Forbidden by Fate

Emersyn’s POV

The sound of music playing softly in the courtyard drifts up to my open window as I frantically pace the floor in anxious despair. I am alone in my room waiting for my mother to join me to help me finish getting ready. The royal blue dress with teal embroidery lies on my bed, taunting me with thoughts of self-deprecation. I can feel my pulse racing and my breath quickening as I hear the door unlatching, revealing my mother. Her smile quickly fades as she sees my panicked expression.

“Emersyn, just breathe,” she orders me as she comes to my side. “Just let it pass, honey.”

I know what this is. This is not the first time I have had an anxiety attack. My hands shake and my lips tremble as I try desperately to remind myself that I am going to be alright. The fear of failure is swallowing me whole as my mother locks her eyes with mine. She slowly takes in deep breaths, willing me to mimic her actions.

“I can’t do this,” I manage to whisper breathlessly.

“Yes, you can. You are stronger than you believe. You are a future Luna who will be loved by all that meet her,” she soothes as she rubs the small of my back in assurance. “You will not fail.”

But how could she be certain of either of those things? I want to be all that my family needs me to be. I want to be the daughter that does her duty with dignity and grace, yet here I am. I am frightened to face Liam, terrified that he will sense I am not entirely sure I can do this, blatantly aware of the fact that he may know I am hiding a secret. I know what I must do and yet I cannot make my heart agree with my mind. I am broken, trapped in a web of my own making, and I cannot tell anyone the truth.

My mother’s worried frown reaches her eyes as she tries again, “Emersyn, is there something you need to tell me?”

I love my mother and respect her with all that I am, but I am no fool. I know that admitting my feelings for Callum will only complicate matters. I shake my head in denial, lying once again to her, whispering through gritted teeth. “I just need a minute.”

Her eyes soften as she caresses my face gently, “Take your time, they will wait.”

The pack’s healer had given me some advice to help when the attacks took me by surprise. I focused my attention on the room that surrounded me, looking for something that would bring me back to reality. The fur blanket upon the edge of my bed beckoned to me and I grabbed it quickly, allowing my senses to heighten.

I pulled the soft fur towards my face, taking in a deep breath, allowing the scent to invigorate me. I could smell lavender, the calming aroma of the detergent my mother had specially ordered for me to help when she realized I was having trouble sleeping. I touched the soft pelt, running my fingers through it, grounding myself to this moment. Taking in a deep breath I slowly allowed it to release listening to the sound of my heartbeat calming.

My mother gently puts her hand on my head as she says, “My sweet girl, you have to quit taking it all in. You must learn to share your burdens, if not with me, with someone.”

I shake my head at her knowing that she is right. “I will get it under control, Mother.”

“Emersyn, I am not telling you to get it under control. I am telling you that I am worried about you,” she says as she gives me a discerning look.

“I know, Mother. I am sorry,” I say as I fight the urge to allow the dam of tears free that I am holding at bay.

“There is no need to be sorry,” she scoffs at me. “I just want you to be okay. If this is too much, I will tell them you are unwell.”

“Absolutely, not!” I exclaim. “You are right. I can do this.”

“Alright then,” she states standing. “Let’s get you ready then.”

I step into the floor length dress, shimmying as I push my hips into it’s fitted waist. Mother smiles as she pulls the laces of the corset back tight. I allow myself to glance at my reflection in the vanity mirror as she finishes, suppressing a gasp. I have never been one to feel confident in my own skin, but as I look at myself even, I can’t help but to admit that I feel beautiful.

“Perfect,” my mother whispers as she watches my eyes grow wide with disbelief. “Are you ready?”

I take in a deep breath soothing myself as I reply, “As I will ever be.”

“Okay, let’s do this!” She says smiling at me as she slides my matching heels upon my feet for me.

As we approach the stairwell leading into the courtyard the music fades and all eyes fall upon me. I steady my breath, taking slow and deliberate steps down the stairs. My eyes scan the familiar faces of those in my pack, searching for the imposters I am certain to find, but my breath catches as a pair of piercing green eyes hold my gaze. Callum’s lips part in a look of awe as I try to read his expression. I remind myself that others are watching, forcing myself to pull my eyes from his.

My gaze falls upon Athena’s smiling face as she nods her head at me. My pulse quickens knowing that he will be near her. In my mind I still expect to find an awkward boy, but instead my eyes fall upon the handsome face of a young man with hazel eyes the color of the golden sun. My breath catches as our eyes meet and a stunning smile reaches all the way to the corner of his eyes. I would be a liar to say that I was not keenly aware of the fact that he was substantially attractive.

He reaches his hand out to grasp mine as I reach the last step, “Emersyn O’ Connor it has been a while since I have seen those beautiful eyes. I must admit that I had forgotten how captivating they were.”

I grin as my heart skips a beat. “Does that usually work for all the girls?”

“I have to be honest with you,” he says holding my gaze. “It’s the first time I have ever tried it. How am I doing so far?”

I arch a brow playfully as I respond laughing, “I’ve heard worse.”

“Have you?” He says with the slightest hint of jealousy playing in his tone. “Well, let’s hope that I am the one that makes the most lasting impression.”

“So far, I would say I am impressed.” I say with a slight air of confidence.

He grins as he motions towards the dance floor, nodding his head at the band who begins to play softly, “Would you like to dance?”

“Of course,” I say as I allow him to lead me to the center of courtyard.

I shudder as his hand touches the curve of my back, pulling me closer to him. He smiles at my body’s reaction to his fingers gracing my bare skin as he begins to move to the cadence of the music. I allow him to lead, and I follow. We don’t speak as he looks at me with wonder apparent in his eyes.

“What?” I ask worried that my hair has fallen out of place or my make up has smeared.

He smiles as he twirls me around him before pulling me back close to him, “Nothing, I was just thinking that I must be the luckiest man alive to be promised to someone like you.”

“You hardly know me,” I say blushing at his compliment.

“You are right but I have a good feeling and I am usually right.” He says confidently.

I roll my eyes at his arrogance as I respond, “You are definitely an alpha heir.”

His laughter warms my soul as he grins at me, “Is that a bad thing?”

“I suppose not,” I say holding his gaze. “You and Maverick just have a lot in common.”

He grimaces as he looks towards Maverick and Callum. “I don’t think he would like to hear that. It seems that he and Callum are not my biggest fans.”

I can’t help but feel a pang of hope that maybe it’s because Callum is jealous. I push the thought aside as I say, “They are just two of a kind. I am sure it’s nothing.”

“I don’t know. It sure doesn’t seem like nothing,” he says as he pulls his attention back to me. “But he is not who I am here to impress.”

“Is that right?” I say smiling.

“Yes, it is. He will come around,” he says grinning. “I am lovable after all.”

I laugh as I respond, “That’s not how I remember you.”

He tilts his head back laughing heartily, “Hey, I have grown up a lot since then. Let’s just let by gones be by-gones.”

I raise my perfectly arched brows as I allow a white lie to roll off of my tongue, “Of course, it’s already forgotten.”

His golden eyes light with amusement as he replies, “I seem to recall a promise you made me the last time I saw you.”

I feign an offended look as I point at myself, “Me? Hm. I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Somehow, I highly doubt that,” he says with a twinkling smile.

“Well, I guess you will just have to trust me, wont you?” I say with a devious grin.

But as the words roll off my tongue, I feel a pang of guilt, because I know that I am the last person that he should trust. Not because I fully intend to get even but because I am still acutely aware of a pair of emerald eyes that have been fixated on me since I sat foot in the courtyard. Because though I find Liam intriguing I cant help but hope that I am driving Callum mad.