensitive from the hours of crying over the previous days.

“Baby, it’s not usually my thing but let me tell you, once you are back to your usual self you won’t be able to sit on your perfect arse. I am beyond angry that you let another man kiss you but we can come back to that.” Ajax says

Aries speaks next, ” Oh my love you will be punished for that but let’s get you back to your usual self first