SWNOVELS Flawed Heart: Chapter 39
Asher is the greatest thing I’ve ever done. I wasn’t sure if I ever saw myself being a father. My own died when I was so young, and I was forced to pay for his sins. I never thought about my own children. I knew Amelia might want them someday, but I never stopped to ask myself if parenthood was for me. I guess I don’t know if many fathers do. I also have no one to ask. I kind of like that the decision was taken away from me, and that a chance of fate and luck worked in my favor. Amelia was on birth control. I know it happens, but it’s rare. Another force greater than us was pushing us together. I just wish she could see it.
True to her word, Amelia let me be a part of her and Asher’s life for the next two weeks. I helped change diapers, do his laundry, feed and burp him, and much to Amelia’s surprise I took turns doing night duty. She did all the work to bring him into the world, I can’t do as much as her, but I can try to alleviate some of her work. It kills me that I’m leaving, that we’ll be apart, and she’ll be doing everything. It’s what she seems to want though.
“We’ll be fine,” She shakes her head at me, “I’m feeling much better now. And you’ll see him soon. I planned to join up with the tour in the states next month. I’ll bring Asher, and you can spend time with him.”
I grit my jaw to swallow down the anger from her words. Amelia is trying her damndest to push me away from her. Parenting time. Co-parenting. Time here and time there. That’s all she’s willing to give me.
“Or you can just move back to the U.S. to make it easier,” I shrug my shoulders. I’ll play her game for now. Once I’m back home I have my own plan to set in motion.
“This is my home, Zander,” She retaliates while picking up baby toys from the ground. I don’t know why she has so many. Asher can’t even see color yet.
“Is it? Because from what I can see, all your family is in the U.S. Beckett and Riggs will be spending more time there after the tour because they have promotions and other obligations now. Same for the girls.”
“My job is here,” She fires back, this time with flames dancing in her eyes.
“Tabbi is more than capable of running Rosen Records on her own. Plus her husband is here. You can be a CEO anywhere.”
Amelia crosses her arms, fully glaring at me this time, “Why are you fighting with me about this? I thought we had a good thing planned out already where we both get time with Asher. I live here, and you live there, he’ll have the best of both worlds.”
I disagree, but nod my head. Now is not the time. I need everything on my end buttoned up before the floor falls out from under her. Amelia might hate me for what I’m going to do, but I need my son with me. I want my family.
“I’ll be back in two weeks,” I remind her, grabbing my bag from the floor. The taxi honks from outside.
“I’ll be in the US two weeks after that, there is no reason for you to come back before then. I’ll send pictures, videos, you can FaceTime us,” Amelia argues.
I take Asher from her arms and snuggle his fuzzy head against my chin. The more she talks, the more frustrated I get. I’m this close to just grabbing them both and taking them with me. If I have Asher, Amelia will come with me one way or the other. The taxi honks again, and I give Asher back. My gaze flickers over them both, memorizing the way they look right now. There’s a pang in my chest, a phantom tugging. I don’t want to leave.
“I’ll see you soon,” I confirm, my plan resolute.
Amelia nods, but I can see her confusion. She doesn’t get it, and I’m not giving her a warning. I believe Amelia did everything she could to tell me about the baby. Once I get to the bottom of who kept her pregnancy from me, I’ll be paying a visit to my lawyer. Amelia may hate me for a while, but it’s just words. She loves me. I love her. It’s a thin line between love and hate right now, but I’ll make her an offer she won’t be able to refuse. The mother in her won’t allow her to, and that’s what I’m placing all my bets on.
2 weeks later…
Ocean’s plane touches down in New Zealand. I have to admit, flying private is the way to go. I make a mental note to invest in my own one of these days. I made Ocean aware of my plan, and my only saving grace was that she is a true romantic at heart. She is mad at me, pissed that her friend and boss was hurt, but more than anything, she now believes that I didn’t miss the pregnancy on purpose.
“He did what?” Ocean practically screams. She paid a visit to my office. No doubt to warn me away from Amelia. She is the first to see the truth though. When I got back I went right to Marshall’s computer. In a private storage folder on his computer I found the emails. In his locked drawer I found the letters and the sonogram. I almost broke down, I wanted to break Marshall’s face.
“He’ll be here soon,” I warn her, “I need to confront him.”
Ocean’s chin lifts, “I’m staying for this.”
We wait until nine when Marshall usually starts his day. The minute I see him, I clear my face of all emotion, even though I’d like nothing more than to grab his tie and strangle him with it.
“Sit,” I command. He startles slightly, his mouth opening and closing. Until he sees Ocean standing by the desk. His face transforms as if he’s won the lottery.
“Yes, Sir,” He answers and sits across from me, looking smug.
“I have a son,” I tell him and watch as his face drops and pales, “Before you deny any involvement, I want you to know I saw the emails and I found the letters. I have my minor in computer tech. It wasn’t difficult to crack your faulty security. Why did you do it?”
Sweat starts to drip down his forehead. His thin lips open and close and his eyes bounce between Ocean and me, “I…I -Sir, I just. The investigation and everything that was going on. I didn’t trust her. You said you didn’t trust her, so I thought she was lying. I thought she was trying to manipulate you into getting money, or stopping the investigation. The tabloids and reporters said she was evil and would destroy your business. I was helping you!”
“Amelia isn’t like that,” I glare, my voice harsh, “I don’t pay you to make those decisions for me. I lost out on my child’s birth and every doctor’s appointment. He is my son. I don’t give a fuck what some B rated reporters and the tabloids say.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Knight,” Marshall’s head bows and his cheeks turn red.
“You’re fired. You have five minutes to get your things. Security will meet you at the hallway and escort you out.”
Marshall breaks down crying. Ocean and I watch as he gathers his things and flees the room. Anger boils in my veins. I lay my head back in my chair, taking deep breaths.
“I wasn’t expecting that,” Ocean says. I glance at her, and catch her watching me, with her head tilted.
“What?”
“You look like your world is falling apart,” She answers candidly.
I grunt, “It is. Asher is my life. Amelia is my heart.”
“I just thought you’d be fine co-parenting. From everything I know and have heard, but you’re genuinely upset right now,” She continues.
“Is there a purpose to this conversation, or a reason you’re here?” I cut in, my eyes closing. I need to focus on the next part of my plan.
“Here,” She says and I feel something hit my chest. “That’s the number for my pilot James. I expect you’ll be needing something private. He’ll take you where you need to go.”
Without another word she turns and leaves my office as quietly as she came in. I glance down at the little business card and shove it in my pocket. She has no idea what I have planned, but she just gave me the golden ticket.
After I fired Marshall I called York and demanded he send Katie back. She returned that afternoon, and I set about upping my schedule. I met with my lawyer at lunch, and two weeks later I had everything I needed. I wasn’t letting go without a fight.
Once Ocean’s plane lands in New Zealand, I take a rented SUV right to Amelia’s home. Standing in front of Amelia’s door, I knock and wait.
“Just a second!” She yells from inside and I hear music coming from a child’s toy. I can’t wait to hold Asher. FaceTime and pictures just aren’t the same. A few seconds later Amelia flings the door open, her smiling fading when she sees me.
“What are you doing here?”
My head cocks to the side, “I told you I’d be back in two weeks.”
“I thought we agreed I’d see you in four when I’m at the tour?” Her face flushes.
“I miss you. I miss my son,” I shrug. “Are you going to let me in?”
Amelia hesitates, but finally steps back so I can enter. She closes the door behind me, silently. Her face is scrunched. I glance around the house and notice the Christmas things are put away. I find Asher easily in his swing, swinging side to side, his eyes focused on the floating butterfly above him with a Nook in his mouth. He looks bigger already, his face fuller, and less red. I’m missing it all. My hands clench at my sides.
“Zan–”
“This is for you,” I hand her the contract. Amelia’s hands shake as she grabs it and I fight the urge to hold her. The papers rustle while she reads, flipping over the pages, I hear her gasp.
“You’re such a jerk, Zander,” She whispers, but her words crack with tears.
I turn to her, taking in her jeans and rumpled t-shirt. She looks tired. I raise my brow, “I think all things considered, it’s a decent deal, Amelia.”
“How is this a deal?” Her teeth clench and her eyes water, “You said you would co-parent with me. That we could do this evenly. Why are you doing this?”
“He’s growing every day, Amelia. I missed seeing you pregnant, gorgeous and growing with my child. I missed the doctor’s appointments, running to get you anything you craved, I missed hearing his heartbeat for the first time. I didn’t get to see the birth, or cut the cord, or hold your hand. Passing him back and forth across the ocean every month for the next eighteen years is not how I want to co-parent,” I move closer to her.
“So taking him from me will fix that?” She sobs, her hands clutching her chest.
“You have an option, Amelia. Live with me for a month. See how well we can do this together for real. Live with me, let me help you. You can work and be a mom anywhere,” I remind her.
“And if I don’t, you’ll take me to court for full custody?” Amelia scoffs.
“It’s your decision.”
“It’s blackmail! Of all people….you’re going to blackmail me now? Dragging us into the past before wasn’t enough for you?”
“I’ll do what it takes to keep my family,” I warn, taking the next few steps closer to her again. Amelia’s body shakes. It kills me to see the pain in her eyes, but I stay strong for us. For our future. “I have a plane waiting. We leave in two hours. Whatever you need, I suggest you start packing. I’ll help load up Asher and his things. I have an SUV so we can fit in everything.”
“I’m not leaving,” She shakes her head, her eyes finally meeting mine. Her head tilts back, and I reach to cradle it with my hands. She immediately grips my wrists to stop me.
“I’m not asking, baby. You don’t want to know what I’m capable of. Either you leave on your own, or I’ll drag you there kicking and screaming. I think the tabloids would love that, but it’s up to you,” I kiss her cheeks, her jaw, and her neck, punctuating each threat. She shivers, her face paling.
“Be a good girl, and go pack, Amelia,” I let her go and she stumbles slightly. Her mouth opens to argue, “I’ll watch Asher. I can get his diaper bag and bottles ready. It’s a long flight.”