F#ck Festive Day

Seasons Greetings to you all at the Waterside Queeff Police Station,

from

Dhobit & Fizzle Mittenglitter.....

As you are aware the 'Festive Day' this year will be shared with myself and my lovely wife, Fizzle here at 66 Saffron Way, Waterside Queeff , with my family who are coming from miles away to attend this function.

All of my family are sporting enthusiasts and I am sending you this letter to invite you to participate in a game of Rugby with us to see who is the better of the two teams. My lot or your lot. I have been told via people who have now left the country and wish to remain nameless that your team couldn’t pull the skin off a rice pudding and your team members have trouble even dressing themselves, so would you be up for a match of skill and precision with us on the 'Festive Day' at Fud Rugby Park when the sun is high in the sky?

I say this in this way because we know you struggle with telling the time and clocks and numbers. I am also writing this as slowly as I can because I know you can’t read very fast.

Looking forward to hearing back from you but understand if I don’t...as not many of you can write.

Happy Festive Day

Dhobit & Fizzle Mittenglitter.

“I love “Festive Day”. I get a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to swap.” Author