Experimentation

I had felt a gentle push touch my shoulder and hear a slight buzz coming from beside me. I slowly let my eyes open and find the source of the nudge, my nurse whose name is Tina. Tina smiles at the fact even an alarm can’t wake me up in the morning. I swiftly get out of bed and make my way towards my table, resting on top of my table was my breakfast: oatmeal with cinnamon, orange juice, and pill-infused gelatin (my favorite, hear the sarcasm. I watch this Tina just observes me eating my food, she’s been acting weird for these last few days but to be honest I’ve only been here for 3 weeks now and maybe this is how she usually is. as I finally finished my intake of medication for the morning I look over Tina and see a lock of worried in the eyes, “Tina, are you okay? Is there something wrong?” And even when she answers know the look in her eye clearly shows her brooding mindset. “You have a visitor coming in this morning, a young boy named Cade is coming to see you,” Tina said in a quiet voice. I look at her and nod my head, wishing I didn’t have to see him but Dr. Edwin said in order to heal for the future you must face your past. “What time is he coming?” I said to her while keeping my interest in my meal for the day. “At 11 o’clock Ria.” She said straightening up her back and walked out the door.

The day was slow since I woke up at 6, waiting for the time to pass by during the simple school work keeps my mind occupied and lets the time slip by. I place my pencil gently down next to my work as the camera is angled on me, I look up at the damn thing that watching me and I nod my head. Signaling that I am done for now and they can take the pencil, even though it’s dull and flat its still considered a weapon. Tina walks in and gives me a sweet smile before collecting the completed school work off the table, as she finishes I sense her gaze placed on my face. I look into her eyes and see a flash of worry appear in her eyes, quickly covered with her plastic smile. “Your friend is here.” She said in a quiet voice, I nod my head and walk towards my bed straightening the covers before laying gently on the bed. “Send him in, I’m ready,” I mumbled to Tina almost inaudible to the eerie silence I have grown comfortable with over time. None of the less Tina just did a gentle nod as I laid my head to rest against the pillows I neatly fixed on the bed, closing my eyes in peace.

The wait was longer than I had perceived it would be, I look at my clock and see I had been laying here for 27 minutes. I sit up and walk over to my bookshelf which was placed in the corner and grabbed a book off the shelf, “The Last Letter.” by Nikole Sier. Interesting. I placed the book on the table and sat in the chair with my eyes glued to the door which was stationary. Pulling the book to my face looking at the window that shows the hall before me, no movement was made for a few minutes, therefore, I turned my gaze to the book in front of me.

The details dragged me in, the strength of this girl is some few have. My mind lost in the book that I didn’t notice the door opening or even the chair from my table being moved until I heard a cough echo through the room causing me to jump in fear. I turn towards the source of the sound and see Cade sitting in the chair staring into my eyes, blank with emotion. I place the book beside my pillow and sit up slowly. “Hey.” I manage to say without a frog in my voice. “Hi.” the tone was forced out of Cade was harsh, cold even. The way his eyes seemed to darken as I began to stand up cause a wave of uncertainty to pass through me. “How are you Cade?” a soft whisper of my formal voice had managed to say as I had placed my hand on his shoulder. His head shot up at me and he brushed my hand off his shoulder, I see the pure anger in his eyes as I attempted to grab his hand causing me to back away until I touched my bed. “How am I? I don’t know, I mean my best friend tried to kill herself. The person I talked to about every last shitty memory in my life and yet one awful thing happens and she thinks it’s justified to try and die? How about you tell me how I am?” Cade has risen in anger as he stepped closer to my standing position. “I understand you are angry with me but you must listen to my side of this before you let your anger cloud your judgment.” I stuttered out while moving slightly forward attempting to comfort him. “I understand what I did wrong but you must believe me when I say I wasn’t myself, there was a darker part that had consumed me. This part of myself was twisted and once I lost my mom it had flooded my soul, blinding me with the promises my family will be fine and I could join my mom. This part of me believed my death would have granted you a freedom that I know you crave to have, maybe from me or from your family but I just wanted your freedom. Can you believe me when I say all I thought about was you but I took care of myself in the most selfish way possible? You’re my best friend and I don’t want to lose you.” I screamed with tears streaming toward my neck.

Cade’s eyes were emotion, cold, and harsh letting the pain of our crumbling relationship set in. “Lose me? That’s funny because you never even had me to begin with. You’re nothing but a spoiled little brat that thinks her mommy issues are the worst things in the room.” Cade spat at me walking closer to me. “Here’s a reality check for you, your mom is dead and there is nothing you can do about! You go off and try to end your life just because your mom died, people go through worse every single day and yet you believe you have the right to pull something like this? No, you don’t have the right and you know what? You can rot in here for the rest of your pathetic life.” I froze after he lost his mind, my body motionless as he stormed out. Had I hurt him beyond repair? How did I manage to harm the people close to me extremely with my actions? My thoughts began to scramble letting it sink in that I had hurt my family with my actions, I was selfish and I destroyed people because of my darken emotions.

The door is slammed opened startling me, Dr. Edwin and a few nurses march in. “Dr. Edwin, how may I help you?” I whisper out ashamed of myself for my actions still. I notice hands harshly grip onto my upper arm restraining me, panic rises in me as the hands begin to grip tighter. “I said try to make amends with the people of your past, not harm them more than they are. I believe its time for your first-” Edwin cuts himself off, his expression begins to change from this calmly collected persona to a sinister light in his eye. “Punishment.” I am then pulled from my room and start getting dragged down the hallway I once feared. My body freezes as a sharp pain enter my neck and the world begins to fade away.

A ringing noise wakes me from my sleep, my alarm? I lift my hand up as best as I could but after a few inches, it hit a cold metal surface. The sudden coldness causes a memory spark in my mind as I remember the events that occurred previously. I slowly lift my head and open my eyes slowly as the light began to flood my vision, the walls around me are stained with blood. The blood slowly runs down the wall, and the putrid stench reaches my nose causing my body to gag. A vile laugh erupts throughout the room my body freezes in fear, “Hello there Ria, are you comfortable? I do hope you are, after all, you will be here for an-” Edwin pause of a second. “An indefinite amount of time.” His voice whispers maliciously behind me, remaining out of sight I felt another pinch in my neck. “This is a new ‘medicine’ I’m working on to make a patient more ‘susceptible’ to change. Don’t you want to change my dear?” Edwin whispers in my ear in an eerie tone. I try to shake my head in response but my body seems to stay motionless, what have I gotten myself into? A single tear starts to run down my puffed cheeks when a head strap is wrapped around my forehead. “We don’t want you to hurt yourself now do we?” Utters Edwin as he continues to strap me down. A strap is tightened around my chest to restrain any motion from my upper back, one around my stomach to contain my back completely, the final strap is pushed into my mouth and Edwin stares right into my eyes. “We don’t need you to bite your tongue off, I heard it’s quite uncomfortable to live with after. We are all ready to begin now.” Fear had finally allowed my body to move as I begin to thrash in the chair as tears stream out. “Now, there is no reason to be afraid. This is your punishment, you had brought this on yourself for upsetting your guest. If you keep moving I’m going to have to do something you may regret, you do want to see your family right?” After those last few words left his mouth I stopped moving, what is he going to do to them? My vision blurry from the tears but I manage to look him in the eye with a rage I never felt before but I don’t move. My defeat must have shown in my eyes because Edwin just smiles and begins to walk to this control center and begins to mash around buttons. He turns to me and says three words, “This will hurt.” I watch as he hits the lever down and the cables begin to spark. After a second of waiting, a powerful shock course through me, an agonizing pain starts to overtake my body. As the shock stops my body stays in pain, trying to move away from the source but I’m restrained to the chair. Before my body could begin to relax another shock courses through me, the pain starts to increase from the last time my heart begins to beat rapidly as the electricity hits my heart.

I don’t know how long my torture has been going on, all I can focus on is the pain. Electricity pulsing through my every inch slows time to a small painful eternity of torture. My mind begins to shut down exhausted from the pain I had undergone as the straps starting to be peeled off my skin. “I hope you learned your lesson, you must behave.” Edwin says in a gentle tone, taunting me for his supposed ‘lesson’. “Your friend will be in here to collect you,” Edwin says as I wince in pain. I let my eyes stay close trying to allow the pain to takes it course while staying in the metal chair as a slamming noise came from the direction of the door. I felt hands grab me pulling me from the chair but I keep my eyes shut, not wanting whoever it is to see me in this amount of pain. I hear a little hum go through my ears before the world completely drifts away.

A soft voice begins to stir me from my sleep, the song relaxes me. “You’re all right Ria.” The voice whispers in my ear and I slowly open my eyes. Their head is turned away but its the scar on the person’s arm allows me to recognize them. “Katrina, thank you for helping me.” I managed to say with my voice cracking with dryness, she nods her head in a welcoming way. A silver shines around her neck but my vision blurs before I’m able to grasp what it was. I see her turn to walk away but I grab her wrist stopping me. “Why did you help me?” I mutter to her, she places her free hand on mine and sighs. “I didn’t have someone to look after me, I don’t want the same thing to happen to you. ” She gently pulls her hand away and walks out but I hear her soft voice one last time, “Call me Trina.” and I let my mind drift to sleep.